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I'm being used.
Last Updated:
2025-02-27 02:22:54
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IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. This is a message.
" Who is it?!" I hear my mom call from the kitchen.I can't look away from him with so many thoughts running through my mind. ' Where did the pictures come from?' 'Who sent them?'' Does this mean what's in his hand is the same as mine?'" We need to talk," He whisper-demands.I don't respond, I can't utter a word but continue to stare at him.My mind simply cannot wrap around what is happening at the moment. What is happening?How did we get here?Who sent these pictures? And how did they know where I live?" Milla, did you hear what I just said?" His eyes search my own, a frown present on his face." Milla?!" I snap out of the trance I seem to have fallen under, when I hear my mother's call again. I let out a sigh, glancing over my shoulder. "It's William mom, he wants to talk to me for a minute!"I step out of the house, making sure to close the door behind me." We can't talk here." He walks past me, not giving me a chance to speak.I follow him as he heads over to his car.
Last Updated : 2025-02-27IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I don't hate you.
We agreed on no more distance but there's distance between us. I made sure that there would be one because I needed to gather my thoughts. The information I've just received feels like a set back to be honest. I've been under the impression that only a few months remained before we had to negotiate something.It hadn't been easy, trying to gather all I can to cover the loan that now I was under, a loan from William. William is pretty understanding but that doesn't mean it has not been uncomfortable, knowing that I owe him so much money. It is true that he played a dirty trick into making me sign that marriage contract, under influence but still, he did help me out and paid the debts that hung heavily over my shoulders.Now I don't have to worry about all that, but paying him back. I'm not the proudest in the way everything was solved, but what choice did I have?I tried everything I could, to gather the money together, while also struggling with witnessing my mother's deteriorating
Last Updated : 2025-02-27IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. You've come back to me, Milla.
A deal that existed between William and I, has found itself a witness. I have no clue as to who this might be that sent that envelope, but whoever it is, must want something.There's a price for everything.There should be a price for silence, right?' You know money talks.' My conscious says, which doesn't sit well with me.' I can't have more money problems than the one I currently have.' A huge debt already hangs over my head and I have not found a way out. I need to figure out my next steps, to finally be free and move on with my life.Being in debt is one of the most weight bearing things to experience. It surely is a relief to know that everything with the house loan is settled, but now I have to deal with the fact that I owe William Myers a whole lot of money. If mom ever found out…..‘ No, mom can't ever find out about this, well until I sort out everything.’ " I can't believe this marriage will last this long. A whole year." I hear William say from beside me." Same, but
Last Updated : 2025-02-28IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. Next time?
Did I hear right or am I imagining things?" Mr Shard."" A towel, please Louisa.."Huh?I glance to Louisa and watch her quickly leave the room." Lets take care of you first before we talk, okay?" " O-okay?" I nod instead, not knowing a better response.Louisa( who happens to be he housekeeper), returns before I know it.I hold out my hand to receive the towel so I can dry off myself, but Mr Shard ignores that and starts drying up my hair, yet again taking me by surprise. 'You're letting him get away with a little too much now.' The voice of my conscious snaps me back to reality.I'm in the middle of a situation, I need to take control of. 'There might not be much meaning to it, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm married. Let me atleast honour that, my parents would atleast expect this from me because marriage is marriage at he end of the day.' " Mr Shard." I touch his hand, stopping him. "I think we can talk now." I make sure to keep eye contact despite how nervous his inten
Last Updated : 2025-02-28IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. He wants to meet.
" Your silence tells me that I'll need to reserve the question for another time." Won't he misunderstand?" No Mr Shard I -----" " Another time, Milla." His tone sounds gentle but his eyes are intense. I let it be and decide to focus on what I came here for." Okay." I agree.I need to get my answers before Liam does something drastic." I have something to show you." He says all of a sudden.I watch him rise to his feet and head on over to a small table by the drinks cabinet. I'm noticing it for the first time since I've been seated here.He comes back with an envelope in hand. Crazy enough, it's similar to the one I received.Could this be?....No." I've had this for some time now." He holds it out to me.I nervously take it. I hesitate and I hesitate strongly." What is this?" I ask instead.He gestures for me to take a look inside.I look at the envelope for a moment before I meet his eyes again." I don't need to."Surprise flickers on his features." No?" I shake my head. "
Last Updated : 2025-02-28IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I'm sorry.
