*Cal*Eventually, we manage to finish our showers with Heidi helping me scrub my back and massage my stiffened muscles. Her tiny, smooth hands feel so good as they glide over my soaped skin that I almost give up on letting her tend to me and move us into round two.I watch as Heidi washes her hair, complaining that she already did that earlier today and wasn’t planning on doing it again. She’s so cute when she pouts. Then we dry ourselves, heading for the bed right after.I’m so drained and exhausted today that my brain feels like it’s melting inside my head. I have no strength to take Heidi out to eat or even to go down to the kitchen and cook something for us.Lying under the sheets, our legs entangled, the air conditioner on full blast, and our bodies embracing each other is helping me recharge somehow.This feeling is so unusual to me, but I find myself more and more addicted to it, and it scares me how much I think about these moments when I’m not with her.Heidi’s stomach growl
*Heidi*Visiting Grandma and Grandpa at the nursing home feels somewhat bittersweet. I’ve missed them a lot, and I wish I could spend more time with them like I used to. But they have a new routine now, and it’s not like I can come by everyday to check on them and spend time here.I need to get back on my feet, to get on with my life. I need to get my job back.On the cab back home, I look out the window, contemplating the past few weeks and how much my life has changed ever since. Everything revolves around Cal. He told me he loved me last night. He shared his heart, and the things he said about me and how he thought he wasn’t worthy of me, it was all so sweet that my heart still skips a beat whenever I replay it in my head.Is this what I want my entire life to be like? Sharing it with Cal, no matter what?I still have my doubts about what I found in his closet, it’s true, but I’m sure Cal will tell me the truth about everything one day. Despite what I said to him, and how I feel abo
*Heidi*I blink once, twice, my brain struggling to make sense of the words that just came out of Cal’s mouth.Irish Kings? What the fuck is that?Why do I recognize this name from somewhere?But where…?Then it occurs to me, like a meteor hitting me straight in the face.Irish Kings… That’s the name of the Irish mafia gang in New York. I have no idea why or where I remember it from, but I might have read about them at some point in the past, or heard about them on TV or in the news.“The Irish Kings…as in, the mafia?” I ask, hoping that saying it out loud will convince me that that isn't what he meant because that would be utterly ridiculous.The whole idea is stupid. Even repeating the name sounds idiotic to me. There’s no way I fell in love with a mafia boss. Is there? This is not a fucking movie. This is real life.I remember joking about it once with him in the car right after we met. He slammed on the brakes so hard that we were almost rear ended. I had no idea how close to ho
*Cal*“Fuck!” I hiss, punching the wall next to the elevator outside Heidi’s apartment. Thankfully, there’s no one with me as I head downstairs after being told to leave her home, so I’m left alone with my anger and frustration.I should’ve seen this coming. It was bound to happen from the beginning. Of course, she would find out. How did I ever think I could keep it hidden from her forever?I could’ve treaded more carefully, but as soon as I heard her saying over the phone that she thought she was being followed, I saw red. I rushed to her apartment, not even trying to control my feelings and emotions. I was all over the place, all sorts of scenarios running through my mind until I could make sure that she was all right.She immediately picked up that I was hiding something from her. Once I decided to come clean with her, everything just poured out of me, and everything I’d been struggling to keep from her was completely exposed.As soon as I get to the building exit, I hesitate, hal
*Heidi*As soon as Cal’s out the door, I’m left desolated, as if I’m drifting. My mind is numb, and I’m momentarily frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Nothing makes sense and, for a moment, I think I might be dreaming that all of this is just a weird fantasy, some sort of illusion I created in my head. How can Cal–this sweet, sexy, and kind human being–be a criminal?It’s absurd…Lifting up from the floor where I’ve been static for a couple of minutes, I walk toward the window, eager for some fresh air. I pull it open, breathing in the cold evening air. It feels like a wake up call, the wind brushing against my face, drying up the tears streaming down my cheeks.The night is so beautiful, the moon shining so bright up in the sky. It contrasts sharply with the chaos and the destruction that I feel within my heart. I’ve never felt this broken before in my life.Maybe when my parents died, yes, but I was too young to remember exactly what it felt like. But now that I’m mature enough,
Eleni“Baba, I have to leave for class in half an hour,” I say as I clear paper plates and cups off one of the high-top tables in the back of The Greek Corner. “I need to change.”My dad huffs a sigh and shoves up from his chair behind the counter. “Yes, chryso mou, I know. But your mama was supposed to be done taking inventory by now to handle customers. Can’t you wait a little?”I bite back a frown and nod. He’s been looking more and more tired since we lost Christos a couple years back. I love the night classes I’ve been taking at the community college a few blocks over, but I’m not going to force my baba to wait tables just so I’m not late. I dump the trash into the garbage can in the back. The bell over the door jingles, and I turn with my customer service smile already plastered on, then freeze.Frank Lombardi, the broad, sneering mobster who’s held my family under his thumb since they came to America, saunters in with a few of his guys. My skin goes cold.“Georgie!” Frank smac
