2: Dark Grave

ALPHA XANDER

The feeling of doom serenaded in my chest the nearer we got to the opposing building.

I haven't been here in six months, but it felt like yesterday I last saw her, on that bed. Lifeless and blue.

I lost my mate, and I lost part of myself with her. The most important part of me. I have been breathing and surviving, but I stopped living when she did too.

She was out there, I know that she is. her crazy mother hexed her, killed her then took her. It sounded crazy, even thinking about it now. It sounded too insane to be true, but it is my reality and I'm living it.

There is no way I can make up these emotions I'm feeling. the burning in my chest.

I was once called heartless, ruthless and fearless. I know I am just a man now. A man who has lost.

“Of course, it would rain today.” Daciana, my sister, leaned forward, looking out of the window of the car as we approached the manor.

I tried to ignore the way my heart squeezed when I looked up. I couldn’t even look around the world I had put blood and sweat into creating. It has lost its appeal to me.

Knowing Adriana wasn’t going to be within those walls when I walked in.

I’m sure her scent is gone by now, her presence will be all that I have and even that has become hollow. I hate that it feels like she was never there.

You never let her do anything good enough to stand out. This is a grave of your own making, so stay in it.

Shaking my head, I pushed the voice to the back of my mind and returned my gaze to the imposing gates of the manor of my pack.

I haven’t been here since I left five months ago. But seeing the building now, high and intimidating. I wanted it to be intimidating.

Now, I want nothing more than to turn back and never lay my eyes on it again.

“Ready?” Daciana gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. Pulling me from my dark thoughts before I fall off another deep end.

Instead of giving her a verbal response, I place my other hand over our entwined ones and then give hers a squeeze. I then lift her hand and place it on the seat between us.

She doesn’t say anything as I open the door and step out of the car. I hear the sound of her door closing and her footsteps before she comes to stand beside me.

We both look up at the building at the same time.

The pouring rain didn’t deter us, even as it soaked us to the bone with every second we stood there doing nothing.

“It all feels like yesterday,” her voice breaks as she says that.

This is the most we have talked about that day since it happened. Six months without me letting anyone mention her name because I couldn’t stand hearing it. The pain felt fresh every time.

“It’ll be better this time, I promise.” She turns to me, but since I can’t find the motivation to pretend everything is going to be fine. I ignore her.

I start walking toward the house. Every step reopening every wound I thought healed. By the time we reached the double doors, I could think of nothing but despair. I felt nothing but pain. The kind of pain I was in made it almost hard to see, hard to breathe.

Hard to fucking exist.

I stop with my hand on the knob, my body trembling. It slips off the handle a few times.

Daciana doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t rush me to open the door or step in, she only stands there offering her silent support. Like she has been doing all these months.

It didn’t matter how many times I told her to leave, or that I was sick of her babysitting me, she never left. She offered her comfort even when I didn’t want it. She knows I need it.

Blood. I’m understanding the importance of it more and more everyday.

“I thought you both will never come up,” a feminine voice says, and the doors open.

Candace, the housekeeper, appears by the doorway. Her lips stretched into a wide grin and her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Alpha,” she bows her head in greeting.

I sidestep her and get into the house and without another word from either of them, I head straight for my office.

The only place I could stand thinking about.

“I guess he still is not in his best spirits.” I hear Candace say in the distance.

“I’m sorry for his behavior. It has been hard on him—“

l didn’t hear the end of what Daciana had to say because I shut the door as she was going on with the words.

A loaded breath leaves my mouth. The familiar scent of aged books, leather and a slight hint of tobacco welcomes me into the office. I shake my head, making a mental note to kill Donovan.

My half brother from one of ur father's many affairs. I got to find out the truth not too long ago.

Of course, the asshole was here recently and he smoked in here. He has gone back on his promise to quit smoking, if anything, he has gotten worse.

Since Freya, my mate's mother whom we have long history with, did that thing to his face. Reversing his surgery after the first time, he has become something I couldn’t even name, or explain. It is best that we have been staying away from each other.

We have too much to deal with and I do not have the strength to deal with more problems than my own.

I bury myself in work immediately. There was no one to do the work with us gone.

Most of the important things are in my office. And the only people I trusted to come in here when I’m not around weren’t present too.

The pack was going to shits. I guess that is what happens when you abandon things for months.

I’m even more surprised by the fact that I couldn’t care less than any other thing.

The old me would be off firing people and calling shots, making the things happen any way possible. But I didn’t want to leave my office.

I didn’t want to walk around the house, knowing every corner, every turn I took will remind me of a memory of her.

Even if there was nothing to remember her by, and her scent has since washed away from the air. My mind has developed a new way of torturing me and that is by showing me things exactly as they were when I first saw them. Every single detail.

I have been sleeping and waking to thoughts of her. Dreams of her. It got so bad that I stopped sleeping completely at some point. I became numb.

I righted the accounts, as much as I could and sent in the right payments for things. Tried to find out what was ruined while I was away and how to fix them.

I didn’t know for how long I stayed there working. The rain stopped at some point. I knew that when I stopped hearing the violent patter against my window. And the sun appeared at some point, shining with the start of a new day.

My peace didn’t last for long.

When I was digging through things I was going to fix, I stumbled upon a mail that I hoped wasn’t meant for me.

But even if the person didn’t sign the letter with their entire fucking name, the message alone will tell me who it is.

‘We have gotten word on Jackson. We still don’t know his location but he was last seen meeting with a woman. I’m guessing who you are looking for. She has a girl with her, they look alike I heard. It might be Adriana.’

Carlson.

My eyes shut on their own as I finish reading the email.

Carlson was my mate's half brother. There is an even longer history there, but I'm not ready to get into it now.

Three emotions I couldn’t describe filled my chest, joy? Trepidation? Fear?

I didn’t know what state Adriana is in, or is going to be but I know she wouldn’t be happy to see me. Not for a long shot.

She has been with Freya for months and on a good day, that woman is a fucking snake. I don’t want to think of what she has said, or is still saying to her. I only know that it won’t be good.

I better be fucking prepared and she should be for me too.

I’m fighting for my mate, even if she is her mother. Freya doesn’t know what that means, she can’t ever be a mother.

Her selfish interests will always come first. I won’t let her play with Adriana any more than she already has.

I send him a reply, asking for all the details he has.

If they know where Dreya is, then I better not waste any more second without looking for her.

Finding her means finding Adriana, or at the very least knowing what happened to her.

And I’m going to find my mate. Even if it’ll take me turning the world inside out.

I’m getting my little wolf back.