I was looking at the fantastic view of New York from Cross Magnates’ glass wall. My pulse was hammering, and I felt that familiar heavy lump in my chest. A surge of emotions was raging inside me. I recognized the strongest of them all. Pain. I smiled to myself. I welcomed it. It was my very old friend.
But I had to let it go. Along with its best friend—Anger. For years, these two had kept me company all throughout my miserable nights. But I didn’t need them now. My entire life had changed. My days were no longer cold and my nights were no longer lonely. Now, I had sunshine and warmth. Pain and anger need not be my company.
I had joy and love.
I had Brianne.
My heart swelled at the mere thought of her name. I remembered many years ago when I was just ten years old and my best friend introduced me to the cutest girl I’d ever seen. She was wearing a white sleeveless top and a pair of lime green shorts. Her long hair
My hands were shaking. I didn’t really realize how nervous I’d been until now. My heart was pounding inside my chest. And the pain I felt was nothing like I’d felt before. I can do this. I can’t do this. No! I can do this! Pain slowly built up in my abdomen again, and I knew that from there, it could only get worse. I closed my eyes and tried not to scream. “Let’s check again,” I heard a female’s voice say, and I didn’t even know who she was speaking with. Then I felt something down there. A finger, a hand, I don’t know. And then an unexplainable pain. “Son of a gun!” I shouted, and I crushed the fingers I was holding. I could only imagine the pain I was inflicting on that person right now, and I was beyond caring. I would do anything to share even half of my agony. Instead of cursing or writhing in pain, I felt the person beside me lean forward to give me a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, cherie,” I heard Travis’s
All families have a tradition. Sometimes it goes all the way back to their ancestors in the eighteenth century. Some families only started one in the twentieth century.I don’t know when my family tradition started. But one thing is for sure: This tradition doesn’t make a single bit of sense.But one cannot choose the family he or she will belong to. And you cannot choose which family traditions you will end up honoring in your life.My family has close ties. While some people can sit together at parties not even knowing they are related, I had to know each and every one of my cousins, aunts, and uncles. We have family reunions about twice a year. In between those reunions, my family engages in gossip about each other. They have the chance to confirm that gossip during the reunions.They especially focus on the women in our family who are approaching the age of thirty. Because it means, they are almost at the finish line.According to m
The Other Member of the FamilyMy parents are going to kill me! My best friend Cindy asked me to come with her to some kid’s party. I didn’t want to go, but she sort of begged me. I told my parents I was just going to hang out with some kids from school. Since I’ve always been a good, responsible kid, they said yes the first time I asked.“But be home before eleven, okay?” my mom reminded me.“I’m sure I won’t be long,” I said to her. And I had every intention of keeping that promise.Little did I know that Cindy had plans of her own. When we got there, she drank almost every glass of alcohol that was shoved into her hands. She danced to her heart’s desire and flirted with the older guys.I was babysitting her. We were still a couple of months away from being sixteen and I was pretty certain we shouldn’t be even be partying at all; lea
He was young and responsible…the epitome of sunshine. If one said angels do not walk on earth, I would disagree. Because Tom was one of them. He was always positive, always considerate of the people around him.One night, he didn’t come home. We were waiting for him at dinner. His phone was off. And then we received a call from the hospital, informing us that he was rushed to the emergency room.Tom had been racing when we didn’t even know he could race.It had been hazy, as if everything moved in fast forward. We rushed to the hospital and waited frantically as they operated on him.I found myself praying so hard. I loved Tom. He couldn’t die! He was only seventeen. He had so many things going for him. He was an angel. There were a lot more people in the world he could help, a lot more lives he could touch.Like Travis’s. Travis was a troubled kid when he met my brother. But then he was able to find a new family with
Chapter ThreeI waited in my living room anxiously. I wore a pair of white capris and black halter top. I didn’t know how to dress, but I was pretty sure I looked nice. Not that I wanted to impress Travis, but this was a practice date.I tied my hair in a neat pony, and then put on powder and gloss.The doorbell rang.Maria, our maid, ran to get it.“I’ll get it!” I said to her.She looked at my outfit and then smiled. “It’s nice that you’re going out on a date on your birthday.”I was going to correct her that it wasn’t really a date, but then I asked her instead, “How do I look?”She beamed at me. “Really lovely!” she replied. “Your date will not be able to take his eyes off you!”I giggled nervously. I doubted that was true. If it was any other guy, maybe. But not Travis Cross, who saw me in pajamas and shirts with
