Chapter 5. Who Told You?

"Come on, Dallas," River said and grimaced. He looked away and squinted like he was trying to look far into the Montana skies. 

“I don't know what you mean,” I breathed out in shock. It felt as if my lungs had collapsed.

River gazed up at me for a long moment. His eyes pierced mine as he came to a slow stand. Once he was in front of me, he spoke. “I'm talking about Lyle,” he said. River’s eyes didn’t let up. His confidence hindered any excuse I could have used; he knew.

My mind went numb, almost blank. If I thought I was faster than River, I would have made a run for it. Flames licked up my veins, burning me as I stared into his eyes.

“Who told you?” My voice was barely audible.

“Well, technically, you just told me. Nobody had to tell me, Dallas. I knew it the second I laid eyes on him. It was like staring into a mirror,” River said. “Unless your boyfriend in California is my long-lost identical twin.” River rolled his eyes.

My breathing hitched, and my stomach churned. I couldn’t deny it. I couldn’t tell him why I couldn’t come back sooner. No matter what I said, it looked like I was keeping his son from him. “I can explain–”

“It's okay, Dallas. I'm not upset,” River said hastily.

“You’re not?” I mumbled. The air escaped my lungs. How could he not be upset?

 “I don't understand why you didn't at least tell me when you got home.” The curiosity burned in his eyes.

“I was planning to tell you, but River, it's been years. I couldn't just say, hey, by the way, remember our one-night stand? Yeah, you kind of got me pregnant,” I said sarcastically.

He chuckled humorlessly.

“I'm so sorry. I just didn't think you'd even want him,” I admitted.

River looked at me with a stunned expression. “N-not want him? I mean, I wasn't exactly aiming to have a baby, but not want him? How could you possibly not want your own kid?”

“You would be surprised,” I said.

River gave me a questioning look. “Okay, you got a point. I suppose not everyone does, but Dallas, you've known me your entire life. How could you think that little of me? I know I've made some awful mistakes, but this?” he asked and shook his head.

The hurt and disappointment that clouded his eyes cracked a wall I put up around my heart to keep him out of it. “I'm sorry, you're right. The truth is, I don't even know how to tell Lyle. Lyle thought that my ex was–” I stopped not being able to look at River or finish what I was saying. The emotional roller coaster I was on was becoming too much.

We stayed in awkward silence. I gave up and made a beeline for my horse. Just as I jumped up and grabbed the reigns, River grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Look, I can't change what happened. I would still like to get to know him, though. I'll help you with him. You shouldn't have to do it alone, and I want to know him,” River pleaded.

“Okay, just um...” I trailed off, looking back toward the house, then down at River. “Just get around him, come see him, talk to him, but I don't want to just drop the truth on him,” I said sternly.

“I won't tell him right away, but I'd like to eventually. Maybe I can fix one thing, right?” River asked. He stared into my eyes and bit down on his lip. He slowly backed away from me. “See ya.”

“See ya,” I said sadly. Bullet turned around and immediately took off back toward home. The wind whipped through my hair as fast as my mind raced. River and I had a thicker history than I would like to admit. What idiot sleeps with their best friend? This idiot right here.

After I got into the house, I walked to the living room. Lyle was playing with some trucks that I bought him. Helen was reading a book and listening to her radio. Her reading glasses slipped down her nose.

“Helen, can we talk for a moment?” I asked quietly.

Helen jumped in surprise. She hadn't heard me come through the door. “Sure, hon,” Helen said. Her voice filled with concern.

Helen put the book down and followed me to the kitchen. As soon as we were in the kitchen and out of earshot of Lyle, I spun to face my aunt.

“Did you tell him?” I asked. I was sure that Helen wouldn’t do something like that, but I had to ask.

“Tell who what, dear?” she asked, confused.

“Did you tell River that Lyle was his son?” I asked.

“So, it is true?” Helen arched a brow.

I sighed. “Yes, it's true.” I shrugged.

“No, dear, but I'm sure it wasn't rocket science. Have you seen your son? He's a mirror image of his father. So, I'm guessing that means River knows?” she asked.

“He does,” I groaned. I sank onto a barstool at the kitchen island.

“Weren't you planning to tell him anyway? Surely, you wouldn’t keep something like that from him,” she paused. “How did it go?” Helen took a seat beside me.

“I was going to tell him. I wasn't expecting him to tell me he figured it out. He said he kind of figured when he saw Lyle. He's not mad at me for not telling him sooner,” I said and shrugged. “It could have gone worse.”

“Well, how could you tell him? He was in prison. Of course,” Helen murmured.

