"That woman should be ashamed of herself!" Miss Marcie said, a perpetual grimace ever present on her wrinkled brown face. Juicy wrapped the stiff piece of hair around the curling iron, expertly pumping the handle until there was a smooth curl bouncing beneath her fingertips."What did that heffa do now?" Juicy asked, barely listening to the old woman's idle gossip. It was hard for her to focus when she had so much shit cluttering her head. Is that how Troy felt; head wanting to explode?Miss Marcie continued. "Oh she came out wearing them stretchy slacks, with that big behind of hers! You know that woman shouldn't be prancing around-" Juicy listened as Miss Marcie's voice droned on and on while she threw in a 'hmph' or a 'you don't say?' in the appropriate places. Finally the last curl was in place and Juicy liberally sprayed Miss Marcie's hair to 'set' the curls. The older woman's face broke into a smile, probably for the first time in a week. "Beautiful." She beamed then paid Jui
She did not understand why Troy had just left with those few words. It was now the middle of the night and he hadn't come back or called. They'd been living together since the nightmares had made it impossible for her to sleep through the night without him. Though living together was a slight stretch. He spent his nights with her and during the day, while she did heads, he did whatever homeless people did. Once they had the shop and there weren't people running in and out of the apartment, Troy could relax at home. They would lie in bed, snuggled under the quilt, watching a rented movie and Juicy would think, this is what other people do…Working closely together on the shop had allowed Juicy to see Troy in a different light. Maybe in her world he showed a lot of insecurity, but in his own world, with his friends and working with his hands, he was relaxed and very accomplished. He handled the deliveries, ordering the material, did most of the gutting of the old building himse
Ok, so the Doctor had been right about resting. Several days ago, when she was getting lightheaded all of the time and feeling tired, she thought she'd better make a doctor's appointment. Maybe she'd finally developed diabetes or perhaps her blood pressure had gotten out of control. Never in a million years would she have suspected that she was pregnant. Because she didn't have regular menstrual cycles due to the depo shot, she had been given an ultra sound. When that nurse said twenty-two weeks, she frantically began calculating in her head. Five months! Hell that meant that she was over halfway through a pregnancy that she hadn't even suspected! She had been so anxious to tell Troy. She'd been happy about it. Now, he'd ruined that for her. Now she was just afraid; afraid and angry.By the time she left the library and the free Internet there, it was already dark. She hadn't even gone to the shop at all. She had aspirin at the apartment so she just went home, tired, stresse
When Juicy was eighteen years old her Momma died; not immediately¡ªit didn't happen in one day, and perhaps Juicy could consider her mother's entire life as a slow death. But it was when Juicy was eighteen that marked the end of the life that Jassmina Robinson had once lived.Juicy had come home from school. It was one of the few days that month that she'd even bothered to go to school. At the age of eighteen she was only in the tenth grade¡ªnot because she wasn't smart enough, but because she just didn't bother to attend classes. She had absolutely no interest in school. Juicy figured that she could be more productive bringing home money than sitting in a classroom all day while her clients found other people to take their money! Besides, she wanted to do hair for a living, so what good was history and math when she already had her future mapped-out for her? Besides, she barely knew what was going on in class. She didn't do the homework because she was too busy with customers,
The doctor seemed surprised but Juicy wasn't. Not even a stroke could set her Momma back too far. Still, seeing her like this affected her. She had never felt more alone in her life. Juicy cried in the bathroom so that her mother wouldn't know, even though all she did was to sleep and she couldn't see her while she did that. Still, she didn't want her mother to hear her in her sleep. The next morning when her Momma woke up, she looked around confused.Juicy took time to explain all that had happened. She had a drowsy, confused expression. Her face was drawn down on one side, including her eye and someone had mercifully covered it with a bandage. She also had no use of any muscles on the left side of her body and she kept looking at her useless arm as if she didn't understand it. Juicy combed and brushed her hair and put it into two braids while her mother's eye closed in pleasure.That first day she slept more then she was awake and Juicy was able to run home and get showere
"So yeah, we knew that gal was a druggy but we didn't think she was stupid enough to steal drugs from the hospital. But then it was coming up missing way too much. She was just careless about it; taking too much."Anyway, they called your Momma into the office and said that they'd found evidence that she'd been stealing. They found one of those cardboard wrappers in your Momma's locker, which was dumb. No one would leave evidence just sitting in their locker. So it was bad enough to be set up, but worse to be set up by your own best friend."The two of them were in line, reaching for things to place on Mr. Joe's tray and her hand stopped in mid-grab."My Momma's best friend?""Yeah. That druggie gal and your Momma was tighter then a pair of pantyhose on a fat girl's legs! Actually, she got your Momma that job before you were even born. They used to hang out, go to lunch, have barbecues on the weekend."Mr. Joe slid the tray to the cashier and took a few precious moments to