“How could I have my period now?” Cindy groaned as she dragged me along with her into a supermarket close to the beach.We were headed toward a beach party that afternoon. I was a junior and dating a guy named Liam. He was the latest football star and had a strong chance of being captain when he turned senior.“It’s only your first day. It won’t be that strong, so don’t freak about it,” I told her. “But let’s go buy your tampons.”I was heading for the feminine hygiene section when Cindy stopped me.“Don’t be in such a hurry!” she hissed. “Be discreet! I don’t want people to know I am having my period underneath my string bikini!”I laughed. “Then I’ll buy them for you. I only care about what Liam will say anyway. And I can always tell him the real story. He won’t tell on you.”“But still…let’s pretend we
It took a while after Liam before I dated seriously again. Senior year, I was in love with Trip Jacobs. He was the captain of the basketball team and one of the most popular guys on campus. He was cute with blond hair and hazel eyes. For months, my world revolved around basketball leagues. I never missed a game. I especially loved it when he shot three points, looked at the crowd at the bleachers where he knew I would be sitting, tapped his heart and then gave a thumbs-up sign. I knew that was meant for me.After Liam, I dated another guy before Trip. David was head of the debate team. He was smart and funny as well as cute. I thought we had a connection. We went out for the whole year. Then he went to a ski trip with his family. I saw less of him after that. And then one night, he had a glum look on his face and told me that he hadn’t been honest with me. He’d been seeing someone else behind my back. He ended it with her, but he wanted to be honest with me. He sa
Prom was a month away and my relationship with Trip was getting deeper. He was making some moves to be more intimate, and I was becoming more open to his advances.We were making out in his car one night. He nuzzled my neck and started to reach behind me to unhook my bra. I pushed him slightly.“Trip…wait,” I said gently. “Can we wait? Prom?”He looked at me for a while and then he nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s your…first time. It shouldn’t be in the back of a car.” He chuckled, then he leaned forward and gave me a smack on the lips.“Thank you,” I said.He turned to start the car. He was quiet the rest of the way, and somehow I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.He stopped in front of my house. “Good night.” He smiled at me. “So, I guess prom night’s it for us?”I smiled at him shyly and then I nodded. In
My hands were shaking. I didn’t really realize how nervous I’d been until now. My heart was pounding inside my chest. And the pain I felt was nothing like I’d felt before. I can do this. I can’t do this. No! I can do this! Pain slowly built up in my abdomen again, and I knew that from there, it could only get worse. I closed my eyes and tried not to scream. “Let’s check again,” I heard a female’s voice say, and I didn’t even know who she was speaking with. Then I felt something down there. A finger, a hand, I don’t know. And then an unexplainable pain. “Son of a gun!” I shouted, and I crushed the fingers I was holding. I could only imagine the pain I was inflicting on that person right now, and I was beyond caring. I would do anything to share even half of my agony. Instead of cursing or writhing in pain, I felt the person beside me lean forward to give me a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, cherie,” I heard Travis’s
I was looking at the fantastic view of New York from Cross Magnates’ glass wall. My pulse was hammering, and I felt that familiar heavy lump in my chest. A surge of emotions was raging inside me. I recognized the strongest of them all. Pain. I smiled to myself. I welcomed it. It was my very old friend.But I had to let it go. Along with its best friend—Anger. For years, these two had kept me company all throughout my miserable nights. But I didn’t need them now. My entire life had changed. My days were no longer cold and my nights were no longer lonely. Now, I had sunshine and warmth. Pain and anger need not be my company.I had joy and love.I had Brianne.My heart swelled at the mere thought of her name. I remembered many years ago when I was just ten years old and my best friend introduced me to the cutest girl I’d ever seen. She was wearing a white sleeveless top and a pair of lime green shorts. Her long hair
It was against Travis’s will, but I insisted on a hot bath. He joined me in the tub, and it was a glorious feeling. Until then, I still couldn’t believe that Travis and I were back together…back in each other’s arms. I didn’t need to lose him again. That finally, we’d laid down all our cards on the table, and taken off all our masks. We were starting afresh, and nothing could come between us again.I dressed in one of his pajama bottoms and shirts, which were too big for me. I had to tie the shirt in the waist area as it was big enough to be a dress.Travis’s room was huge. It had a royal bed in the center, the headboard and edges of which had elegant gold carvings. The couch set had matching carvings, and the fabric on them was lush and luxurious.“Would you like to have dinner here, or downstairs? Or perhaps you’d like to go out?”“I’d like to see the house, if that’s okay wi
