CHAPTER THREE

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I scan the bar as I walk in, half empty, I observe, and Chidi is yet to be seen. I take out my phone from the silver purse hanging across my shoulder, tapping twice on my phone screen to reveal the time. 11:48 AM, I'm early. Sighting an empty table, I make my way towards it and draw out a chair tugged under it then, make myself comfortable on it.

Unconsciously, I repeatedly Tap my fingers on the polished black, wooden surface while pondering if he will show up or not. I open my contact list on my phone, search out his number and just as I am about dialing his number, a gentleman walks up to where I'm seated.

“Can I get you anything ma’am?” The waiter in Black polo with the bar's name —Ricardo— inscribed on it, asks politely.

I smile briefly at the young man “Em, I’m waiting for someone. Maybe a bottle of water will be fine for now, thanks.”

“Ok ma’am” He replies with a warm smile. He leaves, returning shortly with the water.

I hate this situation I find myself in right now. Having to sit and wait for someone who doesn't know how to keep to time. He said 12 noon, and time is already screaming 12:38 PM. Does he think little of me because I don't have a fancy job to keep me busy? I sigh as the thought of the possibility of him not showing up pierce my heart.

I briefly raise my head to the entrance of the bar only to find Chidi standing there, looking as admirable as always. Well, Chidi isn't the most handsome of men but he tries compensating for that with his sense of fashion and charisma. At least, that was what got me attracted to him in the first place. Searching for me in the bar was a fair, tall guy rocking is skin-cut head and his neatly outlined beards that runs from is ears to his chin and a little above his lips. I always pity him whenever I see him in suit and tie because unlike those jaw dropping CEOs we watch in movies, Chidi can't seem to look like one of those and his tie just ends up acting like a noose, trapping any little air left in his lungs. I know, wearing a suit supposed to make them appear smart but on Chidi, well, let me leave his description at, it's not the best outfit you want to see him in and today, he chose a nice, plain black suit, a while shirt and blue tie. Finally. I wave at him to signal him on where I am and then, watch him stroll towards me.

“Hey baby.” He calls as soon as he is close enough, drawing out the other empty chair opposite me to seat “I hope you didn’t wait long?” He inquires but, his facial expression gives up his lack of interest in whatever my response will be.

“No.” I lie, but who cares? Certainly not him.

I watch his eyes fall on my green, flower print dress that stops below my knees. a wrong choice of cloth to wear I realize, when his eyes falls on my exposed lap showing off my moisturised brown skin. Then, he's eyes traveled to the v-shaped neck line of the dress in search for the flesh of my burst. I feel my anger building as I try to mentally calm myself down.

I clear my throat in an attempt to bring his eyes back to my face but failed. I have may have successfully chased his eyes off my body but I have failed to get his undivided attention. This was annoying, I glare at him while his eyes went to his side; I admit, I notice something is off about Chidi and deep down my guts, I know what is coming, a feeling I know too well. Déjà vu? Maybe.

The waiter who attended to me earlier, returns, noticing my company, he asks politely “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, I’m good thanks.” My eyes tails the waiter's gaze as it travels to Chidi's coner.

“How about you sir?” I hear him ask Chidi.

He waves his hand to him arrogantly, telling him that he doesn’t care for anything and then, sending off the Waiter to his post.

I watch as Chidi struggles to get comfortable in his chair, clearing his throat and adjusting his blue tie. Seated close, I can see the tiny red stripe on his tie. He takes out his hankie and wipes his face with it.

“Why is it so hot in here?” He complains, still avoiding looking at me

Why would he ask me that? I question myself, marveling at his predicament Not like I’m the one who invented suit and tie in Nigeria, knowing the kind of wonderful weather we’ve got especially in Lagos.

“Why did you ask me to come?” I break the awkwardness and managing to bring back his attention to me.

“Eh baby,” He begins in his unapologetic igbo accent “I want to formally apologize for not taking your calls and replying your texts.”

I smile a bit, feeling that tight nut in my stomach releasing.

