Day One

chapter 01

"I love you too, Akhelish." He said as he slowly leaned down to reach for my lips. OMG! Is this really it? Is he really going to kiss me? My heart thumps like a drum. It feels like I'm running a million miles away because of how fast it beats. Kien lips gradually came closer to my lips and in instincts, I slowly close my eyes. This is it. It's getting closer and closer and closer——

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" And cut! Ugh! That's it, kung kailan hahalikan na ako ni Kien saka naman ako gigisingin ng walang-hiya kong pinsan.

I rolled my eyes sleepily as soon as it opens and glared at her. She's already wearing her school uniform. Ang aga-aga naka uniform na. "Ang hilig mo talaga manira ng moment ano?" I sarcastically said with a growl. Bakas ang inis sa aking mukha. Sino ba naman ang hindi maiinis aber. Ang ganda-ganda na ng panaginip ko tapos masisira lang. Huhu, hindi tuloy ako nahalikan ni crush.

"Stop dreaming and get ready! Gosh, ayaw kong ma late!" Larriel shouted impatiently. That's her, she always want to be in time and was called the walking clock. She hate being late and wasting her time. Larriel was my father's brother's daughter. She has been living with us since her parents were in the States. She says she want to stay here and so her parents leaves her in the care of my parents. Larriel or Yel—as what I called her—and I has been close since we are in our mother's womb as the saying goes 'Cousins are the best friends of all time'. She's an only child which is one of the reason why she stick to me because she says, I am the sister she never had. We treat each other like sisters more like cousins. And she's a month older than me so she treat me like her lil' sister.

"Edi mauna ka na!" Inaantok ko pang sigaw. Gusto ko pang matulog. Late na kasi ako nakatulog kagabi kasi nanonood pa ako ng C-drama. 

"No. If you don't get ready in five minutes, then I'll dress you myself." Oh what?! Oh no. Kahit mag pinsan kami at puro babae, nahihiya pa rin ako na may makakita sa buong katawan ko. It's gross! At nakakahiya!

"Okay, okay, I'll get ready." I said in surrender.

"Good," she turn around towards my room's door and started walking but then she stopped and turn back at me. "And please, wag mong ipahalata na pati sa panaginip mo may pagnanasa ka kay Kien. It's gross." She smirks and left the room.

Did she, did she just..... "AAHHHHHHH!" I hear laughter outside my room. That girl. Nakakahiya!

"Good morning, sweetheart. How was your sleep?" Tanong ni Mommy habang naglalapag ng newly-cook food sa dining table. Mom prefers to cook the food we ate by herself and I'm proud to say that she's a good cook since she's a famous chef before she met dad. But she gave up her career the moment she married dad and fulfill her duty as a wife and sooner a mother.

I lazily sat down on my usual chair and glared at my cousin who's sitting across me and smirking. "Not good, Mom."

"And why is that?" Mom questioned.

"Well, someone just barged into my room and ruined my good dream." Irita kong sagot. Yel just grinned at me.

"Really? And what's that good dream? Care to tell?" Nanunudyong turan ni Yel. Kung hindi ko siguro to pinsan at tinuring parang kapatid, sasabunutan ko talaga to. Gosh, she likes to ruin my good moment. Mahilig manira ng moment ng iba, palibhasa walang crush.

"Oh shut up, Yel." I rolled my eyes at her and she just chuckled.

"But I wanna know what's inside your good dream." She insisted. She's teasing me, I know. But I don't like it right now. Not in front of my mother. Larriel and I knows each other's secret and she definitely know that I like Kien, my brother's best bud. And even though my family already knows about my liking on Kien, I'm still embarassed to talk about it in front of them, especially since he is my bother's friend.

I've been liking or more like loving Kien since the day I learned what love is. Since then, I started chasing after him attempting to make him fall helplessly in love with me but to no avail. Kien is a handsome serious man. I guess every girl at school liked him. Hindi lang ako ang naghahabol sa kanya. I know it's crazy but is it bad to hope that the man you love will love you back? I just only want to be love back by him. But on a second thought, it's impossible that he'll love me back. He only has his eyes and heart on the school's pride, Cindy Estrella. She has both beauty and brain. She's every man's dream and every girl envied, including me. Cindy is the definition of perfect. Compare to me, I'm nothing. She's in the spotlight while I'm just in the back. So, who whould like someone like me? Yes, I have brains but I don't have the beauty they want. Not like my brother. My brother is also popular at school.

