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Chapter Eleven
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Travis took me to a private house party that night. It was hosted in a six-bedroom house owned by one of the guys he knew from one of his classes. They served alcohol. We shouldn’t be drinking, but I figured that Travis was with me, a few glasses of margarita wouldn’t hurt. But I didn’t realize I have very low alcohol tolerance, I think I almost passed out after my fourth glass. Travis decided it wouldn’t be good for me to come back to my dorm looking witless, and he thought it was better for me to spend the night in his apartment. I think he was right.
When I woke up again, it was already afternoon. I slipped out of bed and went to Travis’s luxurious bathroom to take a shower. I put on the same jeans I had worn the day before and the extra halter-top I could fit into my bag before I left home.
I was trying to zip the back of my blouse, but somehow the zipper was giving me trouble.
“Damn it!” I cursed. The thing about li
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Two years later, my parents’ divorce was finalized. My mother would take permanent residency in Manhattan; my father would station himself in Boston. No battle for custody—I was already of age. My parents decided to give the house to me instead of selling it and dividing the profits between them.I was angry. My parents had decided to abandon the house…the happy house where Thomas and I had grown up! Where they last saw Tom! I refused to let the memories go. They could divide all their properties except this house…I could not believe they were walking away from it and all the memories it had.I was in my room, and as always, I decided to channel my emotions onto the canvas. I didn’t know what I was painting. But it was a mixture of dark blues, blacks, violets, swirling around in angry patterns. I was on the brink of crying. That day marked the end, not just of a chapter of my life, but of a whole story.I swirled the violet paint
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Wednesday, I surprised Chris by showing up in his office. He was having a chat with one of his lady colleagues. He was surprised when he saw me at the door of his office.“Brianne!” he beamed. He came to me and gave me a kiss. “I thought we weren’t meeting until seven.”“I thought I should pick you up for a change,” I said. “I hope it’s not a bad time.”He shook his head. “It’s perfect!” He turned to the blonde sitting in his office. “Alana, this is my girlfriend, Brianne.”Alana was a beautiful blonde with startling blue eyes. She was wearing a pencil-cut suit that hugged her body to perfection. She smiled at me brightly. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. I’ve heard so much about you.”She extended her hand to me and I shook it. Standing beside Alana made me feel out of place. I was wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans and an
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We had a dance show the next day. Before going to the theater, I dropped by Chris’s apartment to pick up some of my stuff. I’d left some of my dance clothes at his place.He wasn’t there, but the girl named Alana was. I was tempted to ask her what she was doing in Chris’s apartment, but I guess I didn’t have to be a genius to guess that.I was even more heartbroken than I was before. We’d been broken up less than twenty-four hours, and there was already another woman in his house.Sarah was close to berating me for showing up a few minutes late.“I dropped by Chris’s apartment to get my stuff,” I said, motioning at the box on the floor.“Wow! That does not look good!”I laughed humorlessly. “It doesn’t. But I can’t think of that now! I need to dress up!”I focused on my dance pieces. I had one with Sarah and some guys. It was a contemporary piece
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When we got back to the hotel, Travis and I sat on the bed and talked. We were…well, basically planning our future. Although we were not lovers, we were betrothed and whether we liked it or not, we had lives that we would live together, for the next two years, minimum.“You said you were thinking of moving cities,” he said.“Yes.”“Then come to Manhattan with me,” he said. “You can manage your gallery there instead. You can paint all you want. I’m pretty sure there are dance studios that would be happy to accommodate you.”“That sounds like a plan.” I smiled. I found that proposal interesting.“I have an apartment there. You can move in with me.”“Why? Can’t I rent my own?”“Useless,” Travis replied. His tone told me that he thought my idea was ridiculous. “When do you intend to get married anyway? You’re appr
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In the mornings, I made sure I was up to make coffee for Travis before he left for work. I did his tie and helped him put on his suit.He smiled at me. “You’ll do a good job at being Mrs. Cross,” he teased. “I’m beginning to get used to this.”I laughed. “And who said you were difficult to live with?”Travis rarely came home at eleven in the evenings anymore. Most of the time, it was earlier than that, and we had dinner together.One night, he came home late and I had fallen asleep on the living room couch waiting for him. When I woke up again, I was already back in the bed with Travis snoring quietly on the couch.I had a chat on the phone with Karl one Friday night. He warned me that Travis was in a foul mood. He’d had a meeting with his father, and it didn’t go well.“Like how bad?”“Really bad. Travis was pushing his father to the wall, making him realiz
