TonyWhen I finally park my car in my driveway, I turn it off and lean back, exhaling sharply and closing my eyes for a minute. This has been a fucking busy and long day. After I parted ways from Chloe this morning, I had my men spread the word to every syndicate in New York about the head of the Saints being a married man, hoping the news will trickle down the eastern seaboard, all the way to Miami. I want Mateo to fucking know Chloe is mine now.I must confess it kind of makes my blood pump faster with adrenaline at the thought of seeing the cartel's reaction to this. It also makes my skin crawl when I think about how Miami was never an easy place to deal with, and I know what Mateo is capable of. But there isn't much he can do from so far away, and I'm not playing lightly either. Not when he's messing with Chloe.If anything, I want to be the one to make him pay for all the atrocities he's made her suffer. The bruises I saw on her arms still haunt me in my sleep. The fear in her e
ChloeThe following week is busier than I expected, however I managed to set up a new routine for both me and Ellie. As a toddler, it'd be bad for her not to have some sort of routine, and I am glad I got to give her a sense of normalcy after a few bustling days in the city. I am happy to have my mother's support during all of this, otherwise I wouldn't know what to do by myself. I am definitely not ready to put Ellie in a school or a daycare center yet, especially knowing Mateo is still lurking around.The mafia wife duties aren't easy either, and they sure consume a lot of my time. Every day I leave dinner ready for when Tony gets home from work, knowing he wouldn't prepare himself anything after midnight. It’s also a guilty pleasure of mine. The way he seemed to have loved my food the first day I prepared it made my heart warm and beat frantically in my chest. I sort of want to do that for him. After what he did to protect me and Ellie, it is the least I can do. Having to keep up
TonyAs much as I hate to admit, the married man's life isn't as hard as I imagined it would be. Not for the reasons I expected anyway. Sure, it fucking kills me to have Chloe living under the same roof as me and not being able to touch her, or get close to her whatsoever, but her presence–and Ellie's for that matter–is like a balm to the soul. One I didn't realize I needed.Not to mention the delicious food Chloe leaves prepared for me every night. She doesn't have to, and I made sure to tell her that, but she makes it anyway. I can't say I don't like it though. She might not be doing it because she wants to make me feel good or anything, but my ego is not that big to refuse a nice meal after a hard day of work.Today is one of those days, and my mouth is watering just by thinking of what I might find when I get home.I'm currently in my office at the deli, surrounded by Armando and some of my men who seem to have nothing better to do than smoke cigars and play poker on my coffee tab
ChloeAfter Rocco leaves me at home, I get inside and prepare a nice, hot bath since Ellie is still with my mom and I have the entire place just for myself. I can't remember the last time I’ve been by myself, so I plan on making the best of it.I rush to my bathroom and gather all the expensive products my mother made me buy while we were shopping, saying I should take care of myself more. I use all the salts and oils I can find, and get inside the tub. I don't know how long it takes, but at some point, I end up falling asleep and only wake up when my phone rings with a message from my mom asking if Ellie can sleep over with her tonight.At first, I'm hesitant. I'm not used to sleeping away from Ellie, but I trust my mom and I know she has bodyguards stationed around her house too, so it shouldn't be a problem. It'd be nice to have some time off to myself as well, so I answer her with a 'yes'. I need to learn to chill out a bit, otherwise I'll become paranoid. More than I already am
ChloeI never expected that being in a ferry heading to the city with Tony for a date would be the way I'd end this day. My life was never predictable before, but being asked on a date by him was never a thought that crossed my mind. Sure, he didn't have to say it outright that it was all just for show, and I didn't feel the need to clarify with him either, but I can't help but wonder if there's more to it than he's letting on.I'm probably kidding myself, I know. But as we stand side by side, leaning on the railing and overlooking the moonlight reflecting on the water, my mind goes back to the day we met two years ago in this same place, and my heart betrays me. Again.I still remember exactly how I felt when I saw him. When he shattered my phone and ruined my purse. And when I boldly sort of invited him on a date. I was so intoxicated by his presence back then that I still don't know what came over me.We never talked about that day, and I wonder if he still thinks about it as frequ
ChloeMy date with Tony turns out to be lighter and funnier than I imagined it would be. I was still tense and nervous, but not because he purposely caused it, but mostly because I can't control my own feelings. But the wine helped me to loosen up a little around him, and by the time we return to the house, I'm feeling much less stiff and robotic around him.Tony has this dry humor that I love. I love the way he purses his lips when something isn't to his taste, or the way he is so smooth while talking to people, almost like he knows how good he is to influence them into doing what he needs or wants from them.He told me a little bit about how life as the mafia boss has been tougher than he imagined it would be, and I felt sorry for him. Like me, Tony grew up in this life, so I don't think he had much of a choice, the same way I hadn't.It's past midnight by the time we arrive back at Staten Island. I feel slightly drowsy, but other than that, I feel great. "Thank you for taking me o
