2: An Overdued Apology

Contrarily, if there was someone she truly longed to see again from high school, it was also this man sitting beside her, Noah Sullivan.

How to put it? Mmm... He was a very conflicted existence to her.

He represented the complex blend of emotions for her.

He was her first love and you know what they say about first love? No matter how far you run from it, a shadow of it always follows you and lives within you. First love leaves an indelible mark. Vivienne couldn't have agreed more with those sentiments. Noah occupied a special corner of her heart and despite her attempts to deny it, she couldn't ignore the influence he had on her. She couldn't just ignore what this special person had brought to her life and how it changed her life.

With how her heart was beating erratically at the moment, at just the sight of him, she was certain that her heart still had a place for him. Despite her years of denial, at this moment, she couldn't deceive herself. It was impossible to lie about something so glaringly obvious. She was just fooling herself all this time.

"I am not entirely sure if 'pleasure' is the word for it," started Noah leisurely as his eyes were trained on her face intently. "You seem rather taken aback by my presence."

Vivienne closed her eyes briefly to compose her emotions and got a hold of her expressions too as she replied, "I simply didn't anticipate running into you here. That's all."

"Is that so?" he inquired, leaning in closer, creating a subtle but palpable proximity between them.

Vivienne felt her breath hitch with his face so close to her. It was another kind of stimulation that she didn't expect. She even forgot to breathe for so long that her cheeks started burning. It was fortunate that he couldn't tell her inner turmoil.

"Or perhaps you were secretly hoping to avoid bumping into me?" he pressed on, his tone probing and curious.

Vivienne couldn't fathom why Noah was being so persistent about this so she took a deep breath and mentally chided herself to wake up and stop making a fool of herself right now. She faced him squarely and held his intense gaze head-on. "There is no such thing. I genuinely didn't expect to see you here. But that doesn't imply I was hoping to avoid you."

Noah believed her words. He had to. How could he not when her eyes looked as sincere as ever? So, he allowed a small smile to grace his life and settled back into his chair. "That's good to hear. I was worried that you'd hate me to the point of not wanting to ever see me again."

Vivienne frowned a little at his remark. She didn't understand why he would have such thoughts of self-doubt. That uncertainty in his voice was something Vivienne had never seen or heard before. In her memory, he was always like the sun. He would always be shining brightly and he'd always be bringing warmth to her heart to dispel the coldness that resided within her. 

"I don't hate you," she blurted out subconsciously.

He seemed to be taken aback a little by her spontaneous confession. And when she registered what she just said, she felt like smacking herself for having no control over her stupid mouth. Why did she say that? Couldn't she think before speaking? But she couldn't blame herself entirely either. Her brain often malfunctioned in his presence and she'd end up saying things involuntarily. This long-lost habit was just kicking in once she met him again. How not very surprising!

"Really?" he asked, a glimmer of anticipation shining in his eyes.

Vivienne nibbled on her lower lip, her gaze flickering downward before she spoke softly, "It's true. I don't hate you. I never have. There is simply no reason for it."

Noah didn't know why those words hit straight to his heart and made him feel relaxed. Actually, even if she hated him, he wouldn't be able to fault her for it. After all, considering their history together, he was the one in the wrong back then and he was indeed the one who hurt her too. But still, she said she had no reason to hate him. As if there was no grudge between the two of them. Noah thought she'd be a little calculative now but it seemed, she was exactly as he remembered. 

Or maybe, after all these years, it didn't really matter what he did to her since she moved on and felt that the rejection from a proud and conceited teenager held no big meaning in her life so she found it utterly beneath herself to even despise him. He didn't know where these pessimistic thoughts came from but they seemed strangely plausible, causing a pang in his heart.

Maintaining his façade, he continued, "In fact, I was hoping to run into you here."

"Huh?" Vivienne was dumbfounded by his admission, not expecting him to be anticipating their encounter.

"Don't look so surprised, I have been waiting for this moment," he confessed with a solemn expression. "From the moment I knew that Angie was the bride, I had a faint expectation that you'd be invited to the wedding. After all, you girls were pretty close to each other. As for why I was expecting you to be here... It's because I had something I wanted to say to you."

"What is it?" she asked as her curiosity piqued.

"Vivienne, I know it's late but I want to tell you, I am sorry!"

Vivienne's heart shuddered when she heard that apology. That was the last thing she was expecting from him. No, she never even sought an apology from him. Why was he saying this to her?

"Why?" her voice was barely a whisper but he heard it since they were sitting so close to each other.

"This apology is long overdue," he admitted, his tone a bit remorseful. "I behaved terribly towards you in the past. I was being very rude to you back then. I shouldn't have trampled on your sincere feelings just because of my pride and ego. I should have been nicer... maybe a little kind too and I realized that much later in my life. It wasn't until I experienced the pain of having my own feelings disregarded that I understood the hurt I caused you. You were the first person who came to my mind at that moment. And I knew that I owed you an apology for that."

Vivienne felt something welling up inside her heart which she couldn't describe in words. Her focus wasn't on his apology at all. It was the sorrow and regret hidden behind those words which she could see clearly through his eyes since his eyes had always been able to speak the truth to her.