Forty seven

CHAPTER 47

GLENN

They say love is a bitch when chained to a tormentor, too bad that tormentor was a man who I didn't even know cared about me or not.

What should I call this, a game?

I walked with Ann after work that day, all that filled my mind was every bit of the words she said and how she was glamoring that I'd give him another chance or at least listen to what he had to say.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I asked Ann who was sitting close to where I was. "We can always turn back and leave."

"Without seeing him?" She asked. "Are you sure —"

" I don't think I am ready to do all of this. " I shut my eyes for a minute without saying another word.

"It is your call to make." She muttered in a calm tone and as she did I could feel it all over again that remorse, the pain that came when we realized we made a mistake.

What is it about us women? We tend to feel regret for things we shouldn't.

"Fuck it, I am done let us leave." I said in a low tone.

I had to tell myself that all this was in my head, and at that moment I wished I could break free of the craziness I had in my mind—That feeling of being not enough for him, it was the same reason why I had left and definitely the same reason why I wouldn't walk into the motel.

She glanced warily out of the window before looking back at me with uncertainty, as though I was crazy and making the absurd decision.

I could see the bitterness dancing in her at what I said and felt it was undeserving of her.

To think, she didn't know me too well to decide on something like that, it was my decision after all…

These words, I said to myself as they never left my lips.

For some reason, I stared at the door and right there I could see him alight from his car, for that moment my heart skipped .

One part of me wanted to race down to where he was at flung my hands around him in deep embrace but barely had that

Insinuation resounded in my mind when I saw her —Martha.

It should have been easy to pick that woman out in the darkness, she was stained by my hatred.

I could make out the shape of them kissing in the shadows, if there was anything left at that moment in my heart for him it dissolved into the wind.

"I am so sorry, I didn't know—"

"Just take me away from here."

The car ignited as we drove out, my mind was filled with jealousy, how could he do this.

Deep in my mind, I hated the fact that he didn't kiss me that way, perhaps he wasn't even attracted to me.

All the thought of Santiago left me with an inexorable feeling, I was possessed entirely by its demon and could feel that craziness again.

I looked out of the window at the sinking sun that stood clear in the sky, I wondered if the fact that it could be full moon tonight was the same reason all these feelings were intensified.

My eyes skimmed up an inch and found her right there looking at me like she had for the past minute, the car had been filled with silence since we left the motel.

In way she was wiping a hand across her mouth in a poor attempt to hide her shock about all of this, I could tell that she wanted answers perhaps more information about everything that was happening.

She tried looking at my eyes hoping that at least it conveyed a bit of her answers, but It didn't, if I was going to show any emotions it was most definitely pain and nothing more.

Resentment crawled into my chest, creeping till it took every part of my soul.

By this time the moon was clearly visible in the sky and i was starting to feel that urge to transition, I was starting to feel my wolf rouse deep inside of me—I could feel the demon, that darkness that caused my madness.

My craziness was different and deadly, it starts off soon as the moon hits the centre of the sky and as soon as the moon rest it rays at that point, I would be consumed.

"Stop the car here." I said without looking.

The other twi occupants of the car looked at me like I had gone crazy, for me I felt the earlier the better.

"What, you can't stop here look around." Ann tries convincing me.

I was adamant about what I wanted and would do anything to get it at least for their safety, for my sanity .

"Stop the car!"

This time my voice rented through the roof of the car and pierced into the thin black air.

"Is that what you want?" Ann asked again.

"I just want to clear my head, trust me ."

She nods to the cab driver who stops the car, as she did I muttered a thank you as i alighted making my way to the edge of the wood.

Slowly, I turned around, my gaze traveling to the car where she sat still .

“If you don't see me at work by tomorrow call the cops. "

My words left a presence that felt dark as though a looming shadow, still I felt nothing compared to witnessing them kiss.

"Are you you sure?" Ann asked again to be certain.

"Yeah, just trust me." I blew a kiss in her direction.

It was infinitely more dangerous, deep inside of me— I felt the reminder of that feeling that was birthed a feeling, a feeling that that I wasn't enough.

I breathed, taking a step into the wood,. looking back one more time at her face, from the look on her face she could almost reach out and grab my hand.

Once again both feasted their eyes on me like I had gone crazy, but for me I was seeking salvation to my insanity.