"I said shut up." Nanggigigil kong sabi.

"Okay enough, you two." Awat na ni Mommy and both Larriel and me laughed. That's what we are. One second, we're arguing or teasing each other and suddenly we're laughing.

"What's going on here?" I heard my dad says as he enters the dining room with my brother following behind him. They sat down on their usual chair. Dad at the end of the table as the head then my brother at his left side with Larriel next to him. Me and mom are on the right side.

"Hello Dad," I greeted him.

"Good morning, my Princess." He greeted me back and as usual, turn to read the newspaper on his hand. Not a second later, we started eating our breakfast while talking about nonsense thing.

After eating breakfast, we bid our goodbyes to mom and dad and headed to school with Kuya Aries' car. Our parents prefer for my brother to drive us to school since they only bought him a car. They don't want me to drive in scare of me getting into an accident. It's like they don't trust me enough to drive myself. But as they say, I'm only in Grade 10 kaya hindi na ako nagpumilit pa.

As we reach the school's parking lot, I already saw a lot of girls giggling and screaming my brother's name at the sight of his car. That's what you got when you are popular; girls screaming here and there. Nakakabasag ng eardrums. I rolled my eyes as I unbuckled the seatbelt.

Opening the door, I heard the screams getting louder and that's when I saw his car reaching. Omg, he's coming! I immediately fixed my school uniform and tucked my bag on my shoulder.

I'm busy fixing myself nang maramdaman kong siniko ako ni Larriel making me stumbled a bit. I glared at her. "What?" Inosenteng tanong niya. I sighed and look towards Kien who's walking towards our direction. My brother was beside me.

"Hey man," Kuya greeted and they did their usual bro-fist.

"Hi Kien!" Bati ni Larriel kay Kien and he just smiled at her. I wish I could get that smile from him too. Everytime we met, Kien was always cold to me. He never ever say hi at me or even acknowledge my presence. Me and Kien used to be close, but the moment I confessed my feelings for him, he turned cold. He always pushed me away and treat me like air, invisible.

I was brought out of my thought when I heard an ear piercing scream. "Hi girlsssss!" It was Reizel, mine and Larriel's friend. Siya ang pinakamaingay sa aming tatlo. But don't you dare mess up with her. She can be a monster and be your worst enemy. And speaking of enemy.

"Can you lower your voice? You're ruining my eardrums for pete's sake!" Inis na wika ni Kuya Aries. Nag-reklamo siya sa sigaw ng kaibigan ko pero sa mga fans niya na kung makasigaw ay wagas at halos maririnig na sa buong school, okay lang sa kanya. Ano yun, favoritism? Tsk. Ang sarap rin nitong sapakin, pero syempre hindi ko yun magawa kasi nakakatandang kapatid ko siya.

"Paki ko?" Mataray na sabi naman ni Reizel. Since childhood, mag-kaaway na talaga sila. They never get along and I don't know why. Maybe because my brother love to tease and make fun of her. Reizel has a brother which is also my brother's friend. The six of us; that includes me, my brother, Larriel, Kien, Reizel, and Kuya Reige—Reizel's brother—grew up together.

We all turn our heads when someone called my brother. "Hey babe," malanding sabi nito. Oh here she goes again. She's my brother's current girlfriend, Jaemae. They've been together for almost a year now. She's definitely pretty but I don't like her because she's a bitch. She likes to laughed and played with weak people. In short, she's a bully. I don't know what my brother sees on her.

"Hey too, babe." My brother greeted and kissed her on the lips, in front of us. Ewww gross! Yuck! I wanna puke pero syempre walang lalabas.

"Really, Kuya? Dito pa sa harap ko?" Inis kong sabi. My brother has always known about my disliking on Jaemae. But he doesn't care whether I like her or not.

"Really, Akhelish." He smirk and I rolled my eyes. Too much for a good brother. Ayaw niyang may humahawak sa'kin na lalaki tapos sa kanya okay lang. Ang unfair! Hindi naman sa gusto kong magpahawak ng lalaki, ang akin lang, napaka-oa niya kasi kahit shake hands pinagbabawalan ako. Napagkamalan pa tuloy akong maarte minsan.

