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Chapter 11
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2024-10-29 19:42:56It’s Wednesday. I was supposed to go to The Bar on Monday, but I chickened out. I’ve stayed in my little bubble, not talking to anyone. I even told Sally to take Monday and Tuesday off from walking Benny. I guess I needed time to sort through therapy. At least the tools are working with my nightmares. That’s progress.
I’ve gone over the list Eva gave me, and I think I’m keen on Cognitive therapy. Still, I also like integrative therapy as well, where they integrate different elements of different treatments and blend them to suit the patient's needs. That has to be better than just working on mindfulness. Hmm, mindful…. when I haven’t been reading up about the therapies, I’ve been thinking of Lucas Craven. I left a message with his office to call me; unfortunately, it looks like he decided not to pursue me any further. I can’t blame him. I was a bit erratic.
Now I need to stop hiding and get my arse to The Bar. I ch
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Lillian Blackwood Chapter 12
“What’s wrong with you?”I look up at Andy; I must look like shit if she’s asking. Andy keeps to herself for the most part, but since hooking up with her new beau’s, she’s been more open, which is something I would be proud of her for, but right now, I wish everyone would just leave me the fuck alone. Andy shoves me with her shoulder, playfully waiting for my answer.“I’m fine.”“Hmm, yes, I’ve been there. The ‘I’m fine’, period.”I roll my eyes, “I just didn’t have enough sleep last night. That’s all.”“Ah huh. Well, whatever’s bothering you, fix it. It’s not going to do us any good if you forget the lyrics during our gig tonight.” She pushes off the bar and grabs her sticks, twirling them through her fingers while chatting with Justin.As much as it pisses me off, she’s right. Lyrics aren’t t
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 13
Fuck me sideways!Did last night even happen?A date. I am going out on a dinner date with Lucas fucking Craven!I slap my forehead, “I should cancel.” I murmur to myself.Last night talking to Abbey over the phone, she had convinced me to go ahead with this date. If I hadn’t called her, I would have cancelled last night. As it is, I might still back out now.Except I only have his office number. God, all I can imagine is what his PA would say to him “Sorry, Mr Craven, your date has been cancelled, and she asked you not to bother her again.” Jesus, that would be another level of humiliation even by my standards.Sitting on the edge of the bed, I ask myself, “What the hell are you doing?”“I knew you would be paralysed with fear.” Abbey grins at her own joke, resting against the door frame of my bedroom.“I should never have given you a spare key,” I tell her as s
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 14
JJ parks the car up near an old fashioned iron door at the back of an old, bricked building. I look around, there’s a couple of cars parked, but otherwise, no one is around. “Where are we?” I ask. Where the hell has, he taken me? Luke grins and takes my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze, “Relax. We’re at one of my restaurants. JJ has taken us to the back for your privacy.” My heart swells, “I don’t know what to say.” I love that he is respecting my boundaries without knowing the actual reason. “Thank you?” he suggests with a cheeky wink. The mischievousness disappears from his eyes when he says, “Stay here.” JJ opens his door for him to exit. JJ closes the door behind him; they walk around the car, and Luke opens my door, holding his hand out for me. He ducks down and looks me in the eye, “Do you trust me?” I smirk, “You steal movie lines often?” He chuckles, “Only the best ones.” I take his hand and exit the car. The bac
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 15
A cold, wet nose nudges my face, “Eww,” I swat Benny away and roll over sleepily, looking up at him and his big brown puppy eyes. “A hungry wake-up call, hey?” I yawn. He has an area that he uses for his business on the balcony. Benny wags his tail and lets out a soft woof. I roll onto my back and sigh. I was having such a wonderful dream for once too. Benny barks again.“Alright, alright, I’m getting up.” I glance at the time. “Well damn.” It’s nearly 9 am! I haven’t had a sleep-in in a long while.Benny flounces around me while we head to the kitchen to get his breakfast ready.Now, I could catch up on some work, go to the house I’m flipping, or I smile; I could go back to sleep and pick up where I left off in that dream.I shake my head; I can’t do that. I always feel like shit if I haven’t done anything productive.“What do you think of a little picnic?&rd
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 16
Strange that Dax called. Usually, he just shows up unannounced. I decided to start on dinner and cook for two. Dax will likely stick around for dinner and I know just what to make boscaiola pasta and garlic bread. Just as I’ve finished the salad, Dax walks in. “Hey, why the phone call? Everything alright?” I ask “Yeah, I just didn’t want to interrupt anything, just in case there was something to interrupt,” he says pensively. I look at my friend bewildered, “What could you possibly interrupt?” Dax is acting stranger than usual, and that’s saying a lot about him. “Don’t be obtuse, Lillian. Luke was here.” He takes a seat on the barstool and stares at me. I don’t think Dax has ever called me by my full name before. “Okay. Well, there is certainly nothing like that going on.” I shake my head. Is he jealous? “What’s going on?” “I didn’t want to bust in on you, that’s all”, he grins. “Is that my favourite pasta dish?”