ChloeTwo Years AgoI had my fair share of drinks tonight, but being with Tony was so easy and fun that I couldn't force myself to stop. It had been a coincidence to find him in the ferry, and I had been bold enough to sort of ask him out. I didn't know what came over me, but when I realized, I had already done it. When the drinks started to flow freely and into my system, I loosened up and my inhibitions were damned. I lost track of time, talking and flirting with him, sharing what life had been like in Miami, making sure to keep the gross details out of it. I didn't need to remind myself of the nightmares haunting my life now. Not when I felt so happy and carefree.By the time I realize the bar is closing, a gloomy feeling comes over me. I don't want this night to end. And I don't want to separate from Tony, going back to my stupid, hateful life.His hand warmly grabs mine over the bar counter, his fingers caressing my palm and causing chills to run down my spine. The brush of his
TonyMy fake date with Chloe was not what I was expecting. It was surprisingly great. Not that I didn't think I could have fun with Chloe, because I know I can. She is quieter than most women I know, but her presence is so addicting, I feel almost obsessed whenever I'm with her. I want to do everything to make her talk more, to laugh more. Whenever I managed to get a smile from her last night, it felt like my heart would explode.Now, more than ever, I want to do everything in my power to give her the life she deserves. I want to be responsible for putting a smile on her face every day.And that’s why I sent her to bed as soon as I put my eyes on her this morning. She looked…awful. Slightly flushed, her eyes deep, with dark circles under them, not to mention her pale skin.When I showed up in her room with a tray filled with coffee and some fruits a few minutes later, she was already asleep, so I didn't want to wake her up. I ordered something to be delivered for her to have lunch lat
ChloeThe first few days after I learned that Mateo was no longer on this planet were a bit chaotic. Tony and his men had so much to do: cleaning up the mess, assigning the new positions each one of them would take when it came to protecting our family and the house, determining who would go back to dealing with the Saints’ businesses, and so on. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve managed to create a routine for myself and Ellie. It took me a while to process that I wouldn’t have to continue hiding or running away anymore, but eventually things just became… easier. It’s funny how easily and quickly humans get used to things. In the first few days, I was still scared to leave the house by myself, even with a couple of guards accompanying me, or Rocco taking me from place to place inside a bulletproof car. I would always watch over my shoulder, expecting someone to jump out of a bush or something and kidnap me–or worse–kill me.But Tony assured me he wouldn’t get rid of the security s
ChloeOur warm kiss turns into something more passionate as our hands begin to roam each other’s bodies. There are so many emotions bottled up inside us that it is hard to express them with words. Tony’s hands explore my body while he devours my mouth in a heated kiss, suffocating my moans. My head is still spinning from his confession that he loves me, and I can barely focus on what he’s doing. My distraction seems to catch his attention because he pulls away from me, his eyes studying my face carefully. “Is everything okay? We don’t need to do this if you don’t want to. I–”My lips are on his before he even finishes his sentence. Like hell I’d let him stop right now. I urge myself to be present, storing his confession for later, when I have time to dwell on it over and over without being interrupted. I wish I could’ve recorded it so I could listen to it whenever I need reassurance about how he feels about me.But this is Tony. I know he will shower me with affection and love whenev
ChloeAfter I welcome Tony home, I make sure to wake Ellie up so she can have dinner with us. She needs to eat something since she has been sleeping the whole afternoon, and she also needs to wake up now so she can get some sleep later. I’m not looking forward to staying up all night because she slept too much during the day.The three of us have dinner together as a family for the first time, and it just feels… right. Like how it’s always supposed to have been. Neither one of us brings up the elephant in the room. I’m sure we’ll have time to talk about it, but right now, I just want to enjoy this moment while I can. Watching Tony feed our daughter, playing with her, and getting her to laugh is just so adorable that my heart can barely take it.It’s a dream coming true right in front of my eyes.“Come on, baby. Let’s show Mommy how you’re a good girl who eats all her dinner,” he muses, making airplane sounds as he flies the spoon toward her gaping mouth.Ellie chuckles and opens wide
