Cole guiltily slammed the lid closed on her laptop. “Um, hi,” she said to Aiden as she stood up to greet him. “Hello, Cole. How are you?” he asked. Cole was giddy and dazed and desperately thrilled to see him, but she suddenly got self-conscious because she was staying in his apartment for the sole purpose of facilitating a prearranged sexual encounter, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to behave. “I’m happy to see you,” she managed finally. “Likewise,” he replied. OMG. Likewise? His cheat word? Cole gazed at him, speechless and mortified by a social tic. She felt like an idiot because what was she expecting? He had made his terms super clear, and she had agreed to them. It was hardly a scenario that involved him romancing her face off. “Are you settled in?” he asked. “Um, yeah. Thank you. It’s quite a place,” Cole replied. He glanced around as if his own apartment was totally unfamiliar to him. “Wh
Cole matched her fingertips to the marks he had left. “You know you can handle a little pain for a good cause. Especially when the cause is me. I think it’s hot…actually. Knowing you lost control because of me.” “That’s not a side of myself I’m proud of,” he replied. “Oh, Aiden.” She sat up and threw her arms around him. It was not entirely successful because he went all tense and stiff and elbowy, so it was a little bit like hugging a piece of modern art. “Well, it’s a side of you I’m really into. But even if it wasn’t, I’d tell you what you just told me.” He pulled out of her embrace and turned. She thought he was going to kiss her, but he just leaned in, his brow resting for a moment against hers. It was a chaste and unexpectedly tender gesture. His eyes closed, the lashes silky soft and vulnerable against his cheeks. “I’m never quite prepared for how sweet you are,” he said. “Sweet?” She repeated, somewhat disappointed. “I don’t suppose you me
Settling herself in the study, Cole opened her laptop and stared miserably at the arid desert of accomplishment that was her CV. She did her best to spruce it up. Truthfully, she hadn’t been completely idle at Oxford—if anything, her near pathological avoidance of her degree had made her pretty productive in other areas. She’d written for any paper, magazine, and doomed websperiment going. And then there’d been her celebrated stretch as editor of the Bog Sheet—indeed, upon such foundations were Pulitzers won. Ho hum. But at least it meant she had a portfolio. And that was…that was something, right? Her social media presence wasn’t bad either. Twitter could go bite a rabid baboon, but her Instagram was popular-ish, even with people who didn’t know her personally. Basically, she was probably a credible potential candidate. Apart from the bit where she had nothing to apply for because the career advisor had been right and she should have sorted this out last Oct
Aiden was back in a couple of days, probably having made, like, $100,000 an hour while Cole had flailed around trying to come up with pitches and eating a lot of Coco Pops directly from the packet. It was disconcerting because she’d never lacked for inspiration before. There’d always been something going on at college—news or gossip or drama or simply a fresh target for satire. And even at school, she’d got serious column inches out of stuff like the time Glen Lowrey got a D on his chemistry homework, set it on fire with the Bunsen burner, threw the smoldering pieces in the bin, and then the bin exploded. They went to print with the headline BIN BURNER LOWREY IN NEW ARSON SHOCK. And she’d got detention for gratuitous sensationalism. The problem was, here at the top of One Hyde Park, there was nothing. Just wealth and quiet and bulletproof glass. She mean, unless she wanted to write about being the…kept woman? Temporary fucktoy? Of a gay billionaire. Except no. Ju
Or maybe detachment wasn't the right word either. It was hard to think in the middle of the sensual onslaught to which she was subjecting herself. And probably that she was trying to think at all was a sign of some hitherto undiscussed messed-upness on her part. But she guessed she just wanted him to be more involved. She wanted pleasure to be this bottle of strawberry wine they passed between them on a summer day. She wanted it to be sparks in a plasma ball jumping from her to him and back again. And she definitely didn't want to be serviced by a beautiful bonk robot as if she was stuck in Westworld. Which was totally ungrateful of her because there was some amazing stuff going on. Her body was having a really happy time—but where was Aiden? Every time she tried to touch him back or participate in any way, he'd move her hands or reposition her with infuriating gentleness. Cole wouldn't have cared if he'd pinned her or overpowered her, come at her rough and cruel and full of threats o
