I'm roused from a particularly lovely dream when I feel something shift beside me. Sleep tries to lure me back again, but a sharp jab to my ribs has me opening my eyes with a start."Good, you're awake." My sister's grinning face looms over me. "Are you going to invite Jenny over to meet the family?""Why are you in here? What time is it?" I groan, reaching for my phone to check the time. "Kira, it's barely four in the morning.""I know. So, are you bringing Jenny over today? I'm out with Lottie and don't want to miss her." She says, as though it's perfectly reasonable to wake someone up at the crack of dawn, but for her I guess it is."No, I wasn't planning to. Can I go back to sleep now?""God, you're so grumpy in the morning." She bounces onto her feet, waving as she heads towards my door. "I'll see you tonight, have a nice day. If you change your mind about her coming over, let me know please.""Where are you going at five in the morning? I know Lottie won't be awake yet, she's mo
My parents are pretending Kenji doesn't exist. He's become a taboo subject in my house without anyone officially announcing the fact, but any time my cousin's mention his name, they are silenced and the subject is quickly changed. On Christmas Eve, Danny comes to visit and my parents dote on him as though he is royalty, but even his passing question about whether Kenji would be visiting was quickly diverted by my Amma piling our old photo albums onto the table in front of him, insisting she go through each one with him so she can point out whether it's Priya or I in each one.While we're sitting there quietly, my phone starts vibrating in my pocket and seeing Kenji's name on the screen, I excuse myself to talk to him in the privacy of my own room."Hey." My stomach flutters like it's filled with butterflies when I hear his voice."Hi, how are you?" I whisper back, locking my bedroom door so no one walks in while I'm talking to him."Are you at home? Can you talk?" He asks and he's wh
I've never been more excited about a work event than I am about tomorrow night and it's not even because of the event, it's the ability to be out with Jenny without the constant stress of having to hide from her family.I haven't seen her since Christmas Eve, we've spoken on the phone but it's all whispers on her end. I don't know who ever said sneaking around was fun, but they're a bunch of liars. It's annoying, frustrating and generally just shit. I thought she'd be able to get away for at least a day this week, but Christmas is apparently a bigger deal with her family and they've kept her busy with something practically every minute of every day. Part of me is wondering if they're actually pretending not to know what we're up to and are doing it on purpose just to keep us apart, but that is probably just frustration turning into paranoia."Hey, Ken, get your head out of your ass, you've just missed your cue for the third time now." Harrison tosses a pick at me, pointing at the othe
"Are you sure I look ok?" I ask my friends, turning my body left and right to look in Rory's mirror. Tonight is Kenji's work party thing and I spent a small fortune on a dress, dragging my friends along and also texting pictures to Akira to get her approval too.It's a figure hugging black dress that reaches my knees, with a v neckline and sheer long sleeves, then, just because it's a music party, the entire thing looks like it's been doused in glitter. I loved it in the shop and everyone agreed it was perfect, but now I'm dressed and ready to leave, I'm not sure if I should be wearing something entirely different. I might be underdressed or even overdressed.If Kenji turns up wearing jeans, I'm changing!"You look stunning." My sister tells me, holding out the silver necklace that I chose from Shane's mum's collection earlier and everyone else voices their agreement, but my nerves are making me doubt everything."Listen…" Rae takes my hands in hers and pulls me away from the mirror.
