**TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!! Child abuse and a short description of sexual assault. Proceed with caution. This chapter is kind of brutal.** Johnathan’s Story The boy, now the size of a fully grown man and twice as broad in the shoulders, leaned against the door and listened to his father fighting with Eli. “You have done nothing this year,” William screamed. “The humans raised the taxes again. "The council wants to incorporate our pack with Wild Winds because we haven’t paid them their dues. All you do is drink and fuck. You sell our wolves to the highest bidder and keep all the money to yourself. What kind of Alpha are you?” Today was Johnathan’s thirteenth birthday. In other wolf packs, that would be cause for celebration. He was officially a man and ready to start warrior training, but his family didn’t even notice. “Don’t yell at our son,” his mother said in a simpering little voice. “He's doing the best he can. You should know better than anyone that it’s impossib
Johnathan I’m so very happy that I’m buzzed right now. When I left here, I locked my past away, determined to never open those doors again. I’ve never told anyone about the things that happened in that pack house. Never. I couldn't bear it. I once told Preston that my older brother liked to beat me up, but I only told him because he confided in me first. In his case, his father was the one who used his children as his punching bags. I did not feel much shame telling him that my adult brother beat me up when I was a small wolf, but I could never tell him about the things that happened later. I couldn't tell anyone. When he asked me why I ran, I told the same story I told everyone. "I found out my mother conspired with my brother to murder me. I decided it was best to get the hell out of town." That was as close to the truth as I was ever willing to get. I never spoke about the men, and most days, I don’t spare them any kind of thought, but now they are back. I can hear them, smell
Johnathan’s Story The boy, now a man, stood on the highest peak of the mountain - a mountain he used to love, a place that was his refuge in his darkest hours, and looked out at the ruin that used to be his home. Even from here, he could tell that the pack house was empty and crumbling. The town, once vibrant, now lay in ruins, the pretty little houses nothing more than shacks. But the place had not lost its magic. Johnathan still found it as beautiful and enchanting as the day he left. Still, the memories of the things that happened here haunted him, and if he had any say in the matter, he wouldn’t have come back here. He tried, over and over again, to ignore the gods’ commands, but he couldn’t do it anymore. After he stumbled upon a pack that was eradicated, the place burned to ashes, he knew that he had to come home. He sat next to the charred body of a pup and knew that he could no longer stand by and do nothing while the humans rampaged. *This place will become a refuge,*
MaraWe are back at the old pack house. On the way here, we drank the rest of the whiskey, and I’m pretty unsteady on my feet. A few times, Johnathan had to catch me before I face planted into a thornbush, or steadied me when I stumbled over tree roots.“Maybe I should just go home,” I say and hiccup loudly. "Ugh."“No,” Johnathan insists. “I want to do this while I’m drunk.”“Why?”“Because I can’t fucking face this while I'm sober.”“So, okay,” I say, thinking that I’m coming up with a brilliant plan. “What about I sober up, and tomorrow night you get drunk and we come back here.”“I’m leaving at sunrise. And I try not to come here if I can help it.”“Fine,” I say with a sigh. I'd probably get blitzed out of my skull if I was forced to go back to Red Ridge, so I kinda get it. "Let's get it over with." I automatically head for the front door that’s hanging on for dear life by one hinge. “Where are you going?” Johnathan asks.I come to a screeching halt and turn back to look at him.
MaraJohnathan switches off the torch and turns to me. He looks like an angel with the ethereal light shining behind him. “Before we do this, I need you to know a few things.”Oh now I need to know things. I feel as if I found out way too many things already tonight. My head is spinning with all the revelations people have crammed into my skull already.“Only certain… oh, well, I guess I we can call them people, can pass through to the other side.”“Okay,” I say uncertainly. “What happens to people who are not allowed to pass… or whatever?”“Bad things. Bad, bad, bad things. It all just really depends on how the Goddess feels that day. If she’s feeling generous, maybe you’ll only get an outbreak of really itchy boils.”“And if she’s in a bad mood?”“Eh well. People have caught on fire, had their skin flayed off, you know… proper smitings.”And he’s being proper flippant about it. What if the Goddess doesn’t want me to pass and she decides to flay me? Or give me a case of itchy boils?
** TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Domestic violence and rape. Please be kind to yourself and proceed with caution. **JohnathanI dread going through the entrance. Although, a better word for it might be portal. I'll fear what I'll see. As bad as my childhood was, as painful as those memories are, I know that seeing and feeling Mara's pain will hurt a hundred times worse, and I don't want to do it. I don't know if I can stand it.But there is no way around it. While wolves have sex to seal their bond, Lycans pass through the portal and learn their mates' every secret, all their dark parts, to seal their bond.The temple exists outside our space and time. I think it’s part of the star planes. The place wolves go to when they die. It’s like our heaven.I have spent days here, never getting hungry or thirsty, not noticing time passing, and when I returned to my own world, only an hour two had passed.I hate it here, and I think that’s by design. The Goddess doesn’t want us to get to
JohnathanThe moment we step inside the temple, the whole place lights up. Mara gasps loudly and does a complete three-sixty, looking at the cavernous entrance. “Wow,” she whispers.Her voice reverberates around the room, and disappears down one of the many dark corridors.There’s a blood-stained altar in the middle of the room, and currently it holds about a dozen scrolls, each of them several feet long, all of them filled with scribblings and drawings.Like me when I came here the first time, Mara is automatically drawn to the altar. She unrolls one of the scrolls, and with a small frown between her eyes looks at it. “Can you read it?” I ask.“No, but these drawings are a little… unsettling.”They are, and they look like cave paintings. They have no depth and the perception is all wrong. “It’s not as bad as you think,” I say. “It’s just the Lycans’ creation story.”“It looks like someone’s slaughtering this poor woman.”“I know. She’s just giving birth to the first Lycan though.” W
MaraThe morning alarm warbles through the house, rudely yanking me from a deep and peaceful sleep. I groan and grab my throbbing head. Johnathan and his fucking bells. I wonder if a hangover counts as being sick, and if I can get away with staying in bed a while longer.He’s not here though, I realise. He said he’ll be leaving before breakfast. I turn on my side and close my eyes to go back to sleep, but Aria is wide awake. “We are the Luna,” she chirps. “We have to set an example when the Alpha is not here.”“I am setting an example,” I answer. “No you’re not. You are breaking the rules.”“Exactly,” I say. “Johnathan’s rules are stupid, that’s the example I’m setting, and I’m going back to sleep.”But I am wide awake now, and Aria is not wrong. When the Alpha is away, the Luna has to lead the way, and make sure the pack follows the Alpha's rules. As much as I hate and disagree with Johnathan’s stupid schedule, those are the rules he made for his pack long before I came along.Whi
JohnathanI get up and massage the soft spot below my thumb. Mara’s vision lasted a long time, but I did not expect it to be so detailed. I’ve seen seers go into trances for hours, only to come out of it and give me a useless little vision that couldn't have lasted more than five minutes. Half the time, the biggest challenge for a seer is to come out of the trance.“You did well for your first time,” I say and return to my desk to get my notebook. I tried to write everything down exactly as she told it. I want to keep a record of her visions so I can remind myself from time to time. I used to record seers’ accounts on my cellphone, but I have a tendency to lose my phones. I lock the notebook in the top drawer of my desk, then return to the thick file Douglas sent. I hold the file up for Mara to see. “From your father. Money.”“What?” Mara asks. “The humans didn’t just take it?”“No. Your father was clever. He hid his tracks well. On paper, every penny belongs to a human.”“What huma
MaraI stop talking. I’ve reached the difficult part. The part where Johnathan dies. I don’t want to talk about it, much less think about it.But the image is there, forever etched into my brain like a brand.“Mara?” Johnathan asks and looks up from his notebook. “Is that it? Are you done?”I shake my head. “Remember? I told you… I told you that I saw you dead.”He nods and picks up his wine glass. He doesn’t look nearly as worried or afraid as he should be. “We can stop for now. Pick it up tomorrow.”I hesitate, gripping the stem of my wine glass like it’s a live preserver. The premonition plays itself out in my head again, vivid and unbearable, but I force myself to forge ahead. "No. I want to get this over and done with.""Okay," my mate agrees. "Go ahead."“After Rick took me-” I clear my throat in an attempt to get rid of the frog that caught there -“he took me into the mansion. To my father. They had him locked up in the wine cellar.” I let out a mirthless little laugh. “You sa
MaraWhile I spoke, Johnathan wrote everything down. There’s a small frown between his eyes as he reads back. “What did Rose do?”I shrug. “I don’t know.”“But you told Kahn things with her didn’t work out.”“Yes, but I don’t know what she did. I suppose it still has to happen.”He puffs his cheeks up and slowly blows the air out of his lungs. “Fucking premonitions. I now kind of want to kick her out, but I don’t have a reason.”“That’s what you’re worried about?”“Yeah. We can stop Donovan. Now that we know she’s coming, I can go get Haley before she comes here, make sure she’s safe.” He keeps reading, the frown between his eyes deepening. “This doesn't make sense to me... I'm not the kind who'll just discard a pregnant she-wolf like that.”I shrug. “I guess a lot of shit’s gonna happen between now and then.”He nods and pours a glass of the spiced wine for himself. “Can- can the future be changed?” I ask.“Yes, that’s the whole reason the Goddess sends premonitions, so we can alter
