"How is it?" Matthew asked me when we reached my apartment.
I glared at him, but it didn't have any effect on him. He just laughed at me and sat on one of my sofas in the living room.
"You didn't tell me!" I threw a pillow at him, and he caught it, hugging it.
"That was my surprise for you! After a decade, you see each other again," he said, proud like a kid.
"It's not good, you know?" I whispered.
"Huh? It's Oliver, right? Why aren't you happy?" he asked.
Yeah, Matthew didn't have any clue why I wasn't happy to see him. So I decided to act shocked, surprised, and shy, just to make him stop worrying. I would pretend like nothing happened and do it for work.
"Of course, I was shocked! I didn't expect that," I explained to Matthew with an overly dramatic reaction.
"Shouldn't you be thanking me?" he teased me. He really was annoying.
"Thank you for what?" I asked, although I knew exactly what he was referring to. I just wanted to play around.
"Come on, aren't you grateful to me?" I wanted to tell him that this was the biggest mistake he ever made in my life, so I wasn't grateful.
"Okay, okay, thank you!" I threw another pillow at him, laughing.
"You're welcome," he replied with a satisfied smile on his face.
He stood up and arranged the pillows on my sofa.
"I'm going now. Good luck with your work!" he said, then left.
I'm sorry, Matthew, but I guess I will not enjoy this work. Oliver was the reason why I have this fear, and I blamed him, even though I know it was my fault too. Falling for someone of the same gender shouldn't be a big deal, right? Love is blind, so I also have the right to fall in love, but I cannot do it ever again. I have these feelings, feelings that I'll bear forever.
I sighed heavily and started my work. I grabbed my notebook and pen, and opened the first page.
But...
WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WRITE?
I didn't have any idea, and I didn't know how to start. What the heck was happening in my brain? It stopped processing ideas.
But I thought that if I watched some romantic movies, maybe I would get an idea of what to write. So I went to my room and rummaged through my CD collection.
"Shit, I have too many sci-fi and fantasy movies here," I muttered to myself.
I was still searching for any romantic movie when I realized that I had my phone, and I could search for whatever I wanted on the internet. Geez, I almost forgot about the advancements of the world.
I went to YouTube and typed "romantic movie" because I couldn't recall any movies I'd watched before.
I saw the results and scrolled through, looking for a really heart-touching movie. I wanted an inspiration that would make me feel loved. Feel loved? Did I ever feel it? Anyway, a movie caught my attention because of what was written in the thumbnail. It said, "The most heart-touching movie I've ever watched." So I clicked it.
The movie started with a girl inside her room, watching a guy from outside her window. I think she had a crush on that guy, but I wondered why she didn't come out of her room and talk to him. I continued to watch, and it was kind of boring, but I decided to finish watching it.
Suddenly, my phone rang, and I saw an unregistered number calling me. I picked it
up anyway.
"Hello?" I answered the call.
"Is this Mr. Red Wright?" the caller said.
I was stunned for a moment when I heard his voice because it was Oliver. How did he know my—oh yeah, probably because of Matthew. I immediately stood up.
"Yes, speaking," I replied.
"I just wanted to ask if you've started writing," he asked in a monotone but polite voice.
"Actually, I haven't," I honestly answered. Please end the call. I was pacing back and forth in my small living room.
"Please do start writing now because we have already decided to enter your work, Mr. Wright, into a competition that will happen in three weeks from now." Say what? I stopped walking, a competition?
"What! But it was only my first time publishing my story at your company, and you decided to enter it into a competition without consulting me?" I shouted at him. It wasn't my intention to shout, but I was surprised by the sudden news.
"Yeah, we are aware of that, but the president has been liking your story from your files," he explained. What files?
"Who gave that to you?" I was confused because I was the only one who had those files, but—wait—
"Mr. Styles gave them to us," he said.
Yeah, as I thought, that stupid Matthew Styles. I gritted my teeth to control my anger. I'm gonna skin him alive when we meet again.
"Okay, I'll start working now, but I have a problem," I stated.
"What is it?" he asked, but I didn't sense any curiosity or worry in his voice. Maybe he was only doing this for work. What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I feel the need to tell him?
"Don't bother; I can handle it. Sorry," I replied. I just wanted to end the call immediately.
"Okay, have a good day, Mr. Wright," he said, and then he ended the call.