ChloeReuniting with Ellie and my mom felt overwhelming, although bittersweet. Even though I was beyond relieved and grateful to hold my daughter in my arms once more, my heart was shrinking by the minute, not knowing what Tony was up to.The Irish King’s bar I was brought to is surprisingly comfortable and welcoming. I was even more surprised when I found Cal playing with Ellie. The way she laughed at his exaggerated movements and jokes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this enchanted with another man before.After I settled down from the flight and kissed and hugged my family, Cal asked one of his employees from the bar to bring me something to eat. Mom and Ellie already had dinner since they arrived here earlier, and when the waitress returns with a tray filled with burgers, fries, and a chocolate milkshake, I almost let out a moan of pleasure.Only now have I realized how starving I am. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. So much has happened in the past twenty-four hours t
TonyMy vision turns red, and I clench my phone in my hand so hard that I hear it crack. “Send it to me. I’ll be on my way,” I inform him.Armando clears his throat, and I know he’s about to contradict me. “Shouldn’t we have a plan first, Boss? We have no idea what he’s been up to,” he wisely reminds me. I’m glad I have someone to make me see clearly now because all I can think of is putting a bullet hole through Mateo’s forehead and making sure he doesn’t take another breath in this world. “What do we know?” I ask, already starting the car.“They are in an abandoned warehouse outside the city. It’s not our territory, but that shouldn’t be a problem. No one really rules that part of town,” he explains firmly and professionally. “I have all men on hold, waiting for instructions on how we can best approach without being noticed.”“Do you think the cartel is waiting for us?” I have no fucking clue what Mateo was thinking when he invaded the safehouse to go after Chloe like that. It wa
TonyI warned Chloe not to even try and convince me of doing anything else other than going after Mateo and his men. I’d been doing my best to act cautiously, to consider every single possible outcome from this war, but after he ambushed Chloe at the safehouse, making her fight for her life, it left me blind with rage.My guilt didn’t help, either.I was so relieved when I found her on that dark street, wearing nothing but a robe covered in blood, that I could have cried when I held her in my arms. She felt so small, so vulnerable within my embrace that the monster dormant inside me snapped to life, and I simply couldn’t put this aside any longer. Even if I die, even if I don’t get to see her one last time, I will make sure to take Mateo down with me, so he never has the chance to lay a hand on my wife again. Or my daughter, for that matter.“Do I really have to go with Cal?” Chloe’s sweet voice asks from the bed, making me take my eyes off the phone and look at her. I promised her
Chloe“Listen,” Tony continues, still focused on the road. The police sirens get more and more distant as we drive away from the city, but I still don’t ask him where he is taking me. “I know you don’t want to think about it now, but I need to know what happened,” he requests in a gentle voice. I hear a hint of pain in it as well, but mostly, I can hear the guilt behind his words.I want to tell him none of this is his fault, but we’ll have time for that later. Right now, we just need to make sure no one else gets hurt, or worse, killed.I inhale sharply, steadying myself enough to share the recent events with him. I am strong, and I can do this, I tell myself. I’ve always told Tony I could handle it all, and even though I was scared as hell back there, I still managed to save myself.I can do this.“After you left, I spent a few more minutes in the office before I headed up to take a shower. I don’t think I was in there too long, but as soon as I stepped out, I heard the alarm go off
ChloeI should be dead.I was certain I’d be killed the moment I saw Mateo by the front door.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look as mad as he looked a couple of minutes ago.Somehow, by the grace of God perhaps, when I saw him approaching me with that gun pointed at my face, I managed to take it from his hand after sparring with him and shot him in the shoulder. I think.I didn’t stay there to confirm. I didn’t wait to see if he was injured or not. I simply ran out of the house, not daring to look back, not even once. It’s been a few minutes, and I’m still blindly running through the neighborhood, trying to think of what to do or where to go. There’s no one on the street that I can ask for help, and even if there were, I’d be so afraid that Mateo would kill them for helping me that I don’t think I would ask for help anyway.It’s cold outside, and I’m still only wearing my shower robe, and even though I don’t dare to look back, too afraid of what I’ll see, I know I’m being follow
TonyComing here was a fucking mistake.Seeing Chloe did everything to me that I was trying to avoid. It just left me even more confused than before. We haven’t spent more than an hour together, and I still managed to screw it up.Being with her felt natural as if this was the only place I could be. Whenever I’m with her, holding her in my arms and feeling her close to me, everything just seems to go away. Every concern, every fear, every bad thought I ever had… I finally feel at peace.That’s the sort of effect she has on me. But I was not expecting her confession. Hearing her say she loves me and not being able to say it back shattered my heart in ways I can't explain. The look on her face will haunt me forever. It seems to have become a pattern lately. I can't seem to be able to stop hurting and disappointing her. I know what she expects from me, but unfortunately, I can't give it to her.It's clear to me that I have fallen for her, harder than I could ever have expected. It's a f