"When emerging from humble beginnings, those around you tend to underestimate your authenticity because they knew you before you were 'somebody'." - Criss Jami, Killosophy
Like what Fifth said, he stayed in the mansion with me. It has been three days and it's the weekend. Ang sabi niya sa akin kagabi ay bibisita siya sa branch sa Angeles ngayon para tignan pa kung anong kailangan ayusin bago ang opening next weekend.
And he's been bugging me since last night to come with him.
Nakahiga kami pareho sa kama mula pa kanina pagkagising. It's now ten in the morning, hindi pa kami bumabangon para mag-almusal.
"I'm hungry.." I said.
"Life keeps throwing me stones.And I keep finding the diamonds." - Ana Claudia Antunes Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Kung si Ryan ang nasa likod ng ideya ng teddy bear, hindi malabong matunton siya ng mga tauhan ni Fifth. At sa oras na makilala siya ni Fifth, I'm sure he'll know how he's related to me. I can't let that happen. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ang tamang panahon para malaman niya ang tungkol sa rape case ko pero alam kong hindi pa ngayon, hindi pa ako handa, hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sa kaniya. So I should act now. Kailangan ko siyang maunahan kay Ryan. I'm pretty sure he's the one behind the idea of that teddy bear, but what should I do once I find out about it?
"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open." - Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters Warning: SPG Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao matapos gupitin ni Fifth ang pulang ribbon para sa pagbubukas ng Fiasco. I watched him happily accepting handshake from his visitors. Everyone looks happy. Marami ang bisita at halos kakilala niya. From a few businessman, supermodels, mga artista at ilan pang hindi naman pamilyar sa akin ang mukha ay naroon. And ofcourse, mawawala ba ang media? "Ate pasok na tayo. Wag mo nang hintayin si Kuya,
"I think our love can do anything we want it to." - The NotebookHalos hindi ako makatingin sa mga tao habang hawak ni Fifth ang kamay ko at nakikipag-usap. Pakiramdam ko alam nila ang nangyari kanina at hiyang-hiya ako. Halos hindi ko siya matignan nang natapos iyon.I saw the petite girl he's talking to, looking at me from head to toe. I have much more mature features than her but I don't know why I'm thinking that they are all better than me. Oo, sa pisikal na kaanyuan ay lamang ako, I am aware of that. But deep inside me, I always have this insecurity, that virgins are always better, that people look up to them, na sila ang laging pipiliin.Pinisil ni Fifth
"Broken hearts can live again. Delayed dreams can dream again. Anxious minds can find peace again. Some endings are beginning"."It was a lie, I lied about everything I said. Nicaseane didn't use me, I attempted to harass her. I was.. very attracted, I couldn't wait for her to like me.."I covered my mouth with my palm as tears started rolling down my eyes.I was right, Fifth was talking about him on that phone call. And this is what he said that he wants, Mr. Henson admitting to the public about the truth."Are you saying you.. attempted rape, Mr. Henson?"The silence of everyone in that press conference turned into
"The most painful moments and memories eventually lead to the greatest strengths and growth in life." - Kemi Sogunle"Are you done? Susunduin na kita diyan, overtime kana."I rolled my eyes. Tinanggal ko muna ang hard hat at ibinigay sa naghihintay na lalaki. I murmured my thanks before going back to the site office."Where are you? If you're just near the site then you can pick me up. Pero kung nasa condo ka, magpapa-drop nalang ako kay Engineer Eros.""Dinala ka nanaman niya sa site?""Yes, I'm recreating the AutoCAD drawings so I really have to check the s
"Your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.""I really can't make it, I'm sorry Coleen.." I sighed.She pouted even more. I shot her an apologetic look.It's her eighteenth birthday tomorrow and it will be grand of course. But I can't make it. Una, dahil sa OJT ko. Pangalawa, dahil ayaw ko talagang umuwi at makita si Fifth.I know it looks selfish, Coleen didn't stop convincing me since the preparation started. Alam niyang iniiwasan kong magtagpo kami ng kuya niya kaya naisip pa niyang huwag padaluhin sa celebration si Fifth, which I find ridiculous. Tinanggihan ko pa rin siya.
"She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly." - Ann BrasharesAnd I thought I'm already prepared to see them together, but here I am feeling the betrayal and pain again.I bit my tongue so hard, para doon matuon ang sakit at hindi sa aking dibdib.I saw Fifth watching me, like he's waiting for my reaction, na parang gusto niyang ipamukha sa akin na pinalitan niya ako, na parang gusto niyang pagsisihan ko ang pagtataboy na ginawa ko sa kaniya.But instead of giving in to the pain, pinanatili ko ang matigas na ekspresyon sa aking mukha. I won't gi
"A woman determined to succeed in her life is unstoppable." - Luffina LourdurajGulat ako nang kinaumagahan ay naabutan ko si Coleen na nanonood ng TV sa sala. Buong akala ko ay kinuha siya ng kuya niya kagabi.Nilingon niya ako, "Good morning Ate!" Ngumisi ito.Napakurap ako bago tuluyang nakalapit. "You're still here?"She nodded in confusion, "Yes? Where will I be?""Your brother came here last night, akala ko iuuwi ka niya.." Naguguluhan ko ring sagot.Her forehead creased, "Pumunta siya dito?"
