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Bliss
Last Updated:
2025-01-31 02:55:58
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*Cal*Heidi and I get dressed as I consider what to do. I check my phone, expecting to see a message from Sam telling me that the path is clear for me to take Heidi home, but he hasn’t texted me yet.I need to keep Heidi here for a little longer, until I know for sure we can head out without the risk of being attacked.“I’ll get something for us to eat before I take you home,” I offer, fixing my hair and adjusting the collar of my shirt.Heidi arches an eyebrow at me, considering my suggestion. I’m sure she must want to go home, and I can’t deny I also want to be alone so I can find out who the fuck was following us earlier, but unfortunately, she’ll have to wait.Reluctantly, she scoots back on the couch. “Fine, I’m starving.”“Want me to order some pizza?” I ask, grabbing my phone and opening the delivery app.“Yeah, I could eat some pizza,” she agrees. Her cheeks are still flushed from our previous activities. Seeing her skin glowing like that makes me want to do it all over again
Last Updated : 2025-02-01Indebted to the Mafia King Flirting
*Cal*I frown at Clara, my brain still a bit foggy. I don’t need to ask who she is referring to. At this point, everyone who works for me knows I’m seeing Heidi.“I’ll be right there,” I tell her, getting to my feet and checking my appearance in the mirror.I don’t feel tired, but the dark circles under my eyes say otherwise. I’m sure Heidi will notice it as soon as she sees me, but I don’t want her to worry. I’ll probably have to lie to her if she asks. It wouldn’tl be the first time I’ve kept something from her.The idea of keeping the truth about my life from her is starting to bother me to the point I’m considering risking everything, telling her what I do for a living. But I know the moment I confess and she realizes how dangerous it is, she’ll be out of my life in a blink of an eye.And I’m not ready for that.I wonder if that’s how Tony felt when he got married to Chloe to protect her from the cartel. He told me one time that he was afraid to involve her in all of this mess, an
Last Updated : 2025-02-02Indebted to the Mafia King Sharing My Feelings
*Heidi*My face heats up with his offer, and I can’t find it in me to reject it. I was trying to be bold and surprise him by coming here, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any plans on returning to my own apartment tonight.But I was also telling the truth when I said I liked to spend time with him, no sex involved. Cal makes my days much better, especially now that I’m living by myself and barely see my grandparents. New York is a big city, but it can feel so small when you’re alone.Whenever I’m with Cal, it’s like time freezes, and I can simply enjoy being around him. He makes me feel wanted, heard, cared for. Nothing about what we have feels fake or forced.I don’t know what we are–and I would never dare to say we’re together–but I can’t lie to myself anymore. I believe I’m falling for him. Or better yet, I think I have already fallen. Deep. Beyond redemption.“So, what do you say?” His hoarse, sexy voice whispers in my ear, and I remember I didn’t give him an answer.
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*Heidi*Cal looks up at me, his eyes slightly widened in surprise as if asking me what’s gotten into me.“That was the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me,” I explain, my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage.“It’s the truth,” he tells me honestly, caressing my cheek with tenderness.I’m sure my heart is about to jump out of my chest. Why do I feel so emotional? Everything he says and does to me seems so genuine, like he truly wants to make me happy.I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way toward another man before. It’s an unknown feeling to me, but if I could dare say it, I’d guess it’s love.Or at least something similar to it.He might not feel the same way about me, but right now, I don’t mind. I just want to be with him and enjoy whatever time I have with him all to myself. Being with Cal makes me happier than anything else I’ve ever experienced in my life–even getting lost in a good book.Tired of the distance between us, I lean forward, and our mouths crash together. Cal’
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*Cal*I’ve had other women say they loved me before—after we had sex and I’d taken them to paradise and back. It’s not uncommon. However, I know that Heidi’s words carry a different meaning than all of the rest. I’m absolutely positive she didn’t say that just because she was in post-coital bliss. She meant it. Every word. I only know because I can feel that whatever we have going on between us is different from anything I have ever experienced before.Which is why it freaks me the fuck out.This wasn’t supposed to get this deep. This was supposed to remain an infatuation, a brief curiosity. Something I could chase, experience, and set aside. Because I’m a dangerous man, and that danger lurks in every facet of my life. She’d never be safe. But deep down, the selfish part of me is thrilled to know she loves me. I never thought I deserved someone’s love, but Heidi makes me feel like I do. Like somehow I deserve to be with her and have her by my side. That’s the kind of effect she has o
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*Heidi*Opening my eyes to find myself in Cal’s bed with him by my side is even better than any dream I’ve ever had. His scent is all over the room and the sheets, and the heat radiating from his body is almost too much for my sleepy mind to handle.He looks even hotter after waking up, and I need to control myself not to jump on him. Which, eventually, I end up doing anyway.I’m on top of him before I know it. Having morning sex feels somewhat different, and I’m slightly embarrassed that he gets to see me with my puffy, sleepy eyes and disheveled hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind and is eager to please me.Our skin is damp with sweat after I ride him and give us both a morning to remember. I roll off him and stare at the ceiling, too tired to stand up and get started with my day.“I really have to go to work,” he tells me, his tone expressing how annoyed he is to have to leave this place.I don’t blame him. I wish he didn’t have to go either. I wouldn’t mind having the day off, to sp
