Chapter 4

Lizzie & Trent

Lizzie, unlike her husband Trent, enjoyed being around lots of people. Considering she felt the most alive on stage, it stood to reason that she found the energy of a lot of people invigorating.

When Harrison had proposed this plan of the entire family staying in a cabin for Christmas, Lizzie had jumped at the chance. What could be more exciting than spending Christmas with her crazy family? Then again, after getting married and having her daughter, there was little that could ruffle Lizzie. An almost-two-year-old tended to reset your priorities and make you rethink what was really worth getting frazzled over.

Trent hadn’t been as enthused by the idea of spending Christmas with her family. He’d made amends with them—especially Lizzie’s twin brother, Seth—and Trent even considered her brothers friends.

“That doesn’t mean I want to stay in a cabin with them,” he’d said wryly. “Your family is—”

“Loud? Fun? Interesting?”

“A lot.”

Lizzie found Trent outside on the porch with Bea on his lap. He’d wrapped a big blanket around them both, although today wasn’t as cold as the previous days had been.

“There you are. Are you hiding again?” Lizzie sat down next to them. Bea babbled and reached for Lizzie, and Lizzie picked her up and snuggled her under her chin. When had her baby gotten so big? Soon she’d be talking in full sentences, going to school, leaving for college...

Trent handed her the blanket. “I’m not hiding. I’m taking a breather. Caleb wanted to hang Christmas lights all over the house, and then he and Harrison started arguing about how they should do it.” Trent rolled his eyes. “Remind me never to get between those two.”

“Like your family isn’t as crazy.”

Considering Trent had four siblings of his own, he didn’t get to criticize Lizzie’s.

Trent grinned. “True. Then again, we aren’t deluded enough to all go to a cabin in the woods to spend Christmas together.”

“Could you even get Phin or Lucy to come? I’ve seen them both three times total and we’ve been married for two years.”

“Phin is busy. So is Lucy.”

Lizzie brushed her fingers through Bea’s curls. “Busy...or do they just not like me?”

She’d never voiced her fears that Trent’s family still didn’t like her. Considering their history, she couldn’t blame them. She’d hurt Trent when she’d ended things between them over a decade ago after she’d had a miscarriage.

“What are you talking about? They don’t hate you.” Trent shook his head and forced her look at him. “They were too young to know what was going on between us then. And Phin isn’t good with people anyway.”

“Isn’t he a lawyer?”

“Exactly.”

Lizzie laughed, which made Bea laugh, and she felt her fears calm somewhat. She knew how important it was to be close to your family, and the last thing she wanted was to create a wedge between Trent and his siblings. Especially since they’d already lost both of their parents, so sticking together was even more important.

Lizzie’s phone rang, and when she glanced at the caller ID, she put her phone on silent without answering. Trent raised an eyebrow at her.

“Just a spam call,” she lied. It had, in fact, been her producer, Terry. Lizzie had released her latest album in the fall, and since it had sold so well, Terry was pressuring her to go on tour. Except Lizzie couldn’t bear to leave Bea or Trent behind. She’d considered taking Bea with her, but how could she separate her from Trent?

And Trent had his restaurants to oversee, so having him come too was out of the question. Lizzie had dodged Terry for two weeks now. She’d thought that since it was almost Christmas, he’d be too busy to bug her. She should’ve known better.

Why don’t I just tell Terry no? She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t yet. Maybe it was because part of her really wanted to go on tour again. It had been so long since she’d performed for multiple audiences over the course of a month. Meeting fans, seeing new cities. She itched to get out of Fair Haven, which also scared her. Would she end up running away again like she had all those years ago? It seemed ridiculous, yet the fear remained each time she thought about Terry wanting her to tour.

Bea wiggled, wanting to get down. “No, it’s too cold,” Lizzie said. “You didn’t put a coat on her?”

Trent shrugged. “She was sitting with me, and it’s not that cold out. And you know she hates getting bundled up.”

“Trent, she doesn’t even have shoes or socks on.”

“Well, she had socks on earlier. She must’ve taken them off.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s gotten you so pissy?”

“I’m not pissy. And don’t swear around Bea. I’m just worried about her getting cold.”

“We can always go inside.”

“No, not if you don’t want to. I can go get her shoes. It’s fine.”

Lizzie didn’t know why she sounded so irritable, but she pushed the thought aside as she went to get Bea’s things. I need a drink. Or five.

Her stress level only increased when Terry called her a second time and left her a message that was only “Call me back” and nothing else. Lizzie was rather tempted to toss her phone into the nearest lake and tell Terry after the New Year that was why she hadn’t gotten back to him.

That evening, things only got worse. Bea was cranky and fussy, probably because of too much activity, and by the time it was dinner, she was crying and refusing to eat. She tossed her food onto the floor, which Callie the dog enjoyed way too much. Her cries got louder and louder until they were ear-piercing. Her head aching, Lizzie picked up the screaming toddler and took her upstairs, her own dinner left to grow cold.

Bea screeched like a banshee, crying so hard that her face was red and her cheeks splotchy with tears. Lizzie should’ve insisted on Bea’s nap this afternoon, but Bea hadn’t wanted to nap and Lizzie hadn’t wanted to fight her.

Lizzie made soothing noises, rubbing Bea’s back, before turning on some quiet music. She walked the length of the room with Bea. Her cries quieted somewhat, but she still refused to fall asleep.

“Want me to take her?” Trent touched Lizzie’s shoulder.