Cole was blushing even more. Blushing everywhere. Heat rushed through her body like a river undammed. This was so embarrassing. Except it was an oddly sexy embarrassing—a kissing cousin of desire—because she liked…she liked that he was insisting. It meant she was right. That he did want something more from her. And that maybe he’d let her give it. “Come on, Cole,” he said, leaning down and kissing her lightly. A tease, perhaps, or invitation. Reassurance, too, of a kind. “You’re going to tell me.” Of course she was. “Give me a minute,” she grumbled. “My fantasy life happens to be rich and complex.” His mouth curled into a rare, soft-edged smile. “I would expect no less.” There was a silence. Oh shit. It was supposed to be her line. Cole cleared her throat. “I, uh—” Her throat had clogged up. She tried to swallow in a sneaky and subtle fashion and ended up making a Gollumish gulping noise. Maybe she couldn’t d
Aiden had been elusive after that. Busy, she guessed? At any rate, it turned out guests weren’t a problem, as long as she gave Bellerose enough notice to clear it with security and update Aiden’s diary so he knew she wasn’t available. She was actually super excited to see Harper. And she thought he was happy to see her, although it was slightly overshadowed by his reaction to the apartment. “Holy fuckballs,” she said, her bag slipping off her shoulder and thumping onto the floor. “When you said to meet you at Hyde Park, I assumed you were just using it as a landmark and we’d be off to some scuzzy bedsit you were renting in Peckham.” “Yeah, I’m just crashing here while my crack den is being repainted,” Cole replied. Harper turned dazedly, her eyes skidding over glass and silk and marble, much as hers had done when she first arrived. As, to be fair, they still did because she wasn’t sure how anyone ever got used to a place like this. “Seriously, Cole. How can
“What? You know you’re a good writer,” Harper said. “Maybe at university. But this is the real world now. The stakes are different.” “Not really. It’s the same pool of people if you think about it.” Huh. Cole thought. “I guess.” “Then maybe…write something?” Cole opened her mouth— “And don’t whimper about it.” “But I’m so cute when I’m whimpering.” “Save it for your billionaire.” Cole whimpered anyway. “I don’t know what to write about.” “Yeah, you’re right.” Harper gazed around the flat. “Nothing to write about here.” “I can’t…OMG. That would be a total violation of Aiden’s trust.” “I’m not suggesting you give us a blow-by-blow of your relationship. But isn’t this lifestyle magazine gold dust?” “Regular reader of those, are you?” “I went to school with half the people who show up in Milieu these days so”—she blushed—“yeah. Of course I am.” Oh my God, too adorbs. Cole just had to tease her. “And how else would you know what handbag Kate Middleton is carryi
“Hey now,” Cole protested. “He offered me money and the apartment.” “Like you were going to take it. How long was he with you? Did he know you at all?” “We were kind of in the middle of an argument at the time.” “Right. But it’s been over a week.” It had. And Cole had told herself she wasn’t hoping for anything. Except she must have been. Because now she felt silly.Ellery kicked the tree moodily. “Stop feeling sorry for him. I expect he’s feeling sorry enough for himself. Or Lancaster’s found him a new whipping girl.” “Don’t.” “Sorry.” “Did you really come all the way to Kinlochbervie to say ‘I told you so’?” “No.” She pulled her hood up and disappeared into its shadows. “I came to ask if you want to live with me.”Cole nearly fell off the swing. “Live with you?”“Yeah. Thought I should move out. Do some shit with my life or something.” “What sort of shit did you have in mind?”She kicked the tree again. And then, apparently finding
Everything hurt. The hours seemed like wild horses. Dawn broke around Cole. She spent most of the day on the sofa, crying herself out of tears, watching the sky turn tauntingly through shades of silver and gold. She tried to be brave, to be strong, to be less pathetically embarrassing. But her inner Scarlett O’Hara was AWOL—tomorrow being another day seemed like scant consolation. And while she sometimes tormented herself with idle fantasies of Aiden coming back, of sweeping her into his arms, full of sorrow and declarations of eternal devotion, she knew it wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t sure she could ever bear pain like this again. Later… later… later… Her phone bleeped. And, like a fool, she scrabbled for it, wrecked with hope and fear and hope. It was Harper: “I MOVED MY FOOT!!!!!” **** She slept and didn’t sleep, and the hours sped and sluggished by. And finally, she rang home. Hazel picked up. “What’s wrong?” she said before Cole even had a chance to speak.