EleniI scoot out of the way of Mr. and Mrs. Behrakis as they leave after their usual Wednesday lunch. Both members of the elderly couple smile at me, and I head for their table to pick up their usual generous tip. I haven’t told Mama or Baba about the virginity auction. I know they’d stop me, but I want to contribute to this family too.The bell over the door tinkles, and I turn. My breath catches. The man stepping inside looks like something out of a movie. His warm, tanned skin stretches taut over sharp cheekbones and a square jaw. His black suit is crisp and perfectly tailored over an equally black shirt and tie. The only element of him that doesn’t seem like it was mathematically designed for perfection is his curly hair, which tumbles just a little bit into his night-dark eyes. He looks around as if trying to find something, and his gaze lands on me. His smile is soft and a little cocky, exposing perfect white teeth. Without a word, he sits at the counter attached to the front w
EleniI scuttle down the sidewalk after class on Friday night. Professor Whitmore was in rare form, actually seeming to be interested in what people had to say when they raised their hands, but I spent most of the class thinking about my plans for the night. I have to sneak out. I’ve never snuck out before, but I’ve seen movies. My bedroom window lets out onto the fire escape, and I’m certain I can get down from there. I shove my hands in my pockets. The closer I get to the auction, the more ridiculous it seems. Am I really going to sneak out to Staten Island to sell my virginity? Am I really willing to give that to someone who’s willing to buy it?The skin on the back of my neck prickles, and I whip around. A couple makes out on a stoop nearby. An older man with a bottle clasped in a brown paper bag shoos away pigeons collecting in front of him. A few homeless people sleep on benches and blankets. No one seems to be looking at me. I rub my neck under my loose ponytail of brown curl
*Heidi*As soon as Cal’s out the door, I’m left desolated, as if I’m drifting. My mind is numb, and I’m momentarily frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Nothing makes sense and, for a moment, I think I might be dreaming that all of this is just a weird fantasy, some sort of illusion I created in my head. How can Cal–this sweet, sexy, and kind human being–be a criminal?It’s absurd…Lifting up from the floor where I’ve been static for a couple of minutes, I walk toward the window, eager for some fresh air. I pull it open, breathing in the cold evening air. It feels like a wake up call, the wind brushing against my face, drying up the tears streaming down my cheeks.The night is so beautiful, the moon shining so bright up in the sky. It contrasts sharply with the chaos and the destruction that I feel within my heart. I’ve never felt this broken before in my life.Maybe when my parents died, yes, but I was too young to remember exactly what it felt like. But now that I’m mature enough,
*Cal*“Fuck!” I hiss, punching the wall next to the elevator outside Heidi’s apartment. Thankfully, there’s no one with me as I head downstairs after being told to leave her home, so I’m left alone with my anger and frustration.I should’ve seen this coming. It was bound to happen from the beginning. Of course, she would find out. How did I ever think I could keep it hidden from her forever?I could’ve treaded more carefully, but as soon as I heard her saying over the phone that she thought she was being followed, I saw red. I rushed to her apartment, not even trying to control my feelings and emotions. I was all over the place, all sorts of scenarios running through my mind until I could make sure that she was all right.She immediately picked up that I was hiding something from her. Once I decided to come clean with her, everything just poured out of me, and everything I’d been struggling to keep from her was completely exposed.As soon as I get to the building exit, I hesitate, hal
*Heidi*I blink once, twice, my brain struggling to make sense of the words that just came out of Cal’s mouth.Irish Kings? What the fuck is that?Why do I recognize this name from somewhere?But where…?Then it occurs to me, like a meteor hitting me straight in the face.Irish Kings… That’s the name of the Irish mafia gang in New York. I have no idea why or where I remember it from, but I might have read about them at some point in the past, or heard about them on TV or in the news.“The Irish Kings…as in, the mafia?” I ask, hoping that saying it out loud will convince me that that isn't what he meant because that would be utterly ridiculous.The whole idea is stupid. Even repeating the name sounds idiotic to me. There’s no way I fell in love with a mafia boss. Is there? This is not a fucking movie. This is real life.I remember joking about it once with him in the car right after we met. He slammed on the brakes so hard that we were almost rear ended. I had no idea how close to ho
