ONE

The car had flipped so many times that I had become disorientated before I could even sustain the concussion that had me drift in and out of consciousness; my little body could not handle the impact. I jumped in my booster seat. My bones and muscles and joints, and insides felt like they were being crumbled and smashed into a tiny box. My torso and head pressed hard against the windshield while my arms and legs flailed. I don't even know if it's still bright outside. I was fleetingly aware that the bloody taste in my mouth made me cringe at the flavor. At times my eyelids fluttered, and I thought about what had just happened.

Why the pain? Oh, why so much pain?

I cried out to my mom, "Mommy?" No answer. "Daddy?" no reply from him too. I sobbed, crying out for them and crying hard to wake them up as I use every weekend morning. I would jump on dad and fist his bareback as a drum, and mom would join by tickling his sides until he woke. Athena and Ares would jump in and tackle him to wake him up fully. But that will never happen.

"Mommy... Daddy..." I tried struggling out of my chair, but the glasses on my skin would hit a nerve sending my brain I'm in pain. "Mommy, I'm hurt... Daddy, help me..." No matter how much I called for them, they'd never respond. The world must have kept flickering its figurative light switch because my vision flashed from bitter darkness to blinding white light.

"Mommy... Daddy... Thea... Ares... Mom-"

________________________________

"Effie, get up. You're going to be late."

My eyes shot wide open as I went up drenched in sweat—that nightmare. I pulled up my knees and hugged my legs, putting my head in between. I took slow and deep breaths easing my shaking body and my soul.

"Effie, are you up?" I didn't answer. "I'll use the bathroom first."

Ares' bellow voice saved me and woke me up before I would be trapped in my nightmare, unable to escape it. My eyes land on the door. I heard my brother knock on the door, telling me to get up once more, then he dragged his feet into the bathroom in the hallway, hearing a door close. We have two, one in the master bedroom-my parents' room and the one in the hall where three siblings share and fight over who gets to go first.

It will get wild in the morning, but since my parents are gone, everything lively in this house no longer exists.

I slowly moved out of bed, put on my fluffy slippers, and gathered my clothes for school. Choose a black cardigan. No care if it's warm outside fall is coming up, and I'll be the one who is laughing at those who dressed so little. Then I pulled out a graphic black t-shirt with a Pikachu on it, black leggings from my dresser, and converse in black. Everything I wear is in black, and I like it that way. I didn't care much about what I wore because it was school. It represents my mourning, my grieving. I wasn't ready to move on, not yet.

I walk out of my room, hugging my clothes, and at the same time, Ares, my brother, comes out of the bathroom while steam from inside is smoking out. His short black hair is damped and loose, and his five o'clock shadow has been shaved as the towel wrapped around his waist reveals his torso with tattoos of the Filipino sun on his right chest and a Japanese design covering his whole right arm. He has another one on his back with the Greek words agape, pistis, and theos.

Love, Faith, and God

"Morning, sis," he greets with a smile as he plays with his damp hair, brushing it back. "Sorry about the steam kind of cold in the morning."

"It's okay," I say quietly.

Ares groans, rubbing his face. "Effie, please speak up." I could tell by the sound of his voice he was cranky from waking up early for work. "You are seventeen, and you're not making friends with that soundless voice."

I lowered my head and quivered my lips. I heard Ares swear under his lips, and before he could apologize and silence me, thundering footsteps came from the kitchen. Then we both hear a roar, causing Ares to freeze.

"Ares, you ass, are you making Effie cry again?"

"No!" He hollers back. He's shushing me to keep quiet, but I don't say a word as usual. I felt like I was being bullied by my brother, who didn't mean to hurt me, but the tears just suddenly appeared in my eyes, putting my brother in a tight position at the head of the house.

My brother winces as we both see an angry woman stomping her way toward us and stop. Athena stands there, her hip-swaying to the side, arms crossed over her chest, holding a kitchen knife and spatula, glaring at Ares. She reminds me of our mother.

I watched Ares swallow hard. His Adam's apple went up then down.

"Want to test me, little brother?" Athena warns as she glares at him, tapping her feet.

I know Ares wants to run from our older sister, but he knows not to mess with her, especially holding kitchen utensils as murder weapons.

"No, I'm not. I swear," Ares protests and leans back not to get into our older sister's face. "I'm just telling her to speak louder."

Athen sighs and puts down her hands to her sides. "Don't get angry at her. She's been through a lot since Mom and Dad passed."

"I know."

"And the foster home."

"Yes," he grunts in annoyance. "Don't remind me."

"Now, apologize."

Ares looks at me. "Sorry, baby sis." He leans in and kisses the top of my forehead. Then he walks away to his room and shuts the door.

I hear Athena exhale a long sigh, then look as she shakes her head. "I swear. Don't worry, Effie, one day. One day you're going to be yourself again."

"I'm sorry."

Athena smiles and blushes a strand of my hair back behind my ear. "Don't be sorry. It's just your brother and I are worried about you."

I lower my head to the floor.

I had images of the accident in my head that gave me the feeling of a nail to my brain once I tried to remember.

"We don't blame you," Athena pulls me away from memory lane. "It's that dumb driver's fault. We are glad that you survive. Otherwise, we would have lost both you and our parents. It's going to be okay." She kisses my hair and walks back to the kitchen.

Watching her go had me anxious to know if I had made things much harder for her and Ares.

I remember the accident as clear as day. It felt like it was yesterday. Next month will be eleven years, and I will never forget it. Flashes of memories from my head of the crash would sometimes appear, triggering my guilt and causing me to verbally cry out in pain as if knives pierced my skull, stabbed my brain, and the only way for me to forget was to ease that pain. I'm already scarred with cuts from the crash. They are reminders of how my parents died.

I was a spoiled brat and treated like a princess because I was the youngest wanting the attention. I whined about obtaining what I wanted and, because of it, had lost my parents' lives.

My parents' car had collided with a truck driver who fell asleep on the road. The impact was quick. I next remembered waking up in the hospital bed with Athena and Ares by my side. Their eyes were swollen and moist with tears, and when I had asked where mom and dad were, they had fallen into silence and told me I was the only one who had survived.