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 17
I made it through dinner and dessert without being grilled about Luke. Which for my family is really something. “Dinner was delicious as usual, Esther” Joe rubs his stomach appreciatively, Mum blushes. I laugh, “Little birdie told me that you had moved in.” Joe winks and leans forward, “Your Mum and I aren’t young like you and Luke. We both know what we want and don’t feel the need to keep taking things slow any more than we already have.” He grins broadly and gazes at my Mum, “When you know. You know.” “I love that.”, when you know, you know. I smile; I’m going to call Luke. “I know that look.” Joe chuckles, “Go call him.” “Who’s for karaoke?” Stace cries, everyone murmurs in agreement and before I have a chance to find my phone in amongst all the phones in Mum’s ‘No Phone Rule’ basket, Stace is dragging me into the great room. Mum has a fantastic karaoke machine; how did I not notice the set-up when I walked in. Luce w
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 18
People are jamming into The Bar tonight. Joe will be excited about the bottom line, and I can’t say I’m mad about it either. It will help with the extra details Abbey wants to add to the house. All of this doesn’t stop me from pacing back and forth in the office. Joe insisted on installing a two-way mirror in our office, and right now, I’m grateful that he dug his heels in. I’ve been waiting and watching for Luke to show for the last three hours, and nothing. After Dax left, I called him and left a message. An hour later, I called again, and he sent me straight to voicemail. I was pissed. I called his office. The receptionist was a bitch, so I have no idea if she took my details down or not. An hour ago, I left a final message. I have officially become a stage five clinger and stalker. The only thing that has occupied my mind this afternoon is soundcheck. Now that we’re all in the office except Dax. He’s waiting for Sally at the door.
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Lillian Blackwood Chapter 19
I can’t get my keys into the door. I’m so damn nervous. “Are you okay?” I glance up at Luke, “I’m fine.” Finally, the key slides in, and I open my door. Benny isn’t around this evening to take the edge off. Quinn picked him up while he was in the city for a client and took him to Mum’s. Luke closes the door behind him. “Welcome to my home.” I drop my keys in the small bowl on the hall table. Nervously I walk on ahead; just brazen it out, Lillian, just brazen it out. I start showing him around my apartment, finishing the tour with the lounge room. “And that’s it.” I stay a couple of feet away from him. I’m so out of my depth here. “Would you like something to drink?” Luke doesn’t answer right away. His eyes are firmly on something else. I take a small step closer and notice his overnight bag on the floor next to the couch. “Oh um.” Luke grins at me, “Don’t worry about it babe, I’m glad it’s here. Saves JJ the trou
Last Updated : 2024-10-29
Latest chapter
Lillian Blackwood Epilogue
I watch the woman my brothers tell me I loved. The One. That’s what my journal tells me. Lillian Blackwood is my one. The problem is I can’t remember her. Not a single thing. All the descriptions I wrote about her don’t do her justice. Even while I watch her breakdown. While I watch my brother comforts her, over a dog named Benny. She’s still incredibly beautiful. “Are you willing to let that go?” Dylan asks as he watches the commotion in front of us. “I can’t let go of something I didn’t know I had.” I shrug and walk outside. The house is beautiful. I’m told it’s her mother’s or was. “You need to think about this.” Dylan pulls the ring from his pocket. “You commissioned this piece, Lucas. That’s how serious you are,” he shakes his head, “Were about Lily. She’s a wonderful woman, and she is going through a lot right now. Decide.” He storms off back inside. I take in the view of this beautiful piece of land. It’s just as I described in my journal. Decisions…. Stay or leave?
