chapter one

CLARA

Three Years Ago

I'm shaking in the corner of the room. My stepmom is yelling at me. I don't know what's going on.

"How could you bring shame to us?" she screams. "To our family?"

I'm wrapped in a blue blanket. I'm naked underneath. I don't know how I got here.

I look at Lucy. She's behind her mom. She's smiling like she did something bad.

It was her. She gave me a drink last night. Then she took me to a room when I felt sleepy.

Did she drug me?

I'm scared. I woke up next to a man. It was Lucy's boyfriend, Mike Lightwood. There were cameras everywhere.

But why? Why would Lucy do this?

SLAP!

My stepmom hits me hard. My face hurts. I'm crying.

"How dare you stand there and smear mud on our family's name, you filthy whore?" she yells.

"I-I do-don't know how it happened," I say. My lips are shaking.

I look at Lucy. "Lucy?" I want her to tell the truth. But she just stares at me.

I start crying. "I didn't do anything."

My stepmom comes closer. I'm scared she'll hit me again.

"You didn't do anything, huh?" she says. She looks so angry. "You shameless slut, you see no man to do it with but your sister's fiancé?"

"What a disgrace!"

Lucy speaks up. "Mother, I told you she always had eyes for my man, but you wouldn't believe it."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I've only met Mike three times. I never even talked to him much.

My stepmom laughs. It's not a nice laugh. "Now, the so-called daughter of the great Jenkins was caught in a one-night stand with her step-sister's fiancé. What a great headline."

My head hurts. How did this happen to me?

My stepmom grabs my hair. It hurts so much. She pulls me close to her face.

"I don't care how you're going to do it, you are marrying into the Lightwood family and cleaning up your stupid mistakes."

She pushes me down. I fall hard on the floor.

Lucy comes and squats in front of me. I hate her so much right now.

"You did this, didn't you?" I say. I'm so angry.

She smiles. "Oh dear sister, you've been of another help to me," she says. She touches my face. I want to push her hand away.

"Did you realize what you've done?" I ask. "You ruined my life, Lucy." I'm crying again.

She just smiles more. "You'll get out of it dear sister, I'm sure you've had a taste of Mike's joystick."

I can't believe she said that. "This isn't a game, Lucy. What the hell are you saying?" I yell at her.

She laughs. "I doubt you'd remember."

She stands up. "Don't worry, you'll have more of him when you get married to him," she says and walks out.

I'm left alone. I have so many questions.

Why did Lucy do this to her fiancé?

Why am I caught in the middle?

I've never felt so lost.

Present Day

I'm walking to my husband's office. I'm excited and nervous. I have a little gift for our third anniversary.

I can't wait to see his face when he learns our big news. I say hi to people as I walk by.

No one knows I'm married to Mike Lightwood, the big boss. We got married in secret.

I knock on the door. I hear Mike say, "Come in."

I walk in, feeling so happy. Mike is at his desk, working on his computer. I smile big.

"Darling," I say.

Mike looks up. He doesn't smile. "I told you to stop calling me that at work," he says. His eyes are cold.

"There's no one here," I say, looking around.

"Why are you here?" he asks. He doesn't sound happy to see me.

"Mike..." I start. I'm holding the test result behind my back. "I have great news for you."

I sit on his lap and put my arms around his neck. I kiss him, but he pushes me away.

"Clara, we can't do this," he says.

I stand up. "What's wrong?"

He sighs and gets up. He walks away from me.

"Whatever that's been going on between us has to end," he says.

I don't understand. "What do you mean?"

"Lucy is back."

My heart starts beating fast. "And?"

"Clara, I need to be honest with you. Lucy had always had a place in my heart. You know she was my first love. Now that she's back in the States, I want a divorce."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Is this a joke?

"So, after all these years I've been with you, your heart still longed for Lucy?" I say. I'm trying not to cry.

"Yes," he says.

I feel like the floor is falling away. Mike still loves Lucy, even though she hurt him. It breaks my heart.

I came here to tell him I'm pregnant. Now he wants a divorce.

I can't let this happen. Not now. Not when I'm having our baby.

"Mike... you know I love you," I say. I don't know what else to say. I start crying.

"You love me?" he laughs. It's not a nice laugh.

Mike comes closer. His eyes are so cold. "This was never supposed to be permanent. Remember, we were in a contract marriage for two years. You've even stayed too long. Our marriage was a mistake. You tricked me."