The work event was wonderful and getting to fall asleep with Jenny beside me made it pretty much perfect, it reinforced my desire to have her in my life permanently and it was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to come visit the house with me today. Luckily she has a full day at uni, so left with her bag straining under the weight of all her books. I stretch out in her bed, not wanting to get up yet but knowing I have to if I want to look presentable for this estate agent.The house is unexpectedly and unnaturally quiet as I head downstairs, it's not often that every one of Jenny's housemates are out at the same time, but I guess with the new term they're all out studying somewhere, or that's what I assume until I hear the high pitched scream coming from the kitchen.Instantly I take off running, thinking someone's slipped or cut themselves or something, but what I didn't expect was to see Priya, scantily clad, being held down by a guy in a black balaclava."Help, please, someone." S
"Bye, see you tomorrow." Maeve calls out as she and Maeve leave me in the lecture hall, my eyes on Michael Carpenter as he packs away his paperwork."You got a ninety-seven, will that do?" He sighs. Almost as if he senses me there, he places my repeated assignment onto the desk in front of me without looking up. "Yes, thank you so much." I clutch the paper to my chest and grin from ear to ear."This was a one time arrangement Jeniliya, you are a very capable student but I cannot make these sorts of arrangements again." He says, sitting down and looking at me over the rim of his glasses. "It's not fair on the other students and more importantly, I don't have the time for it.""I understand, thank you. Thank you so much." I'm so happy I'm practically dancing from foot to foot in front of him."Ok, go, do whatever it is you do to celebrate." He waves his hand at me and I bow, because apparently my brain isn't working properly. Michael chuckles and returns to sorting papers as I swiftly
I'm so tired and we're only halfway through the tour, don't get me wrong, it's fucking amazing and the fans are great. But we've performed thirteen nights out of fourteen, with after parties that we're expected to show our faces at for at least a few hours before travelling to the next town. At least this year we've got hotels to sleep in, last time we were here we had to try and sleep in a tour bus as we travelled around. I barely knew my ass from my elbow by the end of that tour. I've always struggled to sleep during the day but I must have been that tired last night that I passed out as soon as I got into bed and I'm feeling pretty good when my alarm finally wakes me up. It's always the same routine when on tour, wake up, shower, big breakfast meeting with Fred and the guys, few hours to do what we want and explore wherever we are, then head over for a soundcheck and practice before the show. This year I've also been calling Jenny every day between showering and breakfast, becaus
I sit on my bed staring at my phone, I'm not sure what time it is or how long I've been sitting here, but I just can't bring myself to move. Texts come through, making my phone buzz in my hand but it's like my brain's shut off because I can't fathom quite what they say. Well, at least that part of my brain isn't working, there's another part that is more than active. The part that's going wild about the fact that Kenji actually thought I'd slept with those men. I never doubted him, even with the photos, but he didn't even question it, I can't shake that look in his eyes from my mind. He didn't trust me and without trust, how can we say we're in love? It feels like I've been in a sort of bubble since getting together with Kenji, there's been so much drama, one way or another, maybe that's why it feels like we've fallen for each other so quickly. But what do we really know about one another? Why do we like each other? Aside from physical attraction? Do we even have anything in common?
The year abroad was the best year of my life, Kenji and his band were amazing, obviously, but the things we did and saw outside of the performances were amazing too. I completely filled up the rest of the scrapbook Priya made, as well as two others and I'm making sure to keep scrapbooking even though I'm back and studying again. Not only does it give me downtime to relax while I'm studying, but it also reminds me to enjoy myself too, so I don't get too caught up in studying all the time. I also got a part time job at a solicitor's, I actually started before I went back to uni so I knew it was definitely what I wanted and it really, really is, I even sat in during a hearing a few weeks ago and it cemented in me that this is my dream career. I feel like a different person, I'm still focused, but more balanced, which is great. Kenji and I are still together, I think I can truthfully say I am completely head over heels in love with him, but I mean who wouldn't be? He made me an office i
The guys are really excited about the tour, and I am too, it's what I've dreamt about for as long as I can remember. I would rather Jenny was with me, I'd love to share it all with her, but I know she needs to follow her own dream too and as my Okasan so wisely said, love finds a way and if we're meant to be together, it'll work out. So I'm allowing myself to get fully excited about the trip, where we're going and what we'll be earning, which I hadn't seen before but it's considerably more than we've ever earnt for a tour before! I'm pretty sure if I sat down and worked it out, it's probably more than we've earnt for all our previous tours combined! Akira has already told me when she's visiting, all the cities that are hot and have beaches funnily enough, and I've made a list of places that we'll be during Jenny's uni breaks so she can choose which ones to come for. All of them hopefully but I won't push it. I've done my shopping, with Akira's help, or so she told me. But it's a
