Chapter 3: Confession

LUCREZIA

The ceremony did not last long, only enough to bore me. By the time we were done, my stomach is already growling in hunger.

After the ceremony, we still stayed behind the church to talk to the priest of the ceremony instead of proceeding to the reception. I had no choice but to pretend that I’m okay, smiling at everyone despite the protest in my stomach.

“How is our church donation doing, padre?” My father asked the priest who smiled at him.

“Thank you for your kind donation, we are able to build two churches and reach more people. The churches are not fully constructed yet, but with your money it will be constructed soon.”

My stomach turned at what I’m seeing and suddenly I wasn’t hungry anymore. It’s awful how my father gain those money and how he’s donating that dirty money to the church.

I stared at the countless lifeless eyes staring at us from the wall. Handmade figures of saints that were regarded as gods even though they are not.

“Padre, please pray for me and pray for my sins,” It was Pietro who spoke, holding a signed bank check on his hand.

The priest nodded his head so eagerly that it reminded me of the animal figurines in the taxi with a bobbing head.

“Of course, of course, I never stopped praying for you.” Before Pietro could give the check to him, his hand is already reaching towards it.

“The church is thankful for the donation.”

I gritted my teeth, even the priests had turned corrupted because of the mafias.

I wonder if he knows where that money came from. Of course he knows, everyone knows about the crime families and they just don’t talk about it in fear of ending up by the roadside.

If they can’t even rebuke the sexual immoral, how can they rebuke powerful people such as them.

My eyes landed on Letizia, I could see on her face that she did not like it too.

How different are we from them? That I wanted to ask her. We also laundered money, we also turned a blind eye at our family business. We have no right to act like we are clean and better than them.

We are just like them and someday we would be them.

When we arrived at the reception, everyone was having the time of themselves. Alcohols and other drinks are served everywhere and there is a huge buffet for you to choose from.

The venue is large, we are at a hotel with rock fountains, swimming pools with cute bridges above them. We also get a view of the city landscape where you can take your own picture.

Most of the people here were men, men I’ve not seen before. They must be the made men and some associates they might have brought with them.

From the very front sat the people treated with VIP treatment are the mayor and governor of the city. I’m not just sure if they are associates or part of the business, corrupt politicians.

At the corner of my eye, I saw the Dons making eye contact with each other as a messenger boy ran to each of them to deliver some news. I drank my wine in one go and placed my glass on the tray of the passing by waiter.

My eyes followed each of them and followed to them to the door where they all disappeared to.

They are finally having their face to face meeting. Unlike the 1960s and early 2000s, nowadays the Dons of the mafias rarely met personally for a meeting.

Everything is done online, they go on online meetings where it is less risky and they are more protected in their territory.

I followed behind them, having the least idea of what their meeting will all be about. I just know that they might discuss marriage especially now that I have graduated.

I can’t have them talking about my marriage without my presence.

Smoke has already filled the room when I entered and all the smoke came from Tiburzio Leuzzi’s tobacco. Everyone is already inside the room, all complete with the Dons and their consigliere present in the meeting.

I can tell that the meeting is very private because their underbosses are not invited in the meeting. The meeting is being treated with utmost secrecy.

My eyes landed on my father, waiting for him to tell me to get out, that I don’t belong here, but he didn’t.

He stared at me, waiting for me to come near him… so I did.

“I have two daughters,” he started when I finally stood behind him. “But only one can marry.”

“That’s not a problem. I can only marry one, Raimondo,” Eros put out aggressively, even addressing my father by his name.

This is not the first time I’ve attended a meeting like this. I had once when I was little, and it has been scary as this one.

It still smelled like Tiburzio’s tobacco, and there’s still the heavy atmosphere hanging above us. My heart still pounded in my chest, the way it pounded when I was little.

I don’t know which one of us Eros wanted to marry, but I hope that he’s asking for Letizia’s hand instead.

“You have two daughters but you only want one to marry? What of the other daughter Raimondo?” Tiburzio finally spoke.

Everyone inside the room looked so serious, no ghosts of smile on their faces, no traces of the men they were outside.

Now I don’t know which man is pretending, the man they were outside or the man they are in here.

“Only one must marry because the other must inherit the business and continue the legacy for me.”

“If that daughter wouldn’t marry, then who would inherit the business after her?” No one asked that question for they knew the answer.

Of course, the one who would inherit it will be her nephew.

That means my eldest son would become the Don of Carusso family and the second will be the Don of Rocchi family.

In a way, it would be like owning the two businesses at once, but it still couldn’t be counted as owning two businesses when you have two different owners.

“Then who would marry and who would inherit the business?” Eros asked, but my father couldn’t answer his question.

“I will marry,” I spoke up in behalf of my father who looked up at me with no surprise on his eyes.

He knows I’m in love. I’m in love with the person that is in this meeting. Still, he had let me speak instead of speaking for me. He gave me one last chance to decide and change my mind.

I’d never change my mind. The heart wants what it wants.

I stared at Pietro who is sitting across the room, his eyes were on his hands folded together.

I’m going for it. I’m gonna go for it. I wished I drank more wine before coming here.

“What a heroic act for your sister. Have you asked your sister if she’d rather marry instead?” Pietro spoke up without looking at anyone.

My mind turn blank when he spoke.

“I will marry because I want to get married,” I replied curtly.

He laughed at my answer. I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. No one has laughed at my answer before.

“You’d rather marry than to inherit your family business and lead it on your own? You’re a disgrace to women.” My heart twisted at his words, but I did not back down.

I couldn’t believe that he could be this cruel, that he would dare mock and insult me in front of my father and the other Dons.

I smirked, masking my embarrassment with an unfazed look. “Al cuore non si comanda.” (the heart wants what it wants)

The humor on his face was swept away at my words. He finally looked up and stared right into my eye. “And what does it want, Lucrezia?”

My name rolled off gracefully on his tongue like he had said my name a thousand times before.

“It wants you,” I replied matching his tone.

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I just said those words in front all the other Dons.

Everyone turned silent. Even the smoke inside the room had dissipated away. I couldn’t breathe, I felt like I had humiliated myself even further and there’s no smoke to even hide the faintest embarrassment on my face.

“Madonna Santa!” I screamed inside my head as I wait for Pietro’s reply.

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t marry you. I don’t have the same feelings as you.”

My heart dropped and my face paled at his answer. W-what? Did I just got rejected in front of everyone after confessing my feelings to him in front of them?

“Pietro!” My father spoke up feeling second hand embarrassment upon my rejection to stop him.