Prom was a month away and my relationship with Trip was getting deeper. He was making some moves to be more intimate, and I was becoming more open to his advances.
We were making out in his car one night. He nuzzled my neck and started to reach behind me to unhook my bra. I pushed him slightly.
“Trip…wait,” I said gently. “Can we wait? Prom?”
He looked at me for a while and then he nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s your…first time. It shouldn’t be in the back of a car.” He chuckled, then he leaned forward and gave me a smack on the lips.
“Thank you,” I said.
He turned to start the car. He was quiet the rest of the way, and somehow I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.
He stopped in front of my house. “Good night.” He smiled at me. “So, I guess prom night’s it for us?”
I smiled at him shyly and then I nodded. In
Trip and his girlfriend were almost expelled from school. It turned out they couldn’t dress fast enough to hide the evidence. Rumor had it that Trip still had a condom on his thing when they were escorted to the principal’s office. He was kicked off the basketball team.I’ll bet he was furious with me. I could see him throwing daggers at me whenever he saw me walk the corridors. I was devastated, but I refused to let people see how Trip broke me.Prom was two weeks away. I was dateless and, needless to say, I’d still be a virgin by then. But then I thought Trip’s plan to defile me at Prom was not something I should have been looking forward to anyway. I thought I should say goodbye to my daydreams and fantasies of losing myself in bed with a man in a romantic kind of way.Maybe this time I should be cynical, I thought. Maybe I should take control so guys will not run me over. The problem with me is that I trust too much, too soon. E
Everybody forgot about the girl whose body was dumped a few miles from our town. She wasn’t a local. She was tattooed, and there was evidence of use of drugs. Her body was probably dumped after an accidental overdose, as there were no signs of violence on her, not even bruises.I was glad, because if there was a murderer in town, Travis would have to hang around to make sure I was safe. And I didn’t want to see him again after that night. I was too embarrassed, too ashamed.I believed he felt exactly the same. He was gone when I woke up the next morning. Therese, my maid, told me that Travis sat on the couch all night that night. He waited until the house was up at sunrise, and then he left.“I was startled to find him sitting like a statue in the couch. He was not moving, lost in his thoughts,” she had said. “He didn’t look like he slept at all.” Well, he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t able to sleep that nig
I looked at my reflection nervously. I was wearing a bright lavender gown that hugged my body to perfection, with a skirt that flowed flirtatiously a few inches above my knees.I hadn’t spoken to Travis since that day he told me he was taking me to prom. I found out later that Trip had been making bets with his friends about who would be able to pop my cherry at prom. I said yes to Alex, who was more than willing to do the job that Trip was supposed to have done had I not caught him on top of that cheerleader. It was all a bet for him. Alex was cunning enough to use flattery and poetry to lure me into his lair. They had been bantering about it in the locker room, cheering that prom was the day. Trip had apparently been cajoling Alex into taping the whole thing to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on their bet.The whole campus must have known their evil plans. I’m pretty sure that, had Alex caught our fornicating on tape, there would have been a sc
I was excited to start my new life. For once, I would live in a house where I did not have to wonder when my parents were coming home, or if they were coming home at all.The last time I’d seen them was graduation day. They decided we would be a family once more. It was also the first time I’d seen Travis since…since he started staying away from me. He didn't go to the stage to take his diploma. But he appeared out of nowhere just as I was posing with my parents for a photo.Emotions overwhelmed me. After that…night…he kept a good distance from me. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, but I had to remember that it wasn’t me who had a problem with what happened between us. I knew I had to respect his decision and the space he asked for.I missed him like crazy and I almost regret what I asked him to do for me. I realized that though it was the most amazing night of my life, worth every second of giving up my &l
Travis took me to a private house party that night. It was hosted in a six-bedroom house owned by one of the guys he knew from one of his classes. They served alcohol. We shouldn’t be drinking, but I figured that Travis was with me, a few glasses of margarita wouldn’t hurt. But I didn’t realize I have very low alcohol tolerance, I think I almost passed out after my fourth glass. Travis decided it wouldn’t be good for me to come back to my dorm looking witless, and he thought it was better for me to spend the night in his apartment. I think he was right.When I woke up again, it was already afternoon. I slipped out of bed and went to Travis’s luxurious bathroom to take a shower. I put on the same jeans I had worn the day before and the extra halter-top I could fit into my bag before I left home.I was trying to zip the back of my blouse, but somehow the zipper was giving me trouble.“Damn it!” I cursed. The thing about li