"I think we should go now. We're gonna be late." Larriel interrupted and we all agreed. We separate ways and began walking towards our respective rooms. Syempre I'm with my friends. My brother and his friends are two year ahead of us. They are already in the last stage of high school. While me and the two girls still has two years to finished.

"I really don't like that bitch." Sabi ni Larriel na ang tinutukoy ay si Jaemae. She too doesn't like Jaemae.

"A bitch and a bastard, perfect match right?" Reizel muttered as she plays with her colored finger nails.

"Hey, he's still my brother!" I exclaimed.

Reizel rolled her hazel nut eyes. "Whether he's your brother or not, he's still a bastard. He loves teasing me!"

"Okay, stop it guys. We're here!" Larriel announced. The three of us immediately sat down on our respective chairs which is placed in the back. We don't like to be in the front.

Seconds later, the bell rung and our first subject teacher came. Math is not my favorite subject. I hate numbers and since our first subject of the day is math, I definitely didn't pay attention on what our teacher was talking about. And she's obviously a boring teacher so half of the students didn't pay much attention.

An hour passed and finally the bell rung again which I'm thankful of, well not only me. I heaved a sighed. "Finally. She's really a boring teacher and wala akong maintindihan sa mga sinasabi niya."

"You just hate that subject." Okay, here we goes our math genius. If I hate math, Reizel loves it. I don't know what magic she has and she understand it faster. While me, end of the world nalang di ko pa siguro naintindihan ang isang math problem. Matalino naman ako pero di nga lang sa math. Di kasi sumasang-ayon sa'kin ang numbers kaya di kami bati.

"They said math is fun, pero di naman." I mumbled. "Ang daming numbers."

"You know, math is not just about numbers, equations, computations, or algorithms; it is about understanding." Reizel says. "How would you understand it kung palagi mong itinatak sa utak mo na mahirap ito."

I saw Larriel rolled her eyes. "You know what, Zel? Ang epal mo." Okay, so both Larriel and me hates math. That's what you called friendship-cousin's-goals.

Bago pa magsagutan ang dalawa, sakto namang dumating ang next subject teacher. We all settled down after greeting the teacher. This one's one of my favorite subject kaya di ako na bored.

Seconds turns to minutes and minutes turns to hours and it's finally lunch break. "Okay, goodbye students." Our last subject teacher for the morning, said.

"Goodbye, Miss Lucero." We shouted back.

"Have a good lunch!" And miss Lucero exits the room.

"Finally!" I heard Larriel exclaimed at pasalampak na umupo sa kanyang upuan para mag-ligpit ng gamit. "I'm already hungry."

"Para ka namang di nag recess." Sabat naman ni Reizel. In case you don't know, Larriel is a food monster and she never gets full. Pero kahit palagi siyang kumakain, di naman siya tumataba. It's unbelievable right?

"In case you forgot, she's a food monster." Paalala ko kay Reizel habang nag-liligpit rin ng gamit ko.

"Stop talking about me and let's go! Nagrereklamo na ang mga alaga ko sa tiyan!" Usal ni Larriel. Both Reizel and I rolled our eyes. I guess luluwa na ang eyeballs ko kaka-irap.

Without wasting time, the three of us headed to the cafeteria. Nasa labas palang kami ng cafeteria nang makarinig kami ng nakakabasag eardrums na tili. Gosh, di ba sila nauubusan ng boses kakatili.

It's always like this. Kahit saan ka pumunta, makakarinig ka ng nakakabasag eardrums na tili. And the reason? Of course, it's no other than my brother, Kien, and Reizel's brother. They are a heartthrobs.

Sighing, I continued walking inside with the girls. We get our food first before we headed to our usual table where the boys are already waiting. But someone caught my sight which makes me stop. Why is she with them? I heard their laughter as we neared the table. Pero hindi na nakatuon sa dinadaan ko ang mga mata ko. My eyes only focused on him. He's laughing making him more handsome. But I wish I'm the one who makes him laugh. I wish I could also make him laugh. Looking at him, he looks so happy as he stared at her. Cindy. He stared at her like she was his world. Like she's the only girl he could see. And that makes my heart ache, emotionally. It pains me knowing that I could never do that to him.