“To be honest, Helen, I didn't even think River would want anything to do with him.” Tears filled my eyes. “River was crazy, reckless, and such an ass.” I smiled a little at the memory of him five years ago. “Which is why he wound up in prison. I can remember that accident like it was yesterday, Helen. I thought I was going to die.” A shiver rolled down my spine at the memory.

Helen took a deep breath and let it go. She nodded in understanding. “Reckless, but not a bad heart,” she said confidently. “He didn't think anyone would get hurt, and you know that.”

“I do know that. That's why I don’t hold a grudge against him for it.” I shrugged as the tears fell down my cheeks. “Some people can’t forgive it, though.”

Her face scrunched up with worry. She kissed my head. "Go shower and relax honey, you're stressed." Helen rubbed my shoulder gently. “I'll put Lyle to bed when it's time.”

“Thank you,” I told her. I stood up and kissed her cheek.

Helen stared after me as I left the kitchen. Lyle paid us no attention. He was still on the living room floor, playing with his trucks.

The hot water spilled down my back. It felt good, but it didn’t relax me. The memory of the accident crept into my mind without my permission. The memory was so vivid that I crumbled to the floor of the shower.

***

We were on our way to a party in an old Dodge Charger, that was Rivers.

Tia and I were in the back seat. It was already dark out.

River was driving, and Landon was beside him.

“Come on, River, let's see what this damn thing can do,” Landon said and smirked.

River rolled his eyes. “Bro, you're just mad because this car has more balls than yours,” River teased.

I chuckled. “Are you two really going to play, whose balls are bigger?”

“No, guys, this road is curvy,” Tia said sternly. Tia slapped her boyfriend, Landon, in the chest.

“You're not scared, are you, baby?” Landon teased.

“It’s not funny, Landon!” Tia shouted. Tia noticed the corner that was ahead and sank back in her seat and covered her eyes.

 River accelerated. River took the forty miles an hour corner at eighty miles per hour.

“River stop, slow down,” I said sternly. I scooted toward the front, but he ignored me and accelerated. “Even I know when it isn't funny anymore! River, it's a thirty mile an hour corner!” I screamed.

River laughed. “Relax, legs, I got it."

“Yeah!” Landon cheered.

There was a bunch of gravel spread across the blacktop just around the corner. River swerved into the other lane in an attempt to cut the corner. A horn blared. We all looked up to see a semi.

“River!” I screamed. I threw myself back against the seat in horror.

Tia let out a blood-curdling scream beside me.

River swerved to miss the semi but couldn’t correct the car. We were airborne off the side of a cliff. Glass shattered, and screams from all four of us echoed through the car.

*** 

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks. The sounds of screaming and glass shattering echoed in my ears. I could still recall how horrible the pain was too. I rested my head against the shower wall. The water hit my face and mixed with the tears. I turned the water off and stumbled out of the shower. I wrapped a towel tightly around me. The entire situation made me angry, but I couldn't stay mad at River for what he did.

*** 

The clinic was great to work in. Everyone seemed nice. I had been working in the clinic for three days. My car was parked behind the clinic. As I reached my car, I heard my name.

“Dallas?”

I spun around to come face to face with Hunter Thompson. “Hunter?” I asked, surprised.

“I thought that was you. I heard you were back in town,” Hunter said and smiled.

“Word gets around in a small town,” I said and shrugged. I knew from experience how true that was.

Hunter chuckled and nodded in agreement. “How are you?” he asked.

“Good,” I told him. “How have you been?”

“I've been alright,” he said and shrugged. “You're a nurse?”

“Yeah, I graduated school a few months ago,” I explained.

“Wow, good for you.”

“Thanks. What do you do now?”

He rolled his eyes. “Work for my dad.”

I smiled. “There's nothing wrong with that construction, right?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I'm glad I ran into you. You want to go out and grab a coffee or something? Just to catch up.”

Ugh! Something in the way Hunter looked at me told me he didn't want to just catch up. The last thing I wanted was a boyfriend of any kind, not after what I had just run away from. However, I didn't want to be mean to him. I had already hurt him once, and I didn't want to do it twice. Hunter’s expression faltered when I didn't answer him.

“Sounds good. We should do that,” I answered quickly. I didn’t sound the least bit interested, and I knew he could tell.

He bit down on his lip. “You don't sound so sure.”

There wasn't anything wrong with Hunter. He was great. He was attractive even. It was me. I didn't feel anything towards him, and I never understood why. There was just no spark. The last time I dated a guy and had no spark, he turned out to be crazy.

Hunter had to be over six feet tall. His curly brown hair hung halfway down his forehead under his camouflage hat. His brown eyes pierced mine.

“No, really, I would like to catch up with you. It's been a long time. I'm just busy a lot with this new job, helping Helen, and my son...” I trailed off. I hoped that my having a child would turn him off.

