Chapter 3. I Need To Workout

           

As agreed, Helen stayed back to watch Lyle while I ran into town. It was still early, and the town was filled with traffic. People were getting their coffee from Mama T's Diner. Coffee sounded awesome, so I pulled into a parking spot.

Mama T's Diner had been around since before I was born. The lady who owned it was in her fifties. Once I got my coffee, I thanked the waitress and headed back outside. I rounded the corner.

Something hard hit me unexpectedly. I gasped and stumbled back. A hand caught my arm to steady me. I knew who he was the moment our eyes met. His blue eyes were unforgettable.

He was different. I couldn't help but look him over. He had tattoos and was at least a couple of inches taller. Last I knew, he was six feet and three inches tall. His straight black hair was cut short. The way he always had it cut. His hair hid mostly beneath his baseball cap.

Even more muscular now than the last time I saw him. His naturally tan skin was the same as I recalled. Looking at him was breathtaking in a sense.

“River,” I breathed. We stared at each other for a long moment. His touch to my arm was so hot it made my skin tingle. My heart pounded so hard against my ribs; it caused a rapid thumping in my ears.

“I'm sorry. Um...” River trailed off. River dropped his hand awkwardly. “I'll replace your coffee.”

“You don't have to­­–”

“No, I insist. I wasn't looking where I was going,” River said.

I shrugged and nodded in agreement, mostly because I really wanted that coffee. We walked back into Mama T's Diner. Only this time, it was Teresa, the woman who owned the diner, that stood at the counter.

Teresa saw us and gasped in shock. “Oh my god, Dallas and River.”

“I'm in here every morning. Don’t act so shocked, Teresa. You know your coffee is the best in town,” River teased.

We both knew she was more shocked to see us walking in together.

What an ass kisser. “Suck up,” I teased.

River smiled wickedly at me.

“Two coffees to go, please,” River said. He threw a ten down on the counter. “You can keep the change,” River added and smiled at Teresa.

Teresa smiled back. “Thanks, honey.” Teresa walked to the coffee pot that was behind the counter. “When did you get back, Dallas?” Teresa asked over her shoulder.

“Yesterday,” I answered politely. I could feel River’s eyes on me. I didn’t have to look at him to know he was staring. My stomach tightened into a knot. I kept my eyes on Teresa.

“That's great.” Teresa smiled and handed us our coffee. “You two have a good rest of your day.”

“Thanks,” River and I said simultaneously. We both turned for the door.

Like a gentleman, River opened the door for me. I couldn't help but meet his gaze as I walked past him. His tattoos were intriguing to me. I recalled him saying he wanted tattoos. One of the tattoos, in particular, caught my eye. I shivered slightly and looked away.

“Thanks for the coffee,” I said. “I'll see ya around?” I wasn’t sure why it came out like a question. Maybe some part of my brain thought I would never see him again after this.

“I hope so,” River said. River gave me a crooked smile. “Sorry about your coffee. Tell Helen that I say hi, will you?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

River pursed his lips and walked away. River climbed into a brand-new Dodge Ram 2500. It was huge and black in color. How is he driving something like that? I went to college, and I am still driving the same piece of shit I drove in high school. At least, it is trusty, though, like Uncle Arnold promised–I reminded myself.

I thought that us running into each other would have gone a lot worse–it was awkward none the less. I sighed and climbed into Aunt Helen's Dodge Ram. It was also a 2500 and newer but not too tall. I would have to jump to get into River's tall truck. I was five feet, four inches tall. Helen's truck was red with a grey interior. I put my coffee in the holder, started the truck, and drove up the main street to the feed store.

“What the hell?” I muttered.

River's truck was there.

I sighed in frustration and parked beside it. Being back here felt strange. There was so much history. I was afraid of having to face it. I climbed out of the truck, muttering to myself in irritation.

The door of the store opened and almost hit me in the face.

“What the–” River stopped when he realized it was me, and he chuckled. “Damn, that's twice today. You should have just called me for a ride,” he teased. “Do you need to go to Giddy Up today too? Because that is my next stop.” River had a bag of feed over his shoulder.

“Helen asked me to grab her some feed. I'm not going to Giddy Up,” I paused. “I was there yesterday.”

River chuckled. “S'pose you best get on with it then.”

I nodded and walked into the store to grab the feed. I lifted the bag of feed and staggered. I forgot how heavy the stuff was. “Damn, I need to work out,” I grunted.

River came in to get a few more bags and saw me struggling. “You, uh, need some help?” River asked. He bit down on his lip, trying not to laugh.