I can't believe what he's saying. "I never tricked you, Mike. I never did... There's so much you didn't know about that night."

"You think I didn't know how much trouble you were since we first met?"

I'm confused. "What do you mean?"

"You've been nothing but trouble since the beginning. Our marriage happened because you drugged me and set up that scandal with the cameras. I had to marry you to save my reputation."

His words hurt so much. I squeeze the test result in my hand. "That's not true, I-I wo-would nev-" I can't even talk right.

"Stop it, Clara. I'm tired of your lies. I should have known better than to trust someone like you," he says. His voice is so sharp.

I back up until I hit the desk. "Mike, I was set up. I never drugged you. I didn't set up any scandal. Lucy did it all. Please, you have to believe me."

"How dare you bring up Lucy's name in your lies," he says. He looks so angry.

"Please, Mike, you have to believe me," I'm crying so hard.

Mike doesn't change his mind. "I've heard enough. I've made my decision. You're fired, Clara. I don't want to see you again. Our marriage was a mistake. It's time to fix things with Lucy."

"I'm fired?" I can't believe it.

"Yes, your divorce papers and firing letter are on the desk."

"Wh-what?"

Mike turns to leave. I can't let him go. I hug him from behind.

"Mike, I'm your wife," I say. I hold him tight. "Think about it. You're being too quick. You love me, I know..."

"You are not my wife anymore," he says. He pushes me away hard. I fall to the floor. "And I never loved you."

It hurts, but I grab his leg. I can't let him go. Not after everything.

"I'm begging you for the sake of o-" I start to say, but Mike pulls his leg away. He walks out of the office.

I'm left on the floor. I feel broken. I put my hand on my stomach.

"My baby... our baby, Mike. For the sake of our baby..." I cry so hard.

I don't know how long I stay there, crying. My whole world has fallen apart.

Finally, I get up. My legs are shaking. I look at the desk. There they are. The divorce papers. The letter saying I'm fired.

I pick them up. My hands are shaking so much I can barely hold them.

I read the letter. It's so cold. Just like Mike was. It says I have to leave the building right away.

I look around the office. I've been here so many times. I thought I was welcome here. Now I have to go.

I walk to the door. My feet feel so heavy. I open it and look back one more time.

This is it. The end of my marriage. The end of my job. The end of everything I thought I had.

I walk out. People are looking at me. They can see I've been crying. I keep my head down.

I get in the elevator. As soon as the doors close, I start crying again. I can't stop.

The elevator reaches the ground floor. I have to pull myself together. I can't let everyone see me like this.

I walk out of the building. The sun is so bright. It feels wrong. How can the world look so normal when my life is falling apart?

I start walking. I don't know where I'm going. I just know I can't stay here.

My phone rings. It's Lucy. Of course it is.

I answer it. "What do you want?"

"Oh, dear sister," she says. She sounds so happy. "I heard the good news. Mike told me everything."

I want to throw my phone. I want to scream. But I don't. I just listen.

"I always knew he would come back to me," Lucy says. "You were just keeping his bed warm for me."

"Why?" I ask. My voice is shaking. "Why did you do this to me?"

Lucy laughs. "Because I could. Because it was fun. Because you were always in my way."

"I never did anything to you," I say. I'm crying again.

"You existed," Lucy says. "That was enough."

She hangs up. I stand there, holding my phone. People walk by. They don't know my world just ended.

I start walking again. I don't know where I'm going. I just know I can't go home. Not to the house I shared with Mike.

I end up in a park. I sit on a bench. I put my hand on my stomach.

"It's just you and me now, little one," I say. "I don't know what we're going to do. But I promise, I'll figure it out."

I sit there for a long time. I watch people walk by. They're all living their normal lives. I wonder if I'll ever have that again.

As the sun starts to set, I know I have to move. I can't stay here forever.

I stand up. My legs are stiff from sitting so long. I take a deep breath.

"Okay," I say to myself. "One step at a time."

I start walking. I don't know where I'm going. But I know I have to keep moving forward. For me. For my baby.

This isn't the end. It's just a new beginning. A hard one, but still a beginning.

I touch my stomach again. "We'll be okay," I whisper. "Somehow, we'll be okay."

As I walk out of the park, I make a promise to myself. I won't let Mike or Lucy win. I won't let them break me.

I'm stronger than that. I have to be. For my baby. For myself.

This is just the first chapter of my new life. It's not the one I wanted. But it's the one I have.

And I'm going to make the best of it. No matter what.