Chapter 5

...Don't worry. 

...I'm in control.

...I'll tame this beast.

Yan ang mga salitang pilit kong sinasabi sa mga oras na ito habang nakatingin ang mga mata ko sa taas ng kisame. 

Hawak-hawak ko ang buhok niya habang nakabaon ang ulo niya sa leeg ko.

Ang ingay ng puso ko. Kinakabahan ba ako? Alam kong ganito ang mangyayari kapag inakit mo ang isang lalaki pero bakit parang na overwhelm ako. 

He's too wild. 

Naramdaman ko ang mga labi niya na dumadapo sa leeg ko. He bit me with his lip here and there. Hindi ko mapigilang igalaw ang bewang ko sa bawat halik niya.

Ngayon ko lang nalaman, napakasensitive ko pala. 

I'm feeling hot in my chest. Feeling ko rin nag-iinit na ang mga pisngi at tenga ko. 

This is crazy!

I felt something sharp plunging at my neck.

Kinagat niya na pala ako sa leeg.

…ahhh.

Ganito pala ang pakiramdam.

Yun ang pinaka-una akong naramdaman.

Bakit nga ba nangyari ito?

Sa sobrang bilis ng pangyayari, tila naiwan ata yung utak ko.

Binalikan ko ang mga pangyayari.

Naalala kong plano ko lahat ng ito. 

Nakita ko siya, ang taong hinahanap ko. Ang taong nagngangalang John Smith. 

Nakita ko ang kakayahan niya at nabighani ako rito. Agad kong ginawa ang plano ko. Niyaya ko siya para sa isang appointment sa dahilan na kukunin ko siya bilang bagong talent sa isang project and have a dinner with him para pag-usapan ang contract na ibibigay ko sa kanya.

Inaasahan ko naman na tatanggapin niya agad ito dahil sino ba naman ang may kayang makatanggi sa isang tulad ko diba? Look at me. I'm that irresistable and I'm a Frey at that. No one's going to dare reject someone as gogeous as me.

Dinala ko siya sa isang room.

Ako ang naglock ng pinto at dahan-dahan na lumapit sa kanya. 

I know what I'm doing. Yula told me how to do this. I know I can.

Men are simple predators sabi ni Yula. Show them even just a little motive and then their instincts will follow. 

Kaya sinimulan ko na ang pag-akit sa kanya.

I slowly remove my clothes just enough to tease his imagination. I made sure he was definitely looking at my every move.

Nang makita ko ang mga titig niya, I know my poison is working already. I won't let this chance slip by. I'll keep on attacking from here on out.

I'm kind of getting into it. 

Sa totoo lang ay wala akong pakialam sa background niya. Wala din akong pakialam kung hindi siya ang hinahanap ng puso ko. I just wanted to use this guy for my own sake.

That’s why I have to do this.

I’m a Frey.

I need to make sure our company stays alive no matter what.

Yun ang pangako ko kay mom.

Even if I have to give up my own happiness. 

No.

That's not right. 

This will be my new happiness. 

Kaya makakaya ko. I will give everything that I have to this person.

Pero bakit? Why are you looking at me like that?

Nagulat ako. Tumigil siya sa paghalik sa akin at pagkagat ng leeg ko. Tiningnan niya ako nang may mga matang nasasaktan.

“I can’t do this after all…” Sabi niya.

What? Bakit? Hindi ba niya nagugustuhan ang ginagawa niya? May nakita ba siyang hindi ka aya-aya sa katawan ko?

“Hindi ba ako kaakit-akit?” Tanong ko sa kanya.

“No, stop saying that. It’s not that.” Sagot niya habang saglit na umiwas sa tingin ko.

Hindi ko alam bakit nangyayari ito. Lahat ng lalakeng nakapaligid sa akin, lahat sila gustong gusto makuha ako pero itong taong nasa harap ko ay nagdadalawang isip. Hindi ba niya nakikita? I’m literally half naked here.

"I'm sorry..." Mahina niyang sabi.. 

Nakatingin siya habang nakapatong sa akin. 

