Another VisitorThe banging on the door was just what Lolita needed to bring her back to her senses. For a minute there, she had even considered surrendering herself to her boyfriend’s brother. No, there was no consideration. She hadn’t even thought of it—she went right into it, ready for his consumption like she was his meal.She watched him now, the heaving of his cheat, the sweat that appeared at his brows and the intense way he looked at her. Her legs turned jelly. She would have stood there for ages staring at him, if the banging at the door hadn’t interrupted the mood again.Lolita moved, far away from him and far away from the mood that seemed to sizzle everywhere. She threw the floor open only to find Tessa on the porch with a little traveling bag and a full face of makeup. Her blond hair looked neat and straight, as though she’d just come out of a commercial video.“Tessa?” her eyes roved over her again. “What are you doing here?”Tessa peered closely at her but didn’t make a
Spies and JealousyIn the span of two days, Lolita soon realized all that she was jealous. She identified and recognized the unflattering feeling whenTessa continued to hit on Hayden like her life depended on it. They were literally everywhere; Tessa talking about the past relationship she had with Hayden as if it was just yesterday and not years back. Because she was so irritated and just wanted to get the question out of her chest, he’d asked:“How long ago did you date him, Tessa?”Tessa had flipped her hair back, like that was the most important question she could have asked her.“It’s been four years, give or take, but I still like everything about him.” Then she smiled at Hayden. “We were just sex partners then, but since we’ve met again and both of us are so single…”Hayden was on a business call in the living room then. He’d heard her, and so he winked at Tessa before continuing his call. Lolita was pissed. It was silly, given that she had not felt jealous before so the feelin
LUSTLolita wasn’t as annoyed as she thought she’d be. More than that, she was intrigued. Fascinated. She wanted to see, to know what it was like to be with someone like him. what amazed her even more was that Tessa had finally gotten into Hayden’s bed. As if in a trance, she tiptoed to the room. There was no light in the corridor except from the reflecting light coming from the middle parlor. It was just dark enough for Lolita to sneak in and out.“Please fuck me,” Lolita heard her plead, as loud as she could. “I can’t do this anymore—” her sentence was cut off by another loud moan.Lolita’s curiosity grew stronger. Her body shook at the thought of what she wanted to do, but her curiosity was stronger than her will to leave. Her eyes roved on the door, searching for something. There was a peephole on the door that she was sure wasn’t there before, but she didn’t have the time to examine it.“Yes,” Tessa cried. “Yes, right there!”Lolita placed her eye in the peephole in the door. She
The Guilt of LustFor the second time since his stay, Hayden slipped into her room in the early hours of the morning. The first time he did it, she was unsuspecting and was asleep with her door open. He hadn’t watched her for long—just about an hour or so. He felt like a creep watching her in her sleep, but her windows were open and the rays of the moon slipped into her room. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, and he swore he would never do it again. As a matter of fact, he told himself to take the deed to the grave. She was innocent and would not be ensnared in his traps.But Lola was different from the others. He didn’t know what he was expecting from her when she found out he was the one she met first, but he certainly didn’t expect her loyalty to run deep. It intrigued him. He wanted to know if she was just afraid or Jarrod had a strong hold on her. Whatever it was, it made the challenge even stronger.As he slipped into her room for the second time, he told himself t
Seeds of Guilt and LustLolita moved back immediately. This was going all too fast for her. She hasn’t even fully processed Hayden’s presence in her bedroom and now her boyfriend was home? What had she ever done to the universe to be put in this kind of position?Tessa gasped at the scene, but otherwise she stayed back and didn’t say a word. The tension in the air was so tight, Lolita could almost smell it. Hayden’s right hand was tucked in his pocket while he watched his brother, his gaze still ablaze with interest. It was almost as if this was a game to him, like he was happy to be caught in Lolita’s bedroom.“You’re home early,” she managed to say, even though her voice sounded crooked.“And for the right reasons too,” Jarrod retorted. “Are you hooking up with my brother?”“No, no!” she waved her hands desperately in the air. “I would never, you know that!”“You would never do that, yet I caught him touching you?”“He’s only touching my face!” She turned frantically to the other br
Oaths and Promises.Lolita lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. After Hayden’s departure, the house had been unbearably silent. Jarrod was in long calls with his mother and brother, probably discussing Hayden’s inappropriate behavior. Twice, she heard some crash in his office and she stood outside nervously, not sure of how to handle the situation.Lolita had never been directly involved in confrontational business before. She had been just the princess he expected and wanted her to be, never soiling her hands or body. It worked fine in the past because as an orphan, she had no one to turn to. She wanted to calm him down, to apologize for being so easy, but when he came out of his office hours later, he simply touched her face and smiled.“He’s gone now, but not for long. He’s promised that he would never touch you again.”And then he left to make them dinner. He was so calm and quiet as he prepared their meal, which made Lolita more anxious as the seconds passed. She looked into
Is It or Is It Not?Samantha grabbed her hands from across the table. “Girl, that’s rape. That’s sexual assault. You have to report this.”Lolita shook her head and tried to take her hand back. “I consented to it. I Said ‘Yes’ to him. I can’t report it and even if I wanted to, he’s going to use that against me.”“You agreed under duress. You felt threatened by his actions and wanted to save yourself first. I mean, think about it. He cut both of your wrists!”“A blood covenant, he said.”“That’s bullshit. Nobody does things like that anymore. I’m not sure people even did. That’s consent under duress! Come, we have to report it.”Samantha was about standing up when Lolita pulled her down. “He drove me here, Samantha, and he’s waiting for me outside, I can’t follow you to a station.”Samantha’s eyes widened. “What?”“Yeah. I’m not sure I even want to do this. It’s not that serious.”“You feel pain in your ass and now he’s stalking you?!”Lolita’s face reddened. “We’re in a public space!
