chapter 1

Lilac*

Sander edge to me slowly, his lips curled into a huge smirk that sent an electrifying fright through me.

"Have you now fully understand what I want from you. Sweetheart?!"

He asked his tone laced with calmness as if he was an angel but I know better.

I turned my face away and back away from him burying my head in between my thighs.

I am already used to his animalistic behavior towards me but today, it felt so different, he's rough and cold in a strange way. What is he up to?

"Do you feel the fear?"

His musculine voice made my whole being shiver and I tremble from fright.

He had just peeled off the skin on my back with a hot rod. Is he going to do it again?

I heard him as he took a step closer to me,my hand shook with tremor and even though my burnt back hurt a lot I couldn't help but focus on the devil approaching me.

"Please....go away" I whispered.

if you truly do exist please save me just this one last time. I appeal to the goddess, I have prayed a countless time and nothing seems to change, but I kept on praying hoping that one day...just one day.

I couldn't take another round of his beating. my chest seems to be on fire, the powdered wolfspoison seems to be burning me inside out. I felt like I have been thrown into hell itself.

Sander manage to reach me despite my prayers, when did the goddess ever listen to me and why do I kept praying to her in the last seven years? even right after she disappoint me over and over again. I doubt she is real because if she were real then she's doing one hell of a bad job keeping her beloved child safe.

Sander grip my arm, his nails sunk into my flesh and roughly raised my head to look at him, pain jarred through me from my arms down to my toes and I bite my lips so not to wince as I know crying out in pain meant more punches in my stomach.

"Answer me! Unless you want me to torture you again,"

I glared resentfully at the man who had made my life a living hell but I couldn't utter a word to him. I had learnt that talking back at him would only earn me more torture and pain.

There was a time I talk back and he would beat and torture me to pulp and through out that week I would be stuck in bed, half dead and half alive, I had scar all over my body including my face which he had told my personal servant to always cover it up with makeup.

Not that he care but he just doesn't want the pack to know what an asshole he is to his Luna. A big stinky one!

Sander grin in response to my glare, i knew he enjoyed torturing me.

"Who sent this to you?

He raised a roughly torn package which was supposed to be wrapped, a transparent bottle with white long fat pills fall out of the wrap. It the contraceptive I secretly order for every weekend.

My heart suddenly stopped beating, I didn't know that was the reason he leap at me and burnt me like I was some piece of meat.

My heart began pounding so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest.

"I~don't want it. not now" the fact that I was afraid he would start punching me again didn't stop me from voicing out my mind, I can never get pregnant for this bastard. No, not while am alive.

"Lilac...What did I hear you say? He asked in an eerie tone. He tighten his grip on my arm and I felt hot liquids tripping down. It hurt like hell.

"I said I'm not ready to bear you children," I held my stance, it's might seem like I have already signed my death sentence but that's not entirely truth as at this point I don't care if he winds up killing me today, no child of mine would have a woman torturer as a father.

Sander suddenly pull me towards the table and slammed my head on it, I saw myself fluting in space, for a split of second everywhere darken and a ringing sound resounded in my ears.

Fuck Lilac. That hurt.

"You have no say in it. you are my Luna and all you do is to obey, I need children and it's your sole responsibility!"

I smirked in my head, I didn't ask to be here in the first place, I was not given a chance to make my own choices.

Tears suddenly rush down my face, I wince clearly in pain and frustration, I was exhausted and sick of everything, for how long do I have to live this penury of life?

Sander rushed to me and wrapped his arm around me in a consoling way, instead of feeling safe in his arms as normal mate do, I feel rage boiling in me and then there's fright of getting hit if I shove him off.

"You know darling, I hate hitting you, it's just that I lost control of my anger, you're taking these horrible pills without telling me hurt me," he whispered into my ears and I felt like a bug was crawling into my back making me shiver.

He exhale deeply and I thought he was going to walk out.

"You know I love you, that's why I have to punish you when you do something wrong" he added.

I felt irritated, he is delusional.

"Dress up and I will have Tamora flush out those things in your system, I really want us to have our own bundle of love" he said gently but all I heard is an evil bastard whining in my ears.

I will have his children in my grave.

After some minutes of romance that disgusted me to my very core.

I didn't not bother to meet his gaze till I hear him leave.

I was scared about the pack witch coming to flush my system, I do not want to get pregnant and get trapped here forever.

Sander forcefully took me seven years ago, he did this only because he wanted to gain more power and respect from the pack as my father was one of the important figure in the pack, we were known as the silver wolf, a type of lycan who were thought to be extinct, how he found us was still a mystery to me, he threatened my dad into giving me to him knowing fully well I was my dad only weak point.

Sander forced his mark on me the very night he took me away from my father and hence I became his slave, he would touch me any how and anywhere and torture me if I dare refuse him.

When we get prominent visitors he would display me like a golden medal, he love showing me off. I will force a cheerful glee even with a peel skin and scars which was covered with heavy make-ups.

But conceiving a child for this thoughtless prick is something I would never condescend to. And I won't sit around to wait I had to leave, now, Before he comes back.

I made a rope with my bed spread and test them if they were strong.

Sander never allow me to leave the room unless with his bodyguards around me.

After tying the rope to the window and making sure it was ready, i began to climb down using the wall as ladder.

My heart was under my feet as I descended carefully. If Sander caught me, I don't even want to think of the dreadful things he would do to me. He profess his love to me but I knew he insane because that's not how you treat someone you love.

I felt my feet on the ground and happiness wash over me, I made it and I should be free in some minutes.

I turn to dash out but my ocean blue eyes meet his deep gray eyes.

He had a full blown wining expression and a taunting grin, what shock me to the core was the words he uttered next.

"Heading somewhere, my love?"