Hindi ko inaasahan na ito ang sasabihin niya. Hindi niya alam ang pinagdadaanan ko. Hindi niya alam bakit ko ito ginagawa. Hindi niya rin alam ang sacrifices ko. 

Bakit?

Nagulat ako sa sunod niyang ginawa. 

"This is wrong." Sabi niya habang nilalapit ang kanan niyang kamay sa gilid ng kaliwang mata ko. 

Wrong? What of it? I don't get it. 

Why?

Hindi ko napansin tumutulo na pala luha ko.

Bakit? 

I already resolved myself into this. I have to do this. I should be happy that I found the person I'm looking for. Anong meron sa mga luhang ito? This is not supposed to happen.

Agad akong gumalaw at siya naman ay umalis sa kinauupuan niya. Tinakpan ko ang sarili ko. Nakatalikod akong nakaupo sa gilid ng kama habang siya naman ay tahimik na nasa kabila.

Malaki ang kwarto pero dinig ko ang bawat paghinga niya. 

...Paano na 'to ngayon? Paano na ang mga plano ko? Kailangan ko siyang mapapayag na maging asawa ko at maging CEO ng kumpanya. I can't have him leave after all of this.

Ito ang mga salitang tumatakbo sa isip ko. Nabasag ang katahimikan ng sinimulan niyang magsalita.

"Hindi ko alam bakit inaakit mo ako o ano, pero, wait, in the first place, bakit ako?" Tanong niya.

Sumilip ako sa side niya at nagtagpo ang mga mata namin.

"Sorry for what I did. Muntik na akong mawala sa sarili." Sabi niya. 

Hindi ako nakasagot. Napatingin ako sa sahig ng hindi ko namamalayan. 

"Bakit ka nagsosorry? It's not your fault. Ako ang nagdala sayo dito." Sabi ko.

"Bakit ka tumigil? May problema ba?" Agad akong nagtanong.

Nahiga siya sa gilid ng kama at napaisip habang nakatingin sa kisame.

"I don't know. Honestly, it felt like I'm forcing myself. It's like I'm a wolf and someone just gave me a rabbit right in front of me." Sabi niya.

Napahinto siya sa explanation niya. Nahalata niya ata na I'm weirded out by his analogy pero pinagpatuloy niya.

"You know how wolves usually hunt to survive, right? Whatever they come across, as long as it is food, they will hunt it." Bumangon siya sa pagkakahiga para i-illaborate ang point niya.

"I was like that earlier. I saw an opportunity and I just grab it without thinking. Pero sumagi sa isip ko, I'm not a wolf at lalong hindi ka rabbit." Huminto siya ng saglit at tumingin sa lugar ko.

"You must've got reasons for doing this, right? I mean, you're not really into me, didn't you?" Tanong niya.

"Wala." Agad kong sagot na nagpabagsak sa jawline niya.

"What? So wala kang feelings sa akin?" He queried.

"Wala, not even a little." I answered while nodding my head from left to right.

Hindi ako nagsisinungaling nang sinabi ko ito. I have no time for that. I only have one goal in my mind and that is to find someone capable of running the company and be his wife to ensure that my mom's legacy will continue.

"Bakit mo pala ako inatake, I mean ginawa ito?" Sabi niya.

Nagbibiro ba siya? I felt something strike a nerve in my temple. This boy is getting ahead of himself. Hindi porket ginawa ko 'to ay dapat gwapong gwapo ka na sa sarili mo.

"Hoy! Kung iniisip mo na baliw na baliw ako sayo, pwes, nagkakamali ka." Bigla akong napasigaw sabay tapon ng unan sa mukha niya. Hindi siya napakagprepare sa attack ko kaya buong mukha niyang sinalo ang unan na tinapon ko. 

"I just..." Bigla akong nanahimik.

How can I say this that would not seem weird? Okay, here goes nothing...

"Gusto kong magkaroon ng baby sayo." Agad akong nagtakip ng unan sa mukha ko.

W-Wait. What am I saying? I literally turn my face away as soon as I blurted that out. I can't believe I said something so vulgar. What am I thinking?