IllusionsTessa sighed dramatically as they passed by a line of condoms. She massaged one pack before turning to her friends.“Do you guys know when I’ll be able to use one of these?” She asked.Samantha raised her brows. “You’re asking us when you’ll be able to use a condom?”“With Hayden, dummy! With Hayden!” She folded her arms and glared at Samantha. “Didn’t you listen when I told you that Hayden and I didn’t get to the sex part with each other?!”“You did?” Samantha glanced at Lolita and away. “I don’t think I remember you mentioning that part…?”“How would you, when you’re thinking about Lolita all day!” She grumbled. “Why would you be thinking about her? She’s perfect: she has a boyfriend and would get married soon and leave us!”Lolita bit her lips. The outburst was unnecessary, but when Tessa was like this, it was best to keep quiet. Samantha’s eyes widened in shock as she turned to Lolita.“You’re going to marry him?”Lolita coughed uncomfortably at the question. Seeing her
The End and the Beginning Lolita sat at the porch of her house, waiting. It had just rained. She liked the dewy grass that sprouted from the ground. She started to touch them, but then drew back. She didn’t want to get her hands dirty. She had been turned into a neat freak by Hayden’s influence. She waited for him now, wondering if he would show up. It was Saturday. They had agreed to visit Samantha’s cemetery together. The last time she’d gone, she had been alone with Izan. All she thought about was him. She worried that her telling him off might have affected his relationship with Samantha. It was a silly excuse, and when he showed up two days later, he made it clear that he didn’t have to see Samantha every single day. A car parked in front of her house. It was him. Lolita refrained from jumping up and running to him like some little girl. He got down from the car and ran his fingers through his hair. It was a sensational habit of his, and he looked incredibly hot while doing it.
Bed of Thorns “I have been thinking about you,” Hayden answered quietly. “Every night, every day, every minute. All I think about is you.” Their eyes locked and held. Lolita bent her head a little forward, intrigued by the soft calm of his voice. “Tell me what you think about.” “Good thoughts. Bad thoughts. Terrible thoughts. All sorts of things about you.” He paused for a minute and reached for a glass of water. “Sometimes imaginations bleed into reality. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not real.” They were wrapped in each other’s world now, the food forgotten. Lolita was lost in his eyes and he was lost in hers. “It’s different for me,” she told him. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I dream.” “What do you dream about?” “At first, it was about Jarrod.” Her voice was surprisingly strong when she mentioned his name. “I tried seeing some doctors, but the dreams would not leave. It went on for six months.” “Yeah? So what did you do next?” “I started to dream about Samanth
Bound The doorbell rang. Lolita was in the bathtub. She blinked, realizing she’d been in the tub for over an hour. The water was cold now. She slowly stepped out of it and reached for a pink robe. Her bathroom was the only clean room in the whole house. It was where she sought her solace, where she slept the most. She went to the front door and opened it, her hand stiffly removing a strand of wet hair from her face. When her vision cleared, she immediately stiffened. Lolita was taken back to a year and several months ago, to the very first time she saw Hayden alone. He was standing at the door then with a small smile on his face, just as he was now. She’d been naked back then, from head to toe. He had pointed it out to her, his eyes laughing while she rushed inside to change. Lolita’s arms circled around her body. She wasn’t naked today. She was wearing a pink robe, so why did she feel intensely embarrassed—like she’d been teleported to the past and history was repeating itself? Sh
The Trials of Lost Love Hayden stood up slowly. They stared at each other for a moment, none of them taking a move. Lolita’s eyes quickly scanned the environment, discovering that Izan was not around. Her eyes went back to him. He looked leaner than before, but still built. He’d grown out his hair; they flowed past his neck and around his shoulders. His face was clean, neat. He looked like a god standing before her, taller than she’d last imagined. He still had that oppressive aura around him, the one that made her fall to her knees for him. Lolita looked at him and all she could see was just Hayden, lost in his own mind. He regarded her as she regarded him, but he still didn’t make a move towards her. She remembered the last time she saw him, in her hospital room. He looked mad back then, as though the earth would stumble over him if she didn’t let him touch her. Lolita didn’t know what to say. The air was calm and awkward at the same time. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, so low that she
