LOGINShare
Thirteen: Taleen
Last Updated:
2021-02-13 21:09:56“Hey, mama! I miss you so much!” I gush over the phone as I talk to my mum.
“Hey, sweetie! I miss you too! I hope you’re doing okay,” she says; I can already feel her smiling. Just hearing her voice makes me feel homesick and makes my stomach grumble for her food.
“I’m all good, no worries,” I assure her, not wanting to mention my headaches or the pain I’ve been experiencing lately in my muscles.
“Are you free next Saturday? Because if you are, we’re thinking about visiting you,” she tells me, causing my mouth to turn into a wide smile.
“I don’t have anything! You can definitely come and please, bring me tabbouleh, man’oucheh, and samosas with you.&rd
Related chapters
Inevitably Captivated Fourteen: Taleen
Throughout the whole week, Avery’s words kept replaying in the back of my mind, making me question every single detail about my friendship with Josh. Is it really worth it? Am I willing to put myself through this nerve-racking journey? Why am I even willing to do that? Billions of questions are rushing in my head and I don’t know how to answer any of them. I brush every single thought away and get up to get dressed. My parents are coming today along with my sister; this is the highlight of my day. After going through my closet for five minutes, I pick my denim jacket, a white top, and my black pants. After getting dressed, I leave my hair down, not doing anything with it but fixing my bangs. They’re supposed to be here in thirty minutes or less. I walk out of the dorms building and make my way to the yard. I pick my phone out of my pocket to m
Last Updated : 2021-02-14Inevitably Captivated Fifteen: Taleen
“So,you two think I should talk to him soon?” Layan asks Lisa and me. Currently, the three of us are awake, watching a movie on Netflixwhile our backs are pressed against the wall that Lisa’s bed is gluedto, but we’re not really paying attention to it. Lisa and I are preoccupied with convincing Layan to talk to Kyle.“Yes!” Lisa and I exclaim, throwing our hands up in the air. She is so scared of talking to him and I don’t understand why. Layan has always been the one who is known for her spontanei
Last Updated : 2021-02-15Inevitably Captivated Sixteen: Taleen
I watch the train as it starts moving away from the platform and once it completely departs, I walk away. I’m happy that I had the chance to spend more time with Layan but saying goodbye to her wasn’t easy. I’m never good at goodbyes. Each time I have to let go of someone I love even for a temporary time, my heart clenches and a lump constantly forms in my throat. I hate goodbyes. I hate the dull feeling and the ache they bring to my heart. I take the bus back to the dorms and when I walk into the room, I don’t find Lisa. Sighing, I take a small Tupperware box and two foil plates out of the small cabinet where we store our kitchen tools. I scoop some of the tabbouleh in the box and I put six samosas in one of the foil plates and in the other, I put man’oucheh. After covering all of them with plastic wrap, I check my appearance in the mirror.&nbs
Last Updated : 2021-02-16Inevitably Captivated Seventeen: Josh
I messed up! I terribly messed up and I don’t know how to fix what I have done. Yes, I was mad at her for barely acknowledging me during the past few days, but this wasn’t the way I should have discussed things with her. I shouldn’t have scared her like that.I should have talked with her calmly, now she’s not going to look at my face ever again.Way to go Joshua! You’ve done an amazing job at trying to win her.I succeeded in scaring her away at the time in which I’m dying to keep her close to me. I don’t know what I can do to show her that I’m sorry.She left three hours
Last Updated : 2021-02-16Inevitably Captivated Eighteen: Taleen
This Wednesday is one hell of an exhausting day. After attending two lectures, I’d stillhave a shift at the restaurant. To add moretomy plate, my body is aching with unbearable pain. The doctor told me it’s all because of stress and he prescribed some medications for my nerves, but they’re not really doing a good job.I swallow the two pink pills with water then I put the small bottle back in my backpack, wishing they’d lessen the pain even for a little bit. One more lecture left.
Last Updated : 2021-02-17Inevitably Captivated Nineteen: Josh
After Owen called and told me that Taleen didn’t mind me talking to her, I didn’t waste any minute. I got dressed to meet her; I want to appear decent in front of her. I also want her to know how sorry I am, I want her to know that I can get a grip on my anger issues. I want her to be sure that even if we fought again, I wouldn’t lash out at her like that; I learned from my mistake. Since Owen told me that she had a shift, I decide to use the time I have to buy her a gift; I’m not trying to buy her forgiveness because she doesn’t seem to be materialistic, but I just want to show her in every possible way that I truly appreciate her. I really don’t know what I should buy her. I want the gift to be meaningful, but I now realise that I don’t know her well enough to know what means a lot to her besides art. After roa
Last Updated : 2021-02-19Inevitably Captivated Twenty: Taleen
After a lot of time spent searching for a suitable car, I ended up buying a burgundy2017 Chevrolet Tax LS. I practically did none of the talking, Josh handled it all. He held a good price negotiation with the owner, and I ended up saving around two thousand dollars from the money I had saved for the car; the car was also cheaper than my budget. I have been saving since I was fifteen and now, I’m finally driving a decent car.My mind iscrammedwith billions of thoughts and they’re giving me a strong headache.