"You, what?" Ang laki ng question mark sa mukha niya.

Actually, I was already anticipating na ganito ang magiging reaction niya. I'm not that surprised but what actually surprises me is that I actually said that thing. 

Am I getting red? Feeling ko ang init bigla ng mga pisngi ko. Sumikip din dibdib ko at tila hindi nako makasagot sa tanong niya.

"Forget what I just said." Sabi ko na may pagpipilit habang sinisilip ang reaction niya mula sa unan na hawak ko.

"Easy for you to say. Baby? Tama ba narinig ko?" Agad niyang tanong.

Oh! My goodness! Can't he take a moment to read the mood? I'm getting flustered here.

"You wouldn't understand." Sagot ko habang kumuha ulit ng unan.

"Hello, we're alone right now. I mean, we have all the time in the world. So, yeah, I'm all ears." Sabi niya.

Napabugtong hininga ako. 

Should I tell this guy? What if he changes his mind? What if he finds me weird? Tutulungan niya pa rin ba ako? Hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon pa ako ng next chance kapang pinakawalan ko pa ito. Hindi ko rin alam kung makakahanap pa ako ng tulad niya. 

Binaba ko na ang unan na nakatakip sa mukha ko. 

Huminga ng malalim, Anastasia Frey. I'll make things word out.

"Okay." Sagot ko.

Sinimulan ko na ang pagkwento at sinimulan ko ito sa pamamagitan ng isang tanong. 

"John Smith, you know what CEO is, right?" Sabi ko habang inaayos ang damit ko. Muntik na akong humarap sa kanya na naka-open pa pala ang blouse ko. 

"Chief Executive Officer. It's the highest-ranking person in a company and the one responsible for all managerial decisions. I guess that's what the dictionary should describe it." He confidently answered.

Nang maayos ko na ang sarili ko, agad kong inayos ang upo ko sa kama habang nakaharap sa kanya. Takip-takip ko ang mga hita ko gamit ang unan na nakuha ko. 

I can't believe we're having a time like this after all that has happened earlier. Maybe this is not actually a bad thing. I guess I should've gone and done this instead.

"I see you're not Crossroad Academy's top-ranking student three years ago for nothing," I commented. 

I usually try not to compliment someone but this time, this guy deserves it. When I'm looking up into this man's background, nagulat ako sa mga nalaman ko. I can't find any dirt in him. It's all just related to his parent's wrongdoings but the rest is all of his amazing achievements.

Napatawa siya pero bigla itong napahinto. Pansin ko ang pawis sa kanyang ulo, bakas na nagulat siya sa mga sinabi ko.

"That was a long time ago. Wait, you know me?" Tanong niya.

"Of course, I did my research. Hindi ako basta-basta kumakausap ng tao na hindi ko kilala much less do this kind of thing." I said proudly while folding my arms together.

 "What, are you a stalker?" He narrowed his eyes as he ask.

"That's rude. Call me a renowned expert." I cleverly said while flipping my hair on the side. 

He looks at me as if what I just said didn't actually change anything. Well, I did took research on him secretly this same day. That's a fact I can't deny. 

"So? What about this CEO thing you are talking about?" He brings the subject back.

"I want you to be my CEO. I want you to succeed in my family's company." Sagot ko.

No more schemes. No more beating around the bush. I'll tell him everything.

Napatahimik siya ng sandali bago tumingin ulit sakin. 

"You mean a real CEO, right?" Sagot niya.

Naisip siguro niya ang eksena sa performance niya kanina sa contest. When he performs the role of an intern talking back to his superior which coincidentally a CEO. The way he magnificently did his act without a hint of acting as if it was all real is brilliant.

"Yes." Sagot ko kasabay ng pagtango ko.

"That's impossible. How can someone like me, a nineteen years old and a student at that can become someone big like that." Sagot niya kasabay ng paglapag ng kamay niya sa kama.

"Age doesn't matter to become a CEO. I don't know about the others but at the very least, that's how I will say it. I know how irresponsible this is to say and I know credentials and achievements are still going to play a huge role but I think anyone should be qualified for it as long as they have what it takes." Paliwanag ko.

