RILEY I have never been materialistic, or moved by materials, as I don’t remember owning or receiving gifts from anyone. I can also vividly remember that it was in a bid to get me a gift that my Pa ended up the way he ended up. So this overwhelming joy I feel as the pendant hang around my neck, is totally foreign to me. There is a permanent smile plastered on my face as I continuously look down to check if it’s real and not just a play out of my imagination. Beta Stephen is saying something to the crowd, I know. What he is saying, I don’t know. Is this how everybody feels on Winter nights? No wonder the happiness written all over their faces, both Young and old, as they try tone it down and concentrate on listening to Beta Stephen. I don’t blame them. I am not listening too. After getting the information from Gerald that this beautiful thing hanging around my neck is my Winter gift from Jude, my husband, I had grabbed the box, and read a deeper meaning of love and consideratio
RILEYI squint my swollen eyes to shield them from the sun as I look up at the tree’s withered branches. I cannot recall a time when it had leaves or even fruits. For as long as I remember, it has always been this dry.As dry as my life.Pa has made it a daily activity to tell me to smile. “Princesses never wear how they feel on their faces, so even if one day you forget your name, never forget to smile.” This he would say every night he returned, staggering, booze in hand.But there was no reason to.One day, I saw Pa being thrown out of the joint that he frequents for refusing to pay. Well, that was what I was told, but I knew he had no money to pay. He had bruises on his cheeks and neck as if he had been slapped multiple times and strangled.The ten-year-old me fought back tears as I dragged my stumbling Pa home. He sang out loud like he couldn’t feel an atom of pain or shame.He seemed extremely happy.Pa was my all, but a strange kind of anger grew in me that night. I kept quiet,
RileyVery many full moons pass. Many winters pass.Now I’m sixteen and bigger. I have learnt how to cook, how to embroider and stitch clothes, while working for Cassy’s Ma in her seamstress store. I own a few beds of flowers which I planted at the entrance of our house. I also learnt how to hammer in nails while assisting Pa in fixing our leaking roof.Yes, Pa no longer drinks a lot. It has been reduced from every night to three nights every moon. This happened after a night he got so drunk that I had to go pick him up from the ground and take him home. One complaint led to another, and then we got so angry and began yelling at each other. These ended in us hugging each other tightly while both crying, with Pa repeating “I’m so sorry.”So the drinking didn’t stop, but it reduced. He no longer forgets my name. Pa now goes to work on people’s farms to earn a few coins and food crops. He even talks to me.One day, he said I was pretty just like my mom. I had gone to bed that night with
“Wh…what?” I widen my eyes at him.The ‘him’ is no other than Beta Stephen, the Beta of our pack.I had been so shocked when Stefani –the daughter of couple I work for- had rushed into the space I stay in, close to the kitchen to pull me out, while whispering hastily that Beta Stephen was here to see me.Me? Was the first thought that came to my mind.Why? Was the next.The last time I got to be in the presence of any of the pack’s authority was four years ago. That is, the incidence with Pa. One that scarred me by making me a help and making me fatherless, as Pa could not and did not survive the wounds he got from the flogging.I wasn’t enthusiastic to meet another authority. But Stefani’s enthusiasm was enough for two as she succeeded in dragging me outside the house.I came face to face with a huge back. And I froze.Frozen is how I still am even after he has told his reason for being here.“Do you have a problem hearing me, or is it with your understanding?” he said rudely.Strang
RILEY “What? Why?” Stefani questions for the both of us. We had gotten to the entrance of the Alpha’s base and an angry looking Gamma had told us to hold on. It seems he had been told to man the gate, judging from his stance and the dismissive voice he had used in telling us to wait. “I…I was told to come. The Beta told me to come.” I try staring into his eyes as I say this. Well, since I’ll soon be the Luna of this pack, might as well start brushing up my nerves and guts. “I am aware of that.” The sternness on his voice didn’t reduce as he says this, staring right back into my eyes. He wins the face off. I put my face down as my nerves fail me. “So?” Stefani asks, her hand never letting go of mine. “You still won’t let us through? She’s going to be your Luna soon.” The little rays left by the setting sun makes me see him look at me, right from my head to my toes, back to my head. Then a smirk appears on his face. “Are you aw…” Stefani begins, but pauses once she
RILEY“Come in.” I hear the voice behind the door say.Jude’s voice.I have been avoiding this all night and morning. I have been avoiding going to Jude’s room as what Stefani said keeps playing in my mind.We had gotten back from the Hunt hours ago and Jude dismissed the pack, while they still in their wolf form. I guess he didn’t want to see a bunch of naked people.While Jude retired to his room, I asked for the kitchen to go prepare just the grass cutter I had caught, as the antelope Jude caught was used as prize to a man that caught the largest number of animals. In there, I stayed for more hours.This was me stalling, as there was a maid who had collected the animal and offered to prepare the meat herself in the exact way Jude would like it. But I still sat there, with the excuse that I want to learn how Jude likes his meal done. I was able to learn that the help’s name is Theresa.After everything, taking the meal to his room, I had to take multiple deep breaths before knockin