I'm trying not to show everyone how stressed I am, but I'm so close to losing it and having a meltdown in the middle of class. I was stupid to take so much time off especially after everything thats been going on since I met Kenji. I've missed so much and now trying to catch up it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day. I lied to everyone, my tutor didn't recommend trying to catch up, she thinks that's an impossible tasks, so she suggested I drop out now and repeat the year next year. She tried reassuring me that loads of people do it. But I'm not loads of people, I'm me, and I don't give up. Besides, once I'm caught up, the stress will be over and I'll be able to spend a few weeks of the summer wherever Kenji happens to be, which will also mean getting to explore another part of the world. So it's all going to work out, if I could stop daydreaming about exploring the world that is.I've deliberately not looked at his itinerary, otherwise I know I'll start thinking about and
We've been home a month and my house is looking good, Jenny has been working crazy hours to catch up so I've barely seen her and I miss her like crazy. I’m going to ask her to move in with me, I wanted to when we were in Australia but she was in a strange headspace. To be honest ever since we've gotten back she's been weird, like she's not quite present when we're together, which is the main thing that's stopped me asking her already. But I'm planning to ask her when she comes over for dinner tonight.I've got flowers, candles and her favourite meal nearly ready. She should have been here half an hour ago but she's been late a few times recently, saying she lost track of time while studying. I'm trying not to think the worst, I don't know what I'd do if she lost interest in me. I’ve fallen head over heels for her.After an hour of waiting, I give up and call her.“Hey, are you on your way?” I ask cheerily, when she answers the phone.“Um… what?” She says, her voice sounds strained.“J
I don't want to go home and go back to university, back to my boring normal life. The thought has been getting stronger and stronger the longer I've been out here and it's worrying. I brought some textbooks with me, planning to study while Kenji was working or sleeping or whatever, but I've done nothing even remotely academic. There's just too much to see and do. The world is so big and I've been practically nowhere. It's never bothered me before, I had a plan and I stuck to it, never wavered, not until Kenji came along and I know my family will probably be annoyed that I've lost focus, but I can't seem to keep my mind on what I'm learning.Even now, I'm sitting with my books out in front of me, the band is with Fred sorting out the chaos that happened last night and Ivy is sitting quietly watching TV on the sofa near me. After saying good morning and then sitting on the opposite side of the room it was obvious she doesn't want to talk, I think she's still shake from last night, she'
The last week has flown by, I'm exhausted but I've never been happier. Every night we do a show and Jenny is there with Ivy cheering us on, then we go to the after parties and everyone loves her. Even Fred has come around to the idea once he saw the positive response from the pictures of Jenny at our show the first night she arrived. I reposted it on my Instagram page, where I clarified that we are together and very happy but most definitely not in an open relationship. There have been some upset and even some angry fans with some very negative posts about the situation and, Jenny in particular, but I've focused on the positive posts, replying to only those on my page and the positive posts are increasing every day. There are even a few who have started copying her style, posting pictures of themselves wearing outfits they've seen her in on her Social media. I haven't told her about that yet, I think it might freak her out and I just want her to enjoy her time with me here without wo
I'm having the best holiday of my life. I emailed my lecturers this morning and for lack of a better excuse, I actually told them all that I'd flown to Australia to meet my boyfriend for the last two weeks of his tour. I don't know how that'll go down, but hopefully I'll get points for being honest, maybe? I'm all up to date with my work and they know I'll catch up on whatever I've missed anyway but from the moment I sent the email and I fell back to sleep beside Kenji, I've not thought about my course at all, which is so not like me, but I'm happy and relaxed, which is also so not like me. After breakfast in bed, Kenji told me to get dressed because he was taking me out and the next thing I know he's driving me across the country towards a mystery location.I think I saw a camel!!We rushed passed so quickly that it might have been a horse standing oddly, but I swear it was a camel, which as ridiculous as it sounds since I flew for half a day, made me realise I'm in a different coun
I've been trying to get hold of Jenny for hours but her phone keeps going to answerphone and I can't pretend I'm not starting to panic. I've got two weeks left over here but I'm seriously considering what the repercussions would be if I skipped the rest of the tour and got on the next plane home.Keeping my phone in my hand, I drag myself to the pre-gig meeting and sit through it without really hearing a thing.A plane rumbles overhead and it's almost like a sign, or at least that's how I'm taking it and as soon as the meeting finishes, I grab my passport and hide it in my jacket pocket. "Oi, what's got you looking so serious?" Harrison kicks my foot with his in the car, jolting me so I'm not sure if I've clicked on the right flight."Nothing " I grumble, going back and reselecting one that I should be able to make if we finish on time, but then with encores?Just as I'm about to pay for the ticket, my phone starts ringing and my entire body goes into panic as I see it's Jenny's sist
I sit on my bed staring at my phone, I'm not sure what time it is or how long I've been sitting here, but I just can't bring myself to move. Texts come through, making my phone buzz in my hand but it's like my brain's shut off because I can't fathom quite what they say. Well, at least that part of my brain isn't working, there's another part that is more than active. The part that's going wild about the fact that Kenji actually thought I'd slept with those men. I never doubted him, even with the photos, but he didn't even question it, I can't shake that look in his eyes from my mind. He didn't trust me and without trust, how can we say we're in love? It feels like I've been in a sort of bubble since getting together with Kenji, there's been so much drama, one way or another, maybe that's why it feels like we've fallen for each other so quickly. But what do we really know about one another? Why do we like each other? Aside from physical attraction? Do we even have anything in common?