10. Half-ruined

I’m the big sister, I wish I could be better at it. Levi’s men had arrived to pick us up and we left. Grey was all the way talking to Luther and he seemed happy.

It’s good otherwise I would’ve blamed myself for ruining my brother’s childhood. I still won’t compromise with it even though I’m stuffed with the debt.

“Boyfriend uncle!!!” My brother shrieked with happiness as soon as his eyes landed on him. Levi picked him up in his arms and his men started logging my suitcases off.

I took a deep breath before walking inside my hell for an indefinite expanse of time, we directly walked toward Grey’s room.

A room filled with toys and cars, my eyes looking at the sparkle Grey was shedding. I realized how selfish I was.

Thinking I’m providing my brother with everything, I was doing nothing at all. There were so many things he still hasn’t seen.

“Grey, go to sleep, we’ll play tomorrow.” I ordered, and surprisingly he listened to me. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Jamie and she smiled back.

We walked towards mine, I didn’t care if he even gave me little than nothing but my room was comparatively huge too.

The gigantic walls, painted a soft, pastel pink that creates a tranquil atmosphere. The furniture is white and simple, but full of personality pops of bright colors in the accent pieces.

There’s a snug daybed in the middle, piled with colorful pillows and a cozy, fuzzy blanket. It is all so colorful unlike my life...

I turned to look at Levi amused at me. “Do you like it?” He questioned and I dryly nodded going inside.

Levi followed, his gaze at mine as I placed my bag on the table. “You want to do it now?” I queried.

“No, you’re tired it seems.” He declined abruptly.

“Then, how about you leave!!” I didn’t want to look at him or even think about him which was theoretically impossible since I’ll be living in his house now.

“I’m adding one more rule… the debtor must respect the creditor.” He chuckled, it was all a game to him, having the rope of my life, it must be fun, right?

“Earn it!!” I went inside the bathroom to wash my face and went back to sleep. He was gone and the loss of his scent made me feel alone than ever. I couldn’t however, and tossed my body around multiple times.

I heard a knock!! “Little bird?” My body flinched as I heard Levi standing at the door. It’s time…

I opened it and he stormed inside. “Lie down.” He commanded, I sauntered toward my bed as he followed.

This is the first time I’ve seen him in casuals, a loose t-shirt, but taut enough to flex the muscles that hide under rigid suits. Light grey joggers, bright unlike him, is he really a mafia? He ran his fingers through his black hair and lay beside me.

I don’t know what he was doing until he suddenly pulled me closer wrapping his huge arms around my tiny waist.

My back contacted his chest, his warm breath falling on the nape of my neck. “Good night!!” He whispered and pulled me closer into his frame, heat arced through my body but before his touch could linger, I pushed him back.

“We talked about sex!!” I roared; my heart is not able to take this anymore. I don’t want any signs of affection from him.

I felt butterflies fluttering within, I don’t know how they found their way to escape but they did. Ravenous and desperate for an unattended emotion.

“Whatever and whenever I said!!” He roared back. His pupil dilated however, he appeared to be calm.

“You’ll count it as sex?” I questioned lowering my tone, he grabbed my hand pulling me back into his embrace.

My face was buried inside his chest and he wrapped his arms around me as if was scared to let go. I thought it’ll be okay… but this is worse than sex.

Perilous. Detrimental. Deadening.

His hands on my hair gently stroking them. “Don’t worry I’m paying you back for that day!!” The day he became someone else?

Caress my head a bit, please.

Let’s remain like this for a while.

That hug, those emotions…

He whispered drawing my body even nearer and closed his eyes shut. I don’t want this in life, how cruel is he?

“Do you want me to fall in love with you so, you can rape me?” I mumbled, his eyes opening wide.

“Do I look like I wanted to rape you? If so, wouldn’t I have done it before?” His voice was low and expression unreadable. Hurt and disappointment coursing through his veins, reflecting agony but the grip he had on me was firm and robust.

I bet he did his research on me, I wish I could do the same and know why he’s being like this. “I won’t rape you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He exclaimed with a disturbed face, maybe... no! He is a beast.

“And about you falling for me, it can’t be helped.” He smirked; he was enjoying my vulnerability way too much.

I shut my eyes trying to fall asleep and surprisingly did, without taking any sleeping pills. His warm breath helped me, his scent citrus and sugar, it eased the tension and I hated it.

I hated this feeling of being comforted by someone, someone who’ll ruin my life. Make it worse than it already is and I hate how I’m getting swayed by it.

He is trying to destroy me because he knows I am tough; he finds it amusing how he considers my life a game he could play.

I know the end is not gonna be good since he is not the hero in my story because there’s no hero in it, he’s another phase that’ll push me five years back, where I came from.

Those horrible nights with hands tearing my clothes apart, the devil’s mockery and there he is, standing in the corner, laughing at me, feeling victorious.

