CHAPTER 1

Athena's POV

I have to be constantly obsessed with something, whether it's a person, a tv show, music or a book otherwise I feel no drive to live. Honestly it keeps me going.

Today is one of those days, I feel no drive to live not that I want to die. I just don't feel any motivation to be alive.

I turned 18 today. It's something to be excited about. I woke up excited. But my mood just went from a 100 to a 5 in a space of 5 minutes.

I spent the first part of my day with my friends celebrating, and now here I am outside Nicky's beach house alone and cold wondering how everything went downhill.

I might sound insane saying this but I have in love with Nicholas since first grade when he asked me for my KitKat during recess.

I wasn't allowed to date during high school my dad being the overprotective dad that he is but that didn't stop me from having a secret relationship with Nicky.

Oh and by the way our famlies hate each other, so definately a secret relationship.

He has been my best friend basically all my life, I had my first kiss with him. He is literally perfect and that's coming from me and he just shattered my heart into a million pieces.

We never made it official or anything but we were together so I probably shouldn't even be this heartbroken. I mean did I expect him to go off to college and not meet someone?

He is Perfect obviously he would meet someone, I just wish I had listened to my head and not come to this party.

He had called me to say happy birthday earlier and invited me to a party he was having at his parents beach before we all resumed back to college next week. We're both in thesame city for college but we barely see each other, you know different schools and what not I should just have moved on and now I feel so fucking stupid.

I'm at a party in the Hamptons and I only know like 3 people here. I should probably get my friends Jess and Sarah so we can leave but I don't want to go in and see Nick and his girlfriend.

So here I am standing outside alone, letting the extremely cold beach water wash over my legs. I'm shivering it's so cold and ofcourse what I'm wearing doesn't help, I'm in a short sleeveless black dress. All dressed up with my perfectly applied eyeliner and perfectly styled hair but my heart feels like it's going to explode.

I don't want to feel anything, I go for a sip from my red party cup but I gag. I also don't like beer something I found out recently, I'm more of a fruity alcohol kind of girl kind or some tequila if I really need to get drunk.

I drop the cup on the stand and walk deeper into the water shivering, not caring about my so called well being.

"Hey." Someone calls out and I turn to see a guy. He's wearing all black and holding a wine bottle. "Are you done with this?" He asks picking up the beer cup I dropped on the sand.

I nod silently watching.

"It's 4 degrees out here, you should probably get in if you don't want to catch Hypothermia." He says again watching me as I shiver.

I look up at the house then back at him, before answering him. "Maybe that's why I'm out here." I say.

"To catch hypothermia." He says then nods. "Well now I kind of feel obliged to stay with you." He adds pouring out the contents of my beer cup unto the sand.

"You really don't want to be around me right now. I'm not very good company." I say walking back out of the water still shivering.

"What makes you think I'm also good company right now." He says as I join him on the sand finally seeing his face up close.

He's tall, so tall. He has dark eyes and dark hair and his face. I have never seen anyone look so beautiful and tortured at thesame time.

Suddenly I'm conscious of my look. I know I'm pretty, not to be vain or anything even beautiful but standing in front of this tall handsome stranger I wanted to look even better.

"So what takes you on the part of self destruction today?" He asks opening the wine bottle in his hand with a pop sound.

"What makes you think I'm self destructive?" I ask conscious again that he knows what's going on in my head.

"Self destructive people, we know each other." He says with a grin and I smile.

"You're shivering." He adds and I nod.

He drops the contents of his hands on the sand then goes off to remove his jacket leaving him in a black tee shirt. He then gives me his jacket while I watch him absentmindedly.

"Take it." He finally says.

I start to say no but he doesn't allow me speak, he puts it around my shoulder and carries his wine bottle off the floor and turns around to leave.

I don't know why or how but I follow him, we walk back to the beach house but we don't go in instead we go up the stairs on the patio and up to a room on the balcony. He sits on a couch which is overlooking the ocean while I just stand beside him, his jacket wrapped around me.

"You don't like beer." He says taking a sip directly from the wine bottle he's holding.

How long had he been watching me, I silently question myself feeling more conscious.

I don't say anything I just nod trying so hard not to stare at him but unlike me he doesn't care that he's staring because I feel his eyes everywhere.

We sit quietly for a while until he grabs a pack of cigarettes from a table inside the room.