I went home for spring break. The house was the same as it was when I left it; my parents still weren’t around. Cindy decided not to go back that break, so I was alone at home and totally bored.It was only my first day back. I laid down on my bed and played with my phone. On impulse, I pressed the button to dial Travis’s number.“Everything well?” he asked after two rings.“I’m so bored!” I complained.“What do you want to do?”“No idea! Are you busy?”“Nope. Just playing pool,” he replied. He didn't say anything for a while, and then he said, “Okay, I’ll give you something to do tonight.”“What?”“Pack your bags. I’m taking you to the lake house tomorrow.”Sheer excitement went through me. “You’re not joking, are you?”“Do I look like I have a sense of humor?&rdquo
Two years later, my parents’ divorce was finalized. My mother would take permanent residency in Manhattan; my father would station himself in Boston. No battle for custody—I was already of age. My parents decided to give the house to me instead of selling it and dividing the profits between them.I was angry. My parents had decided to abandon the house…the happy house where Thomas and I had grown up! Where they last saw Tom! I refused to let the memories go. They could divide all their properties except this house…I could not believe they were walking away from it and all the memories it had.I was in my room, and as always, I decided to channel my emotions onto the canvas. I didn’t know what I was painting. But it was a mixture of dark blues, blacks, violets, swirling around in angry patterns. I was on the brink of crying. That day marked the end, not just of a chapter of my life, but of a whole story.I swirled the violet paint
Wednesday, I surprised Chris by showing up in his office. He was having a chat with one of his lady colleagues. He was surprised when he saw me at the door of his office.“Brianne!” he beamed. He came to me and gave me a kiss. “I thought we weren’t meeting until seven.”“I thought I should pick you up for a change,” I said. “I hope it’s not a bad time.”He shook his head. “It’s perfect!” He turned to the blonde sitting in his office. “Alana, this is my girlfriend, Brianne.”Alana was a beautiful blonde with startling blue eyes. She was wearing a pencil-cut suit that hugged her body to perfection. She smiled at me brightly. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. I’ve heard so much about you.”She extended her hand to me and I shook it. Standing beside Alana made me feel out of place. I was wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans and an
My hands were shaking. I didn’t really realize how nervous I’d been until now. My heart was pounding inside my chest. And the pain I felt was nothing like I’d felt before. I can do this. I can’t do this. No! I can do this! Pain slowly built up in my abdomen again, and I knew that from there, it could only get worse. I closed my eyes and tried not to scream. “Let’s check again,” I heard a female’s voice say, and I didn’t even know who she was speaking with. Then I felt something down there. A finger, a hand, I don’t know. And then an unexplainable pain. “Son of a gun!” I shouted, and I crushed the fingers I was holding. I could only imagine the pain I was inflicting on that person right now, and I was beyond caring. I would do anything to share even half of my agony. Instead of cursing or writhing in pain, I felt the person beside me lean forward to give me a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, cherie,” I heard Travis’s
I was looking at the fantastic view of New York from Cross Magnates’ glass wall. My pulse was hammering, and I felt that familiar heavy lump in my chest. A surge of emotions was raging inside me. I recognized the strongest of them all. Pain. I smiled to myself. I welcomed it. It was my very old friend.But I had to let it go. Along with its best friend—Anger. For years, these two had kept me company all throughout my miserable nights. But I didn’t need them now. My entire life had changed. My days were no longer cold and my nights were no longer lonely. Now, I had sunshine and warmth. Pain and anger need not be my company.I had joy and love.I had Brianne.My heart swelled at the mere thought of her name. I remembered many years ago when I was just ten years old and my best friend introduced me to the cutest girl I’d ever seen. She was wearing a white sleeveless top and a pair of lime green shorts. Her long hair
It was against Travis’s will, but I insisted on a hot bath. He joined me in the tub, and it was a glorious feeling. Until then, I still couldn’t believe that Travis and I were back together…back in each other’s arms. I didn’t need to lose him again. That finally, we’d laid down all our cards on the table, and taken off all our masks. We were starting afresh, and nothing could come between us again.I dressed in one of his pajama bottoms and shirts, which were too big for me. I had to tie the shirt in the waist area as it was big enough to be a dress.Travis’s room was huge. It had a royal bed in the center, the headboard and edges of which had elegant gold carvings. The couch set had matching carvings, and the fabric on them was lush and luxurious.“Would you like to have dinner here, or downstairs? Or perhaps you’d like to go out?”“I’d like to see the house, if that’s okay wi