“But,”

“But?” I echo. Feeling that nut pause in it release.

“Baby,” He sighs.

I lean forward,

“About dinner at my parent’s” he coughs as if the words that is about to escape his lips, left a large lump at the back of his throat.

“What about it?” I ask, trying to keep my cool.

“I’m sorry but it’s cancelled.” He finally said it. That feeling when you know something is going to happen, yet you wish so hard for it not to happen but, it happens anyways. That is my feeling right now. I had expected this news right from the time Omoh and I had this conversation a day before, I have prepared myself for this. But why does it still hurt?

“Wh — Why?” I mumble.

“Eno, I didn’t know how to tell you this but I have to tell you anyways.” sitting straight up, he said “I’m being transferred to Port Harcourt.” he exhales.

“So?” I ask confused

“I don’t think I can cope with long distance relationship.”

“Really” I blurt “You know I can visit, right? I mean, we can make this work if we try” I try convincing his already made up mind.

“I know but, it still can’t work,” he argues.

Oh, not again. I could feel sweat dripping down my legs and the room becoming too hot for me “Or, you don’t want it to work?” I can't help but feel my temper slipping gently out of control.

“Baby, you don’t have to get angry, ok, I told my parent about you, they truly wants to see you but, you know, I thought about it oo, I really did then I realized, I cannot be a father before actually becoming a father. If you get what I mean” He turned his head to the side, twining his lips as he spoke and the same time, watching my expression through his side eye.

That is it, the last straw that keeps breaking me to extinction. “You thought about it!” I repeat, almost calmly in attempt of not exploding.

What is it with this world and labeling. Is it wrong for a single mom to find love? At the moment, the only thing feeling the wrath of my frustration is the bottle of water suffocating under my tight grip.

“Yes, you should understand now. Ok, look at all the circumstances surrounding our relationship, I want to settle down, I really do but we can’t really go far with this and I know you knew this wouldn’t lead to marriage. This is where the border line is drawn. I don’t deserve you, and I don’t think I can afford you.”

Shit, I snigger, listening to his outrageous speech

“What is going to happen when Bright’s father shows up? And look at our age difference, three years baby. Not I, but you are older than me with three years, what do you think my parent would say? I can’t wait for that to happen.” Seeming irritated seating with me, he shakes his head, running his left fingers through his beards.

Dumbfounded, I saw this coming, I only subject myself in believing in a lie. Just like my past relationships, this breakup isn’t any different. They all complained about the same thing.

“You just figured that out, now? That explains why you’ve been avoiding me, I get it now. So, what have we been doing?” I ask trying to phantom the essence of our affair.

“When my friend introduced you to me, I thought it was not a bad idea to have a little distraction so we had fun and—“

Is this oga serious now? “I was a distraction, uh?” How ridiculous

How on earth did I, for a second think that Chidi would be any different? I’ve been here before and he’s not worth a tiny drop of my tears. We learn either way right? Either the easy way or the hard way, what matters, is that we learn. This is me learning from all my fruitless relationship. But it's painful at the end, having to hear the same thing over and over.

“I have to go. So much to do at the office.” He stands, adjusting his tie again “I hope you don’t hate me.” He says, blinking a smile and leaves.

Just like that? I’m so pissed, so angry at myself for my stupidity. I grit my teeth while watching him go through the exit.

I realize I haven’t even touched my water. I opened the lid of my sorry looking bottle of water and gulp down the whole content.

I can feel my eyes hurting and all I can say to console my heart is “It’s a phase, it will surely pass.” Words of hope, I guess.

I walk to the cashier, paid for the bottle water “What a gentleman he is, he couldn’t even pay” I mutter irritably.

I hurry out of the bar, hitting a hard body belonging whoever was about stepping into the bar. And instead of apologizing, all that escape my mouth is “Abeg, wakar well,” without caring to see who it was I hit earlier.

PIDGIN ENGLISH

abeg, wakar well- - - - - please watch where you are going