CHAPTER FOUR

*****

Omoh has gone over to Uche’s house at Ajah which mean, I have no one to witness me in my depress state. I move around the house, from one room to the next, trying to calm the numerous voices speaking all at ones in my head.

I have not gotten myself since yesterday, since Chidi shocked me with his fwords. People may say I’m acting like a child when they see how restless I’ve become. But the truth is, I am not restless from the breakup, I am worried.

I’m worried I might be cursed, I mean, my history with men has drawn me to that conclusion. It’s either that or I attract the wrong kind of guys. Maybe a just like the saying, you attract who you are; maybe I’m a wrong woman who attracts wrong men. I doubt that. Maybe I’m searching in the wrong places.

Argggg! I’m lost in my own self, Ubong deceived me and all the other men despise me but I’m not going to dwell on that any more. I have my priceless Jewel, Unwana, and I have to be the best mother for her.

All I need to do is, one, erase men from my dictionary, God help me. Two, take down everything that reminds me of any man I knew in the past. I need to leave my past behind me, find happiness and somehow, start my life.

I step into my room with a large nylon bag in my left hand and the first thing I plan dumping inside the bag is a framed picture of my daughter, Chidi and I, taken last holiday at the amusement park. Watching this picture brought back memories, memories i wish so badly to forget. I fixed my gaze on Chidi, on what could have been, that almost didn't notice the tears rolling down my cheeks. I sniff quickly and wipe the sides of my face with the back of my left hand. Then, I remove the picture from the frame, pronto, tearing out Chidi's image from the picture and shredding it into small pieces before tossing it into the bag. I take down everything given to me from the first guy I dated to Chidi, hopefully the last guy I would ever date again.

It is exhausting to always have to do right by the guy all the time so, I am determined to give up dating and focus more on improving myself.

I scoff as I catch sight of a flyer I kept long ago on my room desk. I pick up the flyer “Hmm,” I never knew this survived my daily cleaning “this is a good start.” I say as I read through it;

I notice a large yellow star shape, with the words, GOVT APPROVED, inscribed on it, at the top left of the flyer close to the GREG SCHOOL OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP, a six month course of learning the basic principles of sustaining a business and also, skill acquisition training….

I sit on the edge of my bed, dropping the nylon bag on the floor close to my right foot. I take out my phone from my side Jeans pocket and punch in the phone number written on the flyer. I place the phone on my left ear and wait patiently as I listen to it ring. Seconds later, a female voice picks the call and says;

“Hello, this is Greg school of entrepreneurship, how may I help you?” she asks civilly.

“Hi, my name is Eno. I was given a flyer from this institution and I’m calling to confirm if the registration is still ongoing.” I say

“Yes ma’am, registration is still on. You are advised to visit the school administration office. For more enquiries.” The lady at the end of the line adds.

“Thank you.” I reply gratefully then end the call.

Wearing a small smile on my face, I pick up the nylon bag while getting to my feet. I scan my room one last time, making sure I got everything that needs to be thrown away then I make my way my way downstairs. The sun is still very hot outside, I can feel my eyes struggling to stay open as the ray of sunlight threatens to blind me, i move closer to the trash bin, open it and dump nylon bag inside it. "Chapter close." I whisper, dusting my hands together.

Relive and free, I exhale deeply, smiling “At least, this is a start” I say as I ascend a flight of stairs leading to my apartment.