II: What a tears

"A woman was found dead in her room two hours ago. The police are trying to investigate." The female reporter's voice became a summer background. I leaned against the kitchen at home, staring at the television screen that Papa had deliberately placed at the far end of the kitchen.

The reason is because Mama likes to spend time in the kitchen when Papa is busy outside with his work, Mama likes to cook, make cakes, make snacks when she is bored. Not wanting to make Mama even more bored, Papa put another television in the kitchen. An act of love that set the standard for me when I was looking for a man.

We grew up in a Colombian mafia cartel family, but our family was far from the stereotype that people grew up with. There was no violence in our family. It probably started with the sweet gestures Papa always made to Mama. Anyone could see the love in Papa's eyes for Mama, and then that love poured out on us, their four children. Plus, being the only daughter in Papa's family, I was always pampered.

There's no patriarchal system here. The point is that everything is so sweet and harmonious. My family has always been a nice place to lean on. Because outside of this, I have some complex things I want to get out of my system.

"According to the police's explanation, the woman, Evelyn Denada, was not an ordinary woman. She was a part-time worker at the cafe. But what is surprising is that she is closely involved in the illicit cartel business in the in the city of Chihuahua, Mexico. The police will still try to further investigate the cause of her death because clues are so hard to find."

I sighed heavily. It was like a needle was pricking there when I thought of that state. A town that was once a chaotic past. Five years had passed, and I still couldn't forget anything. Now that the person who dragged me into five years of chaos is on his way to hell right now, at least my burden is a little less.

"Jazzy." Papa's voice rang out, and I straightened up. "Why are you here, Princessa? The funeral is about to start. Come on." Papa gave me his ever-sweet smile.

I smiled back and turned off the television. "I'm drinking tea, Papa." I replied, stepping towards him as I straightened the black long-sleeved dress I was wearing.

Papa put his arm around me as we walked out of the kitchen. We then walked out of the mansion to the church next to Papa's mansion. The people were in the courtyard. My three brothers and my three other cousins were surrounding grandpa's coffin, carrying it, and then loading it into Papa's black limousine.

"Papa's in this car, you follow with Mama and your other brother in other car."

I nodded, letting Papa get into the limo with my three other uncles while Mama was talking with my aunts. Kanya, one of my female cousins, approached me, her wide smile bright among the puddle of sad, mourning faces.

"I know that you're very happy right now," we walked towards the other car. Theo, my second brother, was already standing in front of the car door looking at me and Kanya in turn. "But at least you can put on a mask. We're among a lot of people. They could assume that you killed Grandpa."

She rolled her eyes. "Sí, sí, sí. Your advice is indispensable right now."

I sighed.

She slid open the passenger door and then got in. I followed behind and sat in the very back seat. It didn't take long for the car to fill up with my three brothers, my mother, and Kanya's mother. Then we went to our family cemetery.

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"God was with him on his journey to heaven,"

And the dead people in his hands would pull him and make him sting, or maybe now there were so many insects coming out of his eyes that his soul was struggling in intense itching. I would be a faithful spectator if I could see it.

"May he be given peace in his sleep."

May he be given permanent misery for what he has done in people's lives?

By my side, Mama was sobbing softly while she hugged my aunt, who was crying hard. Kenya Vargas, who had changed to Kenya Garcia, was Papa's last sister. She was Kanya's mother, who was standing next to me in her pink round hat, making her the most conspicuous among the sea of black at the cemetery.

And I was sure that her mother's cries were crocodile cries meant to reassure my grandmother, who was sitting in a wheelchair in front of the grave, flanked by Xavier and Theo. Obviously, none of her children or grandchildren were hurt by Javier Vargas's passing.

What her husband did to us was different from the love he gave to her, our grandma: Rosalie Vargas. He loved his wife so much that he had nothing left to leave to his children and grandchildren. All Javier Vargas did was monopolize us, making us his power play. No one was an exception here.

And when he died of high blood sugar and cholesterol... we were never so relieved and smiled so wide. It was a pleasant release.

The funeral closed with a prayer, and I was still standing as my first brother, Xavier, pushed Grandma's wheelchair to the car. I looked at Aaric, my twin, who walked over.

"You must be very sad." He said it was a harsh sarcasm. "I can see your tears from here."

I almost laughed at him, but I held back because there were still many people around us. "I'm really sad right now," I replied. I walked past him towards the bump in the ground and grandfather's cross tombstone. "I think we should have a drink in Los Angeles," I said to him.

Aaric stood beside me, staring at the same object. Grandfather's fresh grave. He was already buried, and this felt like a dream.

"I can't believe that it took us five years to wait for him to be buried underground."

"It should have been faster." I retorted. "It would have been in my hands if I hadn't thought about our family being torn apart."

"You've survived for five years." He put his arm around me. "I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too for resisting the urge to squeeze that trigger," I told him because he had always been the one to oppose Grandpa because he always wanted to interfere in his grandchildren's lives. For my three older siblings, he gave in because they were always able to stand up against him. I salute them, and how they refrained from exploding in front of Grandpa.

"So after we return to Los Angeles, we can celebrate at Xavier's house. He and Theo will treat us," he said.

"Deal," I replied.

We walked away from Grandpa's grave. My back ached as I imagined the angry eyes of my grandpa, who saw that none of his grandchildren were polite to him. It scares me, but now that he's dead, maybe his ghost will come to me later this night.

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