Forty eight

CHAPTER 48

GLENN

Early sunrise glowed down from the morning sky as I made my way back, the night had been total madness. I was still filled with jealousy and could feel the leftover adrenaline burning off in my soul.

There are three sides to a story: Your side, the side you never know about and the last of it was history.

I was relying on the last at this moment, history — As it is, I was doomed to resume the same mistakes by trusting that somehow the past would heal itself over and over without truly learning from it.

The truth was when it came to the reality of what I felt, it was like a large mark had been left and I had to fill the space it left behind.

What made it remarkable was I was given the chance to learn from history again and again, yet I was doomed as I kept repeating it.

If there was anyone I detested for no reason it was definitely Santiago, I hated the fact he was quick to get over the thought of me, did I mean nothing to him, did he see me as a vagabond?

He had the worst reputation of any man I’d met, one moment he was exactly what I wanted and in the other he was causing me a lot of pain.

It was funny that just when I was starting to find courage and be myself around him all this was happening.

To me everything was lost as well, he wasn't the man I used to know, he would never be the same around him, not after he had kissed her and had probably made love to her .

Just as it was, I was coming down to the terms that perhaps fate never wanted us to be together.

I was tumbling back into my darkness, that abyss filled with the fake love I had for myself, the fake word's I told myself that everything would be fine, I was caught in that maze and I didn’t know how to get out.

***

Warm air brushed my skin as I stood now outside the window, cold sweat drifted through me as anxiety was evident deep in my restless blood.

I looked to see if they were awake, as I listened from a distance I could tell none of them were awake.

No, It wasn’t going to happen again. I wasn't going to let myself that there was still a bit of hope I could rely on as it was obvious they spent the night together.

I tried to pull myself out of the mode I was in, I headed closer, ignoring the itch to go in the opposite direction.

I was held there by a force beyond what I could conquer as my skin buzzed with a warm sensation, my feet paused right there bare against the cemented floor.

I stood there while my heart beat a mile a

minute, from the opposite direction a flashlight reached where I was.

"Hello?" The voice of a man caught my attention.

I turned to see the security making his way toward where I was.

" Looking for someone?" His gaze settled on me.

"I… I. " I couldn't bring myself to speak as

His gaze fell to my toes. When his gaze finally came up to me, I could tell what was in his mind as my toes dug into the earth.

We stared at each other. He was donning his uniform, a black dress— pants and top. I swallowed.

His hands reached into his pocket as he picked out a note and handed it to me.

"Now, get away." He muttered, shoving me away.

Warmth rushed to the pit of my stomach as I walked away, from deep within I could feel my breathing shallow as his gaze trailed down my body till I left his presence, his attention settled on my face, his gaze narrowing.

“Never come back here again, hobo ?”

I blinked at his rude tone and gave my head a shake, letting out a small breath in irritation.

As sweat dripped down my back and brows I looked over my shoulder and could see not just the sun starting to rise again but his figure right there at the window.

I wiped my neck with a cloth I tore off from my top, I watched as he stood still bare the window, I inhaled until my lungs burned and the feeling of anxiety spread through my veins in one relaxing rush.

In all honesty, I didn’t feel like going back home at this moment for some reasons I wanted to stay and watch his silhouette right there at the window, was he fucking her?

For some reason, I could hear the sound of his voice right there in my head, dimming my eyes and shutting out every feeling that was left in, so I walked away.

In my mind at that time, I wanted to erase everything that held his memory, I blinked my eyes when I saw the light in the room go out.

I knew all that was needed was a few hours to think, or maybe just reflect on things.

The actual truth was I wanted her, but I could tell loyalty was something he would never get from me.

Every fucking piece of her that been testing the waters earlier, every tensed feeling left me feeling tensed.

He soon started jogging, I made sure that I was totally out of view and started trailing after him.

For some reason I felt he shared the same state of mind I was having at that moment, he looked saddened.

Each time he made a stop to look behind his shoulders I was quick to hide behind a tree or anything that hid me away from him.

Afterall, what was the worst that could happen than being seen, when before me walked my biggest weakness …In the body of a man.

Without realizing it, I stepped on a twig and the sound of it filled the wood.

"Fuck." I muffled Into my palm.