I guess my friends noticed my change of expression so they ask me. "Hey, are you okay?"

I cleared my throat and act as if I'm okay. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Then I flashed them a fake smile to assure them. Alam kong di sila naniniwala pero di na sila nagtanong pa. I know they already knew what's happening to me the way they send me their pity look.

"Oh, nandito na pala kayo." Wika ni Kuya Redge. He's sitting beside my brother across' Kien.

"Yeah," Larriel replied shortly. She sat down beside Cindy who's sitting across' my brother. Reizel sat down beside Jaemae since she has no choice and I sat down beside Larriel. We started eating. All of them are talking some things while I just ate silently with my heart still aching. I saw Kien and Cindy talking to each other while smiling, in my peripheral view. I can't bear it anymore.

Dali-dali kong inubos ang pagkain ko at agad na tumayo. Lahat sila ay napatingin sa'kin, including Kien and Cindy. "I'm going first. May gagawin pa ako." Pagsisinungaling ko.

Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang sasabihin nila at agad na umalis palabas ng cafeteria. Sakto namang paglabas ko ay ang pagtulo ng mga luha kong kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Fuck this shit!

Tumutulo ang luha ko habang naglalakad papunta sa favorite spot ko. In there, no one can see me crying and no one can hurt me. It's my safe haven. The school's secret garden.

Nang makarating ako sa aking destination agad akong napasalampak sa damuhan at doon umiyak. I cried on my heart's content.

It really suck to be in love with the person who doesn't even acknowledge your feelings. Pero kahit ilang ulit na akong nasasaktan ng dahil kay Kien, why can't my heart stop on loving him? Why do I still hope for him to love me back? I hate this! Kung pwede sanang sabihan ang puso ko kung sino ang mahalin, ginawa ko na.

I'm so occupied with my self that I didn't notice someone sat beside me. "Are you okay, Couz?" I recognize it as Larriel's.

"Baliw ka ba? Kita ng umiiyak yung tao tinatanong pa kung okay lang. Tss!" Reizel hissed. Nakayuko ang ulo ko kaya di ko sila nakita.

"Wag ka nga maingay." Sabat ni Larriel as I felt her rubbed my back, trying to calm my sob down.  I heard her sigh. "Couz, hanggang kailan ba kita makikitang ganito? I've told you many times to stop loving him. Tingnan mo, sakit lang sa puso ang napapala mo."

I abruptly looked at her. "Sa tingin mo ganon lang yun kadali, Yel? I tried, Yel. I tried pero wala pa rin. Kung pwede lang diktahan ang puso ko, ginawa ko na." And I sobbed again. Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko gamit ang dalawa kong palad.

I felt someone sat on my other side and also rubbed my back. "Dahan-dahanin mo kasi, Elish. At saka paano mo magagawa yun kung palaging si Kien ang nasa isip mo. If you want to forget your feelings on him, then stop thinking about him. The more you think of him, the more your feelings grow and the more you'll be hurt." Reizel said. She's right, but I can't help it. Ugh!

"B-but I-I can't help it."

"Ganito nalang, how about you date other boys?" Larriel suggested and even if I didn't see it, I can feel Reizel glaring at her.

"You're really crazy. Do you think using another man to forget the other is the solution? It'll just give the other a false hope." Reizel muttered. She's right again. I don't want to use another man to forget my feelings for Kien dahil ayaw kong iparamdam sa iba ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. It felt pathetic.

"You think then! Hmp!" Larriel muttered.

Not wanting them to argue, I sighed as I wipe my tears. "It's okay guys, don't worry about me. I'll figure out my own solution." I looked up at them and tried to smile.

They both also smile. "Ito na ba ang time na gagamit kana ng math solution?" Reizel ask.

Larriel rolled her eyes. "Anong connect?"

"Well, math can also help you with real life problems." Kibit-balikat na sabi ni Reizel.

"Edi ikaw na matalino!" Nagtatampo kuno na sabi ni Larriel and that makes me laugh. These two. I'm glad they became my friends because they can make me laugh in times of my sadness. They are