CHAPTER 4

Eric's POV

After the marriage ceremony was completed, I saw Angela going to Erish's bedroom. 

Seeing her going into his room, I somehow feel anger in my heart. I felt jealous. But I can't show my frustration to her. Because this is all my fault. 

From the beginning, I know that she is in love with Erish, not me. But still, I married her in place of Erish and now even though I married her, the one she thought and known as her husband is Erish, not me. 

Only reckoning that I can feel a sharp pain through my heart. I really don't know how I should feel about this marriage. 

I married my love, my Angela, But there is no happiness in my heart at all. I just feel a burden. I just feel like I'm a criminal who cheated her with her marriage. 

What a disgusting night today! 

Today is our first night. My first night with Angela but I don't have the right to touch her. And all she is waiting for in the room is Erish, not for me. 

These are all things making my heart suffer more.

I'm just feeling like a joke who can't laugh in his own lines. 

Right now I just feel frustrated and helpless. I don't know how I should react to this circumstance anymore. But I could not change this situation. I can not do anything. Because this is what I chose for me and all I did was cheat on her. Cheat her, with my so-called Erish identity.

I know she is waiting for me as Erish is in his room but I don't have the courage to face her again. I already used all my strength to marry her. But I can not go further from this.

After making this decision, I rushed to the bar room and started drinking non-stop. Without caring about anything. Not even my marriage night. 

I just wanted to drink until I passed out. I want to remove all the memories of today and make myself feel less guilty. But what surprised me was that even after drinking many bottles, I still remember all the things. I remember her appearance, I remember her gentle smile, I remember how she looked at me, I remember how she reacted when I kissed her forehead. Everything is just crystal clear in my memory.

After tasting many bottles, I don't know how many hours passed. But realizing it's already midnight, I guessed Angela should be already asleep. So, finally I decided to go back to our room. But when I opened the door, I saw Angela was already standing in front of me. 

When I came inside, she asked me gently if I was drunk.

Hearing her sweet voice, I just thought in my heart. It would be good if I could hear her sweet voice like this for my whole life. 

Just thinking about that made my heart feel warm. Hearing no answer from me she again inquired coming in front of me. and this time I finally noticed what she was wearing.

She changed her bridal dress and wore a red nightgown which is too short and a little visible. I can see her sexy lingerie from above her gown. Her cleavage is half exposed and her dress barely covers her full hips. Her sexy curves could be seen very clearly.

Seeing her appearance, l lightly blushed and my body immediately reacted toward her. I don't want this now. This is too dangerous for her to wear something like this in front of me. I don't want to touch her until I tell her the truth and she accepts me.

A few hours ago I made the decision not to touch her but now I think I made the decision to be impulsive. Only her appearance is enough to make my little member aroused. I was just thinking all this in my mind when my eyes met her gentle eyes which were looking at me innocently and waiting for my answer. It feels like she already realized that I was watching her without taking my eyes off her and this made her feel somehow shy. Her cheeks have already become deep red only from my staring at her.

But I did not utter any words at all and seeing me silent, she came towards me closer and said something in her sweet tone. But I could not understand a single word she said because of my intoxication. I just kept looking at her shaking lips. I was already aroused by her appearance and now closely looked at her cute face and cherry lips for a long time.

I was just lost in words and the next moment I just thought of grabbing her in my arms and kissing her strawberry lips wildly. I want to taste her sweet lips. Her whole appearance just made my thoughts blur. 

One second ago I didn't want to touch her but now I want her for myself. I want her in my bed. I want to press her body under me. My all desires, imagination gets wild and wild with every second. It feels like I want to taste her every bit.

But I controlled my inner thoughts and scolded myself. No ! What I'm thinking! This is all wrong. I can't do this to her. I don't want to feel more guilty now. 

After making my thoughts clear, I just turned back to the door. But before I could make any move, she grabbed my hand and stopped me. I turned back to look at her.

"Where are you going, Erish? " She asked me with a confused face.

I don't know what to answer, so I just said " I just remembered some important work, so you should just sleep, it's already night." I explain in one breath.

However, hearing me, she became upset and mumbled in an upsetting tone "But Erish this is our first night."

After completing her sentence, she felt silent but her eyes became moist with tears.

When I saw her crying my heartfelt pain and suffering. I feel somehow helpless at this time. I don't want to make her sad on her first night. And finally, I lost my mind when I saw her tears start rolling down her cheeks. Seeing that, my chest tightened and without thinking more, I just hugged her tightly in my arms.