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 39
After returning from another MRI scan and more blood tests. I visit Luke. JJ is sitting in the corner talking on the phone. I wave to him and sit by Luke’s bed, squeezing his hand gently. “I was just on the phone with Dylan. He and Declan are on their way here. They’re currently in Singapore for the layover.” He tells me. “Okay.” it’s not the best setting to meet Luke’s family, but I do hope that he wakes before they get here. They should come home to some good news. I smile at JJ. “Any news?” “Yes, they’re taking him out of his coma tomorrow.” He grins. “That’s wonderful news.” I gaze down at Luke. I can’t wait for him to wake up. “Yes, it is. I’m very sorry about your Mum. Esther, she was a real sweetheart.” I frown, “You know Lily, it isn’t your fault. Dean and Mel are their own people. They did this.” “Thanks, JJ, I know, it’s not my fault,” I sigh. “Well, the rational part of my brain knows it, but I still can’t help feeling guilty. It’ll take a while; I guess.” I shrug
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 38
“Hi, baby.” Luke smiles sweetly, stroking my face, his other hand playing with my hair.“Hi, I think I had another bad dream, and you were in it this time. Dean shot you.” I tell him, staring into those beautiful hazel eyes. He frowns.“It was a dream, wasn’t it?” I ask, as his frown deepens.“No baby, not a dream.” He smiles lovingly. “Will you sing me that lullaby song?”“Always.” I sing the song as he holds me tightly and says, “I love you, baby.”I blink up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Jesus, I must have been on a hell of a boozy night out. I look around the room. It’s all off-white, except for the curtains, they’re grey. Definitely not at home. Did Luke take me to his place? He needs a new decorator. Who has a mini-fridge in a bedroom?“Luke?” I whisper, my voice dry and horse. I try to turn but the pain is excruciating, my back, and chest ache like nothing I’ve ever felt before. My head, I touch my head, fuck, it hurts. Someone yells.“Lily!” it’s Abby. Good god, did she need to sc
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 37
I swallow hard. My throat feels both dry and full of saliva at the same time. What the fuck happened?Slowly, I open my eyes. I try to bring my hands up to rub my eyes, but my hands won’t budge. I blink slowly and look around. It’s dark, but there is some sort of light coming in, God knows where. How did I get here?I try to move my hands, but they’re pinned to my side. I look down, but I still can’t see shit. I think I’m sitting.Fuck my head! I shake my head, but it only makes the throbbing worse.Something scatters across the room, making me jump. I whip my head in the general direction, but I can’t see shit. The adrenalin spikes which help’s clear the drug haze a little.That’s when it clicks. Fucking Dean. And Mel?!Motherfucker jabbed my neck with a motherfucking needle. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I try to say the words out loud, but of course, the arsehole has taped my damn mouth. I creak my neck, something’s covering my eyes. No wonder I can’t see. The bastard blindfolded me.I try to
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 36
Luke is stroking my hair. I smile sleepily. “You look so beautiful and peaceful when you sleep,” he smiles.“I do?” I can’t remember the last time I felt any kind of peace whilst sleeping unless Luke’s here.“Yes, you do.” He kisses me.“I think you should stay here more often.” I grin seductively.He laughs. “I bet you do; Are you asking me to move in with you?”“I think I am. You stay often enough. But I can’t imagine you would like to stay in a place so small.”“I like your place. It’s much cozier than mine. Hmm, I should take you to my place.” He gets up out of bed. “Would you like me to make you something or get you a drink?”“Yes, please. A juice, surprise me.” I get up and put on my robe. “I need to make a few calls and I’ll be right out.”I call Mum, no answer, I leave her a voicemail, letting her know we’re still safe and making sure she’s okay.I call Mel, but again no answer, I don’t bother with a voicemail. I’ve left enough.I call Stacie, knowing she’s in school and may n