“No, Piss off,” I grunted.

River laughed and grabbed the bag from me, then grabbed one of his own.

I ran in front of him to get to the door.

River threw one bag into the back of his truck and one bag into the back of Helen’s truck.

River got all ten bags of mine and ten bags for him. He turned back to me. “You do need to work out,” River said and smirked.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered. I rolled my eyes. “We can't all be Shrek, like you, freak.”

River laughed and shook his head and walked to the driver's side of his truck. River stopped and turned back to face me.

The look in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine, as much as I hated to admit it.

“Welcome home, Dallas,” River said softly. His eyes melted into mine.

The look in his eyes left me standing there, trying to remember how to breathe.

When my lungs started to work again, and I gained back my brain activity, I crawled into the truck.

It was strange how coming home was frightening, but it fit. It fit more than California ever did. It was like a hole inside of me had been filled.

After grabbing Lyle some toys, I went down to the hospital in town to get an application, and lucky me, they were short-staffed on registered nurses. Hopefully, I would get a call soon, even if that meant I was working in just the clinic.

Aunt Helen and I unloaded the feed.

Helen laughed when she noticed me struggling. “What happened to you, girl? You used to be so tough.”

I laughed. “There isn’t any hay baling in Los Angeles, Helen.”

Helen threw her head back and laughed. “I suppose that is right.”

As we walked up the steps of the front porch, I spoke. “I saw him today.”

Helen’s steps faltered.

I made my way up the last step and turned my head back to look at her.

Helen recovered and took the last step up. “And how did that go?” she asked hesitantly.

“He spilled my coffee,” I answered. It came out casually. I wasn’t thinking about how it sounded.

Helen stared at me in confusion.

“River literally ran into me, and I dropped my cup, so he bought me a new one. He saw me at the feed store...” I trailed off thoughtfully. “I thought his dad normally does that?” I tilted my head.

Helen sighed. “If you want to know what is going on with River, I suggest you ask him yourself. I'm sure the two of you have a lot to talk about...” Helen trailed off. She gave me a knowing look.

There is no way that she could possibly know­–I thought to myself. I swallow hard. “I don't think so,” I argued. “I don't think I'm ready to go back there yet.”

“Are you angry at him?” Helen asked.

“No,” I said and shook my head. “I think I might have been at first, but not anymore.”

Helen nodded in understanding. “River was your best friend, Dallas. Losing your best friend can be... the worst kind of pain.”

Helen left me standing on the porch speechless. I knew she was right. River Storm was, in fact, my best friend all my life. If I could make amends with anyone in this town, it was him, but I didn't think Helen realized how complex those amends were. Even I knew that not all broken things could be fixed.

*** 

It was the fourth of July. Helen, Lyle, and I went into town for the festivities. There was a parade, and a fair was in town at the fairgrounds. A band was going to play later.

Lyle was excited about catching candy–it wasn’t something he ever did before. We made our way up the main street through the crowd. It was only seventy degrees today, not too hot but not chilly either. I had bought Lyle an outfit for the fourth of July.

I wasn’t wearing red, white, and blue–just a white sleeveless dress that came up mid-thigh, with four-inch heels, brown leather cowgirl boots. I had gone rummaging through my closet and found three pairs of boots that I had forgotten that I left behind and a few dresses too.

Helen took me shopping a lot, so I always had a lot of clothes. I didn't take them all to Los Angeles. I left some accessories behind like sunglasses, jewelry, and bags too. I had left behind some jeans, shirts, and shorts as well that still fit.

The wind blew my hair in different directions. I considered cutting it. It was chocolate brown and waist-length with loose but thick curls. I never dyed or highlighted my hair in my life. I was always worried if I dyed it that it would fry my hair. I hadn't cut it since before senior year of high school.

The noon whistle blew. Lyle threw his hands over his ears and looked at me in surprise.

I laughed at his reaction. “The parade is going to start!” I yelled over the loud whistle.

Lyle clapped excitedly and walked a little way in front of Helen and me to get ready to catch candy.

When the parade ended, my toddler showed me his nearly full bag of candy.

“Oh god,” I laughed.

Helen laughed too.

“Did I used to get that much?” I asked, confused.

“No, they throw out way more candy now than they used to,” Helen said and chuckled.

We took Lyle over to the fair. He got on several little kid rides.

The sun started to set, and some people cleared out. Helen saw one of her friends and went to talk to her.

Just as Lyle was getting off the merry go round, I saw Liz and Jordan.

“Liz!” I called for her.