** TRIGGER WARNING: Infant death. **MaraSix months after Donovan joined Haven’s Crest, Haley showed up here alone. I saw her when she entered town, coming over the mountains. She was haggard, her clothes torn, and clearly starving. She was at the end of her pregnancy and could barely walk.I was surprised that she hadn’t given birth yet.My first instinct was to attack her. She had taken my mate. Caused my banishment. But then I saw it for what it really was. My pride. She wasn’t a danger to me. If anything, the tables had turned, and I was now a threat to her. She did me a favour, really, and the least I could do in return was to make sure she was okay.I had forgotten all about the threat Donovan made all those months ago. He had become a part of Haven’s Crest, and Johnathan paired him with a new Alpha called Luther. They were always off in the forests somewhere, training with their new squad. Johnathan wasn’t with me when Haley showed up. Like everyone else, he was preparing for
Johnathan“You’re probably just having a premonition. Focus on what you're feeling,” I say.Mara shakes her head and starts to hyperventilate while trying to cry at the same time. “Can’t… breathe,” she gasps. "Dying."“No, no, no,” I say and grab her face, forcing her to look at me. “You are having a panic attack.”She violently shakes her head.“Yes. Listen to me. The more you fight it, the worse it will be. It will happen whether you want it to or not. Just let go. It’s like falling asleep.”“No… scared.”“I know, baby,” I say gently. “It is very scary, but I’ll stay right here with you. I won’t let you go. It's just... it's a dream. It can't harm you.”Mara lets out a long sigh. Her eyes roll back in her head and she goes limp, falling forward and into my arms.I pull her off the chair and sit flat on the floor with her on my lap, cradling her like a baby while I wait for her to come out of her trance. As I watch, a tear rolls down her cheek. The warm droplet falls on my hand, sen
JohnathanGregory's mouth runs like a freight train on our way back to the mansion. The kid barely stops to breathe wihle he excitedly tells me about his week at Zach's house. We popped into one of the many diners in town for a burger and a milkshake, and the kid is in a fantastic mood. God, I missed my boy. I smile and adjust my wristwatch. I promised Mara that I wouldn’t be long, but it turned into a three-hour-long exercise, starting with Kelly who insisted that I stay for coffee and cake.I glance at my chattering son in the rearview mirror. “And I told Zach he can come play at owe house, ‘cause he don’t have a pool o' nothing.”"They have a big pool in town," I say. "Didn't Kelly take you?""No. She doesn't twust the men thewe."Oh-kay. “All right kiddo,” I say as we pull up to the house. “Settle down a little, will you? My ears need a break.”Gregory undoes the buckles on his carseat by himself and patiently waits for me to open the door. Grabbing his backpack, he hops out and
MaraJohnathan grabs me as I walk past him to the door, curling his long fingers around my upper arm to keep me in place. His grip is strong, firm, but he holds me in such a way that he doesn’t hurt me.“Is that what you think?” he asks. “That I’ll protect you to death?”I falter a little. “Well… yes. I’m sorry, but I kinda do.”“Have I been coddling you like you’re a child?”I quickly shake my head. “But you didn’t want to tell me about my father.”“Yes,” he admits and slides his hand down my arm to take my hand in his. “When I spoke to you dad, we had just met. You had so much going on. You were so… vulnerable. What should I have done? Should I have piled on and made it worse? Would you have done anything different if you were me?”I don’t have to give it much thought. He’s right. When I came here, I was on the brink of death, and so much happened all at once that he didn’t really have the time to sit down and talk to me about my father and everything that’s been going on at Red Rid
MaraI stare blankly at Johnathan, not sure how to answer him. I knew he’d ask me sooner or later to spend the night with him, but I thought it would be later. What’s more surprising is that I’m not afraid by the prospect of sharing his bed - I’m enraptured by it.“Why do you want me to stay?” I ask nonetheless.He shrugs and steps into his linen trousers. “I missed you.”“You did?”“Of course. You are my mate.”“You barely even know me.”“Didn’t make me miss you any less.”I smile. I’ve been smiling a lot lately. If I'm not careful, I'd go so far as to say that I'm happy. “Okay,” I agree at last, “but I train with Kahn at night.”“Not tonight you don’t.”“He’s not going to like that.”“He can go fuck himself,” Johnathan says with a soft little snarl that sends a weird little rocket of exhilaration down my spine. "I am in charge here, not Kahn."My mate doesn’t bother to put his shirt on. Instead, he sits next to me, but keeps a healthy distance between us. “Why do you trust Kahn?” h
JohnathanI sigh as I close my bedroom door behind me and drop my pack on the floor. The last leg of our journey was by far the worst. I kept as low a profile as I could with Rose by my side, which meant we had to take a lot of detours so we could dodge the rogues that are always circling Haven’s Crest, searching for a way in, The girl kept running off to find a male she could breed with.Several Alphas are closing in on Haven's Crest. Wolves that had been displaced by humans. These are the good Alphas I’ve been waiting for. I still outrank them by orders of magnitude, so I’m not too worried about their presence. If they can make it into Haven's Crest, they will join my pack, although I’m not quite sure in what capacity yet. Maybe as advisors or some kind of council. Eventually, order will be restored. They’ll be able to go back to their own lives and rebuild their packs.I hope.I handed Rose over to Ally, instructing the Beta’s mate to feed her, bathe her, and to keep her away from