I tried to breathe steadily. I opened my eyes slowly, almost afraid of what I would see before me. My dream about Tom had seemed so real, I thought I had died and he’d come to get me. I wouldn’t have minded that. I missed him. Now, more than ever, I missed the brother who had always brought the sunshine with him. God knows I needed a ray of sunshine in my life right now.But he wasn’t real. He was a dream. And in my dream, he promised I would live a long and happy life. So I couldn’t be dead. I was still breathing.When reality finally dawned on me, I realized that I was in a huge, dark room. There was light coming from the fireplace. A storm was still raging outside. A bolt of lightning would sometimes illuminate the room, followed by a bellow of thunder. I shivered even though I felt warm. I almost felt scared. And then I remembered that I wasn’t alone.I gently pulled away from the person holding me. The room that I was in was ve
My mother was ecstatic about the turnout of my exhibition. My pieces were sold out.“You were sold for fifty grand!” she told me excitedly.“What?”“Your portrait. The crying lady, as I like to call it, sold for fifty thousand bucks,” she said. “There were three bidders. But the woman who bought it meant business. Upped the price to fifty grand to eliminate competition. The rest of your pieces sold for at least ten grand. You’re going to be famous one day!”I smiled. “That’s great. But I’ll get the details of the sale later, Mom. I’m gonna be late for my flight.”I decided to go to Manhattan again. Eric had agreed to come with me. I could tell he was worried about me, too.My mother stared at me wearily. But she said, “Good luck.”I met Eric at the airport. “Are you worried about me, or are you here just to make sure I’m not goi
One night, I got a call from Eric.“Get your cute butt out of your apartment and let’s go have fun!” he said.I laughed. “Pick me up in thirty.”I smiled and then dialed Sarah’s number. “Be here in twenty! We’re going out.”A few minutes later, as I watched Eric’s car stop in front of my apartment and Sarah walk up the steps to meet me, my heart warmed up. If I could translate this into my painting, I realized, Eric and Sarah would be my first strokes of yellow.As we approached Eric’s car, he frowned when he saw Sarah.“What?” I asked him.“I didn’t know you were bringing your hump-every-stiff-pole friend.”Sarah stopped in her tracks and looked from me to him twice. And then she laughed innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you referring to yourself?” she asked Eric evenly.Eric rolled his eyes. “
Black.I started swirling black paint on my canvas. Allowing it to drip its own pattern down, taking shape, like it had a mind of its own.This color described my days and what I was now. An empty vessel with a black hole in the center.For weeks, I felt like I was floating into nothingness. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. I was taking one day at a time, taking each breath with the sole purpose of making it to the next. Nothing more. I was alive. But I wasn’t really living.That day I had woken up in the hospital, everything crumbled before me. It was the moment that I felt I’d lost my past, my present, even my future.The man that I loved walked out of my life with no hopes of ever coming back. The life I wanted to nurture inside me was gone, even before I could fully acknowledge its presence. And then the doctors said I had a small percentage of conceiving life inside me again.For a while, I bla
I was in shock. I almost didn’t speak to Sarah for the entire duration of our trip back to Connecticut. We went straight to my old apartment.It had been months since I last visited it. It was exactly the way it was when I’d left it. Sarah was kind enough to ask a maid to clean it up at least twice a month.I saw Christian’s spare key on the table. He must have left it there when he found out I was getting married. He left a note for me.Have a good life, Brianne. I hope he’s what you were looking for.Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a good life, all right. And Travis was everything I wanted and more. But I just didn’t know what to feel right now.“The good thing about it is that it’s Travis,” Sarah said quietly.“That’s not the point, is it?” I asked in a small voice. “Do you realize that I was drunk? I was not myself. I couldn’t even remember that nig
I lay on Sarah’s couch. I needed time to figure things out. I would have been jumping for joy now if the doctor had said I was one week pregnant. But no—I was seven weeks pregnant, which meant I was already pregnant when Travis and I had consummated our marriage a week ago. If the time she gave me was right, I had already been pregnant before I even married Travis, and I was pretty sure nothing had happened between us on our honeymoon.“Christian?” Sarah asked.“How? I mean, I broke up with him months before I got married.”“What were you doing around October twenty-fifth?”“I was busy preparing for a wedding!” I replied.Sarah took out her organizer and scanned through the dates. “Okay, October twenty-second, we all checked in to the hotel in preparation for your wedding. Are you sure you didn’t see Chris round about that time?”I shook my head. &ldq