"I see what you mean by self destructive." I finally say as he starts to lit the cigarette.

He doesn't say anything he watches me for a bit before putting the cigarette back and goes back to sitting on the couch.

I walk to where he's sitting and sit down beside him, only few inches between us. He passes me the wine bottle and I take a sip from it my lips touching where his touched.

The wine tastes amazing, exactly something I would like something fruity.

"So what sent you over the edge today." He asks his eyes straining on mine, like he knows exactly how I was feeling.

"I'd rather not talk about that," I say then look at the time on the clock on the wall. "There's atleast 2 hours before the day officially ends." I add and he looks at me weird.

"What's wrong with today?" He asks.

"It's my birthday, I just turned 18." I say.

"Happy birthday." He says. "What did you want to do today?" He adds asking.

I think about Nicky. About how all I wanted was to celebrate with him today.

"Nothing worth doing." I say and he smiles, his smile makes me smile and for the first time since I arrived at this party I don't care about Nicholas or anything I'm happy just sitting here and drinking wine with a stranger.

"What's one thing you have always wanted to do and haven't done yet?" He asks.

"I don't know." I say pretending to think.

"C'mon there's probably something." He says and I nod yes.

"I can't think of anything though." I offer, my voice a little higher than I intended. I don't know what comes over me or maybe I'm just attracted to him and probably not in my right mind but I let my hand go over his. My fingers gently caressing his long fingers.

He turns to face me, his gaze warmly tracking over me. "Come here."

I take two steps and then his strong arms draw me in close to his chest. His masculine scent washes over me as his mouth lowers to mine. He doesn't kiss me though, we're breathing the same air our lips only inches apart.

I can't think straight, my body is reacting to being so close to him in ways I didn't think it could. I don't even know him but I want him.

I want him kissing me but he doesn't, it's like he's waiting for a go ahead from me.

His breathing is low and harsh.

I lift up onto my toes which is hard, he's extremely tall. I bring my hands around to the back of his neck, threading them into his hair. His lips slowly descends on mine.

He kisses me softly once before pulling back.

I smile up at him, and lift on my toes to press my lips to his again. He kisses me slowly at first then breathlessly his kiss turns hot, his tongue seeking entrance and tangling with mine. I make a low, desperate sound in my throat, and suddenly his fingers are at the nape of my neck.

And I'm still sucking on his tongue, still making needy sounds when his hands descend on my curves, caressing over my ribs down to my hips, until I feel his palms gripping my ass which he uses to bring me closer.

He lets out a soft grunt when my pelvis rubs against the impressive bulge in his pants, and a warm shudder pulses through me at the contact. His hands stay on my ass, kneading the flesh and black lace thong I'm wearing instantly grows damp.

Is this what is feels like normally? Or am I just high on pheromones because I've kissed and made out with a guy before but it didn't feel like this or maybe I'm just insanely attracted to this stranger whose name I don't even know.

His lips break from mine and he gazes at me in wonder. One hand is still on my ass, and the other is now buried in the hair at the back of my neck.

"Was that okay?" He asks and I nod yes blushing. Why the hell am I blushing?? What is wrong with me?

"Yes it's okay." I finally answer.

I lift on my toes urging his lips back to mine once more. They're soft and he smells and tastes so good.

My trembling fingers move to the front of his tee shirt to begin wanting it off him and listening to my thoughts.

He pulls the tee shirt and then shrugs it off, dropping it to the floor. He looks even more gorgeous shirtless, he has chiselled muscles and tanned beautiful skin.

He draws the zipper of my dress down my spine with a satisfying low hiss.

I don't break our kiss to slide the dress off my shoulders, or even when it falls to the floor in a puddle around my bare feet.

He pulls back a little to look at me, I'm in a back sheer bra that cups my breast perfectly and a black thong to match.

"Fuck." He whispers breathlessly drawing me back into him.

I don't know how but we end up back on the couch with him above me kissing me.

I wrap my legs around his hips and I can feel that he's hard. His mouth moves to my neck, which he treats to warm, slow kisses and I practically melt into his arms. It feels so nice.

I palm him through his pants, I watch for his reaction. His eyes are dark and stormy and filled with want.

I reach for his belt and begin tugging it free.

His lips break from mine and he gazes at me in wonder. One hand is still on my ass, and the other is now buried in the hair at the back of my neck. "Are you sure about this?" he asks, voice thick.

