Chapter 3

SURROUNDED BUT ALONE

"We tried all we could." I didn't want to jump to conclusion when he said that, I wanted to be very sure. "Yes, you tried all you could and?" I asked with my last thread of hope hanging. " Am sorry ma'am, we tried all we could, but she didn't make it, the reports were looking fine until this morning, she lost too much blood and we just couldn't find a match, your blood donation wasn't enough, am very sorry." He said before walking off like he was used to this kind of thing happening. Of course, he was used to it, he was a doctor after all. I collapsed to the floor, thinking of how alone I was in this world. I couldn't accept the fact that she was gone, it was hard for me, I did so much, and I tried my best. Why didn't everything work out in the end, did I do someone wrong? was I paying for that crime?This was all much. I broke out In a sob as the door to the surgery room opened up with the bed that carried my mom alive bringing her out lifeless. Life was cruel. I had hope, maybe she stopped fighting, maybe she was tired of living miserable waiting for a man who didn't care about her. Suddenly I made a vow, I don't care how I do it but I'll never let my child be without complete parents. I'll make sure of that.

I still sat down where I was twenty minutes ago, I couldn't muster the strength to stand up from where I sat, I couldn't believe mom would now be called a corpse, doctors would have to inject things into her body for dead people. I cried more at the thought, I cried for what I lost and what I would have gained. If she had made it, it would have helped our relationship, we would have been somewhere in our relationship, and we would have been better.

I slowly rose from where I sat with sore eyes. I was near having a headache. I knew that crying wouldn't bring the dead back but that didn't I couldn't help but cry, it was a feeling I couldn't describe. Empty, was the word I could describe myself as. I asked a nurse along the way where they took my mom and she led me there. I dreaded seeing what she looked like, lifeless. For the past weeks, she had been that way but there was still something pointing to me that she would be alive, her slow heartbeat, but now I didn't have even that to hold onto.

When we got to the room where my mom was kept I covered my mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to break out, I had to be strong for myself. She was covered with white, not a single part of her was open. I walked towards her with shaky legs and I shakenly opened the cloth revealing her pale ghost-white face, her eyes were closed and she was gone. There were no tears left to cry, I ran my hands through her hair and then kissed her forehead, something I'll never get to do again. I looked at her one last time wishing she would wake up, when that didn't happen, I smiled at her so if ghost were real she would see that I was strong for her before finally walking out of the room.

****

I looked at the people who were there to give their condolences, I couldn't help but frown, they were all a bunch of fakes now they were all here acting like people who cared. I remember vividly when I went to meet most of them for help and they gave one excuse or the other, some didn't even let me see them. The burial was filled with fakes, mostly my mom's friend, I didn't have many friends.

I couldn't be weak so when I watched my mom being lowered to the ground I didn't let a single tear drop, I wasn't going to be a subject of pity for these people. The priest said a prayer and after that, everyone began to leave one by one. It was just me now and the silence of the graveyard. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone come behind me.

"My condolence." I heard the voice I'd been avoiding for weeks now. I knew I couldn't run, he had the power to find me wherever I went. I turned to face Markus putting up a brave front. He had his hands in his pants, dressed in black from head to toe. " Thank you," I said to him as I turned back to my mum's grave.

"You don't have to worry, I am not going anywhere, and even if I do, I know you'll find me anywhere I go, so there's no need to try." He was silent for a while before he spoke. "You're moving in with me, your things are already packed. You won't need to go back to your old house." He didn't give me a chance to reply he just walked away.

I've been trying so hard to forget that the reason why I signed that contract in the first place was to save my mom and now she is no more. All my efforts were in vain and now I have to keep to a useless deal, something that makes me regret even more. But I had a plan, one I had to achieve. I just had to. Picking up the broken pieces of myself I walked out of the graveyard, as I got towards the road I noticed a car was parked there. Markus's words from earlier told me just who that car was waiting for. I took in a deep breath and walked towards the car. The driver came out of the car to open the door for me. Not uttering a single word I got in sealing my life with my hands, the beginning of my regret.