Prologue

It was Sunday, a day meant for rest. I left the mansion early to attend Mass, following my usual Sunday routine. I would visit the church that my family and I used to attend when they were still alive. Now, I go alone, offering prayers to remember and honor them. After Mass, I would have a brief chat with Aling Andeng, a sampaguita vendor outside the church whom I met when I returned to the Philippines. She has become like a mother to me. She once told me that she lives alone and supports herself, so I make it a habit to buy a sampaguita from her whenever I can.

“Mauna na ako, Aling Andeng, may lakad pa ho kasi ako. Salamat po pala dito sa libreng almusal,” nakangiting sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Nako, wala iyon. Oh siya, mag-iingat ka ha!” sabi niya, na sinagot ko ng tango.

Hindi pa ako nakakalayo ng simbahan nang mag-ring ang cellphone ko. It was Mando; agad ko itong sinagot.

“Hinahanap ka ni Mayor, may kailangan daw kayong pag-usapan,” he said, sounding a bit hurried.

“Okay! Pauwe na ako.” And I ended the call.

I could only stomp my foot in frustration. I was planning to eat my favorite ramen today, but I had no choice but to go back to the mansion because I had committed to this mission. Otherwise, I’d just be prolonging my agony.

"Have a seat, Selena," He commanded as soon as I entered the library office

"Yes, Sir." I sat on the ergonomic chair and faced him.

"Next week, we will start the campaign."

"Everything is prepared, Sir. Agustin, I have scheduled your appearance at Saavedra University, the university owned by your friend June Saavedra. All the school supplies that you'll be giving away are already packed by your volunteers from the university. They're excited to see you, and I'm also taking care of the parade. I’ll coordinate with your volunteers and sponsors."

"Thank you! By the way, enough about the campaign. We’ve successfully closed a new deal with Mando, and we want you to be a part of it. But I need you to swear that it will be kept secret, and I don’t want Andrew to know about this," he said, looking at me seriously.

"You can count on me, Sir," I exclaimed.

"You said you were very open to exploring new opportunities, right? I want you to be part of my growing business. But, Selena," the mayor paused for a moment. "It’s an illegal business, but don’t worry, you’re safe with us. It’s growing, and I need someone to help Mando run the Cartel."

There was a brief silence between us. I acted like I was shocked. This was the moment I had been waiting for—the moment I would finally find him. Jorge.

"I know it’s very dangerous, Selena, but—" He couldn’t finish his sentence.

"You can count me in, Sir," I answered with a smile, and the mayor’s face lit up with a grin that seemed to reach the sky.

"I knew I wasn’t wrong in choosing you, Selena," he said, and then he burst out laughing in his office.

I wanted to share the good news with Leonardo, but I couldn’t contact him. We barely talked these past few days since I’ve been extra careful, not wanting anyone to catch on to us. I don’t want to ruin the plans. And besides, this is the time of year when he’s busiest, meeting a lot of clients for the business. Since today is still my day off, I decided to visit Vania to tell her the good news. I haven’t seen her for a while, ever since I moved into Agustin’s mansion and became his right-hand person. We’ve only been talking over the phone for updates on our missions.

I got confused as soon as I twisted the doorknob and the door opened—it wasn’t locked. I entered. There was no one in the living room, but I saw a passport lying on the table and clothes scattered on the floor.

Lumapit ako sa mesa at kinuha ang passport. I was shocked when I saw that it was Leonardo's passport. It can't be here, dahil nasa Mexico siya at ang sabi niya pupunta lamang siya ng Pilipinas kapag nahanap na niya si Alexandra.

Then, I suddenly heard loud screaming and moaning coming from the bedroom I used to occupy, the one beside Vania's room.

Nanginginig at dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa pinto, mas lalong lumalakas ang hiyaw at ungol na naririnig ko sa loob nito. Biglang nag-iba ang pakiramdam ko at dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto.

As soon as I opened the door, my tears fell.

I saw my boyfriend, Leonardo, having sex with Vania. She was on top of him on the bed I used to think of Leonardo every night, alone and sad while missing him.

“Ooh, f**k! I miss how you move around my cock, Vania!” I heard him say, and felt like there were stabs in my heart.

I couldn’t move my feet; I was stunned. I wanted to scream and run away from that place, but I couldn’t.

“Oh God, Leonardo! I missed your huge cock!” Vania exclaimed, giggling while riding him.

The way I hear them talking while they're with each other, I realize something.

So, they've been doing this repeatedly behind my back.

I want to confront them, but I just don't have the energy for it. I carefully leave the room and head out to the condo unit, purposely locking the door behind me. I take a moment to compose myself, wiping away the tears. After a while, when I’m calm enough, I knock on the door as if nothing happened, as if I’ve just arrived, as if I haven’t seen or heard a thing.

I’ll try to face them and pretend like everything is okay. I don’t know how to handle what I’m feeling right now. I’m hurt, but I can't let them know that. But one thing’s for sure, I still have to carry on with the mission. I’ll push my emotions aside, at least for now.