Hunter looked surprised. “Son?”

“Maybe things don't get around as fast as I thought,” I said and chuckled.

“I didn't hear that,” Hunter said and shook his head. “His dad isn't in the picture?”

            “Well...” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to answer the question. However, I was confident that Hunter would never want to speak to me again when he found out the truth anyway.

“You don't have to answer that,” Hunter said. He noticed my hesitation and that the subject made me uncomfortable.

I smiled. “Everything is just complicated.”

“Well, I don't want to take up any more of your time,” he said softly.

“Wait.” I grabbed his arm. “I'll give you my number. We can meet up on Friday at Mama T's and have some coffee,” I offered.

“Oh, okay,” he said.

I gave him my number.

He gave me another smile—dimples formed in his cheeks.

I smiled back at him.

Hunter turned and ran back across the lot as it started to rain. He got into a newer blue Chevy truck and pulled out.

I sighed in frustration and opened my car door. I stuck the key in the ignition. It started but quickly died.

“No, no, no! Don't do this to me yet!” I yelled at the steering wheel. I tried turning it over again. It hesitated, started, and died. “Fuck!” I shouted. I threw my head back against the seat. I took several deep breaths before I tried again. It acted like it was going to start but didn't. I tried pumping the gas and nothing.

After a few more tries, I gave up and grabbed my new cell phone from my purse.

Helen’s phone rang, but there wasn’t an answer. I blew her phone up with texts, calls, but she didn't answer. I tried the house phone, but Helen didn’t pick it up either. Liz didn't answer. I refused to call Hunter. The last thing I wanted was to spend extra time with Hunter. I had one other number, but it wasn’t saved in my phone. It was a number that I had memorized for years. I never thought I would call it again, and I didn't even know if it was still hooked up.

It rang three times, and a woman answered. “Hello?”

“Hi, Bonnie. Is River around?” I squeaked.

“Um, can I ask who is calling?” Bonnie asked, confused. I could hear it in her voice. She knew it was me, but she wanted confirmation.

I sighed. “Dallas.”

“Oh my god,” Bonnie gasped. “I heard you were back. How are you, sweetheart? Happy to be home? How was Los Angeles?”

“I'm good and happy to be home. Los Angeles kind of sucked.” I felt terrible for sounding so rude, but I didn’t want to keep up a conversation. “I'd love to come to see you soon, but can I talk to River? It's urgent.” I loved Bonnie, but I didn’t want to sit and freeze to death. It was a cold night, and it started raining.

“Oh, yes, of course.” Bonnie pulled the phone away, but I could still hear her scream his name.

A giggle escaped me.

River hated it when Bonnie yelled for him like that. I could hear the irritation in his voice even though it was distant.

“What?” River huffed.

“Don’t get cranky with me, boy,” Bonnie warned. “Dallas is on the phone.”

He picked the phone up. “Dallas? What's wrong?” River asked worriedly.

“I love how I call, and you jump to the assumption that something is wrong,” I said and chuckled.

River sighed. “Am I wrong?” he challenged. I pictured River smirking and rolling his eyes.

“Um, no, not really. I'm stuck. Can you come to get me?” I asked awkwardly.

River chuckled. “Where are you?”

“The clinic.”

“Be there soon,” he said and hung up.

I sat the phone down and rested my head back against the seat.

After ten minutes, River pulled up.

My phone rang.

It was Helen.

“Nice,” I snorted. “Hello,” I answered.

“Hey, hon. I’m sorry. I'll be on my–”

“No, it's fine. River is already here,” I told her.

She went silent for a moment. “Oh, okay,” she said. I could hear the smile in her voice.

I rolled my eyes. I had to wonder if she had done that on purpose. It sounded like something she would do.

“Be there soon.” I climbed out of the car, grabbed my purse, and locked the doors.

River parked beside me. He jumped out of his truck, even though it was pouring down cold rain. He opened the truck door for me. “Are you okay?” River asked.

“Freezing my ass off,” I admitted. “Did you speed?” I accused.

River rolled his eyes. “It's cold as fuck out, and you were stuck here in a car. Of course, I sped.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the open truck door.

“You are so damn pushy,” I grumbled.

“It’s not my fault that you're a turtle,” River teased. He lifted me into the truck. The truck was tall. I had been considering making a jump for it.

River closed the door. The truck was running, and it was warm—the truck smelt just like River. River had made it to town ten minutes sooner than he should have, even though it was hard to see through the rain. 

Maybe he isn't any less reckless.

River opened the hood of my car and started checking things.

I rolled the window down. “River, don't worry about it!” I yelled over the pounding rain.

River didn't answer me, so I started to get out of the truck, but he shut the hood.