Chapter 1

Madeleine

“Mommy, are you a hooker?” Betsy suddenly asks.

The brush falls from my hand and lands on the cluttered vanity with a loud thump. The question stops me cold. 

Her voice is soft, so innocent, but she’s red in the face, and her little lips are pressed firmly together when she crosses her arms over her chest.

“Whu- uh- where did you hear that nonsense? Of course I’m not a hooker.”

“School. Riana says hookers go to hell. Are you going to hell?”

“No,” I answer, “and that’s not a nice thing to say. It’s not our decision to make."

Betsy jumps up with her toy dog in her arms, and starts to bounce on the bed. “Hell,  hell, hell, hell-hell-hell,” she sings. “Mommy’s going to heeeeell.”

A wave of rage crashes over me. Blood roars through my veins, making me dizzy and short of breath. “Stop it!” I scream, much louder than I want to.

“No!” She throws her dog at my head and jumps off the bed. She plants her fist in her hip and stomps her foot to the tune of, “I hate you! I hate you! No one likes me because of you. A dirty… a dirty…” she can’t think of a bad enough word to describe me. “A dirty, hell hooker. Riana says that’s why I don’t have a daddy. ”

The rage and sorrow that mixes inside me like a living tornado threatens to burst out of me. I make a grab for Betsy, but she easily dodges me.

“Only bad people say such things. Don’t listen to them. I won’t work at that place much longer. I’ll get another job, and then we’ll leave. You’ll have real friends. Someone who doesn’t bully you. I promise”

Betsy burst into tears, now refusing to talk to me at all.

I let out a heavy sigh, and glance at the cheap little golden watch around my wrist - a gift from a past long since forgotten.

It’s getting late, and if I don’t leave right now, I won’t make it to work in time. “I have to go.  Miss Clarissa will check in with you later tonight. I’ll bring you some chocolate muffins for breakfast, all right?” 

“No!” Betsy lashes out. “Don’t go!”

She pulls at my hand, trying to hold me back

I can’t afford to lose my job. It might not be glamorous but it pays the bills. I have almost cleared all my debts and I finally have enough for Betsy’s medical expenses. I can’t quit when I’m so close to a way out. 

“I have to… I’m sorry, baby.” 

“No!. I… I… I will run away. I’ll find a new mommy. A better one.”

It breaks my heart, but I extract myself from her grip, and gently kiss Betsy’s forehead then hurry to leave before she sees my tears.

An alarm warbles in the distance. It happens all the time here. It’s a constant reminder that our lives are a mess.

The tears start flowing when I close the door. I can’t stop them anymore. I have to stay strong for Betsy so I can give her a better life. I have to.

But it’s too much.

I long for the time when my life was simpler. When I had less responsibility and I didn’t have to drag this burden with me.

There was even a man once. We knew each other for just a fleeting moment in time. We only had two weeks, but I fell head over heels for him. 

Dom.

I’ve never forgotten him. He was as sweet and gentle as any person could be, but I never had the courage to confess my feelings. It was forbidden. But I’ll never forget him - the times we snuck into the gardens and we’d sit together, reading scripture, talking about our hopes and dreams.

I remember the way he always gazed at me with his soft, dark eyes, as if was staring at a miracle. Then, one day, he gave me the little watch, and announced. “I have to leave. I won’t be back.”

I knew then that I wasn’t good enough for him. That’s why he left.

And still, I cling to him. He’s everything this cruel world I live in isn’t.

I carved his name into the back of my watch so I could see it when life threatens to knock me down. When it gets too difficult. The thought of him gives me strength. 

**

The casino smells like cigarette smoke, cheap cologne, and booze. It’s the kind of smell that sticks to your skin no matter how many showers you take.

Before I walk inside, I take a deep breath, taking my “outside” skin off and putting on my “inside” skin. I smooth my expression into a practiced calm, a mask I’ve perfected over the months.

