Chapter 41

Samanta's biggest flaw was her impulsiveness. Because of it, she made so many mistakes. Like those she made for the boy walking next to her. Her temper made her act upon impulse and immaturity. So much so, that she preferred to leave with the man who broke her heart in a million pieces, marking her life forever, instead of facing her feelings for Dominik.

Pride was another one of her flaws.

Samanta walked hastily next to Alan, and she felt like this was some sort of crazy dream. On her right, her ex-boyfriend, the man she loved until madness, the one who broke her heart, her first time, who she gave herself away to and who intervened just a few minutes ago to save her from the scandal coming her way. She could not help remembering the times Alan was an amazing boyfriend, pampering her, being attentive and caring for her. The tough guy who never doubted stepping on anybody just to protect his girlfriend. If he had only been like that the whole time. Alan sunk himself into a world of excess and drugs, dragging her along with him. The results were catastrophic. It even costed them their baby's life.

“Was that Dominik Weigand, the footballer?” Alan broke the awkward silence.

“Yes” responded Samanta, keeping her eyes on the floor as she walked on.

“How long have you been dating him?”

“Not dating” she responded.

“Are you kidding? Had he had a weapon, he would have murdered me. There is something between you and him.”

“We met like two weeks ago” she muttered.

Alan let out a whistle.

»So? Is there a place around here where we could drink until unconscious?”

He shrugged.

“There a nice joint around the corner, I could stay with you for a while.”

“Fine.”

They both walked in utter silence until they reached the place Alan mentioned.

They each ordered a drink when they arrived.

Samanta got a large beer and Alan ordered a bottle of

water.

Hours flew by and Sam had a beer after the next. She was not used to copious amounts of alcohol, thus, it only took some six beers for her to start running her mouth and acting improperly. The effects of heavy drinking unhinged her and she started letting out many things she had been keeping to herself.

Alan had no choice but to stay and listen.

It was the least he could do for all he did to her.

“Why did you do it?”

At last, after almost four years, Samanta had gathered the courage to ask that question. Alan felt his eyes water and he gulped to dissimulate the knot in his throat.

“I was a dumb brat” he responded.

“You said you loved me” she carried on.

“I panicked. I'm sorry.”

Samanta could not hold back a few tears. The pain was too big and it was a little hard to breathe.

“It was your child, too” she reminded him.

Alan put his head down and glued his eyes to the floor. There was nothing he could say. There were no words.

»I almost died. When I woke up, I learnt you were long gone.”

He frowned.

“Samanta! I never left. When I tried to find you, they told me you had been transferred to the Trinity Plus Healthcare, so I went there. When I got there, you were not there. But I decided there that I should take a step I should have taken before. I signed up for rehab, I realized I was not good for you. As a matter of fact, I was no good to nobody. And then I went away, as far away from you as I could, when I realized you had moved on, you were valedictorian and looking forward to go to a good college, I had nothing to do here. If I came back, I would have ruined your life again…”

Tears flowed from Samanta's amber eyes.

»I understood. I loved you, that's why I did not try to find you. That's why I didn't come back. You were better off without me. I was cruel, abusive, an awful person. You deserved better, you still do.”

Alan tried getting up from the table, but Samanta stopped him by gently grabbing his arm.

“Take me home” she asked.

He looked at her and smiled, nodding.

Alan paid the check and they headed out looking for a taxi.

Samanta could not grasp why she felt no hate nor disappointment for Alan, on the contrary, she felt pity and compassion. He made poor choices, driven by all the issues he had going on at home. Being the child of a broken marriage. An abusive father who used to beat his mother, left and abandoned them; a mother who sought refuge in alcohol to avoid reality. Alan pretty much had to raise himself, in the school of life. It was on the streets that he learned to stand up and fend for himself. Falling in love with a nice little girl like her shed a little light in all his darkness.

Sam couldn't take it anymore and was reduced to tears. They were too many emotions all at once. She needed to drain them out. Alan could not stop holding her and trying to comfort her. He understood perfectly, she was his first love, too. The first love is never forgotten.

“You're beautiful, Samanta.”

Whispered Alan, holding her even closer.

The spark in his eyes re-ignited.

He was alive once more.