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82 Am I In Trouble?

Most days of my life revolve with the idea of revenge. Everything that I did was for the sake of vengeance I needed and that made my life miserable. The pain I've been carrying for the past fifteen years was so heavy. It was so painful and there were times that I just wanted to let it go, throw it away, and then I will run somewhere, in a place that is far from here. A place where no one knows me and I know no one as well.

But every time I think of that, it made me feel guilty. It made me feel as if I was the worst person in this world. It feels like I am betraying my parents just like how Ildefonso betrayed them. My everyday life is just a reminiscent of yesterday. Just like what I always said, I am stuck in the past. Everyone are already walking on the path of present towards the future but I am still in the past, I am still walking in the path of yesterday. Even my thoughts, they are all a revolve from my tragic past that never stop haunting me.

I once ask myself what is this veng
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