I look up and nod at him. "Very much."

"Do you have a condom?" I add asking and he pauses to look at me.

"I can find one." He says the gets up and he then helps me to my feet, and standing in this position, our height difference is so much, the top of my head barely reaches his chest and I love it. I love that he's tall.

Holding my hand we leave the couch going into the bedroom, our clothes on floor.

I sit on the bed while he rummages into the bed side drawer bringing out a condom.

How did he know how to find it? He feels and looks familiar with the place, I want to ask him about it but I don't.

I really don't know care much about that, what I mostly care about is I'm about to have my first time with a stranger.

And yes my first time. I'm a virgin.

His mouth latches onto mine, and we kiss deeply for several long moments as he caresses my breasts, lighting pinching my nipples through my bra. I feel his touch as though it's between my legs instead of on my breasts, and I give a soft moan.

His lips move to my throat while his hands move down to my underwear. He shoves them down over my hips and then works one hand inside, rubbing me with soft touches that are teasing and gentle and make me hungry for more.

"Mmm ...," I moan as my pulse thrums in my veins.

His mouth leaves my neck and he straightens, watching me as he slowly sinks one thick finger inside me. "Fuck, you're so beautiful." His voice is so deep and husky. My nipples pebble at the sound of it.

I bite my lower lip. My stomach flutters everything feels so intense.

I pass him the condom and he reaches into his pants and pulls out his cock, hard and ready, and I lose my breath, watching as he rolls the condom on.

I put my hands on his chest, not sure if it's because I want to touch him or because I'm scared. I've never done this before and I'm nervous.

I pull my underwear all the way off dropping it on the floor.

"Are you sure?" He asks me again.

"I haven't never done it before." I blurt out and he pauses watching me.

"Do you want to though?" He asks again and I nod yes.

"Yes." I plead, reaching back up and caressing his chest.

He kisses my lips gently then he thrusts his hips slow and steady, he reaches down and works his cock inside me. I feel a sharp pain, feeling myself stretch as he sinks into me, going deeper and deeper.

"Oh, fuck," he gasps, his face twisted in pain as he stills. "Does it hurt?" He asks.

"It did but it's fine, you can move inside me." I say and he nods.

He breathes hard, lowering his body, my nipples brushing his chest. I shudder, savoring the feeling of his tip rubbing my spot, and without thinking, I bend my knees up more and spread my legs wider.

He kisses me, and I barely have time to adjust to him before he pulls out and thrusts back in, stretching me so good.

His lips hovering over mine, his breath warming my skin, I love the look on his face it's like I'm driving him insane.

He continues to move inside me slowly and I gasp from pleasure of him filling me in. "You're so tight, I'm about to cum." He says as he pushes in one more time and stops, his body shuddering under my hands, heavy breaths and groans fanning my ear.

"Do it." I plead and he does. He relaxes on top me instantly, his eyes on me. Watching me, studying me.

"I'm sorry you didn't." He says and I shake my head no. "It's fine." I whisper.

He pulls out of me and I feel his finger inside me, his thumb on my clit.

He spreads my legs for him—and he doesn't stop until I'm panting in pleasure and moving beneath him, rocking my hips into his hand shamelessly.

Waves of intense pleasure pulse over me, one after the other while he watches me from beneath those dark lashes, his finger moving slowly as I finish on his fingers.

It feels divine.

Literally the best feeling ever.

My phone rings from the balcony where we dropped our clothes.

"I'll go get it." He says putting on his boxers and getting up.

I use the tissue on the bedside table, cleaning myself up before I quickly put back my underwear as I wait for him.

He comes back in with our discarded clothes and my phone. I look at it and see it's Sarah calling.

"Hey S," I say answering.

"Where are you??" She asks. "I need you." She adds in a slightly worrying voice.

"Uhnmm I'm upstairs, I'm coming." I say ending the call.

"My friends." I say as I pull back my dress on.

"Right." He says with a smile.

"Uhnmm I have to go." I add already heading out the door.

I hear him follow me but I'm met with my friends outside the room dragging me with them downstairs.

We don't get to even say goodbye or even exchange names.

Losing my virginity to an unknown stranger, nice Athena really getting more self distructive. I should feel ashamed but really I'm not if anything I'm happy it happened with him.