Cole swayed exhaustedly where she knelt. “Well, I'm not. And I don't How many times is you going to ignore me telling you that I love you? Because I do. I really do. And you can think all these awful things about yourself if you must. But nothing—nothing, do you hear me—will make me believe them.” “You can’t love me. You don’t know me.” “You mean, because I didn’t know about this? That’s only because you lied to me about it.” He paced restlessly, up and down that pristine room. This lost creature in Aiden Crux's skin. “I didn’t lie.” “I asked you outright. In Kinlochbervie.” “No. You asked if someone had hurt me. And they haven’t.” “Oh fucking hell.” She rubbed her hands against her burning eyes. “I could have hurt you. Don’t you realize how completely fucked it feels looking back at all the times I’ve pushed you on sex stuff with no clue about what happened to you?” “Well,” he drawled, “I did warn you that I’m a cruel
Cole glanced up. “I'm not. I mean, it wasn’t fun. But I trusts you. With the worst of me, as well as the best, and all the squishy ambiguous bits in between.” “Thank you,” he said, unexpectedly grave. “I hope to always honor that trust.” “As I will for you.” He didn’t respond. “So, y’know”—Cole nudged him gently—“your turn.” It took a long time, but he did eventually speak. The words coming slowly and painfully, like razor blades from his lips. “If I tell you, you’ll know what Eleanor said about me is right. That I’m sick and twisted and I ruin everything that’s good.” “She only said that because she was angry.” He shook his head. “No, she said it because it’s true. You see, she learned who she was when she was fourteen years old.” “What happened when—wait. When your father died?” “After that. When she seduced his business partner. His best friend.” Cole genuinely had no idea what to say. To
Cole pulled off a truly Ellery-worthy eye roll. “One cigarette a month is hardly going to kill him,” she said. “Is that what he told you? And you believed him?” Natasha asked. Now that she thought about it… he did tend to reach for his cigarettes once they’d sexed. And he’d smoked after dinner. And during Star Wars. And just now in the gCole. Oh fuck. Fuuuuuck.Natasha shook her head at her. “You poor, sweet girl. You don’t know him at all, do you?” “I… I’m in love with him,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I can see why you’d believe that. Aiden can be quite dazzling when he chooses. But you don’t understand anything about who he is. Or the damage you’re doing to him.” She tried to reply, to protest, to defend herself. Defend him. Defend them. But she had nothing. Aiden had de-clawed her with his secrets. Left her powerless and alone. “You deserve better,” Natasha went on softly. “He’s using you like his cigarettes. You
“I love it when you hurt me. I love everything you do. And everything you are,” Cole said. And that was when Aiden turned and drew her into his mouth. It was the teeniest bit awkward—he even nicked her slightly with the edge of his teeth, suggesting maybe he didn’t do this all that often. He certainly hadn’t with her before. Not that she’d minded. He made her come just fine. But…wow. He could have been actively terrible and she wouldn’t have cared: Aiden Crux was sucking her pussy. No teasing. Only his tongue sliding tight round her, his mouth soft and hot and perfect.Ohfuckohfuckohfuck. She was…Aiden was… Cole turned her head into her shoulder in an effort to muffle her noises. Which were at least as loud as when he’d been torturing her nipples, and probably even less dignified. Pain was one thing. She could take pain. But she was pleasure’s bitch. Hone
His fingers closed around her through her dress and squeezed until she bucked and moaned. Some of the anguish faded from her face, the tight lines of her brow and mouth yielding to desire, and something tender she might have called hope. “Don’t move,” he whispered, as he stepped away. “Okay.” Her heart thumped as eagerly as a puppy’s tail. She loved the anticipation that came with his commands. And she loved pleasing him. Of course, her nose started itching almost immediately. But she was determined and ignored it and held still as he had told her to. Aiden circled the pillar, leaving her standing there like Andromeda. Well, Andromeda if she had a massive erection. Then he drew her hands behind her and she felt the cool brush of silk against her skin.It encircled her wrists. Pulled taut. Oh my God. His bowtie. He was bondaging her with his own bowtie. She made a noise of surprise and exciteme
He didn’t quite flinch but he got that look: the closed down, I am a million miles away from you look I knew all too well. “I’ll leave you to enjoy it.” And, with that, he…went away. Again. Cole bit down on a gasp of frustration. She wanted to kick him in the shins. He couldn’t just fix what was probably years of hurt and misunderstanding with a single, and very small, gesture. Also, the fucker had barely spent five minutes with her. But she pushed all that aside and turned her very best and sparkliest smile on Ellery. “So what happens next? Do we all die of the plague?” Ellery sneered at the room. “Mm, here’s hoping.” “Wow, that’s the last time I RSVP to an invitation from you.” “I don’t mean it.” She sighed and with the air of a small child being forced to eat Brussels sprouts added, “Thank you for coming.” “I didn’t know you played the violin.” Ellery shrugged. “I’m brilliant. When I’m not rusty.” “
“What do you look for?” Cole asked. “The thing nobody else sees,” He replied, propping his hip casually against a piece of furniture she didn’t have a name for—something ornate and impressive, probably a credenza or vitrine or whatever. “Society photography comes down to one very simple principle. Anyone can take pictures of Kate Middleton and Lady Gaga. The trick is getting a picture of Kate Middleton with Lady Gaga.” “And have you?” “Not yet. But she’s a long way from dead, and hopefully so are they.” Cole laughed. In a strange way, the woman reminded her a little bit of Aiden. The same conviction, the same merciless drive, although focused and expressed very differently. She guessed it was becoming pretty apparent she had a type.But mainly Cole was grateful. Now, when she looked across the room, she met smiles. Flashes of recognition in other people’s eyes. She knew faces and names. She could have joined some of the conversations. Instead of drifting around pathetically. Stil