I gasped loudly as if my breath was stuck in my throat, I gasped again. Drops of sweat appeared on my forehead and cries ripped out of my mouth. I rippled with dread and quaked with every breath I took.

“Hey… angel…” I heard a voice, opening my eyes, another nightmare.

I pushed him back. “Leave me…” I yelled, my eyes shuddering from the dread, and shielded my body with blankets.

He got up, and hugged me tightly, his hands on my back slowly caressing it, like he knows how to soothe a horrid nightmare.

“Go away…” I tried to push him but, he was too adamant and embraced me even tighter.

“It’s okay!!” He hushed me down patting my head, he was mocking me again. Watching me miserable, how his insides are twitching with joy.

It was just the beginning but it was starting to hurt me already, I closed my eyes again upon realizing my breath was even now.

“I promise, I will chase these nightmares away, I promise angel…” He whispered however; I was too numb to argue. I was too lost to tell him, no one can take them away.

I fell asleep to his continuous caresses on my head, his scent cajoling me to fall into a deep, deep, heaven of sleep.

Concord. Comfort. Relief.

The sun rose up finding its way in the room from the window and I found myself hidden in his arms.

My eyes gawked at his flawless face; eyelashes longer than they’re meant to be. A high nose bridge, and below that, lush lips that are gently curving into a smile.

A smile… I repeat.

He would’ve been an innocent kid, look what he did to himself. I sighed knowing I’m no better than him.

My life is way worse than his, at least he has money. I stood up when he swiftly grabbed my hand hauling me.

“Where are you going?” He murmured groggily. His morning voice, too pure, innocence dripping off of him.

I felt my insides twitching and my heart heaved with the want to touch him.

“I don’t know how you do it, but I’m glad you won’t be doing it anymore.”

He implicated me in having sex with random people.

“I wasn’t given a choice.”

I jerked his hand off of mine and stood up, I went inside the bathroom to take a shower.

“Come out in ten minutes, I’m going to check on Grey.” He ordered and I gasped loudly, Grey!!

I hurriedly took a shower looking at the clock, he is not up anymore, he is going to be late for school.

I rushed towards his room and calmed before barging inside. “Grey!! Get u---.” I saw the bed empty and looked around in search of him.

“Where’s Grey?” I rushed to find someone, Jamie, Luther, anyone. No one was here.

“He’s left for school already!!” Levi uttered and I turned around.

My carelessness would drive us apart, for the first time Grey didn’t wait for me, he didn’t wake me up. I didn’t see his face early in the morning.

All because I’m too selfish to think about myself. Because I was with him, the first day in his house and my life is half-ruined already.

Tragedies love me while happiness loathes my existence.

“I’ll be leaving now…” His lips crooked into a huge curve. He looked everything but innocent unlike this morning. His face just lit up and I felt my heart twisting into a knot, a tight one. Why am I thinking about him?

His eyes were on me, and I felt my heart swell with emotions. His gaze was filled with love and admiration at least that’s what I thought, and felt a warm blush rising on my cheeks.

Like I was the only one he had his eyes on, everything inside me melted away, and he grew closer and closer.

I couldn’t move back, my body wouldn’t comply with my brain, he looked in my eyes and then at my lips brushing his tongue around his own lips.

I gulped in nervousness, what is this feeling? What is stirring inside me? His, another step in my direction, and we had no space left between us.

I swallowed again, his face inches apart from mine. Move, Grace… step back!! My mind yelled but something shut it down.

A force, a hungry horn and I failed.

My legs felt numb and dead, and the moment he extended his hand to touch me, his phone rang. His eyes went wide along with mine and he stumbled to a halt.

He seemed more flabbergasted than I was, he became sloppy all of a sudden and ran turning his back on me.

His phone kept on ringing until he finally picked it up. “What?”

He yelled and that was all I could hear, my steps faltering as well, I placed my hand on the wall trying to catch my breath, and ease this pain inside my heart.

Levi is toying with my brain, no my heart. And the only feeling I can detect for now is resentment.

I went all slovenly doing nothing, a few days ago my life was so busy that I could barely make time to sleep.

But now, I’m free with everything, I'm left alone with all my mental pressure of escaping from this house.

He does nothing but still manages to torture me. Torment me without touching me. His gaze is enough to make my insides twist and I feel wet…

I feel wet down there, in need to be touched. An unknown feeling, I’ve never wanted to touch myself, not this eagerly that I would tear my clothes apart just to find my way between my legs. Find his way between my legs.

I heard someone opening the door, I chose to sleep next to Grey but it felt like a bad idea. I sprung up from the bed and saw him entering inside with faint voice.

“Shhh… he’s gonna wake up.” It was him, Levi, he came back. He picked me up in his arms and took me to his room.