RILEYRight here.On these pile of clothes, laid at a spot far from the fire place, is where I lay for many nights.I have been avoiding Jude like a plague. I feel like when I’ll finally come face to face with him, I might melt from either embarrassment or adoration, as, of course, those words he spoke to me the other night did nothing to the new feelings I have grown for him.I had still dreamt about him that night.In the dream, I saw us in our wolf form, running together in the wild. Then the next thing I saw was me heavy with child. I had woken up with a frown, which very quickly transformed into a bright smile.I want that with Jude.I want that with my husband.But that would never happen if I continue sleeping here.So I waited for him to summon me into his room, into his bed, into his arms.Well, waiting is what I’m still doing now, as he hasn’t still sent for me.He has become so scarce, that I have only seen him once since our wedding. And that once, me being me, I had hidde
RILEYTears begins to form in my eyes from the pain I feel.It is like a thousand termites have invaded my hair and are digging into my scalp.I hesitate and his grip gets tighter. At that moment, a sad whine leaves my mouth as I feel large chunks of hair being uprooted right from its root.“I said, kneel.” His voice comes out, hasher than earlier. Now, a low groan follows it.Slowly, without even realizing it, my knees begin to fold as the get closer to the ground.Slowly.Slowly.Then my knees hit the ground.Could be the tears blurring my vision, or the pain affecting my senses, but as I look up at Jude from down here, I see nothing but pure satisfaction on his face. As he has that smile line at the right side of his mouth stretched, and an odd glint in his eyes.Reading faces and expressions to ascertain how people feel is something that I started for survival, but later on, it just became something I am could at. I can realize how person feels just by noticing the faintest line o
RILEY I have never been materialistic, or moved by materials, as I don’t remember owning or receiving gifts from anyone. I can also vividly remember that it was in a bid to get me a gift that my Pa ended up the way he ended up. So this overwhelming joy I feel as the pendant hang around my neck, is totally foreign to me. There is a permanent smile plastered on my face as I continuously look down to check if it’s real and not just a play out of my imagination. Beta Stephen is saying something to the crowd, I know. What he is saying, I don’t know. Is this how everybody feels on Winter nights? No wonder the happiness written all over their faces, both Young and old, as they try tone it down and concentrate on listening to Beta Stephen. I don’t blame them. I am not listening too. After getting the information from Gerald that this beautiful thing hanging around my neck is my Winter gift from Jude, my husband, I had grabbed the box, and read a deeper meaning of love and consideratio
RILEYMy fear continues to manifest.Three days turned into a week, with no word or sight of the love of my life.Slowly, the days have blended into one week. And one week into two.Two weeks of my boredom intensifying and leaving me with the most terrible imaginations of what could have befallen Jude. As often as it comes, I try to cleanse it with positive thoughts.But the bad thoughts won’t just go away.It has someway gotten into my dreams, so that I no longer see Jude and I in rosy, sunshine filled places, where the sun shone very bright and the wind blew very low. No. I now see myself in tight rubber jumpsuits, as a warrior. Always the same costume. And my mission in those dreams are always the same.There is no one giving me this mission, but I see myself going to rescue Jude from all manner of dangerous places.From a fire filled bottomless pit, inhabited by big scary looking dragons. From dark dry desert, where I have to combat with huge dinosaurs that had large noses. From
RILEYEver heard of the saying that what you fear, taunts you. And as it taunts you, from just your imagination, slowly, without you even realizing it, you breathe life into that fear and it becomes reality.I know this is not how it’s said, but my brain settles with understanding it this way.This happens to me.My fears have become reality.One day passed. Understandable .Two days. I’m still waiting.Now three whole days.And no sign of my husband. I have, earnestly waited for his return. Prayed that he is safe. Hoped that he has all thing under control. Wished to be in his arms every night.These, I have been doing for two full weeks.It’s been three whole days and the only place I am given the liberty to see my husband in in my dreams. In my very lengthy dreams, as all I do these days is wait and sleep.In there, he is more handsome, calmer, speak to me softly, holds me tenderly, looks into my eyes regularly and kisses me very often, in a world where only two of us exist.But in
