I am unsure of what to do. I'm scared, wondering what games he may be playing. I watch as he goes to stand. I back up standing in the middle of the doorway. He stumbles and looks into my eyes, "mine, you're my mate."
I am unsure of what is happening. He is starting to scare me. I begin to tremble as I wait for him to snap back into reality. I can be strong, but it doesn't mean I'm not scared. I watch as he steps towards me. I want to stand my ground, but I can't. I go to run, but then all I can think about is what will happen to Jayden.
So, I stopped, and I turned around to go back into the bedroom. But he is standing in the doorway, just staring at me. I become uncomfortable with his gaze, and then I realize I am naked. I'm confused by his eyes. It is like this is the first time that he has ever seen me naked before.
I get tired of his games. I know that he's pretending he's a monster. He has never been the gentle type, not with me, anyway. "Ivan, what games ar
IVAN'S POVAs I am laying on the floor, I'm not sure how I got here or what the fuck is going on. I'm not sure what room I'm in. It doesn't look familiar at all. My head is pounding I go to touch my neck, fuck as I touch it I feel pain. Then a smell begins to overpower my nostrils and almost makes me weak in my knees. I go to look up, and that's when I see the most beautiful she-wolf that I have ever seen in my entire life.She looks so beautiful with her green eyes and her long brown hair as she is looking at me. I see instant fear, not sure why she is so afraid of me. I look down at her body, loving her naked body. As I let a growl out, making sure it's known that she is mine. Not liking that her body is exposed, I want to cover her, but I can see that she fears me and I want to avoid frightening her more than what she already is.She is so beautiful, but why is she so fucking against me, I have never met another she-wolf that wasn't head over heals for me. Go
LILLY'S POVI don't know what to think, as I'm waiting for him to barge into the bathroom. He never comes. I turn the water on. I let it warm as I feel the heat of the water on my hand, it feels so good. I step into the shower, I let the hot water pour over my body. I am shocked how satisfying it feels. As I look down, I see the water turn brown as it is cleaning all the dirt off my body.As I reach for the soap, it smells of coconut, loving the smell it is incredible. As I fill my hands with soap and rub it all over my body, god, how good it is making me feel. I haven't been this relaxed in a long time, and I don't want to get out of the shower. I could stay in here forever, loving the feeling. Of the heat on my body.I then hear a door close. It makes me jump, thinking that he is coming in here. I open the shower curtain as my hands are shaking. I am trying to control my shaking hands, but I can't. Fuck I hate how I react to him, he frightens me so
I hear Landon talking, but I don't understand the words as I watch his lips move but not understanding the words, I watch as He reaches his arm out to me to comfort me. I then move backwards, not wanting any of his comfort. I'm shocked, wondering if he was involved in everything that has taken place.I don't speak to him, I turn around, and I run, I don't shift, I just run as myself. Tears flowed down my eyes, realizing all that had happened was a test. To figure out, I was a healer. I'm so uncertain about everything. I want answers, but I feel betrayed. I, no what I wanted in the beginning, wanting to find out who I was, but knowing now what it all cost just wasn't worth any of it.It seems like I'm losing small pieces of myself as time goes on. I'm scared that eventually I'm just going to disappear and hate who I become. I don't look back, I just continue to run faster and faster. I need to get away from all of this. I have been held here for too long, it's time to g
LANDON'S POVAs I watch Lilly walk away, I feel sorry for all that I have done to her. Even though I know it is exactly what she wanted. I wonder, though, would she still want it if she knew what it all cost?I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Jayden yelling at me. "Daddy I don't know why you gotta be so mean to Lilly. All you do is make her cry.""Jayden, I'm sorry, all I wanted was to protect you.""Daddy, I don't need your protection. I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now. I'm 5 years old.""Jayden, it's just too complicated for you to understand.""Daddy only because you make it that way.""Jayden, I think it's time for you to go to bed.""Daddy I wish you would just listen to me for once and not treat me like a baby."I watch as he stomps away. I want to chase him, but I know that it will do nothing. He is so hard-headed, just like his mother, always wanting to help others no matter the cost. He is too you
It has been a couple of days that I have found out the truth about everything that has happened. I haven't talked to Landon. I have been trying to avoid him as much as possible, not wanting to talk to him just yet. I understand why he did what he did, but I almost feel like he caused all that happened. Even though he wasn't the one that did it physically.What surprises me even more is that Ivan has been gone since that night he left while I was in the shower. He hasn't been back since. I'm not sure where we stand or what is going to happen between the two of us. I'm afraid that I will not be able to look at him the way a mate should look at their mate. I mean sometimes I even get scared just thinking about being with him with all the pain he caused.I want to be happy with my mate, but I'm just not sure if that is really in the cards for me. How can I be happy with someone who has caused me so much suffering in the past? I don't know how I feel about anything. M