" You stopped me from seeing that man again." He says, breaking the silence that had taken over the trip back home.What's done is done now." I had to."" Will your response be the same, whenever something concerns that man?"" What do you mean by that?"" You're protecting him." He sounds accusing.And jealous." I am not protecting him." " Yes you are, you jump to the defence on his behalf like he means something to you."" That is not true." I shake my head." I find that hard to believe." "Well, it's not like you would believe anything I say anyway." I comment.My head whips in his direction when he suddenly pulls over at the side of the road.It's late and he decides to do this! " No, no, no, William Myers, you better take me home right now!" I demand.He is crazy if he thinks I have the time to be arguing with him so late. We've been gone for so long and I'm pretty sure my mother must be so worried.He turns his whole body towards me, where I am given his full attention now.
Last Updated : 2025-02-28IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. You're not staying.
We've been standing in each others embrace in the rain for too long now. Neither one of us has attempted to pull away nor have we spoken. Maybe talking might break the moment, I don't know.The only sounds my ears seem to keep track of, is the rain against the ground, cars passing by and my sniffles.But what I feel is how his heart is beating so fast. It hasn't calmed down and now I'm curious to know the reason." Gosh Milla, I wish we were somewhere far away from everything. We could talk, you know(he sighs). There's so much to talk about."The whole time he speaks, I listen." We could possibly get to know each other again."A do over, where we get to know each other as if we were strangers. I've never thought about it that way.I pull back to look at him, but still remain within his hold.His eyes are the most expressive at this very moment. I give up from trying to say something since words fail me.I open and close my mouth but when words fail me, I give up." You're not alone
Last Updated : 2025-03-06IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. The Rumour.
To witness love and to experience love, is quite different. I played the role of a witness while my mother experienced love, one received from my father. He was simply a man in love, not with the idea of love, but with the woman who introduced him to their kind of love. I recall the days of admiring how beautiful and easy, they made everything seem. It just felt right with them and I, a few times so, desired to be the one to experience such love. In unfortunate turn of events, tragedy decided to knock at our door. It claimed the life of my father, separating and leaving us out in the cold. My mother seemed lost without her other half, which hurt to witness. The desire to better relate to her pain had overwhelmed me. All I wanted was to offer more support and be a reliable source of comfort for her. The unhealthy mindset I had then, in the early days of fresh and raw pain while mourning, was strong, I admit to this. What amazed me through it all, was the way my mother notice
Last Updated : 2024-01-28
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IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. You're not staying.
We've been standing in each others embrace in the rain for too long now. Neither one of us has attempted to pull away nor have we spoken. Maybe talking might break the moment, I don't know.The only sounds my ears seem to keep track of, is the rain against the ground, cars passing by and my sniffles.But what I feel is how his heart is beating so fast. It hasn't calmed down and now I'm curious to know the reason." Gosh Milla, I wish we were somewhere far away from everything. We could talk, you know(he sighs). There's so much to talk about."The whole time he speaks, I listen." We could possibly get to know each other again."A do over, where we get to know each other as if we were strangers. I've never thought about it that way.I pull back to look at him, but still remain within his hold.His eyes are the most expressive at this very moment. I give up from trying to say something since words fail me.I open and close my mouth but when words fail me, I give up." You're not alone
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I'm sorry.
" You stopped me from seeing that man again." He says, breaking the silence that had taken over the trip back home.What's done is done now." I had to."" Will your response be the same, whenever something concerns that man?"" What do you mean by that?"" You're protecting him." He sounds accusing.And jealous." I am not protecting him." " Yes you are, you jump to the defence on his behalf like he means something to you."" That is not true." I shake my head." I find that hard to believe." "Well, it's not like you would believe anything I say anyway." I comment.My head whips in his direction when he suddenly pulls over at the side of the road.It's late and he decides to do this! " No, no, no, William Myers, you better take me home right now!" I demand.He is crazy if he thinks I have the time to be arguing with him so late. We've been gone for so long and I'm pretty sure my mother must be so worried.He turns his whole body towards me, where I am given his full attention now.
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. He wants to meet.
" Your silence tells me that I'll need to reserve the question for another time." Won't he misunderstand?" No Mr Shard I -----" " Another time, Milla." His tone sounds gentle but his eyes are intense. I let it be and decide to focus on what I came here for." Okay." I agree.I need to get my answers before Liam does something drastic." I have something to show you." He says all of a sudden.I watch him rise to his feet and head on over to a small table by the drinks cabinet. I'm noticing it for the first time since I've been seated here.He comes back with an envelope in hand. Crazy enough, it's similar to the one I received.Could this be?....No." I've had this for some time now." He holds it out to me.I nervously take it. I hesitate and I hesitate strongly." What is this?" I ask instead.He gestures for me to take a look inside.I look at the envelope for a moment before I meet his eyes again." I don't need to."Surprise flickers on his features." No?" I shake my head. "
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. Next time?