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*Heidi*It’s past 9:00 P.M. and the sky is fully dark outside by the time Cal returns home. After finding his closet packed with guns, there was nothing else I could do other than sit on his couch and wait for him to return to ask what the fuck he’s got all those weapons for.I pondered the sitution for so long, my brain working overtime, convincing myself that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I can’t believe that he would do anything to harm me. Even if that meant keeping things like this from me.The entire afternoon, I tried to think of reasons why he would need to have guns inside his home. He’s a businessman after all. He might have… unruly patrons at the bar? But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with an explanation as to why he would need an entire wall of weapons that look like something out of a gangster movie.That’s why I’m still here when he returns. In the morning, my original plan was to surprise him, to have a romantic dinner prepared for when he
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*Cal*Coming home to find Heidi waiting for me was an unexpected, but very welcome, surprise. After the day I had at the bar, dealing with countless business deals that went wrong–not to mention getting nowhere with the threat of the cartel looming over our heads–I planned on coming home and drowning myself in whiskey until I passed out and forgot this day ever happened.But as soon as my eyes spotted Heidi on my couch, wearing nothing but my Knicks shirt, her toned legs exposed, my brain short-circuited, making me momentarily forget about my bad day.A more thorough look at her though, and I could tell she was pissed off.‘Why?’ was the first question that came to mind. When I left this morning, we seemed fine. She seemed fine.She never mentioned the ‘I love you’ thing again, and I figured the best move was to pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe she regretted it, maybe she wanted me to pretend I hadn’t listened. Was that a bad move on my part?Was that why she was pissed off about?But
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*Heidi*Cal drives us through the city, but I don’t recognize the path he’s taking until he stops in front of the exact same store in Greenwich Village that I had my eyes on for weeks when I was searching for a place to rebuild Sullivan’s Bookstore. At first, I frown, wondering what we’re doing here. It’s a tease, honestly. My heart beats fast when I look at the front window and realize it is no longer for sale. I don’t want to assume anything, so I turn to look at Cal, who has the biggest grin on his face. “What is this?” I ask, just to make sure I’m not crazy.After Cal was shot, I kind of set the idea of having a new bookstore aside. I focused on helping him recover, then having my things moved to his apartment, and after all of that was settled, I turned my attention to learning his businesses instead of going back to my own profession. I was frustrated and disappointed at everything failing in that department, so I simply ignored it.Until now.Seeing this store brings back all t
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*Heidi*Two months later…Cal’s recovery wasn’t fast, but he did heal faster than the doctor thought he would. A couple of days after he was shot, he was allowed to be moved back to his apartment, which made it easier for me to take care of him. His place is close to everything, and I could come and go to grab groceries and also visit my grandparents every once in a while.Eventually, I had to tell them about Cal and that we were not only in love, but getting married, and they made me promise I’d take Cal to visit them. But Cal offered something else instead, and we all ended up going on a small trip so they could get to know each other.Needless to say, Grandma and Grandpa love him. They couldn’t stop smiling and were elated that I finally had someone to share my life with. I guess this is what they wanted the most for me.Adjusting to Cal’s apartment was also a struggle at first. I had few things to take with me since I didn’t buy a lot after the fire, but he basically forced me to
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*Cal*Hearing those words from Heidi makes me wonder if I have truly died. Maybe all of this is a figment of my imagination. Maybe God is allowing me to live one last happy moment before I get to suffer for eternity in Hell.But there’s no way this perfect woman in front of me is an illusion. She looks so real. Her eyes–her beautiful eyes that I love so much–are staring at me so intently and expectantly that I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.And she loves me.She’s willing to turn her back on everything she believes in to be with me. This is much more than I deserve. So much more.I realize I don’t want a day to go by that I don’t get to hear those words come out of her mouth.I want to spend every day telling her how much I love her, too. I don’t deserve her, but it will become my life’s mission to make sure she doesn’t regret her choice, that I shower her with love and attention, and that she knows how much she means to me. I am far from perfect, but I’ll try my best to be f