IVAN'S POVI can't stay here. I need to get out of here, the smell of my mate's blood is overwhelming me. I couldn't have hurt her. She has to be lying. I am not a monster or am I did I torture my mate. Why can't I remember what the fuck has happened? I need to get out of here. My head is full of confusion.I then began to think, what have I done to my mate. I'm so confused and uncertain about what has taken place. I don't remember ever even meeting her. But when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was her fear of me. I need to get out of here, I can't face her right now. I need to figure all this out. So, I decide not to tell her anything and leave while she is in the shower. I try to be quiet as I open the door and walk out of the bedroom.I shift into my wolf once I get outside. I feel so much anger and pain, but I am uncertain why I even feel this way. I try to remember anything, but it's like I can't think. My mind is like a fog. Nothing is really
LILLY'S POVThere is so much to figure out why would I ever want to be alone with him? I can see the compassion in his eyes, but I don't care. I want to avoid being anywhere near him. Of course, I'm afraid to say the wrong thing, but I need to stop being afraid. I am strong, I know I am, I have to be for all that I have been through. I just wish that I felt that strength and maybe If I did I would be able to stand up and say what I really want to say.I stay silent, not being able to speak, wondering why can't I Force the words out of my mouth. As he takes a step towards me, I take a step backwards, not wanting to be close to him. I can feel the mate bond making me want to be close to him, but I fight it. Even though I know that he is mine, I don't want him. There is nothing he can do to make me forgive all the wrong things that he has done to me.I watch as he goes to speak to me, “Lilly, there's a lot that I am sorry for, but there are things that are mo
I hear a knock at the door, I get up, not very enthused. I do not want to go and have dinner with him. I force myself to open the door, knowing That This has to happen, we need to figure out what is coming and how we can protect our pack. He looks at me and smiles. "Hello Lilly, you look beautiful. Are you ready?"I roll my eyes at him and I don't speak. I walk out the door and try not to touch any part of his body. But there isn't enough space as my stomach rubs against his waist, I instantly become wet In between my legs letting out a soft moan not meaning to or even realizing it. I then become embarrassed, hoping that he did not notice or hear me. But when I look up at him, I see the big smile on his face and I know he heard. I begin to blush, not being able to help it. I then bite my bottom lip, trying to control my body from wanting to rip his fucking clothes off his body."The car is downstairs, Lilly, it is waiting for us. I hope you don't mind going out for din
Six months have passed since we escaped hell. Life is finally beginning to feel normal. Which makes me feel terrified. I never wanted to leave Alaska where my family was from, where I was raised. But I knew I had no other choice. We had to escape to a place where wolves were almost seemed non-existing.I wanted to go back for Landon. I wanted to save him no matter the cost, if it was just me. I would have died for him, but knowing that it would have risked Jayden's life, I wasn't willing to do so. I hate that he's not here. I wanted to drop hints for him, so he would know where to go. But I knew that I couldn't risk anyone else figuring the clues out. I know that Jayden misses him. I miss him too.We figured out that other wolves didn't sense us. Usually, a wolf can tell when another person is a wolf, but because of Jayden and I having healing powers. We go unnoticeable. It makes it easy for us to live in a human world. We know that our old life will catch up with us eventually, but f
As we make our way to the door to the podium, Mary stops us. I look at her with so much anger and disappointment, I tell her, “please let us go. I want to avoid hurting you, but I will do whatever is necessary to protect us.”“They threatened to kill all of us. I thought one life for hundreds would be acceptable. I'm so sorry.”“You tied him up to a bed.”“He wouldn't stop trying to escape. I had no other choice.”“That's the thing, Mary, you had a choice, but you made the wrong one.”I want to rip her head off, but before I have time to, I feel a little hand tugging on my side. “Lilly, I know grandma made a mistake, but she's not bad, she just made a bad choice.”He's so innocent. I feel so bad knowing what is going to have to be done, and he's so little. Can he bear it? Will he forgive me for what I'm going to have to do? I don't want to take the chance of us being captured. It's time to kill them all.“Jayden, some things are unforgiven when you do something so terrible.”“Lilly, j
I refuse to lose any more people that I care about. If I can get Jayden and Landon out of here, then I won't have to worry about them. I will know that they are free. I may never see them again, but at least they will be able to live. They cannot stay here. I cannot have a distraction. I need my head clear. If I'm worried about them, that I won’t be capable of doing whatever is necessary.I didn't want to resort to violence. I didn't want to kill people, especially people of my own kind. I just don't know what other choice there is anymore. I just want all of this to end. I don't want to live a life running. I want to enjoy life and everything it has to offer. I know what I have to do, and it makes me sick, but I don't think there are any other options. I quickly snap out of my thoughts as I hear Sam's voice, “Lilly, I will not follow any of your demands. You will do what you're told, or I will kill Jayden.A fire lights up inside me as those words leave his mouth. Something happens