RILEYI force a smile, trying to dispose every feeling of awkwardness I had felt when I marched into the room. Okay. The messenger had called it a meeting, but I had thought, maybe, it will be just an official kind of discussion between myself and my husband, while we share breakfast.I was wrong.The room is packed with about twenty hefty Men, the Beta and the Alpha himself. I see no sign of anyone in the same gender as me. So, it is very normal to feel awkward while stepping into such a space.But…I am Luna.So I throw my head higher while stiffening my shoulders as I walk majestically, without hurry, into the space.As I walk, my eyes scan the room. The last time I came in here, I had been so excited about having breakfast with Jude, that ignored my surroundings and paid very little attention to the glaring details of the room. There are about twenty five rows of benches occupying the far left of the room. Or should I say, hall? Just like in the space outside the Base, the Alpha
RILEY My eyes travel to where Beta Stephen stands. I am eager for response as that would determine a lot of things. From the silence, I don’t even to look at the crowd to feel the tension they feel too. I can bet, I am not alone in this. “The neighboring pack…,” He begins, but stops halfway as Jude’s voice interrupts him. “Stanley Pack?” Is that tension I hear in my Alpha’s voice? I was not even aware that we had a neighboring pack, until now. And how strong could they be to make my powerful man fret at the mention of their name? Stanley pack? What sort of name is that? Well, it is decided. I don’t like them. Don’t ask me why. “Yes. Them. As you all know, I live in very close to the silver store, so I spend most of my time guarding it. At the initial stage of being Beta, I had literally slept in front of it every night, as I was still very anxious at that time.” Beta Stephen had a strong grip on the side of his coat, which he adjusted every second. Am I the o
RILEY“All hail the Alpha.”The gravity of this shout, jolts me to instant awareness, wiping out all sleep remaining in me.Theresa had not lied about everyone being in confusion. I had gotten here a few minutes ago and the murmurs were incomprehensible, but loud. Everybody was talking to somebody, with a tight worried expression on their faces.What is going on? I had asked in my head.On noticing that no one paid attention to my arrival, I moved to my side of the Alpha platform and stood overlooking their discussions and activities.The Men wing, present. The woman wing, fully present, I even saw some familiar faces like Jill who faced about six women, probably giving them the ‘full gist’ of what had happened. Pups, very much absent.Then my husband, the man in my dreams, came to stand on the Alpha platform. And all discussions ceased.Jude raises his hand in silent response to their greetings, but where I’m standing, I can see his face through the help of the crescent hanging lonel
RILEY“What else would I do for you to reciprocate and give me your love? Hold me in your arms, in your bed? Jude, its been almost a year, and I cant even tell what your favourite food is. I have experienced loneliness almost all my life, and I walked up to you on our wedding day because your eyes spoke promises of companionship. And, oh how I craved that. If only I knew marriage would be this lonely, maybe I would have reconsidered my decision.” I fold my arms and look away from those lying eyes.We are at a garden carpeted by very green and very soft grasses. The scenery is one to live for. The sKY is so blue, and the breeze is soothing, making my hair go here and there.I don’t know how we got here, but I love it here.By we, I mean, myself and the love of my life, Jude.I am in a flower pronted yellow dress that complements the scenery, my hair, I had left flowing. I sit, arms folded, leg stretched out and crossee in an elegant stlye.I feel beautiful.I feel free.The flowers ar
RILEY“Come on in.”My cheeks spread in a big broad smile. Goose pimples engulfing my skin from both his voice and the cold air of the night. The cold air that reminds me of the cold I had endured while pouring water that Theresa had gotten me, on myself, behind the house. To get clean.Jude’s hesitation earlier had scared me. After that grumble, it had gotten so quiet in there, like my presence had brought sleep to him.I was so close to leaving.I am Luna.I twist the knob and place my barefoot on the polished wooden floor of the room, one after the other. I avoid looking at him as I turn to shut the door behind me.Without blinking, I turn and strike that pose. My right hand flies to cup the back of my head, this raises the dress higher, but I ignore it and move my left hand to perch on my hip. I can’t remember if it’s right leg forward and left leg backward. Or the other way round. So I follow my instincts.I take my right forward and place it ahead of my left leg, which I put no
RILEYOperation win my husband’s heart, activated.I borrowed a red skimpy dress from Theresa. When I say skimpy, I mean a way above my knees, almost showing my panties kind of skimpy. After putting it on, I ask to borrow her full length mirror, which she goes inside to get for me, on refusing my entry her room. As my eyes catch my reflection on the mirror, I stare at my half nakedness. It feels awkward walking about in something this short and this shiny.But…Theresa said I look ‘okay’ in it, and my brain interpreted that as I look pretty in it and of course Jude will like it. Besides, the soft blue of my eyes complements the bright redness of the dress.I sway to the left, to observe how it looks at the back. My backside has risen it higher that it is at the front.Goodness.Wait. That is a good thing.I take the hairband which I always have on my left wrist and tie my hair back into a tight ponytail, accentuating my face.You look good. I say to myself. In taking this bold step