I'm so tired and we're only halfway through the tour, don't get me wrong, it's fucking amazing and the fans are great. But we've performed thirteen nights out of fourteen, with after parties that we're expected to show our faces at for at least a few hours before travelling to the next town. At least this year we've got hotels to sleep in, last time we were here we had to try and sleep in a tour bus as we travelled around. I barely knew my ass from my elbow by the end of that tour. I've always struggled to sleep during the day but I must have been that tired last night that I passed out as soon as I got into bed and I'm feeling pretty good when my alarm finally wakes me up. It's always the same routine when on tour, wake up, shower, big breakfast meeting with Fred and the guys, few hours to do what we want and explore wherever we are, then head over for a soundcheck and practice before the show. This year I've also been calling Jenny every day between showering and breakfast, becaus
I sit on my bed staring at my phone, I'm not sure what time it is or how long I've been sitting here, but I just can't bring myself to move. Texts come through, making my phone buzz in my hand but it's like my brain's shut off because I can't fathom quite what they say. Well, at least that part of my brain isn't working, there's another part that is more than active. The part that's going wild about the fact that Kenji actually thought I'd slept with those men. I never doubted him, even with the photos, but he didn't even question it, I can't shake that look in his eyes from my mind. He didn't trust me and without trust, how can we say we're in love? It feels like I've been in a sort of bubble since getting together with Kenji, there's been so much drama, one way or another, maybe that's why it feels like we've fallen for each other so quickly. But what do we really know about one another? Why do we like each other? Aside from physical attraction? Do we even have anything in common?
I've been trying to get hold of Jenny for hours but her phone keeps going to answerphone and I can't pretend I'm not starting to panic. I've got two weeks left over here but I'm seriously considering what the repercussions would be if I skipped the rest of the tour and got on the next plane home.Keeping my phone in my hand, I drag myself to the pre-gig meeting and sit through it without really hearing a thing.A plane rumbles overhead and it's almost like a sign, or at least that's how I'm taking it and as soon as the meeting finishes, I grab my passport and hide it in my jacket pocket. "Oi, what's got you looking so serious?" Harrison kicks my foot with his in the car, jolting me so I'm not sure if I've clicked on the right flight."Nothing " I grumble, going back and reselecting one that I should be able to make if we finish on time, but then with encores?Just as I'm about to pay for the ticket, my phone starts ringing and my entire body goes into panic as I see it's Jenny's sist
I'm having the best holiday of my life. I emailed my lecturers this morning and for lack of a better excuse, I actually told them all that I'd flown to Australia to meet my boyfriend for the last two weeks of his tour. I don't know how that'll go down, but hopefully I'll get points for being honest, maybe? I'm all up to date with my work and they know I'll catch up on whatever I've missed anyway but from the moment I sent the email and I fell back to sleep beside Kenji, I've not thought about my course at all, which is so not like me, but I'm happy and relaxed, which is also so not like me. After breakfast in bed, Kenji told me to get dressed because he was taking me out and the next thing I know he's driving me across the country towards a mystery location.I think I saw a camel!!We rushed passed so quickly that it might have been a horse standing oddly, but I swear it was a camel, which as ridiculous as it sounds since I flew for half a day, made me realise I'm in a different coun
The last week has flown by, I'm exhausted but I've never been happier. Every night we do a show and Jenny is there with Ivy cheering us on, then we go to the after parties and everyone loves her. Even Fred has come around to the idea once he saw the positive response from the pictures of Jenny at our show the first night she arrived. I reposted it on my Instagram page, where I clarified that we are together and very happy but most definitely not in an open relationship. There have been some upset and even some angry fans with some very negative posts about the situation and, Jenny in particular, but I've focused on the positive posts, replying to only those on my page and the positive posts are increasing every day. There are even a few who have started copying her style, posting pictures of themselves wearing outfits they've seen her in on her Social media. I haven't told her about that yet, I think it might freak her out and I just want her to enjoy her time with me here without wo
I don't want to go home and go back to university, back to my boring normal life. The thought has been getting stronger and stronger the longer I've been out here and it's worrying. I brought some textbooks with me, planning to study while Kenji was working or sleeping or whatever, but I've done nothing even remotely academic. There's just too much to see and do. The world is so big and I've been practically nowhere. It's never bothered me before, I had a plan and I stuck to it, never wavered, not until Kenji came along and I know my family will probably be annoyed that I've lost focus, but I can't seem to keep my mind on what I'm learning.Even now, I'm sitting with my books out in front of me, the band is with Fred sorting out the chaos that happened last night and Ivy is sitting quietly watching TV on the sofa near me. After saying good morning and then sitting on the opposite side of the room it was obvious she doesn't want to talk, I think she's still shake from last night, she'
We've been home a month and my house is looking good, Jenny has been working crazy hours to catch up so I've barely seen her and I miss her like crazy. I’m going to ask her to move in with me, I wanted to when we were in Australia but she was in a strange headspace. To be honest ever since we've gotten back she's been weird, like she's not quite present when we're together, which is the main thing that's stopped me asking her already. But I'm planning to ask her when she comes over for dinner tonight.I've got flowers, candles and her favourite meal nearly ready. She should have been here half an hour ago but she's been late a few times recently, saying she lost track of time while studying. I'm trying not to think the worst, I don't know what I'd do if she lost interest in me. I’ve fallen head over heels for her.After an hour of waiting, I give up and call her.“Hey, are you on your way?” I ask cheerily, when she answers the phone.“Um… what?” She says, her voice sounds strained.“J
I'm trying not to show everyone how stressed I am, but I'm so close to losing it and having a meltdown in the middle of class. I was stupid to take so much time off especially after everything thats been going on since I met Kenji. I've missed so much and now trying to catch up it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day. I lied to everyone, my tutor didn't recommend trying to catch up, she thinks that's an impossible tasks, so she suggested I drop out now and repeat the year next year. She tried reassuring me that loads of people do it. But I'm not loads of people, I'm me, and I don't give up. Besides, once I'm caught up, the stress will be over and I'll be able to spend a few weeks of the summer wherever Kenji happens to be, which will also mean getting to explore another part of the world. So it's all going to work out, if I could stop daydreaming about exploring the world that is.I've deliberately not looked at his itinerary, otherwise I know I'll start thinking about and