It had been one week since Troy had walked out. Four days since she'd bothered to listen to any of his messages. Seven days of being in a fucked-up depressed state. And she wasn't even sure how long it had been since she'd last contacted her shop. He had lied when he said he'd call her the next day. He hadn't. By then she had been ready to talk to him. She was lonely, afraid and she missed him even though she was pissed as hell at him for being in Connecticut. But he didn't call. She got calls from doctors asking questions about him, she had even gotten a call from some old lady that said she was his mother. She had sounded as flaky as him and Juicy had only listened to her recorded message without ever speaking to her. After all, what could she say when asked how was she doing when all she would want to tell her is that her son was a deadbeat, asshole? Days later, when he started leaving messages for her again, Juicy had lost interest and had allowed his messages to pile up
Troy hung up the phone, staring at it for a full five minutes before he pulled himself around. It had been nearly two weeks now and Juicy hadn't answered the phone in days.He knew that meant that she was pretty peeved. So he made sure that his messages listed every single thing that he did. He would ramble on until the voice mail shut off and the busy tone was all that he could hear.He rubbed his tired eyes and lay across the single bed that had been his so many years before. It wasn't even night yet, but the medication didn't follow the same timeline that the rest of the world followed. When he got tired he slept and that could be even two hours after he'd risen for the day.Troy's eyes drooped and he was soon sleeping deeply and dreaming of the same thing; Juicy.The day that Troy had left their apartment, he had seen the hurt in Juicy's eyes, but all that he could think of is how piss poor of a father he would make. Troy knew the facts, and that fact is that a chil
Troy got behind the wheel and started the car. He had been seizure free for almost three years. And before that he'd had only one in the entire year. Of course he had to take his medication regularly, and if he noted that he was having any of the signals, like repetitive tapping of his fingers or feet then he anticipated one and could put himself in a safe position. There had been no need for that for several years.Jazzy had lost interest in her book in less than a minute and they were doing a sing-a-long. Soon Troy was singing by himself. He looked in the rear view mirror and his daughter was staring off into space. Her pretty rosebud mouth was slightly ajar and her body had gone slack. A few moments later her eyes blinked and she got quiet as she turned to the window to stare at the passing scenery. His lips were a grim line as he took all of it in.Janet had said that it was normal for kids to have absence seizures and that she might grow out of hers without the need for
Juicy put her hands on her hips and stretched her back. She felt it crack and sighed in relief. Oh that was good…"Mama I want pink bows.""Okay, Miss bossy." Jazzy was bouncing up and down on her butt in the salon chair. She was a bundle of energy. That girl could run from sunup to sundown. Troy was always there, running right beside her."She will tire out on her own as long as we let her run it out of her system," is what he would say when she would get tired just watching the tot run in circles. It was a good thing that the house they'd moved into had a huge back yard and all kinds of play equipment. Troy and Dad had even built her a little playhouse where no one complained if she wrote on the walls or left her toys on the floor.Juicy brushed her little girl's dark hair around her finger until they formed ringlets that touched her shoulders. Then she tied two big pink bows around each of the pigtails."Look at me Aunt Eboni!" Jazzy stood up in the chair.Ebonique re
"I'm mad at Felix, too." She nodded emphatically. "I'm mad because he was my only true friend and he…took himself away from me. He was the one person that I could turn to that understood me completely." She inhaled. It felt good to unload some of this. "That's so wrong to be mad at him. He didn't try to hurt me. It was me that let him down. He tried to talk to me and I didn't hear what he was saying. He told me what he needed and I just didn't hear.""You mean that you didn't save him."Juicy nodded after a long moment. "I'm mad at myself, too.""Why?"She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Because I hurt people and I know that I'm doing it. It makes me feel better when I'm hurting. And I let people down…I let you down.""You didn't let me down, babe.""When you were in the hospital you needed me and I was too busy having my own pity party that I stopped caring about anybody else.""Juicy, the first step is to recognize destructive behavior, okay? And you're