I stand there in disbelief. No, this can't be right, he looks nothing like. Sam, how can it be him? Star said it was our mate. I thought me not feeling for him was because of the hate that is deep inside me for him. I thought it overpowered the bond and turned it into nothing. But I was wrong, I felt nothing because this is not my mate. How could I be so stupid?“Sam, what is going on? Why do you look like Ivan?”“Oh Lilly, how easy you are to fool. You're just like your mate.”I watch as he peels his face. It is so disgusting as He removes the skin piece by piece, I then begin to recognize that this is really Sam. Another person who has betrayed me, I know that I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. There's not a person who has not lied to me. It makes me angry and sad all at the same time.“Why would you do this, Sam? I thought you cared about me. I thought we were friends."?“Lilly, it's nothing personal, it's for power. They promised me to be the alpha of the wicked falls pack I've
I get out of their grip and stumble to my feet. I grab a hold of them and throw them to the ground like they weigh nothing. As my hand gets tighter around their throat, I can hear them gasp. Questioning if I should even give them a breath to speak.I then ask, “who are you and what do you want?” As I slowly release their throat enough for them to speak.“Please don't hurt me. I'm only doing my job. I didn't realize who you were until I already grabbed you.”“Who are you?”“I'm one of the watch Warriors of the pack, my name is Tye.”“There has been so much activity in the past couple of days that I didn't think I'm sorry. I didn't want to take a chance to endanger the pack.”“What do you mean increased activity, why wasn't I informed?”“There have been wolves trying to come into the pack. We are not sure why some seem harmless, but others seem dangerous. With all that has happened, we have not been allowing newcomers to join.”As I listen to him, I become irritated. I am the alpha. I s
I've been watching Mary, but she doesn't seem to mind she goes on about her business like nothing is happening I know her secret I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to strike Landon is getting well, and he will soon be back on his feet and he will want to leave to continue the search for Jayden. I wanted to take this chance to find Jayden, but I haven't gotten any farther than what I was. I want to tell Landon because maybe he will know of some hiding spots that Mary might have used. If anyone knows her, it would be Landon that knows her best. I think my biggest issue is I don't know how to tell Landon. I don't want to be the person who breaks his world. I don't want him to have to lose someone else he cares about. But I'm at the point now where I'm not sure if I have another option. I try so hard to stop thinking about everything, but I can't. All I really want to do is sleep, but I can't. My head is spinning. With all that has been happening, figuri
It has been almost a week since Landon has been home. He has been sleeping most of the time. His body is attempting to catch up on everything that it has lost. I've been working with Mary and I don't want to do what she wants me to do. She wants me to confirm Ivan as my mate and make him my second in command.I've been trying to put it off, but I'm not sure if I can any longer. I haven't even spoken to Ivan since that night. With Landon coming home, I've only been focusing on him. I haven't gotten very far figuring out about Jayden. I want to follow Mary. But every time she leaves, I can not pick up her scent to follow her. It frustrates me so much, but I try to hide it as best as I can.As I am getting ready for the day I am nervous that today is going to be the day when Mary makes me make everything official with Ivan. I've been putting it off, and I know that she is not going to let me put it off for very much longer. Not sure what my excuse is going to be this time
He pushes me inside his grip, making me feel uneasy. Everyone's staring, wondering what my move will be, but I do nothing. I let him push me to the bedroom, not knowing what he's about to say. I'm nervous. It has been almost a month since I have seen him last. I watch, I'm waiting to see his lips move, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Lilly, I have looked everywhere for him. I can't find him. He is gone.” I watch as he falls to his knees crying in despair, my heartbreaking for him. And my body builds up with anger, knowing that his mother is making him feel this way. I ran over to him and let him sob in my arms. Not knowing what to say, I know that I can't tell him what I know. If he found out that his mother had been behind all this, I'm not sure what he would do. “Landon, I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you. I wish I could take away all your pain.” I feel bad for Landon, but I will not jeopardize saving Jayden just to make him fe
My senses have improved dramatically, but something else that I have noticed is my anger. I feel my blood boiling inside me. Trying so hard to control it, I don't want to blow my cover. I don't want Mary to know what I know. If she gets any idea that I am up to something, my plan could go very wrong. So wrong that I actually might kill her.She thinks the first move should be me naming my mate as my 2nd in command. Usually, packs have male alpha's and the females are their Luna. In this case, it's very much different, since the female is the alpha. I want to avoid making it official with Ivan. I don't love him. I'm aware that I should since he is my mate, and I'm met to be with him, but I feel nothing.I was always told once you find your mate that the bond is unbreakable. But the bond that I have is nothing. When I look at him, all