"You're not worth just a million, but millions, and billions, and trillions, and all that I have." - Fifth MontgomeryEpilogueHindi pa rin ako kumbinsido kahit nang patungo na kami sa Fiasco para sa celebration.Hindi ako sigurado sa nararamdaman, I'm shocked, I'm happy but I'm worried too. Sinong hindi magugulat sa ginawa ni Fifth? 10 million is not an easy money. Pakiramdam ko matatanggap ko pa ang isang milyon pero ang sampung milyon?I'm happy at the thought, yes, who wouldn't? His mere reason for buying it is because he 'has' to have it, not want but he has to. Ang rason niya lang ang pumipigil sa aking magalit.But I'm worried. He ca
Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues" say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over. - Horacio JonesEnd the culture of silence.To the eyes of the law, rape is a crime. Anyone who is proven to have committed this crime should face a corresponding consequence. The law ends with that.But to the women who are victims of sexual abuse and exploitation, rape is not just a crime that happened, it's a whole different thing that shattered their life to pieces. And justice won't be enough to seal the wounds of a victim, for it will haunt them for as long as they live, for it will immobilize them and prevent them from
Everything started falling back to places.The hearing started a week ago. Si Papa ay nakalabas na ng ospital at kasalukuyang nagpapahinga na sa mansyon, with Tita Trisha taking care of him. I don't know how they are coping up with Alorica being in jail but I will try my best to help them both.Noong huling bisita ko last weekend ay mukhang maayos naman sila. Papa is in maintenance of his medicines, his brothers are handling the company. His relatives apologized to me too, noong naabutan nila ako doon. I accepted all their apologies wholeheartedly.I'm planning to visit again this weekend, tutal ay hindi naman ako abala at literal akong tumatambay lang sa condo habang naghihintay ng graduation.
"Everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. The path isn't always a straight line, and you don't need to go it alone." - Zeke ThomasTulala ako kay Fifth habang ginagamot niya ang iilang sugat na nakuha ko nang bumagsak kami kanina. Ang mga luha ko ay natuyo na sa aking pisngi. I feel so exhausted. Sobrang haba ng araw na ito."It's done, you should rest now.." he murmured.Tumango ako ngunit hindi naman gumalaw. Nanatili rin siyang nakaluhod sa paanan ko at nanonood sa akin."What will happen now, Fifth?"Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at marahang p
"You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender." - John Mark GreenI should have known from the very start that Alorica hates me to the pits of hell. Because my mother ruined her family. I should have known she can do everything to make me pay for it.Pero hindi ko inisip iyon. We are sisters, yes half, but we share the same father. At kung ako ang nasa kalagayan niya, siguro nga ay masasaktan ako, but I won't live in anger my whole life, I will eventually try to accept her as my sister.Pero siguro nga hindi pare-pareho ang pag-iisip ng tao. Just like how I held my grudge for my father, maybe that's how she held hers for me
"A woman in love with herself is magnetic." - Abiola Abrams, The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-LoveRivers is very professional when it comes to nude artwork. A first timer like me didn't feel uncomfortable at all. He doesn't give off the kind of aura that makes a woman feel disrespected. All I saw is his focus and his connection to his work.Medyo nakakangawit ang pose ko dahil nakaangat ang isang kamay ko para matakpan ang kalahati ng aking mukha. My lips are parted a bit too giving a pale innocent look. Ang isang kamay ko ay nakatakip sa aking dibdib. I'm sitting sideways, magkadikit ang aking mga tuhod.Binalot ako ng mga pulang rosas na plastik. Their
"A woman determined to succeed in her life is unstoppable." - Luffina LourdurajGulat ako nang kinaumagahan ay naabutan ko si Coleen na nanonood ng TV sa sala. Buong akala ko ay kinuha siya ng kuya niya kagabi.Nilingon niya ako, "Good morning Ate!" Ngumisi ito.Napakurap ako bago tuluyang nakalapit. "You're still here?"She nodded in confusion, "Yes? Where will I be?""Your brother came here last night, akala ko iuuwi ka niya.." Naguguluhan ko ring sagot.Her forehead creased, "Pumunta siya dito?"
"She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly." - Ann BrasharesAnd I thought I'm already prepared to see them together, but here I am feeling the betrayal and pain again.I bit my tongue so hard, para doon matuon ang sakit at hindi sa aking dibdib.I saw Fifth watching me, like he's waiting for my reaction, na parang gusto niyang ipamukha sa akin na pinalitan niya ako, na parang gusto niyang pagsisihan ko ang pagtataboy na ginawa ko sa kaniya.But instead of giving in to the pain, pinanatili ko ang matigas na ekspresyon sa aking mukha. I won't gi
"Your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.""I really can't make it, I'm sorry Coleen.." I sighed.She pouted even more. I shot her an apologetic look.It's her eighteenth birthday tomorrow and it will be grand of course. But I can't make it. Una, dahil sa OJT ko. Pangalawa, dahil ayaw ko talagang umuwi at makita si Fifth.I know it looks selfish, Coleen didn't stop convincing me since the preparation started. Alam niyang iniiwasan kong magtagpo kami ng kuya niya kaya naisip pa niyang huwag padaluhin sa celebration si Fifth, which I find ridiculous. Tinanggihan ko pa rin siya.