Forty nine

CHAPTER 49

SANTIAGO

My jaw ticked in thought, deep inside of my soul a dark fear inhabiting my soul resided, it left behind a feeling that sent waves of tension round my entire body, I could feel the tension in my shoulders as it whispered with certainty the state of my mind.

It wasn't just my mind playing tricks, I had to tell myself that, there was something else in the wood right there within the space I was, the last thing on earth I wanted to happen was being mauled by a wild beast, whatever it was.

Maybe I was underestimating that the fact that the wood had that bit of aura about it that came with serenity, it could also be toxic —

When my gaze came to where I heard the twigs breaking, it stood there still for a while to be certain all of this was not in head.

The feeling had a bit of to it, almost as though I've gotten similar experiences and was reliving the moment over and over again.

Sensing that all was safe at least again for that moment, I gave one nod of my head.

"Phew." My fingers swept across my face, taking away the sweat as I could feel those butterflies in my stomach take flight, and I did the same, I resumed my light jogs.

I couldn't get over how replicated the morning was with the day I met her. The more I thought about it , the moreI told myself to get it over with, but the tingles of every unwanted feeling I was starting to sprout, from nervousness to expectation.

Now, I was out of the woods with the past incident now over me. As I approached the car I could feel the mist as it began to cool me down, as I sucked in air.

I drove back in the quiet and bliss of the morning, at that time I was most certain she'd be awake now, looking around for where I had gone.

As music played from the radio quietly, I was starting to compare the feelings I have between the two women that were in my life. For some reason I couldn't get over either of them — it was starting to seem my attraction for Martha was my punishment at the same time therapeutic.

It helped clear my mind off Glenn, yet at the same time there was this feeling of guilt it left in my soul.

Was this Karma?

Was it even fair to think that all through this while that she had touched me, I’d wished for the hand's of someone else, I had wanted it to be her Glenn.

The rest of the drive passed with nothing but thoughts in my mind, heavy thoughts that could make any man's heart frail from its mere weight.

One thing about this sex and lust or whatever Catchy phrase that came with it was once you set foot in that path —That dark, soul consuming part of reality, it is like you are cornered and couldn’t go back.

With the truth of that word occurring to me, I ran my finger's through my air before slamming them on the steering wheel.

Before her , I had never felt loved, I had

never trusted anyone enough to be right there and be with me, without wanting anything in return.

It was like a whole world of romance, love , passion, euphoria had been existing , and here I was oblivious about it, unaware until I’d stepped into it little light.

Who could have said that something so beautiful could have demons as well, I was possessed by these demons, of them.

As memories if it left me as a different man, leaving a mark on me, I knew deep down I could never remove, and a deeper, darker desire lust for more.

When I got to the Motel It turned out I was right, there she was in my shirt sipping a drink and looking out of the window.

She looked back immediately and she heard the sound of the door with a smile on her face.

"Good morning, Tiger."

"Good morning to you too." I replied..

She swayed toward where I was and I swallowed hard anticipating her. She placed a kiss on my lips, one that tasted… deceitful.

Immediately she turned I was quick to wipe my mouth with the back of my hands.

"I woke up and you were away."

"Yeah, I was out jogging."

"You should have informed me."

I sighed, the ingenious part was telling me to get out as soon as I could, it kept whispering to my ears that I should just walk away from all of this.

It left me with the small fact that I was losing my mind.

When I’d heard the woman that had replaced the memories of Glenn, it told me that it wasn't anything deep, it was doing all of these to pass the time till I got her out of my head.

She went on and on about how it was a bad idea for me to venture out on my own.

"You should have at least woken me up." She insisted.

" You should —"

"Just shut up!"

She looked perplexed as I tried to catch my breath. " Just be quiet, enough of this … " I shook my head. "This nagging."

"I am going out for a drink."

The truth was I hadn’t needed a drink but it was the only thing I could do to keep my sanity.

She was pushing at me over and over and at this moment , she had this very chance of crossing the line

I understood her attraction to me , but at this point it was toxic

I was at the pub sipping my sixth beer as the whole feeling settled with my thoughts deep in my stomach.

I was only tipsy but I made certain I never drank too much at events—

I hated to drink too much in public; but aside from loosening my tongue, to the point that I couldn't hold back word's, I figured the best would be to go home.

I stood up and wobbled out of the pub, soon I was in my car, it had been a hell of a time and the last thing I wanted was a good night's rest.

I wasn’t ready to jump headfirst into the road, so for a minute I was caught up in this situation by my neck.

As I turned on the ignition, I drove in silence.

Still there was that feeling of something dark.