Last Updated : 2021-02-20Inevitably Captivated Twenty-one: Taleen
After two hours, I’m finally parking in my home’s driveway. I can’t see either of my parents’ cars in the driveway which means that they’re still at work. The road trip wasreally funas we jammed to the music happily.Onthe road, I learned that Josh was fluent in Spanish.This wasa surprisetome. The guy could literally sing most of the Spanish songs in my playlist.We all jump out of t
Last Updated : 2021-02-20
Latest chapter
Inevitably Captivated Bonus Chapter!
It’s funny how one small thing can change your whole life and turn it upside down. As for me, what changed my life was nowhere near small. Dating Josh changed me a lot. It changed the way I now see life and how I deal with people. It’s been ten years since I last saw Josh— well, face to face. I have seen him on TV and the news. I can’t be any prouder of him. Yes, we haven’t been in touch, but I know that he has come so far. He is now in charge of Dahlberg’s enterprise, and he has achieved nothing but success. He has also founded a charity foundation for helping addicts. He has been open about his addiction and how it has affected his life. I love how he is not ashamed of his past and how open he is about his journey with drugs. He has been clean for nine years and every time I hear him talking about it on a tv show or in an interview, my heart swells with pride and love. Yes, I still love Josh. Romantically. I dated only one person after him and w
Inevitably Captivated Epilogue
In our lives, we make decisions that may, later on, be thought of as nothing but mistakes. They may be considered our biggest regrets, what we wish to erase from our memories. They may be our main source of disappointment, the thing that pains us once it crosses our minds. Some may think allowing Josh into my life is one of the decisions I certainly regret, but this isn't the truth. I would never regret a single moment I spent with Josh because even if he brought me pain at some point, I can never deny the joy he brought me. I can never deny the happy moments we spent together. I can never forget all that he taught me.
Inevitably Captivated Eighty: Josh
I’ve done a lot of unforgivable things in my life, but I have decided to commit the most sinful act today. I chose to die in front of her because I wanted her face to be the last thing my eyes could ever witness before I’m taken to hell. There’s no way somebody like me would go to heaven. My sins outweigh my good deeds, so hell is my eternal destiny, but before going there I made up my mind that I want to steal a little bit of heaven.In that terrible state, I have driven and I am not sure how I have made it here, but here I am, in front of her apartment building. I can barely see. I have takendrugs,I have alcohol in my system and I have even swallowed some pills. I’m tired of living. I&rsquo
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-nine: Taleen
Ten more days have passed and I like to believe that I am used to his absence in my life. My family now knows I’m not with Josh anymore. I think it was a shock to them, just as much as it’s a shock to me. I think a part of me thought that Josh and I would be back together soon despite the breakup because we simply cannot stay away from one another.Maybe we have finally learned how to do that; however, I don’t think I have mastered that lesson yet. I still don’t know what I’m going to do if I see him before my eyes. I don’t know how I’m going to feel if he and I are invited to the same event. There are a lot of things I’m not ready for and I’m not sure when I am going to be ready.
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-eight: Josh
Meaningless. That’s how my life is without her. I still can’t wrap my head around what happened between us. She left. She packed her stuff and walked out of that door. I expected that to happen and to be honest, she took so long to leave, but why does it feel like she made that decision so early? I haven’t had enough of her yet.I long for her. I long for the warmth she brings whenever I take her in my arms when we both go to sleep. I long for the way she puts her head on my shoulder when we watch tv. I long for our cooking dates. I long for her presence.
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-seven: Taleen
“Come on! You need to get out! This isn’t healthy for you.” Lisa tries to get me to leave the apartment, but I won’t budge.“My muscles hurt,” I lie, pulling my fuzzy grey blanket over me. It’s a lie I have been using a lot to escape from any outing. I’m curled on my dark blue couch, having my tv on and doing nothing. For the past week, I have enjoyed doing nothing except for going to work and college. I think I have memorized every single detail about this apartment. The more I stare at the walls, the more I realize they’re actually ivory white and not cream-coloured,if there’s even a difference.
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-six: Taleen
Not again. He promised. He told me he wouldn’t approach drugs this month. He lied. I’m fed up and tired. I’m drained. I have given him my all and I don’t think there’s something left in me to give.Because of him, I have gone against my morals, against every single thing I believe in. I lied to myself, doing my best to convince every cell in my body that he can get through this ordeal. There’s nobody to blame but me. This is my fault. I believed him when he said he didn’t need anybody else but me. I have to admit, I have always beensceptical, but I brushed off every doubt, feeding myself lies, so I would push myself to continue this journey.
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-five: Josh
Almost two months have passed. Taleen didn’t leave. She refused to give up on me even though she should have done that a long time ago. I wish I could say I got better, but I keep on relapsing. I keep fucking up no matter what she does and I don’t know why she hasn’t left until now. I’m stressing her out. I’m giving her a hard time. I’m holding her back from living her life and she’s still here. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be with me. She should leave my sorry ass. College started a week ago an
Inevitably Captivated Seventy-four: Taleen
We reach the hall where the event is held. Avery is not with us. She said that she was tired and she would be in a terrible mood if she came. It’s one of the Dahlberg’s hotels, of course. It’s amazing. The walls are high and they’re painted in rich grey. There are hints of gold here and there, placed artistically to make the placemore classythan it already is.I glance at my reflection in one of the mirrors as we pass and I realize how close I am to Josh. In fact, our arms are linked together. I look at him and I see how handsome he looks despite his relapse. I fight the urge in me to kiss his cheek because I don’t want to earn weird looks from anyone and I still want him to know that I