Liz was only a few feet away with her back turned to me. Liz turned when she heard me. She smiled at me. She tapped Jordan on the shoulder and pointed in my direction.

Jordan held a boy about the age of Lyle. The boy looked identical to Jordan. Liz had a pink baby stroller.

The little girl in the stroller sat up and looked around. She looked like Liz, with blue eyes and blond curly hair. She looked to be about two years old.

“Awe,” I cooed.

“Hey!” Liz said excitedly. She embraced me, and Jordan did the same.

“It’s so good to see you guys,” I said.

“Mommy?” Lyle came up beside me.

“You got one too, huh?” Jordan said and chuckled. Jordan looked at Lyle curiously.

“Just one,” I said and laughed.

“Lyle, this is Jordan, Liz, and um­–” I realized I didn't know the names of their children.

“Oh, sorry,” Liz said. Liz pointed to her daughter first. “This is Annabelle,” she said. Liz pointed at the boy in Jordan’s arms. “This is Xavier.”

Jordan put Xavier down.

We gave the boys a ticket to get on another ride.

“Wow, you two got it evenly divided,” I said. “She looks like you.” I pointed at Liz and Annabelle. “And he looks like you,” I said. I pointed in the direction of Xavier and Jordan.

Jordan’s gaze locked with mine. “Your son looks like–”

“Hey, Jordy!” Someone yelled.

Jordan turned around, confused.

As soon as Jordan turned, I saw them. It was River, David, and Beau. I was sure it was Beau who had yelled.

River’s eyes met mine.

All three of them approached us.

I swallowed hard. My throat was suddenly dry.

“Dallas?” Beau said. He squinted at me as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

I couldn't help but give him a smirk. “Hi, Beau,” I said.

Beau pulled me into him and gave me a bear hug.

“Can't breathe!” I grunted as Beau squeezed me.

“Damn, Texas, never thought I would see you again,” Beau said. He chuckled and stepped away. Beau used to call me Texas because of my first name. “How have you been?” Beau asked. He lit a cigarette.

“Good. How about you?” I asked.

“Good, good,” Beau said. Smoke rolled out of his mouth. Beau looked back at River. “Did you know she was back?”

“I ran into her yesterday,” River said casually. River shrugged and looked anywhere but at me.

I grimaced.

Nobody commented on the awkward silence.

Aunt Helen came up behind me. “Hey, kids,” Helen said.

We all greeted her and started to talk again about how the summer was going. We talked about what was all going on tonight–until Lyle and Xavier returned.

I picked up Lyle.

Lyle yawned. “Can we go home, Mommy?”

Carefully, I kept my eyes on Lyle as I spoke. “Yeah, we can go if you're ready,” I said. I knew all of their eyes were on me, but I couldn’t return their curious glances.

Helen said goodbye.

Everyone said goodbye to Helen.

I took a deep breath. I looked up, and as I had figured, all of them were staring at me, apart from Jordan and Liz.

River knitted his eyebrows together as he stared at Lyle and me.

I gave River a small smile. “See y’all later,” I said.

They said goodbye to me, and I strode away.

Once in the truck, Helen looked at me worriedly. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I'm not sure how to even answer that. All of that was so awkward. Maybe except for Beau because he's never awkward,” I said and shrugged.

“I'll keep an eye on Lyle tonight. I want you to come back to town and have a good time. I think you need it,” Helen said.

“No, Aunt Helen, really, I don't–” I stopped. I shook my head. The truth was, I wasn’t sure how much more I could take of seeing River before one of us cracked, or maybe we would continue to ignore our issues.

“Yes, you do,” Helen said sternly.

I sighed. I couldn't argue with her. I forgot how stubborn Helen was.

When we reached the house, I went upstairs. I fixed my makeup and brushed through my tangled windblown hair. I grabbed my old black leather jacket just in case it got chilly out.

The sun had set by the time I got back to town. It was ten minutes to nine o'clock. The fairgrounds were still crowded. Everything was going until two in the morning. It had dropped ten or more degrees now that the sun was down. Thank god, I brought my jacket. I slipped my arms into it as I walked around the grounds. I saw a lot of people that I recognized.

“Dallas?”

I spun around at the sound of my name.

Liz ran to catch up to me. “Hey, you came back.”

“Helen insisted. It's sort of nice, I guess. I haven't gotten to go out in a very long time,” I said.

“Jordan's mom is babysitting tonight. We're all going to the beer tent. The band is about to start. Come with?” Liz asked, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah, let's go,” I said. I smiled happily at Liz and let her pull me in the direction of the tent.