C2 - Haze of memory.

“Can you believe it? I was dumped! That bastard! Who did he think he is?! And Bi? Such a thick face!” Arianna blabbered. “How could they take me for a fool?!”

“Wait, I’m really a fool, right? I did not notice until I saw the worst… I’m so pathetic.”

Nagagawa niyang maglitanya kahit na alam niyang buhat-buhat siya sa likod nang kung sinong sumagip sa kanya kanina. She was a total mess now. But she didn’t care. Wala nga rin siyang pakialam na tila hindi mabalanse ng may buhat sa kanya ang lakad nito. 

She trusted him already that she thought even if she fell on the floor, he would tend to her. 

“I can’t believe it myself! Akala ko napakaswerte ko kasi may boyfriend ako at may best friend ako na lagi kong kasama… I made them live in my house! All this while, I’m keeping snakes unaware!” 

Arianna didn’t know what else she blabbered about. But the man was being patient with her. Kahit nang makarating sila sa isang silid, inalalayan siya nito nang magsuka siya ng wala naman. He tended to her even when she thought he was drunk himself. Lagi kasi itong napapahawak sa ulo nito tapos tila ito matutumba. 

“How could they not think of what I might feel? I trusted them,” she sobbed. “I trusted them with my life.”

“Rest now,” she heard him say as he lifted her up and took her to bed. He struggled but he was finally able to put her down.

“Nah,” she refused to let go of him, causing him to fall on top of her. Even in the spirit of alcohol, Arianna thought the world disappeared as she looked at the man in that proximity. They were too close. 

She and Dominic were never like that. Was that why he cheated on her? Kasi kahit anong pilit nito, mas may bigat pa rin sa kanya ang pangako niya sa kanyang ama to keep herself until her wedding night? 

Dominic couldn’t do it with her so he did it with Bianca? If she had given in to his temptations, would he have stayed loyal to her? 

“Dom, I think I’m ready now…” 

Unable to think of anything else but the pain that the man she was saving herself for had betrayed her, Arianna closed hers and the man’s dangerous distance with a kiss. He was taken aback at first but that was his first and last attempt to pull away.

Everything that happened next was a haze of memory for Arianna when she woke up the following morning. She was alone on a king sized bed. But with her naked body under the sheet, she was sure of one thing, she lost something precious the previous night.

Napahawak siya sa ulo niya. 

What did she just allow to happen? She also cheated on Dominic! Wala na rin siyang ipinagkaiba sa lalaki. How could she face him now and hold her chin high? Wala na. She was just like him…

Dala ng kahihiyan, she covered her face when she left the place that ruined her innocence. She hailed a cab dahil hindi siya gumamit ng sasakyan nang tumakas siya kahapon. Right, kahapon na gusto lang naman niyang pansamantalang burahin ang sakit pero natapos sa isang mas matinding pagkakamali ang lahat.

Worse, wala man lang siyang maalala sa mga nangyari nang nagdaang gabi. There were bits of vague memories, but she couldn’t make out the face of the man who took her precious first.

Not that it still mattered. Hindi naman niya maibabalik kung sakali. Isa pa, baka nga mas mabuting wala siyang maalala. It was not a good thing to remember anyway. It was shameful! Disgraceful for someone like her!

“Arianna, you’re here!” Sinalubong siya ng kanyang amang si Samuel. Hindi nakaligtas sa kanya nang mapalitan ng saya ang naunang matinding pag-aalala sa mukha nito. 

“Dad?” Confused pang react niya nang mahigpit siya nitong yakapin.

“Where did you go? We’re all worried about you. Dominic and Bianca were still looking for you.” Samuel cupped her face.

Sa mga pangalang narinig ay bigla siyang nahimasmasan. But being aware of her father’s eyes on her, she managed a neutral face.

“I met with a friend. Hindi namin namalayan ang oras. I’m sorry for making you worry, Daddy.” 

“Say sorry to your fiance. Halos baliktarin niya ang buong syudad para mahanap ka.”

Gusto niyang umismid. Did he really? Baka nga natuwa pa ito that he did not need to endure a night of pretense on their anniversary. Pero iningatan ni Arianna ang reaksyon niya at sa halip ay ngumiti sa ama. 

“I will, dad. Why are you not at work?” Pag-iiba niya ng usapan.

“My daughter is missing, how can I go to work?” 

“Who said I am? I just went out. Your daughter is a big girl, dad. You should not worry so much about me,” malambing na yumakap siya sa isang bisig ng ama. 

“Hindi ka nagpaalam kahit kina Bianca at Dominic. We all thought something happened to you.”

“About that,” nakangiti siyang tumingin dito. “I was always told to save some mystery—”

Samuel rolled his eyes. “I know, I know I told you that. But this is not what I mean.”

“Then I’m really sorry, daddy,” aniyang ginamitan na ito ng puppy eyes. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you go this time. But remember to apologize to Dominic, okay?”

Nakangiti pa ring tumango siya.  

But inside her, she was hurting. She was lying to the only family she had left. Hindi niya pa kasi kayang i-disappoint ito sa ngayon. He thought so highly of Dominic. And though alam niyang mas importante siya sa ama, ayaw niya ring mag-alala ito sa kanya. 

At the least, she must find a way to deal with Dominic and Bianca first.

Arianna thought she could handle the pain. But a few days later, she felt depressed as everything started to sink in.

She could no longer bear seeing Dominic and Bianca. She was having sudden urges to lash out at them. 

So Arianna decided to leave. Hindi nagpapaalam na bigla siyang lumabas ng bansa. She just left a note for her dad saying she’ll be away for some time.