"Bakit ako?" He asked very sincerely. I guess he sees that I'm actually serious about this. Humarap na siya sa akin ng tuluyan sabay diretso ang tingin. 

Yes.

Yan ang tamang tanong.

Bakit nga ba ikaw? Bakit ikaw John Smith ang napili ko. 

"Kanina sa competition, may nangyaring hindi mo inaasahan, tama ba ako?" Tanong ko na kanya namang kinabahala.

He's in thought for a moment. 

"Yun ba? About sa performance ko? Andami ko nga mali e. Ilang beses akong nag-off topic." Napakamot siya gamit ang hintuturo niya sa pisngi niya.

Ngumiti ako sarcastically para ipaalam sa kanya na hindi ako naniniwala. Napansin niya ito kaya sinubukan niyang magsalita ulit para ipilit ang nais niya.

"Totoo naman talaga. I'm not who I was before." Sabi niya.

"You're too hard on yourself. Alam mo bang napabilib mo kami?" Once again, I complimented him. This guy doesn't know that when I say a compliment, I really meant it.

"Alam namin lahat ng nangyari. Hindi mo kailangan magpanggap." Dagdag ko pa sa kanya.

Makikita sa mukha niya ang mukhang taong nabisto sa kanyang kasinungalingan. Halata mong pinagpapawisan siya kahit ang lamig dito sa loob ng kwarto.

Sinusubukan niya bang protektahan yung taong gumawa sa kanya ng ganun? I don't get it. They literally plan for your downfall.  

"Someone sabotage your script and all of the judges know about it that's why we're all on the edge of our seats enthralled by your performance." Paliwanag ko sa kanya.

Wait.

Is he actually getting embarrassed? His face is all red. That's kind of cute. 

"So everyone knows, huh?  I guess there's no point in acting dumb anymore. It's not like I'm trying to protect those kinds of people or anything like that. If you've been inside the acting industry, I'm sure you'll find those occurrences pretty often. Of course, it sucks if you're being targeted by them and it will ruin your performance but I actually don't mind." He explained.

"Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na naisip ang mga bagay na 'yun once I'm in the stage. I'm just grateful to be there standing once again."

"To make it simple, I'm just happy." Ngumiti siya habang nakatingin sa bintana. 

"...That people still remember me." Dagdag niya.

Now that I'm near this person, I can surely say. He's quite attractive. His naturally blonde hair, the perfectly chiseled bridge of his nose to his eyes, also his long eyelashes would surely make any girl envious. Even more when you look at that pair of perfectly drawn eyebrows. He's that handsome yet for some reason this guy is still single. 

What's stopping him from dating anyone? 

"You made so many unforgettable things. How can we forget?" Nakapatong na pala ang pisngi ko sa palad ko habang naka upo nang nasabi ko ito.

Bata pa lang ako kilala ko na ang nagngangalang John Smith. Ang taong laman ng bawat commercials dati. Ang featured child star lagi sa mga red carpet events.

He's that famous ladies and gentlemen!

I don't think anyone in this country wouldn't know about the name John Smith. He's basically the reason why and made the name famous even if it's the most common name around.

"Anyway! Forget about that! We're supposed to talk about why did you choose me." Muli niyang binalik ang topic na ito.

"Okay, okay, Mr. Famous." I said.

"There's something in you that I fell in love with." Sabi ko habang nakapatong ang pisngi ko sa kaliwang palad ko. 

"Did you just confess your feelings there?" Sabi niya na may gulat sa mukha.

"You can say it like that pero hindi ito love. When I saw your performance, I know it was going to be you. There can't be anybody else but you." Sabi ko habang inaalala ang mga pangyayari kaninang umaga.

"Isn't that already what you can call love at first sight?" Nakangiti niyang sabi. Kinikilig ba siya? I know I said this guy is quite attractive but I'm definitely not into him.

"Are you listening to what I have just said? Are you deaf? I literally said it's not love, right?" I made my point twice.