Several weeks later, Juicy was burping the baby after her last bottle and Troy was lying in bed half asleep. It was just after three a.m. and it had been his turn to get up and feed her, but he hadn't been able to get that last belch to erupt from her little belly and so Juicy had finally gotten up and taken over."Where's my surprise?""What?" He yawned and looked at her with sleepy confused eyes."That day." It was now referred to as 'that day', "…you said that you were going to bring me back a surprise. Where's the surprise?"He chuckled, eyes still hooded. "I wish I could give you a surprise; a special one that's in my shorts, it's big, too.""You are so nasty.""I am so horny.""Well I have to wait six weeks, sweetie.""That's a long time, Juice.""Oh come on, you told me before that you'd waited years."He sat up, propping the pillow under his arms as he turned to watch her patting his daughters back so that she could be put down to sleep."I don't know what I was
Later, Juicy held her daughter up in the neonatal ward, and so many visitors began to stream in that she was asked to take Jasmine down into her own room. The doctor had already given the baby an examination and the youngest member of the Hyden family was pronounced able to be released the next day. They weren't so sure about Juicy. But she threatened to runaway if they even thought about leaving her in this hospital without her baby. The doctor smiled and said that as long as she stayed in bed for the next few days and took her blood pressure twice a day that he would allow her to leave with the baby.Robert and Gladys sat with them, barely leaving the little baby's side. And when the girl's from the salon drifted in they looked at the odd family that Juicy was a part of. And Miss Barbara Jean did not say one bad thing about white people and Ebonique even promised to give Gladys a free cut and dye job before they flew back to Connecticut.Troy wasn't anxious once, but relaxe
There was a repetitive sound that was just downright annoying. Was Troy playing a videogame? She had never known him to care much for things like videogames. She opened her eyes and looked around slowly. What the-?" She was not in her familiar bedroom.Her head whipped around and she reached up and ripped a tube out of her mouth. It went all the way down her throat and she gagged and coughed, almost suffocating on it. Troy's body jerked where he was sleeping in a reclining chair next to her hospital bed. He jumped up and hurried to her while she coughed and choked. "What the-?" But she had no voice. She tried again and a whispery sound issued from her lips. "What-?"Troy placed his hands on her cheeks and then he kissed her. He pulled back and then moved right back in to hug her. She hugged him back, confused eyes still roaming around the room."Thank God," he was saying. "You're awake."He released her and snatched at the call controls. He was pressing it and sta
Troy was sitting in the hospital room next to Juicy's bed. He still held the small bundle of his son, even though it had been hours since his birth. He wondered if that was the appropriate word to use when a baby was born, having already died. Birth was supposed to mark the beginning of one's life, but for him it had marked the end.They had been able to stop Juicy's labor, for now, and she had been moved to a private room, still in a coma, and heavily monitored. Janet had been kind enough to phone his family who were taking a flight in to Cincinnati.Janet came into the room and pulled up a chair next to Troy's. He didn't look at her. She looked down at the baby in his arms. "Troy. You haven't eaten and you haven't taken your medicine. You need to take a few moments to do these things.""I'm not hungry." He mumbled."I'll hold the baby for you." He looked at her slowly."You won't let th-them t-take h-him?""Are you planning to hold him forever?""No. Just until I'
Troy opened his eyes and then squinted. The difference between waking up after a horrible migraine and waking up after a horrible migraine while on painkillers was a totally different experience. Usually, he was alert and invigorated. But now he was drowsy and unclear. He looked around the darkened room, pulling himself up into a sitting position. He came to his feet and reached for the window blinds. "What the-?" He was on the fifth floor. This he could easily judge by the distance from the window to the parking lot below. Yet Tri Health Alliance only had two floors…Now that the light shining through the window illuminated the room he could clearly see that he was in a hospital room. "Shit!" He hurried to the door. He wasn't wearing a shirt and he touched his chest and suddenly looked around. His shirt was folded neatly on a small table and he quickly pulled it on and patted his pocket for his cell phone, keys and wallet. He had them. He hurried out of the room, dart
Juicy loved placing her hand on her belly and feeling the baby kicking back against it. She tried to imagine her baby but couldn't picture a mixture between her and Troy. He was tall and lanky with blonde hair and grey eyes, and she had black skin and black eyes. Their baby could be caramel, dark chocolate, even vanilla. She chuckled and thought about how freaked her mother would have been by the fact that she was in love with a white man. She quickly shook her head and thought about something other than Momma.She got out of bed and walked to the spare room. She was so anxious to decorate it. It would be a wonderful baby's room. She imagined yellow paint on the walls and pretty willowy white curtains. She had once seen a room that had pretty butterflies hanging from the ceiling with nylon wings and papier-m?ché bodies. She wanted white furniture and a princess bed. Her face slowly fell. That is what she had always wanted for herself. Instead, her bedroom had been a sag