Troy left the room quickly, his mouth felt dry; cotton mouth. Probably a side effect of what Dr. Barren had just given him or what he'd been given yesterday. He decided to go up to the cafeteria for something to drink. He was thinking of ways to sneak into one of the private offices to use the phone when he saw Jace and a heavily made up Goth girl sitting at a table playing cards. "Troy!" Jace waved at him excitedly. "That's my roommate." He directed to the girl. She eyed him with appreciation. She didn't seem much older than seventeen or eighteen herself and he began to wonder if the entire nation wasn't filled with mentally disturbed children.He headed to their table with a cup of water from the cooler and then pulled out a chair and sat, not planning to stay long. He wasn't feeling very social. "Hey Jace." "He is cute." The girl said while staring at him and Troy glanced at Jace who was blushing furiously."Uh…did you decide on whether you're going to group or on
"Hi Troy. Happy to see you." He called out happily."Hey." Troy murmured. Damn, they were so happy here. It wasn't that he thought they were fake; they seemed earnest. But it was still annoying or unsettling, or…whatever."What's happening, Jace?"Hi Harold." Jace responded amicably."Just grab a seat anywhere. We have no seating order." This was for the benefit of Troy since Jace obviously knew all that needed to be known. Magnus patted one of the two empty seats next to her and Jace moved over to her. Troy followed."Did you have a good nap?" Magnus leaned forward in order to see past Jace so that she could speak to him."It was good. Thank you." As an after-thought he added; "Who won at your game of poker?"Jace responded. "Neither. We didn't finish.""Well we can all play after counseling." Magnus suggested.Troy shrugged. "Maybe." He didn't like playing card games. It seemed frivolous and pointless. Who had time for that when you were scoping out your
He hurried out of the room but Jace caught up with him. "Hey, Troy I'm headed for the lounge. Want to play a round of checkers or chess?""Um…no. I don't have patience to sit in one spot. I need to make a phone call.""Ok." Jace tried to hide his disappointment. He went in search of Magnus who had ducked out and gone in a different direction. "Troy!" Harold called him and he hid a groan and headed towards the big man. "Great session. Look, Dr. Barren and I were talking about you and we'd like to get you in to see a neurologist. How about tomorrow morning?"His eyes brightened. "Really?" "Clearly, you aren't exhibiting symptoms of being bipolar.""Clearly?""Well we talked to your Mom and Dad; who haven't really been around you in years. But…" he consulted his clipboard, flipping through several sheets. "…we spoke to a Miss Juicy Robinson. And she corroborates what you've said; no highs and no lows. Bipolar disorder mimics so many others." He couldn't focus on
Jace was staring blankly at nothing in particular, as if the man sitting across from him hadn't just stopped talking in order to have a black out. "I tried to commit suicide because the only friend that I ever cared half a damn about dumped me."Troy waited.Jace glanced at him, maybe waiting for him to say something that would cause him to clam up again. But Troy just watched him with interest. "We're both in an online role-play group; you know what that is, right?""Yeah. I was in Wow."Jace nodded. "Well, we play in an online group where our avatars mimic real life. We have friends, we own a club. Our avatars¡" he looked down at his hands. "We got married online." His eyes suddenly flashed back up to meet Troy's defiantly. "Yeah it's stupid, but I looked forward to being with him! I can be myself with him and he doesn't care that I have this¡male body! I'm a woman when I'm online. I'm beautiful and I can have the dream. And I know it's not real, okay?! I get that."
The next morning Troy was again awakened by Jace nudging his bed. "Dude, you sleep too heavy!" Troy sat up in bed weakly. Damn he was still tired. "I can't eat breakfast¡I'm too tired.""You slept through breakfast. But I brought you some eggs and bacon and stuff that I saw you eating yesterday." His eyes opened wide and he jumped out of bed. "Shit! I have a Doctor's appointment!" He looked around, but not sure for what. He had slept in his clothes and so was already dressed. He quickly ran his hands through his hair."Relax. Someone will come down for you when they're ready for you." Jace moved towards the folder and picked up the thick file. "Damn, you finished this all?"Troy took it from him, almost protectively. He'd spent most of the night working on it. "Yeah." He hugged it. "What time did you go to bed?" Troy shrugged and sat down at the desk where a tray of cold breakfast sat. "You're the only one with the time." He forked eggs into his mouth without ta
Things happened rapidly after that. Troy left Good Saints the next day. His Mom, Dad, Lori, and Bob were there in the lobby waiting for him. He was so surprised to see them that he had to stop a few moments just to absorb how wonderful it was not to have to walk alone in life. He was so accustomed to being alone that he still hadn't absorbed the fact that his family was at his side now—now that he had allowed them to be.Deep down he felt regret at all of the time that he'd lost, regret that he was here and Juicy was somewhere else, but he didn't want sad thoughts, so he immediately pushed those away to the back of his mind. They went to The Cracker Barrel for dinner and the topic of conversation was his misdiagnosis of mental illness. Though his parents had already shared this information, at one point Bob excused himself from the table. When he returned his eyes were red from crying. Troy looked at his older brother and for once—for the very first time, he understood just
"Troy, I want to come with you." Bob said seriously."You want to run away from home?" Troy joked. He knew that everyone was afraid for him, concerned about him going away from them and wondering how fragile his emotions were. After all he was on a new course of medication and that alone was enough to cause some concern. He blacked out more frequently, his tremors were more pronounced and he had bouts of stomach problems.But he had faced things tougher than that and survived. Maybe one day he would share those things with his family; but only if they asked. "You might need…someone to talk to." His lip twisted grimly. He thought that Juicy would dump his ass or an argument might send him flying off the handle."You're just a phone call away, right?"Bob nodded. "But if you need your big brother I'll be there in a flash, right by your side Troy."He looked down. "I know." They hugged briefly and Troy boarded the bus back to Cincinnati; back to his life and his future.
Juicy walked up the apartment stairs, stopping once to rest. She was so tired. It wasn't the fact that she carried a bag filled with oranges, apples, bananas some more of that grotesque raw spinach, romaine lettuce, roma tomatoes and ranch dressing. She was just tired all of the time now. She wanted to get into the house, step out of her clothes, make a quick salad and then climb into bed and lay down. That should make Dr. Luenenberger happy. He was always harping on her blood pressure and staying off her feet. But how did he expect her to get to his office every three days if she was really off her feet? He wasn't offering to make a house call!She slipped the key into the lock and opened the door kicking it closed behind her. She stepped out of her shoes and was half way to the kitchen before she heard his quiet voice."Juice?" She jumped. Troy was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. She blinked and looked around, coming out of a fog. The apartment had been cleaned