Time Heals No Wounds Lolita swirled her coffee around with her spoon. She stared into the cup, lost in the swirls of the deep brown. It had no sugar, no milk, just plain coffee. She still hated coffee, but now it was different. Now she liked the burn and the bitter taste that traveled down her throat. She sipped it slowly, savoring its taste. It reminded of everything that had happened, everything she had lost. Her thoughts scared her the most. Sometimes she lay up in her bed, staring into her ceiling and wondering if Samantha was still out there. Her brother caught her many times lying outside on the dirt, looking up at the sky. “I was waiting for Samantha,” she would say if he asked. “But she won’t come. The skies are starless tonight.” Her family was scared for her, and understandably so. When they tried to take her to meet more psychiatrists and therapists, Lolita had to incessantly beg them that she was fine. They didn’t believe her, of course so she decided to pretend for a
Farewells and Backtracks “I’m sorry,” Hayden responded quietly. “Do you want me to leave? I can leave right now.” “Yes, please.” He stood up on a shaky foot. He walked to the door, then stopped. When he looked back at her, his eyes were shimmery with tears. She’d almost forgotten how beautiful he can be. How stunning and incredibly attractive, even though he looked broken. “It’s three in the morning,” he said to her. “I don’t think it’s safe for me to leave just yet.” “For me or for you?” He was shaken by her answer. Hayden leaned on the door and watched her instead, preferring the space between them instead of just out rightly leaving. Lolita sat up slowly on the bed, her eyes on him. “Is he here?” She asked. His forehead creased at that question. “Who?” “You know who.” Hayden looked down at his feet, but before then she saw shame and fear cross his face. Lolita’s heart spiked again, alerting the machine. She glanced at it in horror, wondering if it was going to alert the b
Dreams Lolita woke up again, this time more refreshing than the others. The oxygen mask was thankfully out of her mouth. Her arm was still stiff, but at least she’d had a nice change of clothes and bandage. Her leg was on a cast above her bed, but the nurse who’d shown up the previous night promised that she’d start physical therapy as soon as possible. Lolita didn’t mind. She really didn’t need her legs; she wanted to remain in this bed for as long as possible, staring at the unstained room. She liked the emptiness it denoted. She felt seen, even if it was by an inanimate object. Her family showed up more frequently than she would have liked. Her mother sometimes slept with her and held her hands. Lolita didn’t like it. It made her hand sweaty and twitchy. She would have loved to draw it away without waking her mother, who would in turn alarm the whole hospital. She just wanted to be left alone. Samantha never showed up. She began to seek her out in her dreams, but they were so
Flowerbeds and Lilies Lolita was reliving her nightmares over and over. It sometimes started out as a fantasy dream, where she was a fairy and she was flying high above the clouds. In the middle of admiring the beautiful nature below, she would then see a large black bird rushing towards her. At first it looked like a crow, but when it grew closer it grew into a larger, terrifying bird. It was ten times bigger than her. It would grab her off the air with its claws, cutting into her arm and abdomen. She would scream in pain and try to break free, only to discover that the claws had materialized into hands, and that it belonged to Hayden, who in turn changed into Jarrod. Every single time, she would try to break free and pull herself from the abyss of pain, but all she encountered was a dull emptiness. There was nothing to pull herself into, no rope to drag her back to the light. All she knew was emptiness; dark and dull. She had begun to grow accustomed to it. Perhaps she would even
Grief and Byes Hayden woke up with a gasp, as though he’d been drowning forever and something just tugged him out from the deep end of the ocean. For a second his vision was blurry and gray. The gleaming white of the room hit him like lightning, immediately hurting his eyes. He winced and closed them back immediately, trying to relax his tense muscles. “He’s awake,” he heard someone murmur in the room. It was Rocky. Hayden reached out a hand, his fingers twisting for comfort and assurance. He needed to know he was alive and not in that bleak, dark blue he’d been in since forever. A cool, large hand touched his, squeezing it assuredly. “It’s not in my job description to coddle you, sir.” Hayden opened his eyes. It was definitely Rocky. He was standing at the side of his bed with a young, charming nurse who was obviously flirting with him. Hayden was too tired to make jest of the situation. Rocky turned to the nurse with a smile, signaling her that it was okay for her to leave. Whe