*Heidi*Visiting Grandma and Grandpa at the nursing home feels somewhat bittersweet. I’ve missed them a lot, and I wish I could spend more time with them like I used to. But they have a new routine now, and it’s not like I can come by everyday to check on them and spend time here.I need to get back on my feet, to get on with my life. I need to get my job back.On the cab back home, I look out the window, contemplating the past few weeks and how much my life has changed ever since. Everything revolves around Cal. He told me he loved me last night. He shared his heart, and the things he said about me and how he thought he wasn’t worthy of me, it was all so sweet that my heart still skips a beat whenever I replay it in my head.Is this what I want my entire life to be like? Sharing it with Cal, no matter what?I still have my doubts about what I found in his closet, it’s true, but I’m sure Cal will tell me the truth about everything one day. Despite what I said to him, and how I feel abo
*Cal*Eventually, we manage to finish our showers with Heidi helping me scrub my back and massage my stiffened muscles. Her tiny, smooth hands feel so good as they glide over my soaped skin that I almost give up on letting her tend to me and move us into round two.I watch as Heidi washes her hair, complaining that she already did that earlier today and wasn’t planning on doing it again. She’s so cute when she pouts. Then we dry ourselves, heading for the bed right after.I’m so drained and exhausted today that my brain feels like it’s melting inside my head. I have no strength to take Heidi out to eat or even to go down to the kitchen and cook something for us.Lying under the sheets, our legs entangled, the air conditioner on full blast, and our bodies embracing each other is helping me recharge somehow.This feeling is so unusual to me, but I find myself more and more addicted to it, and it scares me how much I think about these moments when I’m not with her.Heidi’s stomach growl
*Cal*Coming home to find Heidi waiting for me was an unexpected, but very welcome, surprise. After the day I had at the bar, dealing with countless business deals that went wrong–not to mention getting nowhere with the threat of the cartel looming over our heads–I planned on coming home and drowning myself in whiskey until I passed out and forgot this day ever happened.But as soon as my eyes spotted Heidi on my couch, wearing nothing but my Knicks shirt, her toned legs exposed, my brain short-circuited, making me momentarily forget about my bad day.A more thorough look at her though, and I could tell she was pissed off.‘Why?’ was the first question that came to mind. When I left this morning, we seemed fine. She seemed fine.She never mentioned the ‘I love you’ thing again, and I figured the best move was to pretend it didn’t happen. Maybe she regretted it, maybe she wanted me to pretend I hadn’t listened. Was that a bad move on my part?Was that why she was pissed off about?But
*Heidi*It’s past 9:00 P.M. and the sky is fully dark outside by the time Cal returns home. After finding his closet packed with guns, there was nothing else I could do other than sit on his couch and wait for him to return to ask what the fuck he’s got all those weapons for.I pondered the sitution for so long, my brain working overtime, convincing myself that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I can’t believe that he would do anything to harm me. Even if that meant keeping things like this from me.The entire afternoon, I tried to think of reasons why he would need to have guns inside his home. He’s a businessman after all. He might have… unruly patrons at the bar? But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with an explanation as to why he would need an entire wall of weapons that look like something out of a gangster movie.That’s why I’m still here when he returns. In the morning, my original plan was to surprise him, to have a romantic dinner prepared for when he
*Heidi*Opening my eyes to find myself in Cal’s bed with him by my side is even better than any dream I’ve ever had. His scent is all over the room and the sheets, and the heat radiating from his body is almost too much for my sleepy mind to handle.He looks even hotter after waking up, and I need to control myself not to jump on him. Which, eventually, I end up doing anyway.I’m on top of him before I know it. Having morning sex feels somewhat different, and I’m slightly embarrassed that he gets to see me with my puffy, sleepy eyes and disheveled hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind and is eager to please me.Our skin is damp with sweat after I ride him and give us both a morning to remember. I roll off him and stare at the ceiling, too tired to stand up and get started with my day.“I really have to go to work,” he tells me, his tone expressing how annoyed he is to have to leave this place.I don’t blame him. I wish he didn’t have to go either. I wouldn’t mind having the day off, to sp
*Cal*I’ve had other women say they loved me before—after we had sex and I’d taken them to paradise and back. It’s not uncommon. However, I know that Heidi’s words carry a different meaning than all of the rest. I’m absolutely positive she didn’t say that just because she was in post-coital bliss. She meant it. Every word. I only know because I can feel that whatever we have going on between us is different from anything I have ever experienced before.Which is why it freaks me the fuck out.This wasn’t supposed to get this deep. This was supposed to remain an infatuation, a brief curiosity. Something I could chase, experience, and set aside. Because I’m a dangerous man, and that danger lurks in every facet of my life. She’d never be safe. But deep down, the selfish part of me is thrilled to know she loves me. I never thought I deserved someone’s love, but Heidi makes me feel like I do. Like somehow I deserve to be with her and have her by my side. That’s the kind of effect she has o