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 35
Another terrifying scream breaks the silence. What–the–fuck!We jump out of bed, scrambling to put on clothes as we race downstairs. I hear movement coming from the kitchen and bolt. Luke close behind me.Mum is holding onto the bench in the kitchen, clutching her chest.“Mum?” I yell.“S-someone’s out-outside!” she says breathlessly.Luke and JJ race to the back door. Shit! Dean! Daniel’s immediately calling the police.“Come sit down. Are you alright, mum?” I move her to the dining room table and sit her down gently on one of the dining chairs.“I’m alright, Darling. I wasn’t expecting to see someone outside, that’s all.” She coughs while trying to catch her breath.“Who screamed?” Stacie asks wide-eyed.“Mum, she saw someone through the kitchen window. Luke and JJ are outside. Can you look after Mum?”I don’t wait for an answer. I race upstairs, throw on a pair of sneakers and grab Benny. Like most teenagers, Lucy has slept through the whole commotion.“Come on Benny, let’s find th
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 34
I wake feeling blissfully happy, wrapped in Luke’s strong, comforting arms. He tightens his arms around me as I cuddle deeper. I look up at his smiling, sleepy face.“Good morning, beautiful.” He says as he kisses the top of my head.“Good morning.” I don’t think this smile will ever leave my face; my cheeks are hurting.“That was quite an evening. How are you?” I ask warily.“I’m fine. I was actually wondering how you are?” His eyes glow affectionately.“I’m good. I’m sorry about last night.” He presses his finger against my lips to quieten me.“Don’t be.”“Reset?” I ask.“We already did last night.” He winks at me.“Aren’t we cheeky this morning?”“We are.” He winks and leans down to kiss me. “I love you so much, Lillian Blackwood.”“I love you too,” I tell him after our kiss ends. I hold on to him tighter, never wanting to let go, or move, for that matter. But then Benny barks.“That’s ‘I’m hungry’ in dog language.” I glance at the clock. 7:30 am. Yep, breakfast time.I quickly get
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 33
It’s been a couple of days since my panic attack. Lucas has respected my wishes and hasn’t contacted me at all. Which stupidly doesn’t make me feel any better.Why hasn’t he called to make sure I’m alright? I thought he loved me!I roll my eyes. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I’m sure I would have told him off if he called me yesterday. But today, I guess I expected at least a ‘Good Morning’ text or something.I sigh. I should really get up and out of bed today.Yesterday I spent all day in my PJ’s wallowing. I need to get out and get some fresh air.I decide to take Benny on our usual walk when I have a free day. We haven’t done this in a while. We go to our café; Benny has his Pupa-chino, a small cup full of cream, and a mini vanilla cupcake. Then we do Benny’s favourite part of our little day out, playing with his mates.Benny had a blast playing with his doggy friends in the off leash fenced off dog park. Once he’s had his fill, we sit under our favourite oak tree. Benny l
Lillian Blackwood Chapter 32
I smile at my reflection. Yes, you are a lucky bitch. I finish the last touches of my makeup and check my outfit to make sure it’s all in the right place. I’m wearing a white sleeveless fitted scoop neck top with a mini black leather corset, tight black jeans, a black leather jacket and black heels. “Oh!” I pick up my new platinum gold necklace with a key and heart charms on it. Luke said he commissioned the necklace from his brothers a week ago and here it is all the way from Dubai.“Yeah, you are one lucky bitch.” I murmur to myself as I knock on the door to my study again. This time I don’t hesitate. I walk right on in. Luke looks me up and down and whistles.“Wow, you look hot. Maybe I should put this aside for later.” He smiles playfully, “I can’t let you go out looking like that!”“What are you going to do? Tie me up?” I tease.“Maybe I will” He stalks towards me, his eyes glowing darkly. The look makes me shiver in an oh so good way. He wraps me in his arms and kisses me zealou