Once I’m through the employee door, the chaos hits me. The escorts are flitting around, their heels clicking as they shout to each other. The air hums with tension - the girls are busier and more agitated than usual.

“What’s going on?” I ask Bridgette as I walk into the locker room to stash my coat and purse.

She glances toward the casino floor, lowering her voice. “Rafael Andoletti is here,” she whispers.

The force of his name lands like a grenade between us.

The Andoletti family runs this city. From the docks to the casinos, they control everything and everyone  – the politicians, the police, even the press.

Rafael is the kind of man whose name is spoken in hushed tones. 

The last time he was here, I heard, three people died by his direct order. One of them was forced to eat sixteen bullets simply because the gun accidentally pointed at Rafael when the man put it on the table. And that happened when he was so young - less than a month after he had taken over as Don from his father. 

His fearful reputation only grew in the aftermath. A small offense can easily cost several lives.

“What is he doing here?” I ask my friend.

I’ve worked at the casino for almost a year. I’ve never seen Andoletti here. “It’s his biggest casino,” she says. “He comes here for special occasions.”

I look toward the VIP section. The glass doors are shut, velvet ropes in place. Inside, men in tailored suits sweep the room with detectors. The excited whispers among the staff grow louder.

Bridgette stops me and leans over, her voice low and conspiratorial. “Stay out of their way,” she warns, “they are dangerous, and the men can’t keep their hands to themselves. Just ignore them. You’ll be fine.”

I nod, my eyes flicking back to the closed doors. There’s nothing to see now - the heavy velvet drapes have been drawn - but the tension lingers, seeping into every corner of the casino.

“Maddie!” Lola’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. She grabs my arm, yanking me out of sight of Bruce, the manager.

“What are you doing?” I hiss, glancing toward Bruce whose hawk-like eyes are locked on a player at one of the tables. “The boss will kill me if I’m not at my table before the next round begins.”

“Please,” Lola whispers, desperation in her tone. “I need a favour.” I notice her hand dropping to her stomach, and she winces a little as she goes pale..

“Girl!” a player snaps from my table. “Are we playing or what?”

“Just a second!” I call back, irritation rising in my chest. The commotion is drawing Bruce’s attention. I turn to Lola. “What do you want? Make it quick.”

“I need you to cover for me in the VIP lounge tonight,” she rattles of her request.

“What?” I hiss. “No. What about my table?”

“I’ll deal for you tonight. Where do you think I started?”

“I don’t know, Lola. Bruce won’t like it.”

“Please, Maddie,” she begs, clutching my arm tighter. Her voice lowers, trembling. “I’m pregnant.”

The words hit me like a bucket of ice water. I blink at her. “What?”

“It's Bruce’s baby,” she says bitterly. “He wants me to get rid of it. I can’t… I don’t feel good, Maddie. I need you to do this for me.”

I stare at her, my mind reeling. My gut reaction is to say no, to shove her away and go to my table before Bruce notices I’m gone. 

But then she looks at me, really looks at me, and her next words cut me to the bone. “You have a daughter, don’t you? Aren’t mothers like us supposed to help each other?”

Damn her. She knows exactly how to hit me where it hurts. I hesitate, torn between fury and guilt, but I know I’ve already made up my mind.

“I’ll speak to Bruce,” she pleads. “But if I… what if I throw up all over Rafael Andoletti? Best case scenario, I’ll lose a limb.”

“Fine,” I snap. “But you owe me.”

“Thank you, thank you,” she breathes, clutching my hands before running off.

He’s just a man, I tell myself. Just another temptation in a world full of traps.

I open the door to the employee lounge, my heels clicking against the polished floor as I head in the direction of the other girls.

Everyone has heard stories about Rafael, but he’s never in the news, never makes the papers. No one even knows what the man looks like.

But we know him. The people of Ashbourne. Every day, we see the havoc his mere presence causes.

I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t even be in the same sphere of existence as Rafael Andoletti. He is dangerous, everyone told me, the kind of man who’ll hurt you.

But I never knew they meant he’d ruin my heart.