Mara I try to remind myself that here, at Haven’s Crest, vampires aren’t dangerous. We are their enemy, not the other way around. Vampires leave wolves to their own devices. We hunt them, they don't hunt us. Except here. Here, we're supposed to be allies. I can’t exactly blame the man for wanting to kill me. We have been hunting his kind for centuries. I don't know exactly what started the war between us. I do remember hearing something about it back in the day when I was in school, but that part of our history has faded from my memory. “Kahn,” Felicity says and lands next to the tall vampire. “Don’t torture the girl.” “I should, really,” Kahn says. And die? I wonder. My blood will kill him. “I won’t die,” Kahn says and smiles at me, revealing perfect teeth and two wickedly sharp fangs. "Not if I feast on you, little wolf. You are different. Special." Did he just read my mind?” “Yes,” Kahn says. “It’s a shitty talent. You have no idea how exhausting it is to listen to your non
**TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!! Child abuse and a short description of sexual assault. Proceed with caution. This chapter is kind of brutal.** Johnathan’s Story The boy, now the size of a fully grown man and twice as broad in the shoulders, leaned against the door and listened to his father fighting with Eli. “You have done nothing this year,” William screamed. “The humans raised the taxes again. "The council wants to incorporate our pack with Wild Winds because we haven’t paid them their dues. All you do is drink and fuck. You sell our wolves to the highest bidder and keep all the money to yourself. What kind of Alpha are you?” Today was Johnathan’s thirteenth birthday. In other wolf packs, that would be cause for celebration. He was officially a man and ready to start warrior training, but his family didn’t even notice. “Don’t yell at our son,” his mother said in a simpering little voice. “He's doing the best he can. You should know better than anyone that it’s impossib
Johnathan I’m so very happy that I’m buzzed right now. When I left here, I locked my past away, determined to never open those doors again. I’ve never told anyone about the things that happened in that pack house. Never. I couldn't bear it. I once told Preston that my older brother liked to beat me up, but I only told him because he confided in me first. In his case, his father was the one who used his children as his punching bags. I did not feel much shame telling him that my adult brother beat me up when I was a small wolf, but I could never tell him about the things that happened later. I couldn't tell anyone. When he asked me why I ran, I told the same story I told everyone. "I found out my mother conspired with my brother to murder me. I decided it was best to get the hell out of town." That was as close to the truth as I was ever willing to get. I never spoke about the men, and most days, I don’t spare them any kind of thought, but now they are back. I can hear them, smell
Johnathan’s Story The boy, now a man, stood on the highest peak of the mountain - a mountain he used to love, a place that was his refuge in his darkest hours, and looked out at the ruin that used to be his home. Even from here, he could tell that the pack house was empty and crumbling. The town, once vibrant, now lay in ruins, the pretty little houses nothing more than shacks. But the place had not lost its magic. Johnathan still found it as beautiful and enchanting as the day he left. Still, the memories of the things that happened here haunted him, and if he had any say in the matter, he wouldn’t have come back here. He tried, over and over again, to ignore the gods’ commands, but he couldn’t do it anymore. After he stumbled upon a pack that was eradicated, the place burned to ashes, he knew that he had to come home. He sat next to the charred body of a pup and knew that he could no longer stand by and do nothing while the humans rampaged. *This place will become a refuge,*
MaraWe are back at the old pack house. On the way here, we drank the rest of the whiskey, and I’m pretty unsteady on my feet. A few times, Johnathan had to catch me before I face planted into a thornbush, or steadied me when I stumbled over tree roots.“Maybe I should just go home,” I say and hiccup loudly. "Ugh."“No,” Johnathan insists. “I want to do this while I’m drunk.”“Why?”“Because I can’t fucking face this while I'm sober.”“So, okay,” I say, thinking that I’m coming up with a brilliant plan. “What about I sober up, and tomorrow night you get drunk and we come back here.”“I’m leaving at sunrise. And I try not to come here if I can help it.”“Fine,” I say with a sigh. I'd probably get blitzed out of my skull if I was forced to go back to Red Ridge, so I kinda get it. "Let's get it over with." I automatically head for the front door that’s hanging on for dear life by one hinge. “Where are you going?” Johnathan asks.I come to a screeching halt and turn back to look at him. “
MaraJohnathan switches off the torch and turns to me. He looks like an angel with the ethereal light shining behind him. “Before we do this, I need you to know a few things.”Oh now I need to know things. I feel as if I found out way too many things already tonight. My head is spinning with all the revelations people have crammed into my skull already.“Only certain… oh, well, I guess I we can call them people, can pass through to the other side.”“Okay,” I say uncertainly. “What happens to people who are not allowed to pass… or whatever?”“Bad things. Bad, bad, bad things. It all just really depends on how the Goddess feels that day. If she’s feeling generous, maybe you’ll only get an outbreak of really itchy boils.”“And if she’s in a bad mood?”“Eh well. People have caught on fire, had their skin flayed off, you know… proper smitings.”And he’s being proper flippant about it. What if the Goddess doesn’t want me to pass and she decides to flay me? Or give me a case of itchy boils?“
** TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Domestic violence and rape. Please be kind to yourself and proceed with caution. **JohnathanI dread going through the entrance. Although, a better word for it might be portal. I'll fear what I'll see. As bad as my childhood was, as painful as those memories are, I know that seeing and feeling Mara's pain will hurt a hundred times worse, and I don't want to do it. I don't know if I can stand it.But there is no way around it. While wolves have sex to seal their bond, Lycans pass through the portal and learn their mates' every secret, all their dark parts, to seal their bond.The temple exists outside our space and time. I think it’s part of the star planes. The place wolves go to when they die. It’s like our heaven.I have spent days here, never getting hungry or thirsty, not noticing time passing, and when I returned to my own world, only an hour two had passed.I hate it here, and I think that’s by design. The Goddess doesn’t want us to get too
JohnathanThe moment we step inside the temple, the whole place lights up. Mara gasps loudly and does a complete three-sixty, looking at the cavernous entrance. “Wow,” she whispers.Her voice reverberates around the room, and disappears down one of the many dark corridors.There’s a blood-stained altar in the middle of the room, and currently it holds about a dozen scrolls, each of them several feet long, all of them filled with scribblings and drawings.Like me when I came here the first time, Mara is automatically drawn to the altar. She unrolls one of the scrolls, and with a small frown between her eyes looks at it. “Can you read it?” I ask.“No, but these drawings are a little… unsettling.”They are, and they look like cave paintings. They have no depth and the perception is all wrong. “It’s not as bad as you think,” I say. “It’s just the Lycans’ creation story.”“It looks like someone’s slaughtering this poor woman.”“I know. She’s just giving birth to the first Lycan though.” W
MaraI stumble through the mansion, barely seeing anything around me. I have no idea where I'm going or what I'll do when I get there. I just know that I can't stop now. I can't think about what we've done. If I do, I'll never be able to get back up.As soon as the crew cleared out, I killed Finnian. The only ones I would allow to stay were Johnathan and Kahn. I love them. I trust them. It was worse this time because I knew his name. He wasn't just a threat I needed to get rid of. He was a person to me, and he wasn't our enemy. Not really. He didn’t hate us. He had no problem with us. He just wanted to save his child.Shortly afterwards, Oberon showed up and wanted to take my pain away, but I refused. I can’t keep hiding from it. Easing my suffering makes it too easy. Everytime he does that, I feel a little less, and I am sure if he keeps doing it, I will become cold and indifferent. I can’t allow that to happen.At long last, I I turn right into an unkown room, and end up in one of
MaraThey enclosed the brain thing in a glass container that reminds me a lot of an upside down bowl. It’s to contain the toxic gas it’s giving off, but I think it’s harming him. He looks sick. Greyish-white, the pulsating slow and uneven, like he’s gasping for air.He’s well away from the rest of the town, hidden in a vast cave that's not too high up. “We can’t film him like this,” I say and give Johnathan a pleading look. “They will call us cruel.”My mate nods. “Agreed. Everyone stand back. I don't know what that gas will do to you. I’ll release him.”The film crew that came with us disappear from the cave, but Kahn doesn’t budge. The vampire’s eyes are filled with sorrow. “You know… at least we have the decency to treat our blood bags well.”“Yes,” I answer without missing a beat, “but the problem is that you think of them as blood bags, not as humans with feelings.”“We acknowledge their feelings,” Kahn says in a huff, “which is why we don’t lock them up in cages.”“Don’t argue,
JohnathanMara is sitting in her favourite spot on the windowsill, staring out over the wilderness. The storm clouds are gathering again, and I expect another good downpour as soon as tonight.She is upset. Six of the wolves didn’t make it. Even with her present in the temple, and with Oberon’s shield, they still burst into flames immediately.But she is not upset because they died. It’s the way they died that bothers her the most. “Are you okay?” I ask as I adjust the towel around my waist, and run my hand through my wet hair.“They died terribly.”“Probably for a good reason, Mara,” I say. Not that I disagree with her. Watching someone burn to death is horrendous. “We couldn’t trust those wolves. The Goddess allowed everyone else to turn.”She sighs, a heartbreaking sound that tears me to pieces. “I know. That doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”“No, it doesn’t. There’s something else we need to talk about.” And she’s not going to be happy. Not at all. I’m not happy about it ei