I tried to breathe steadily. I opened my eyes slowly, almost afraid of what I would see before me. My dream about Tom had seemed so real, I thought I had died and he’d come to get me. I wouldn’t have minded that. I missed him. Now, more than ever, I missed the brother who had always brought the sunshine with him. God knows I needed a ray of sunshine in my life right now.But he wasn’t real. He was a dream. And in my dream, he promised I would live a long and happy life. So I couldn’t be dead. I was still breathing.When reality finally dawned on me, I realized that I was in a huge, dark room. There was light coming from the fireplace. A storm was still raging outside. A bolt of lightning would sometimes illuminate the room, followed by a bellow of thunder. I shivered even though I felt warm. I almost felt scared. And then I remembered that I wasn’t alone.I gently pulled away from the person holding me. The room that I was in was ve
My mother was ecstatic about the turnout of my exhibition. My pieces were sold out.“You were sold for fifty grand!” she told me excitedly.“What?”“Your portrait. The crying lady, as I like to call it, sold for fifty thousand bucks,” she said. “There were three bidders. But the woman who bought it meant business. Upped the price to fifty grand to eliminate competition. The rest of your pieces sold for at least ten grand. You’re going to be famous one day!”I smiled. “That’s great. But I’ll get the details of the sale later, Mom. I’m gonna be late for my flight.”I decided to go to Manhattan again. Eric had agreed to come with me. I could tell he was worried about me, too.My mother stared at me wearily. But she said, “Good luck.”I met Eric at the airport. “Are you worried about me, or are you here just to make sure I’m not goi
One night, I got a call from Eric.“Get your cute butt out of your apartment and let’s go have fun!” he said.I laughed. “Pick me up in thirty.”I smiled and then dialed Sarah’s number. “Be here in twenty! We’re going out.”A few minutes later, as I watched Eric’s car stop in front of my apartment and Sarah walk up the steps to meet me, my heart warmed up. If I could translate this into my painting, I realized, Eric and Sarah would be my first strokes of yellow.As we approached Eric’s car, he frowned when he saw Sarah.“What?” I asked him.“I didn’t know you were bringing your hump-every-stiff-pole friend.”Sarah stopped in her tracks and looked from me to him twice. And then she laughed innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you referring to yourself?” she asked Eric evenly.Eric rolled his eyes. “
Black.I started swirling black paint on my canvas. Allowing it to drip its own pattern down, taking shape, like it had a mind of its own.This color described my days and what I was now. An empty vessel with a black hole in the center.For weeks, I felt like I was floating into nothingness. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. I was taking one day at a time, taking each breath with the sole purpose of making it to the next. Nothing more. I was alive. But I wasn’t really living.That day I had woken up in the hospital, everything crumbled before me. It was the moment that I felt I’d lost my past, my present, even my future.The man that I loved walked out of my life with no hopes of ever coming back. The life I wanted to nurture inside me was gone, even before I could fully acknowledge its presence. And then the doctors said I had a small percentage of conceiving life inside me again.For a while, I bla
I was in shock. I almost didn’t speak to Sarah for the entire duration of our trip back to Connecticut. We went straight to my old apartment.It had been months since I last visited it. It was exactly the way it was when I’d left it. Sarah was kind enough to ask a maid to clean it up at least twice a month.I saw Christian’s spare key on the table. He must have left it there when he found out I was getting married. He left a note for me.Have a good life, Brianne. I hope he’s what you were looking for.Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a good life, all right. And Travis was everything I wanted and more. But I just didn’t know what to feel right now.“The good thing about it is that it’s Travis,” Sarah said quietly.“That’s not the point, is it?” I asked in a small voice. “Do you realize that I was drunk? I was not myself. I couldn’t even remember that nig
I lay on Sarah’s couch. I needed time to figure things out. I would have been jumping for joy now if the doctor had said I was one week pregnant. But no—I was seven weeks pregnant, which meant I was already pregnant when Travis and I had consummated our marriage a week ago. If the time she gave me was right, I had already been pregnant before I even married Travis, and I was pretty sure nothing had happened between us on our honeymoon.“Christian?” Sarah asked.“How? I mean, I broke up with him months before I got married.”“What were you doing around October twenty-fifth?”“I was busy preparing for a wedding!” I replied.Sarah took out her organizer and scanned through the dates. “Okay, October twenty-second, we all checked in to the hotel in preparation for your wedding. Are you sure you didn’t see Chris round about that time?”I shook my head. &ldq