Finally, I could breathe now. I felt suffocated while talking to him, but I also felt weird. I didn't know if you could understand it, but I was a little happy and had the urge to cry. But what was my reason to feel that way? Did I miss him?
DARN IT! NO WAY! I was furiously shaking my head now. If you could see me, you'd say that I am a psychopath. I didn't know what to do now that I heard his voice again.
I just needed to calm down and think about what to do with his number. Should I save his number or block it? But he is my editor, and I need to have communication with him.
Communication.
The thing we used to have before, full of smiles and happiness. Now it was just plain communication between an editor and writer.
SHIT!!! Erase! Erase! Erase! Darn it! Why do I have these random thoughts? I should think about what I'm going to write.
But all I wanted was to keep my distance from him. I didn't want to feel the same way I did before because I knew it was unacceptable. That was my reason for running away, the unrequited love. I didn't have any right to receive love from anyone.
Now I didn't need to watch a romantic movie. I already had an idea of what to write.
And I would write a tragic story.
Trivia: The movie that Jesse found on YouTube was "Midnight Sun," and Jesse saved Oliver's phone number.
I am currently writing the prologue of my story. I'll create a sweet moment that no one will expect to turn into a heart-breaking ending because that was the idea in my mind. I blame someone who made me like this, a person who never felt love in his whole life. I sighed heavily. *Bzzzzz Bzzzzz* My phone was ringing, so I picked it up and saw that Matthew was the one calling. "I'm working, what is it?" I asked him, the annoyance in my voice obvious. "Is that how you talk to your beloved best friend?" he asked, sounding sulky. "Stop with your childish acts and tell me what you want," I responded with an even more annoyed tone. "I just want to hang out with you. There is a newly opened bar near my place. Would you like to accompany me there?" he asked. Hmm. Well, I think it's not a bad idea to take a break, even if I just started. Maybe I should relax for a bit and clear my mind. Geez. "Okay, what time?" I asked him calmly. "Maybe around 8 o'clock at night?" he replied. "Darn y
The next day, I was awakened by the doorbell. I stood up in my bed, and when I opened the door, I saw the landlady with teary eyes. "Mister, I am sorry, but this land was bought by a businessman, and I can't refuse him because I have a big debt to him. So please pack your things and find another place. Also, here is your supposed-to-be rent." She gave me back my money and left me alone. I had no choice but to pack up my things. I searched for a place that I could rent, and I found an apartment nearby. I called a truck to help me pick up my things and started transferring to another place. Fast forward, and I was done unpacking my things. I was now arranging my belongings when my phone buzzed again. It was Matthew once again. "Hey, Jesse, you transferred to another apartment?" he asked. "Yeah," I answered. "Why?" he wondered. "The landlady told me that she sold the land, and she asked me to pack my things," I explained. "Okay, then tell me your new address," he said, and I told
It was him... Oliver What is he doing here? Could it be that we are neighbors? "Oh, Good afternoon Mr. Red Wright" He said but I just standing there awkwardly without even smiling. "We're neighbors huh?" He asked again and I saw him smiled so I smile too, but a fake one. "Yes, Sir" I was facing the ground now because of the overwhelming embarrassment. He smiled at me again and he enters his own apartment. I didn't expect to be like this. I just want to have a normal life even without that thing called Love, but if he's always around me that stupid emotion will bloom inside me. I don't want to have such kind of feeling, a forbi
Shit. It's already 10 am! I am freaking dead meat again in our director! The heck is wrong with my alarm and I didn't wake up early? So I immediately get up in my bed and I almost run into my bathroom. I started to get naked. I tap the shower button and it started to rinse my body. My head is still aching because of the hard drink I drunk last night with Jesse. Uh! I almost forgot to call him. I'll call him after I finish showering. I am in the middle of soaping myself when I heard footsteps outside. Who can be is that? So I finished soaping my body and I shampoo my hair. After that I open the shower and rinse myself. After wa
"There he is!" My manager exclaimed and he pointed to a guy who was sitting alone in the sofa near at the stage. My eyes went wide when I recognized who that is. "He will be your Best friend" my manager stated again. "Zeus Sebastian?" I unconsciously said. I take back what I said earlier. I can never be friends with him. I don't know why but I am nervous and I feel like my heart beat is increasing again. I can't even act properly when I am in front of him so what should I do? "Oh, good you already know him" He said and I got confused "Of course, I know him already. Didn't you send him to inform me earlier?" I asked. "Huh? I di
I am here at the grocery store. Buying some stuff for my apartment. I didn't expect that I will run out of foods and other materials for my apartment. I think it was very long time when I bought groceries in my old apartment. Geez I hate buying alone. If Matthew is not busy he would probably the one buying this for me. I sigh heavily because now I think maybe I am a big burden to him. Wait! Matthew loves Filipino dishes maybe I can cook some. I am in the section of vegetable. I wonder if I can cook a Filipino dish likePakbetorchapsuibut at least I can make a food for myself. I am just randomly picking vegetables when I bumped into someone. "Sorry sir" It is guy maybe a college student and he is looking down at me with his furrowed eyebrowrs.