JohnathanI catch Mara and Donovan just as they leave the forest. They are surrounded by dozens of wolves - the ones I’m starting to think of as the originals - who went to visit with their children.“How did it go?” I ask.As soon as I ask the question, my mate’s eyes are filled with tears. “I almost couldn't say goodby to him. I didn't want to let him go.""I'm sorry, baby," I say gently. "I know it's not ideal.""He asked about you.”A heavy weight of guilt settles where my heart is supposed to be. “What did you tell him?”She pulls one shoulder up her ear. “I told him that you are working very hard to keep the pack safe, but that you will go see him soon.”I feel my own tears trying to push their way up my throat. I swear, I hadn’t been this emotional and teary since I was a child. “He was okay with that?”“Yes, because his daddy is his hero. He is very proud of you, Johnathan.”The love that wells up in my chest is overwhelming, but so is the sorrow and longing to see my child. “
JohnathanI sit with Rose and try to follow her disjointed report. She is speaking for all the Lunae and the whole bunch of them are babbling at once.It takes them a while to settle down and allow Rose to translate.As far as I can tell, each of them explored a different part of Red Ridge, and they are not telling me anything I don’t already know. Experiments, pain, suffering, families torn apart, unbelievable, unbeatable soldiers. Everything Mara already saw in her vision.It was an absolute waste of time and resources to send the Lunae to Red Ridge, but at least I now know that Mara’s visions are scary accurate.Which does not bode at all well for our future.“Last I go see Douglas. He feel Lunae presence,” Rose says.My stomach goes a little cold. “What was he doing?”“I no know. He sent me away. Say we need run. Hide. He no help.”I slowly nod. “Where was he?”“In big white room. Lots of glass… what you call those things?”“Test tubes?”Rose shrug. “Machines I no understand. Bloo
MaraFor once, it’s not raining. The sun shines brightly in the clear, blue sky and birds chirp merrily in the trees.Johnathan is still asleep, wrapped around me like a blanket. I slide out from under him, grab his t-shirt and walk over to the window, throwing it wide open and inhaling the clean, crisp air.The sun might be out, the clouds might be gone, but it’s fucking freezing cold. I feel like it should be snowing, not raining.Running on my tiptoes, I head back to bed and crawl under my mates warm arms. It’s just cozy enough so I won’t freeze to death, but not so hot that I’ll dehydrate.“Morning,” Johnathan says without opening his eyes.I jerk at the sudden sound of his voice. There was no indication that he was waking up. His breathing didn’t change, his heartbeat didn’t speed up - nothing. “I think it’s closer to afternoon,” I reply.“It might be,” he says and finally turns his head to look at me.His eyes are clear and wide awake, but he’s deeply troubled. I can tell that
MaraI pull Johnathan into the shower with me. He follows me inside without any complaint, even allowing me to help him wash. It’s awkward and difficult—he’s so tall that I can’t reach everywhere, but he still lets me do it.I don’t know what his plans are anymore. I don’t know if he changed his mind at all, but I saw him fight for us. I saw him stand up to Thrax, brilliantly weaving a strategy I would never even have considered.I am not sure if he was just acting in the moment, and if still wants to abandon the pack, us, and go his own way. And I will not ask him. Not tonight anyway. He’s carrying a veil of sorrow around that’s so thick I can feel it, and I refuse to let it consume him.He needs to know, has to understand, that I am here for him and that he isn’t the one who always has to keep me standing. He has to know that it goes both ways.Johnathan grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him as he shields me from the water with his body. Then he a
JohnathanStaring at Thrax’s disembodied head is quite disconcerting. I hold him up by his hair, looking into his slack-jawed face. His mouth is open in a silent scream, and his eyes keep blinking at me. “How do we keep this thing alive without blood?” I ask Kahn.“A vampire as old as him can go several months, if not years, without blood. He will be fine.”Donovan holds a canvas bag out to me, and I drop the head into it, rubbing my bloody hands on my jeans. Not that it helps much, but it makes me feel better.That was absolutely revolting, and probably one of the worst things I have ever done in my life. “Do not beat yourself up, Warlord,” Oberon tries to comfort me. “He deserved it.”Maybe he did. But it still feels so, so wrong. The floor is slick with blood, we’re all covered in it, and my office smells like death. “I need a shower.” And about twenty bottles of rotgut whiskey to forget this night. I'll take the cheap moonshine the rogues used to distill - it's a hundred perce
JohnathanI wish I could say that drinking Kahn’s blood was one of the more disgusting things I’ve ever done in my life, but that would be a lie. I have had far worse things in my mouth than a little vampire blood over the years.And it did work. Not only did it sober me up, I am wide away, and I feel stronger than usual. No wonder the vampires don't share their blood.When Thrax showed up, Kahn whispered four little words in my ear. “Careful. Don't trust him.”While Thrax went on and on and on, I managed to put up a wall, blocking him, and I could contact Preston, who went straight to work - he found Oberon, he rallied the troops.I am still not sure if I changed my mind about our future. But what I have to worry about now is this new threat. There will be no future if Thrax kills us all. Or worse, hands us over to the humans. I knew the vampires, especially Thrax’s younger children, wouldn’t be able to resist the nymphs. Much like Lycan blood, theirs is considered to be a rare deli