Did I hear right or am I imagining things?" Mr Shard."" A towel, please Louisa.."Huh?I glance to Louisa and watch her quickly leave the room." Lets take care of you first before we talk, okay?" " O-okay?" I nod instead, not knowing a better response.Louisa( who happens to be he housekeeper), returns before I know it.I hold out my hand to receive the towel so I can dry off myself, but Mr Shard ignores that and starts drying up my hair, yet again taking me by surprise. 'You're letting him get away with a little too much now.' The voice of my conscious snaps me back to reality.I'm in the middle of a situation, I need to take control of. 'There might not be much meaning to it, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm married. Let me atleast honour that, my parents would atleast expect this from me because marriage is marriage at he end of the day.' " Mr Shard." I touch his hand, stopping him. "I think we can talk now." I make sure to keep eye contact despite how nervous his inten
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. You've come back to me, Milla.
A deal that existed between William and I, has found itself a witness. I have no clue as to who this might be that sent that envelope, but whoever it is, must want something.There's a price for everything.There should be a price for silence, right?' You know money talks.' My conscious says, which doesn't sit well with me.' I can't have more money problems than the one I currently have.' A huge debt already hangs over my head and I have not found a way out. I need to figure out my next steps, to finally be free and move on with my life.Being in debt is one of the most weight bearing things to experience. It surely is a relief to know that everything with the house loan is settled, but now I have to deal with the fact that I owe William Myers a whole lot of money. If mom ever found out…..‘ No, mom can't ever find out about this, well until I sort out everything.’ " I can't believe this marriage will last this long. A whole year." I hear William say from beside me." Same, but
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I don't hate you.
We agreed on no more distance but there's distance between us. I made sure that there would be one because I needed to gather my thoughts. The information I've just received feels like a set back to be honest. I've been under the impression that only a few months remained before we had to negotiate something.It hadn't been easy, trying to gather all I can to cover the loan that now I was under, a loan from William. William is pretty understanding but that doesn't mean it has not been uncomfortable, knowing that I owe him so much money. It is true that he played a dirty trick into making me sign that marriage contract, under influence but still, he did help me out and paid the debts that hung heavily over my shoulders.Now I don't have to worry about all that, but paying him back. I'm not the proudest in the way everything was solved, but what choice did I have?I tried everything I could, to gather the money together, while also struggling with witnessing my mother's deteriorating
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. This is a message.
" Who is it?!" I hear my mom call from the kitchen.I can't look away from him with so many thoughts running through my mind. ' Where did the pictures come from?' 'Who sent them?'' Does this mean what's in his hand is the same as mine?'" We need to talk," He whisper-demands.I don't respond, I can't utter a word but continue to stare at him.My mind simply cannot wrap around what is happening at the moment. What is happening?How did we get here?Who sent these pictures? And how did they know where I live?" Milla, did you hear what I just said?" His eyes search my own, a frown present on his face." Milla?!" I snap out of the trance I seem to have fallen under, when I hear my mother's call again. I let out a sigh, glancing over my shoulder. "It's William mom, he wants to talk to me for a minute!"I step out of the house, making sure to close the door behind me." We can't talk here." He walks past me, not giving me a chance to speak.I follow him as he heads over to his car.
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I'm being used.
~A Few days later......~My reflection through the mirror stares back at me while I take care of my hair. Days have passed since that night of the dinner with the Myers. My argument with William, the tension from witnessing Mr Shard's appearance and just the dinner itself, all fell to the back of my mind when I overheard the conversation between Mrs Myers and Vanessa.At first, I felt that it was wrong for me to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name, I could not walk away. That converstion has not left my mind till today.I've tried to not let it bother me, because truth be told, both of them were the ones who didn't favour me much from the past till now. Vanessa already has expressed her dislike towards me but Mrs Myers, confused me.No, her actions confused me. I thought we were back to being civil towards each other, no, her. I thought atleast by now, she would see that I have no ill intention towards her family. Or maybe she believes I want to take advantage of her son?If that i
IN THE MIDST OF MY LOVE. I ruined the night.
Embarassment isn't even close to what I'm experiencing right now and I know, I won't get over this for a while. I've ruined the night and I wouldn't blame them for the regret they must feel for inviting me.Oh dear-Mr Myers.... I can't imagine what he must be thinking.Don't even get me started on the rest of the Myers and Oh gosh, Mr Shard is here or downstairs rather... He showed up like a ghost and damn, I was no where near prepared. The thought of us meeting again has always made me nervous and despite that, there's is little relief for it finally happening. I won't have to think or make up scenarios of that day.The day is finally here or the night rather.One thing is missing, the conversation. We haven't crossed that bridge yet and so, being nervous remains within me.The moment I woke up, everything came back to me like rushing wind. My eyes did not waste time in frantically searching for a possible 3sit, despite knowing that the room has only two exits.The high up windo