Did I give Oliver a ring before? I can't remember when wai- that means the ring I saw in his hand before was actually the ring I gave him? But I can't recall a thing. "S-sorry I can't remember that he-he-he," I said. "Hmm, too bad, I was eager to know it," He said while pouting. I just awkwardly laugh and we chat more about our personal life. I learned that he is a model so he was in that kind of disguise. I told him that I am a writer but I didn't tell him my pen name. We chat and chat until we finished drinking our coffee. "Are you going home now?" He asked because I stand in my position. "Yeah, you can come if you want" I i
"I want to bake a cake for Oliver, but I don't know how to!" I am frustrated yelling at myself now. I can't bake a simple cake for him Darn it! Wait! I'm gonna search some procedures in internet! Yeah that's right. It will be helpful for me. I found the mocha flavored cake and I try doing it. I add some egg, flour, sugar, salt and the mocha flavored powder in the bowl and mix them all because that is what written in this blog. I put them in the oven and waited for few minutes and when I take it out, it produces a bad smell. Wait a cake wasn't supposed to smell like this. I take a small part and I taste it. "What the fuck!" I cursed after tasting this cake I baked. Yeah guys I'm cursing. "This tastes so bad! I can't let Oliver eat
Jesse's Point of View The bright blue sky in the afternoon welcomed us. We are here at the central park. Oliver said that he wants to show me something but it’s like that we are dating. Well, of course, I will think that it is a date because we are going to different places around the central park, also Oliver treats my food. “Oliver, please just show me already what you really want to show” I don’t how many times I told him that. “Later” is his always reply. Then he kissed me on my forehead. That surprised me, so I slap his shoulder but not too strong then I look around if there are people. “Are you shy” He is just looking at me smiling. “Shut up” I know I am blushing right now. Oliver and I are sitting under the tree here in the central park. Just chilling because it is already hot this time and he did kiss me that made my face hotter than the weather. Luckily only a few people are around and a
It is the last day of Oliver’s business trip so he will come back tomorrow.I am kind of impatient because Oliver didn’t message or call me for two days straight. Honestly, I am feeling a little uneasiness because of that.I grabbed the bottle of soju and drank it.The kitchen feels lonely these past few days. I am all alone, sitting and drinking this soju and I roam my eyes around to kill boredom because I just finished the last part of my story.I notice about myself when writing before I care not to my characters if wrote them with traumatic experiences. Even the end of the story is tragic because at that time I believe that if a person is suffering then it should end quickly.But now I realize that having that kind of experience is really hard to face and I felt pity for the characters I’ve made before. I am gentler towards the plot and the whole setting.I heard a few comments from my readers and that is what they are
“Congratulation Mr. and Mrs. Connor” I shake hands with the newlyweds. “Thank you Rick” David said, my co-actor. We are here in the reservation area because the wedding ceremony is finished. Lots of well-known artists are here including Chryss slash Zeus and Matthew. What a wonderful ceremony. Weddings are really the best thing that may happen in our life. I saw the eyes of the two souls are shining and it looks like they feel so happy. They already have bound together in front of the altar. I’m kinda jealous but I don’t have anyone to marry except the person who isn’t here. I grab a glass of wine and went near the exit. This is my wine actually because David asked me if I can be the one in charge of the wine “Hey” it’s Wendy. “Hey,” I responded. “Wedding’s really beautiful isn’t it?” she said. I turn to look at the happy newlyweds in the center. “Indeed” I answered. “If you wanna get married som
“What should we take?” I asked Matthew We are currently at the shop where we will buy the suit we saw online the other day. He is the one who has the idea to take that suit. Well, it is kinda embarrassing because it is actually a couple suits for ehem I mean a wedding suit for boys. But now we are buying shoes for our suits. “Just take what you want, I’ll pay” He said. “I have my own money you know” I stated. I pick the leather black shoes and he also picked the same brand. “Why do we buy these stuffs if we have already suits and shoes on our condo?” I asked him. “For the new style of course” He said. We tried the suits already and it is really fitted for the both of us. Me, wearing the white suit while him the black ones. Matthew is not joking when he told me he is the one who will pay. Well, my boyfriend is an artist and came from well-known family so I should not be surprised if he even buy this store or the