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*Cal*My ears pick up murmurs around me, but I can’t force myself to open my eyes. My entire body is sore, and the pain in my abdomen feels like someone is pressing and squeezing all of my organs together. It’s hard to breathe, but I force my lungs to receive as much air as I can inhale. My back hurts, so I try to adjust myself on what feels like a bed, or maybe a couch, but the smallest movement makes me grunt with pain.“Easy there, boss. You have a hole in your stomach,” someone warns, their voice distant but somewhat playful. I groan again, frustrated at not being able to move. My eyelids seem to weigh a ton, but I need to see what’s happening around me. I need to know where I am and why. Images of the confrontation in my bar come back to me in snippets. I don’t remember the details about what happened, especially how I got shot, but I do remember seeing Milo. I have no idea how much time has passed, and I also don’t know the outcome of the fight, so I need to make sure my men a
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*Heidi*I step out of the shower and put on a set of comfortable sweats. The weather in New York City has been merciless lately, and even inside the apartment, I can still feel the cold wind blowing against the windows outside, seeping through cracks in the apartment I can’t see.I blow dry my hair in an attempt to warm myself, and that’s why I don’t hear my phone ringing the first two times. It’s only when I decide to order something to eat since I don’t feel like cooking anything that I notice I missed two calls.Before I grab the phone to check who it is that called me, I can’t stop myself from hoping it was Cal. But when I spot the unknown number, I roll my eyes. Of course he wouldn’t call me. I ended that. He made it pretty clear that he doesn’t intend to change his lifestyle, and since I’m not willing to give up on my principles either, I won’t hear from him again. I should make peace with that instead of keeping my hopes up.I’m about to put my phone down again, not really int
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*Cal*Leaving the basement and making sure at least one of my men stays behind to watch the cartel assholes we have tied inside, I rush upstairs with Tony, Sam, and Hunter with the rest of my men on my tail.Even though the noises upstairs are muffed by closed doors and thick walls, I don’t like what I hear as I approach the bar. Frantic screams and intermittent gunfire can never be a good thing.“Fuck,” I hiss to myself. “They seem to be heavily armed,” I inform my men over my shoulder. “Are you guys loaded?”“I have a couple of guns with me. Armando is outside with my men,” Tony informs me. I don’t want to think about the possible scenarios we’re about to encounter. The rest of my men are also upstairs, but if they were caught off guard–even though I had them keeping a close eye out for any strange movement–things might be ugly.“I’ll grab a shotgun from the safe,” Hunter tells me. “Do you need me to get you anything, Boss?”“No, I have my pistol on me,” I reply through gritted tee
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*Heidi*Going after Cal was a mistake. I knew it would be, but I still did it anyway.What was I thinking? What was I even expecting to happen? That if I came and asked him to drop his entire life and career for me and he’d do it?Ha! What a joke.Even if I mean as much to him as he says I do, giving up something you’ve been building your whole life is hard. I should know better than that. I wouldn’t give up on my life and dreams either if he asked me to. So, why am I feeling so heartbroken? Why do I feel so sad, so left out?I storm out of his office with tears blurring my vision. His scent is all over me, and my lips are still tingling from our kisses. No matter how much I want to turn back and run into his arms, I know I can’t do it. This is it. This was the last straw, the confirmation I needed that we’re indeed over.For good.“Miss Heidi, is everything okay?” someone asked from behind me as I walked out of the bar. It was rude on my part to ignore whoever it was, but I couldn’
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*Cal*Tony takes a little longer than I’d like with the cartel bastards the Saints captured. By the time his men haul in two guys who are, I’d say, unrecognizable, I’m basically digging a hole in the floor with all my anticipation and agitation, having spent the last hour pacing.The guy I cuffed in the basement looks up from his spot in the corner, and his eyes widen when he sees two more of his people have also been taken by us. He doesn’t have any strength in him to say anything, but he’s been pretty quiet anyway compared to some of the smart-mouthed assholes I’ve beaten the shit out before.“Hey,” Tony greets me, walking behind his guys who are now restraining the newly kidnapped men to chairs, away from the first one. “Brought you a little present.”I grunt. “After the day I just had, you have no idea how glad I am to see them,” I tell him, darting a deathly glance to the newcomers and cracking my knuckles.“I owe you already. I’m glad I could return the favor for once,” Tony say
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*Cal*I consider going after Heidi. Following her upstairs, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to me and crashing my lips into hers, hoping she can feel how much I love her and how much I’m willing to fight for us.But that’d be a lie.And also unfair to her.Because if I truly was willing to do anything for her, I’d accept turning my back on the mafia and the Irish Kings without a question. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t consider anything other than having her by my side.But I can’t.I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t promise her something I’m not ready to do. Therefore, I’d rather she hates me now, while she still has any feelings for me, then watch her fall out of love with me while we are together. That’d hurt me more than anything.Realization begins to sink in. We’re truly over now. There’s no turning back, no saving this relationship that’s barely even started. I try to convince myself that this is for the best. Heidi will finally be safe away from me. She can return