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The next Friday night, I was having coffee with Eric. He was on a business trip in Manhattan. He figured he’d see me first before he went back to Connecticut.We were interrupted when my phone rang. My heart pounded when I saw Chris’s number on the screen.“Chris. What’s he calling me for?”“Realizing what a big fool he’s been?” Eric suggested.I answered the call. “What?”I heard Chris’s intake of breath on the other line. “Brianne…” His voice was sober. “I’ve been waiting for you in your apartment.”“What? Who told you to go there? I should have changed the locks! I cannot believe you had the nerve to actually use your keys!”He didn’t say anything for a while. He took another deep breath. “Are you coming home anytime soon? It’s been nearly two weeks now. And I see no signs of you. I dropped by the dan
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I went to Travis’s office on Monday. Since Karl wouldn’t be in, I volunteered to help him out in case he needed assistance. But when I got there, I was the one surprised. There was an easel at one corner of his office, and the coffee table had a box of Godiva chocolates and a bouquet of roses on top of it.“Is it always like this?” I asked him, looking at the lovely roses.He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I have a special visitor today. I thought she’d like to indulge in a box of sweets.”I laughed and turned around so I could face him. “And the easel is for?”He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist again. “So you can paint or draw and leave me alone to my work.”“I can paint at home—why did you agree that I come here if you weren’t going to need me anyway?”He shrugged. “I just want you to be here.” He hugged
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My hands were shaking. I didn’t really realize how nervous I’d been until now. My heart was pounding inside my chest. And the pain I felt was nothing like I’d felt before. I can do this. I can’t do this. No! I can do this! Pain slowly built up in my abdomen again, and I knew that from there, it could only get worse. I closed my eyes and tried not to scream. “Let’s check again,” I heard a female’s voice say, and I didn’t even know who she was speaking with. Then I felt something down there. A finger, a hand, I don’t know. And then an unexplainable pain. “Son of a gun!” I shouted, and I crushed the fingers I was holding. I could only imagine the pain I was inflicting on that person right now, and I was beyond caring. I would do anything to share even half of my agony. Instead of cursing or writhing in pain, I felt the person beside me lean forward to give me a kiss on the forehead. “I love you, cherie,” I heard Travis’s
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I was looking at the fantastic view of New York from Cross Magnates’ glass wall. My pulse was hammering, and I felt that familiar heavy lump in my chest. A surge of emotions was raging inside me. I recognized the strongest of them all. Pain. I smiled to myself. I welcomed it. It was my very old friend.But I had to let it go. Along with its best friend—Anger. For years, these two had kept me company all throughout my miserable nights. But I didn’t need them now. My entire life had changed. My days were no longer cold and my nights were no longer lonely. Now, I had sunshine and warmth. Pain and anger need not be my company.I had joy and love.I had Brianne.My heart swelled at the mere thought of her name. I remembered many years ago when I was just ten years old and my best friend introduced me to the cutest girl I’d ever seen. She was wearing a white sleeveless top and a pair of lime green shorts. Her long hair
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It was against Travis’s will, but I insisted on a hot bath. He joined me in the tub, and it was a glorious feeling. Until then, I still couldn’t believe that Travis and I were back together…back in each other’s arms. I didn’t need to lose him again. That finally, we’d laid down all our cards on the table, and taken off all our masks. We were starting afresh, and nothing could come between us again.I dressed in one of his pajama bottoms and shirts, which were too big for me. I had to tie the shirt in the waist area as it was big enough to be a dress.Travis’s room was huge. It had a royal bed in the center, the headboard and edges of which had elegant gold carvings. The couch set had matching carvings, and the fabric on them was lush and luxurious.“Would you like to have dinner here, or downstairs? Or perhaps you’d like to go out?”“I’d like to see the house, if that’s okay wi