Since the first day I met Chryss that we also know as Zeus, my heart was kinda weird. You know this kind of weirdness that can make you stomach ached for a reason, getting goose bump over the little things he’s doing and the kind of comfortable rapid heartbeats. We are already 5 months dating. Funny how I thought that I wouldn’t forgive him because of my past trauma but that all vanished seeing him crying and explaining his side. That is actually two points for me. “Matt there’s a message at your phone!” Chryss shouted from the bathroom. I am here at the kitchen and drinking my morning coffee while waiting for Chryss to finish bathing. “Did you check it already!?” I replied shouting. “Nope” He answered. Well I have no choice but to go back in my room. I entered my room and saw a message from my manager that telling us we need to attend a wedding party. He also said that the invitation card for me will arrive soon. Whose
The day gone so slowly we’re in our 4rt day and I can’t help but to think nothing but Jesse and because I don’t have any stable communication to him. The meeting is done and I am currently in lobby with Jared. “Mr. Klein I notice that you barely contacting your lover, not that I am intruding but are you in a fight?” Jared asked. “We are both too busy and I can’t find a stable signal” I explain. If either I am the one who is busy then its Jesse. We left the building and head out straight to the parking lot. My eyes just wonder around and it lands in a vending machine near in a store. “Can you go first, I have to do something” said Jared. I just nodded and then he left me in the parking lot. The management left the car on us because they trust us to take it a good care. No one is driving other than me and Jared and I think we are both driving safety so it’s good. Back to the vending machine I am looking earlier. If you th
It’s been two days since Oliver left for his business trip. Time is really slow when your love is away from you. That’s part of the life I guess that I don’t wanna happen again. I admit it. I am missing Oliver not a little but these whole two days I’ve been searching for his warmth. Too cringy right? But what can I do? That is what my heart saying. I leave my bed and head straight to the shower room to shower of course, what else would I do? It is already 9:30 in the morning and earlier I checked my phone if there are any emails or text messages but there is none. I remember Oliver told me that there is no stable signal in that place because it is mountains and hills there. It’s the countryside anyway. Done showering I went back inside my room to dry up and dress. While dressing an idea came up in my mind and please don’t think about sexual things. I am talking about the next chapter of my new story. I am kinda running out of ideas so
Yesterday we arrived late at this so-called cultural or traditional inn. So practically this is our first day in this place. The receptionist did already give us the key to our room and the room was kinda decent with two beds and a shower room. I will not deny that the place is really beautiful and the view is really catchy. But the only thing that bothers me is the huge window in this room. Like what the fuck? The length is about my height and the width hmmm maybe three or four-person can fit. Well, this is their design so the hell I care anyways. Maybe someday I can bring Jesse here because this province is really perfect for the person who wants to relax in the busy city. And speaking of Jesse I can’t send him a message and the signal is really weak, but Jared said that the signal in the town will be full. We both already had taken a bath, and of course not together because I let him first. “Let’s eat in the famous restaurant here a
I am currently packing my things for the business trip tomorrow. “You should bring your own shampoo and don’t just carelessly use their stuff there” Jesse warned me. He is helping me now and we are currently here in my unit. Actually, he’s a bit against but then agreed and he is being paranoid because we cannot see each other for one week. “Okay, just put the things you think I’ll need” I told him. I remember our conversation the time I told him I have a business trip one week long. His reaction is kinda cute and at the same time pitiful. Flashback My work ended at the same time as before, 6 in the evening. I went back to his apartment because I never told him that I’ll back on my own unit and I want also to spend this time with him before leaving for the business trip. “Oh welcome back” He said when he opened the door and saw me. I smiled at him and then kissed his forehe