"Okay, ma'am." He sat kneeling on the bed like a servant. 

Okay. That's probably my bad. I raised my voice too much that he probably felt my queen aura. I laughed way too hard in my mind. 

"You're too perfect for the job that I can't imagine anyone else but you." Pinagpatuloy ko ang pag-explain.

"That's why I planned to do it tonight." Hindi ko namamalayan, mahigpit na pala ang yakap ko sa unan na hawak-hawak ko.

"I seduced you." 

"Ginawa ko lahat. I intended to lose my virginity tonight if I have to." Dagdag ko.

"W-What?" Napatayo siya sa sigaw pero agad naman itong umupo at lumapit sa akin.

Nahiya siguro siya dahil napalakas siya ng sigaw. Well, hindi lang naman kami ang tao ng hotel na ito. Gabi na at marami na ang nag-eenjoy sa pagtulog nila. 

"You're a virgin?" Bulong niya.

"What's so surprising about that?" I genuinely ask him.

"You did all of that while you're inexperienced?" Bulong niya.

"As I said, what's so surprising about that? And why are you whispering?" I ask again. 

It's amazing how we can answer both questions with another question. 

"I selfishly thought you've done this before." Sa tono ng pananalita niya ay mukhang paniwalang paniwala siya sa iniisip niya.

"Hey! That's rude!" Agad kong banat.

"I don't go around randomly seducing people," I said.

"You honestly think you can blame for thinking like that?" Sabi niya habang nakatingin sa dibdib ko. 

"Stop looking at me like that, perv." I immediately covered my chest. 

"How dare you say that when you're the one who instigated this." Banat niya.

I sighed while having a facepalm.

"Wag na tayo magtalo. Let's call it truce." Sabi ko.

It's four in the morning and we're still at this conversation. 

Ngayon na parehas kaming bahagyang nanahimik, hindi namin mapigilan ang ingay na naririnig namin na nanggagaling sa magkabilang kwarto. 

It looks like someone's having a good time. Both rooms are making sounds as if cheeks are getting clapped. I know if I use the term right but I guess it should suffice. I'm not that innocent but I know second to nothing about these things. 

I know I talked about giving up my virginity and all of that but I'm no expert at that thing. If I'm going to rank myself, I'd say I'm positive that I'm six out of ten with my knowledge about mating.

Hindi na namin napagpatuloy ang usapan namin dahil na-overwhelm kami sa mga licks and moans na naririnig namin from both sides of the wall. This is a Love Hotel after all.

We decided to just sleep and try to block all their noises by using pillows. Frankly, we thank the management for providing so many pillows. Hindi ko nabilang ang mga unan na naibto ko sakanya pero meron pa ring unan akong nakikita sa kama. 

Sa susunod na visit ko dito, I'll make sure to rate them high.

It became awkward all of the sudden. 

No one made any move nor said a thing. 

It's just silence between us despite the noises outside the walls.

Ako sa kama at siya naman sa sofa. 

Hindi ko namalayan nakatulog na pala ako. Paano ba ako nakatulog ng mahimbing sa sitwasyong ito? Siguro nadala na rin ng pagod ng buong araw. Nakatulog kaya siya ng maayos? 

Paggising ko hindi na ako nagulat dahil inaasahan ko na ito.

He's gone.

He left me alone with a note. 

Pinunit ko ang note nang hindi man lang ito binabasa.

"You think it's going to be easy turning down a Frey? That's where you're wrong Mr. John Smith. I'll show you how I do things my way." Sabi ko habang nakatingin sa bintana ng hotel.

Maliwanag na at kitang kita mo ang view ng city. 

"John Smith, I'll remind you how inevitable my plans are."

I didn't know I was already having a hysterical laugh when I heard someone knock on the door.

"Ah, Ma'am, nandiyan na po si Miss Yula. She's waiting for you outside." It's Sebastian's voice, my butler.

What a way to ruin my queen vibe.

"Sebas, tell Yula to prepare we're going to fly."

I confidently flipped my hair as I walk towards the door. 

I'm coming for you John Smith.

Ready or not.