In his arms

Listening to the rain thundering down was always calming, looking out onto the city's lights at night being the perfect way to unwind, April thought as she slowly bought the glass of wine to her lips.

Her apartment was on the top floor of the designer building, away from prying eyes, with the illusion of privacy serving to calm the savage beast inside, quite literally.

April was a werewolf living in the human world, her singing career had given her plenty of wealth and thousands of fans, but she always made a point to come home alone.

This was the only place she could actually be herself; April Ramsey 23, lone wolf completely alone, cast out of her pack, disowned by her family, rejected by her mate, but despite everything, she was free.

Zade had been such an arse when he rejected her, making the then 18-year-old April a laughingstock of the pack.

He made sure to do it in front of everyone, knowing that there was a strong chance she would die from his rejection, but April had proven more robust than anyone thought she was, even her own family. They watched on as Zade looked her dead in the eyes, his slate grey orbs showing no emotion as he uttered the words, "I Zade Ezekial O'Connor future Alpha of the Midnight pack reject you April Aurora Ramsey as my mate."

It had been raining at the time, much like the weather now, April mused, taking another sip of wine...

4 years earlier...

The whole pack had gathered to watch her misery, it was almost midnight, and the rain was pouring down almost as if the Goddess herself was crying, about to witness an event that went against her very wishes.

April could hear the thunder as she was bought outside, her thin shift quickly becoming soaked in the ferocity of the storm as the rain showed no mercy, and there he was, waiting for her, the alpha's son born for greatness, her fated mate, and the boy she had told every secret to as they grew up together when they were best friends, and hierarchy hadn't separated them.

"Are you having fun yet, April?" Zade called to her, his blonde hair plastered to his head, beautiful grey eyes taunting her as he played to the crowd.

More thunder clapped over April's head, and a few seconds later, lightning danced across the sky. The storm was getting worse by the minute.

"Why are you doing this, Zade?" She pleaded, but the sound of the pouring rain drowned out any reply her once best friend may have offered up, and as the wind started picking up, April knew it was almost time.

She glanced over at her family huddled together, and her Dad had the sense to look a little guilty before he turned his head, no such luck with her mother though, Selina Ramsey looked at her daughter as if she deserved what was about to happen, and April found that it was she who ended up looking away.

Her brothers and sister were too young to understand what was about to happen, and all they would remember was their big sister, who sung them lullabies every night, had to leave; in time, they would probably forget her.

As the town clock struck midnight, Zade looked her dead in the eyes, his grey orbs showing no emotion as he said the words, "I Zade Ezekial O'Connor future alpha of the Midnight pack reject you April Aurora Ramsey as my mate."

She refused to look away as the unbearable pain scored her heart to ribbons, taking her breath as the mate bond began to break away from her, shattering her soul in the process. A primal scream was wrenched from her, joined by the guttural growl of her mate as Zade, too, felt the pain of the breaking bond.

April's wolf howled in grief, her desperate whimpers of pain joined by another broken call. It was Chase, Zade's wolf calling for his mate, but her own wolf Fleetfoot was weakening fast, no match for an alpha's rejection, her cries fading as she crawled off into the far recesses of April's mind.

April fought with everything she had to remain standing, managing to stop herself from passing out through the pain, maintaining eye contact with Zade as she muttered her words through clenched teeth, "I April Aurora Ramsey refuse your rejection Zade Ezekial O'Connor, and may you feel every minute of pain that I do when we occupy different ends of the earth."

Finally, April allowed herself to drop to one knee as she sobbed through the pain, whispering, "You were my friend."

Things happened very quickly after that; Zade's angry growl could be heard even above the full fury of the storm as his father formally banished April from the pack. By wolf law, it was within her rights to refuse his rejection, but this was hardly ever done, especially to an Alpha; but April knew she had had no choice; if she had accepted Zade's rejection, she would have been put to death immediately, leaving no loose ends so he would be free to move on and look for his chosen.

As Zade's fated mate, refusing to accept his rejection meant that April couldn't be harmed; to do so would put Zade's own life at risk and may even kill his wolf, so she was rejected from her pack, the only home she had known, with nothing but the clothes on her back.

April was marched to the pack's borders by the Alpha's personal guard, amidst the worst storm of the year. As she crossed over the boundary in the distance, a lone wolf howled his pain, saying goodbye to his love- Chase grieved for Fleetfoot- but she was too weak to reply, the final breaking of the pack bond as she crossed over had rendered April's wolf unconscious.

Present-day

April rinsed her glass out and put it back with the others; the rain hadn't let up, and thinking of the past had made her feel a bit out of sorts; remembering the most painful moment in her life wasn't easy.

During the first year on her own, April had almost died many times; she would often go without food for days in her human form and resorted to living mainly as a wolf to catch and eat her food, but being a lone wolf came with its own set of problems.

She was a rogue, and remaining in wolf form for too long invited the madness to take hold; it was a sickness that happens from not being a part of a pack, no sense of belonging tended to turn wolves feral, they weren't meant to be on their own for long periods of time, and once they gave themselves over to the madness their eyes would glow red, their mind would turn rabid, and there was no coming back from that.

Wandering into her bathroom, April could appreciate how far she'd come in four years, the beautiful pale plum colors of the room calmed her, and the sunken bath in the corner had a large tinted window above it that April could look through, admiring the light of the stars meeting the lights of New York City; her shower was voice activated and the floor heated to the perfect temperature automatically changing with the weather.

A floor to ceiling mirror flanked one side of her bathroom, and April was used to looking at herself in it, making sure every strand of her fiery hair was in its place, eyeliner on to make her green eyes stand out perfectly, every curve and muscle impeccably presented for her fans. In this world, she had to be flawless. In this world, she was royalty; April Ramsey was an A-list singer, a superstar, and superstars never have bad hair days.

Removing her makeup was easy, sometimes being a werewolf was beneficial in the sense that minimal makeup was required; werewolves were insanely good looking, especially to humans, and April knew she was easy on the eyes to both human and supernatural beings; it was just part of her everyday life.

Funny though, after she showered and changed into her pajamas, she stood looking at her reflection for a moment. It wasn't really so surprising to see a broken wolf staring back, even after four years.