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I tried to breathe steadily. I opened my eyes slowly, almost afraid of what I would see before me. My dream about Tom had seemed so real, I thought I had died and he’d come to get me. I wouldn’t have minded that. I missed him. Now, more than ever, I missed the brother who had always brought the sunshine with him. God knows I needed a ray of sunshine in my life right now.But he wasn’t real. He was a dream. And in my dream, he promised I would live a long and happy life. So I couldn’t be dead. I was still breathing.When reality finally dawned on me, I realized that I was in a huge, dark room. There was light coming from the fireplace. A storm was still raging outside. A bolt of lightning would sometimes illuminate the room, followed by a bellow of thunder. I shivered even though I felt warm. I almost felt scared. And then I remembered that I wasn’t alone.I gently pulled away from the person holding me. The room that I was in was ve
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My mother was ecstatic about the turnout of my exhibition. My pieces were sold out.“You were sold for fifty grand!” she told me excitedly.“What?”“Your portrait. The crying lady, as I like to call it, sold for fifty thousand bucks,” she said. “There were three bidders. But the woman who bought it meant business. Upped the price to fifty grand to eliminate competition. The rest of your pieces sold for at least ten grand. You’re going to be famous one day!”I smiled. “That’s great. But I’ll get the details of the sale later, Mom. I’m gonna be late for my flight.”I decided to go to Manhattan again. Eric had agreed to come with me. I could tell he was worried about me, too.My mother stared at me wearily. But she said, “Good luck.”I met Eric at the airport. “Are you worried about me, or are you here just to make sure I’m not goi
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One night, I got a call from Eric.“Get your cute butt out of your apartment and let’s go have fun!” he said.I laughed. “Pick me up in thirty.”I smiled and then dialed Sarah’s number. “Be here in twenty! We’re going out.”A few minutes later, as I watched Eric’s car stop in front of my apartment and Sarah walk up the steps to meet me, my heart warmed up. If I could translate this into my painting, I realized, Eric and Sarah would be my first strokes of yellow.As we approached Eric’s car, he frowned when he saw Sarah.“What?” I asked him.“I didn’t know you were bringing your hump-every-stiff-pole friend.”Sarah stopped in her tracks and looked from me to him twice. And then she laughed innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you referring to yourself?” she asked Eric evenly.Eric rolled his eyes. “
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Black.I started swirling black paint on my canvas. Allowing it to drip its own pattern down, taking shape, like it had a mind of its own.This color described my days and what I was now. An empty vessel with a black hole in the center.For weeks, I felt like I was floating into nothingness. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. I was taking one day at a time, taking each breath with the sole purpose of making it to the next. Nothing more. I was alive. But I wasn’t really living.That day I had woken up in the hospital, everything crumbled before me. It was the moment that I felt I’d lost my past, my present, even my future.The man that I loved walked out of my life with no hopes of ever coming back. The life I wanted to nurture inside me was gone, even before I could fully acknowledge its presence. And then the doctors said I had a small percentage of conceiving life inside me again.For a while, I bla
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I was in shock. I almost didn’t speak to Sarah for the entire duration of our trip back to Connecticut. We went straight to my old apartment.It had been months since I last visited it. It was exactly the way it was when I’d left it. Sarah was kind enough to ask a maid to clean it up at least twice a month.I saw Christian’s spare key on the table. He must have left it there when he found out I was getting married. He left a note for me.Have a good life, Brianne. I hope he’s what you were looking for.Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a good life, all right. And Travis was everything I wanted and more. But I just didn’t know what to feel right now.“The good thing about it is that it’s Travis,” Sarah said quietly.“That’s not the point, is it?” I asked in a small voice. “Do you realize that I was drunk? I was not myself. I couldn’t even remember that nig
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I lay on Sarah’s couch. I needed time to figure things out. I would have been jumping for joy now if the doctor had said I was one week pregnant. But no—I was seven weeks pregnant, which meant I was already pregnant when Travis and I had consummated our marriage a week ago. If the time she gave me was right, I had already been pregnant before I even married Travis, and I was pretty sure nothing had happened between us on our honeymoon.“Christian?” Sarah asked.“How? I mean, I broke up with him months before I got married.”“What were you doing around October twenty-fifth?”“I was busy preparing for a wedding!” I replied.Sarah took out her organizer and scanned through the dates. “Okay, October twenty-second, we all checked in to the hotel in preparation for your wedding. Are you sure you didn’t see Chris round about that time?”I shook my head. &ldq