Lizzie handed Bea over, and to her consternation and relief, the toddler stopped crying completely. Trent bounced her like he would do when she was just a tiny baby. “There’s nothing to cry about,” he murmured. “You’re just mad. Why is Bea-Bea so mad? You didn’t eat any dinner, either.”

It was stupid and petty, but Lizzie couldn’t help but feel hurt that Trent could calm Bea and not her. And here she was, wanting to get out of Fair Haven and tour. Was she really so selfish? Her gut twisted, and she wasn’t sure if she was madder at Trent or at herself.

“I can put her to bed. Do you want to go back down and finish eating?” he asked.

She wasn’t hungry, but she nodded anyway. Kissing Bea on the cheek, she wandered downstairs, only to find everyone already in the living room and dinner over.

“I saved your plate,” said Jubilee when Lizzie went into the kitchen. “It’s in the microwave.”

Lizzie almost wanted to tell her she shouldn’t have bothered. Morose, she heated up her food and picked at it, only to throw out most of it when no one was looking.

When Trent came back down and sat next to her, putting his arm around her, she flinched. It was a tiny thing, but enough that he noticed.

“Hey, what is it? Bea went to sleep, if you’re worried. I think she just had too much fun today.”

She forced herself to smile. “I know. Thanks for putting her to bed. She wouldn’t stop crying for me.”

“And now you’re beating yourself up about it.” She looked away, because he was right. “Don’t, Lizzie. God knows Bea has done the same to me. She’s not even two. There’s no logic to it.”

Lizzie settled against him, inhaling his scent. She and Trent had fallen for each other in high school, but they’d been too afraid and messed up to get together until two and a half years ago. When Lizzie had accidentally gotten pregnant with Bea, it had become the fresh start they’d needed.

“Eggnog?” Abby handed Lizzie and Trent two mugs. “Be careful, though. I saw Caleb put in a decent amount of rum.”

Just what I needed, thought Lizzie. She drank one mug and then a second one until her worries faded—at least for the moment.

Trent knew when his wife was hiding something from him. He’d never tell her as much, but she was a terrible actress. She tended to get quiet when something was wrong (a big red flag), and then she’d avoid him (another red flag). The two combined were basically a sign screaming, SOMETHING IS WRONG!

Now he just had to figure out how to get her to tell him what it was.

After two years of marriage and having known Lizzie for over a dozen years, he knew well enough that pushing Lizzie to talk meant she’d shut him out. It was rather akin to sticking your hand in a bear trap: one second everything was fine, the next you had metaphorical teeth sunk into your wrist.

At breakfast that morning, the adults were preoccupied with eating when James burst into the room. “It’s snowing!” he practically screeched. “It’s snowing!”

Snow certainly wasn’t unheard of in the Puget Sound, especially at higher elevations. Trent went to the nearest window to see fat wet flakes of snow slowly falling to the ground.

He doubted it would stick, but he wasn’t about to tell James that.

Soon everyone was outside as the snow fell harder, covering the trees and ground with white. “I didn’t think it was cold enough to stick,” said Trent as Lizzie started making a snowman with Bea. “Did you know it would snow?”

“No. The weather app didn’t say anything.” Lizzie began scrounging for enough snow to pack into balls, Bea digging around in the snow until she reached the muddy ground, giggling the entire time.

James came to help them with the snowman while Caleb started a snowball fight. Suddenly it became a girls-versus-boys snowball fight, Jubilee grabbing at Lizzie to come play.

“James can watch Bea. Can’t you, James? We’ll be right here anyway.”

Lizzie laughed, but to Trent’s ears, it sounded hollow. Trying to get into the mood, Trent packed a snowball and, when her back was turned, hit Lizzie between her shoulders.

She whirled, glaring. Finally, a light came into her eyes. Game on.

He grinned as she threw a snowball at him but missed. Yelling, she chased after him, but not before he hit her almost square in the face with one. She sputtered and swore.

“It’s okay,” he jibed, “we all know you have terrible aim.”

“Oh, really? You really want to be talking smack when I’m making the biggest snowball ever?”

“You’ll never hit me with something that big.”

“It’s on, Younger. You better run.”

Trent had longer legs, but he had to admit that when she wanted to win, his wife was fast. They ran into the woods, Lizzie gaining ground despite Trent’s best efforts. He leaped over a log, only to catch the side of his arm on a branch. He swore. He stopped to make sure he wasn’t bleeding, only to realize that he no longer heard Lizzie running after him.

He turned the second Lizzie sneaked up on him and threw the snowball straight onto this head. Snow enveloped him, and he sputtered when the stuff got into his eyes and nose and mouth. Lizzie guffawed. Until Trent tackled her to the ground and held her wrists down despite her best attempts to wiggle free.

“You have snow all over you,” she giggled, her cheeks flushed. “You look like the abominable snowman.”

“And you look like somebody who’s going to get her comeuppance for that prank.”

“Do your worst. I’m ready.”

He kissed her, tasting both her and melted snow, and before long they were kissing so deeply that Trent completely lost track of time. He’d missed this, this closeness. Hadn’t they gone on this trip to take a break from the real world? Except that the real world had followed them here anyway.

Lizzie tried to wiggle free again. “You’re going to have to let me up eventually,” she complained.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

At that, her expression shuttered. She pushed at his chest, and he let her go reluctantly.

“We should get back.”

“Lizzie—”

“Nothing’s wrong. I don’t know why you’d think there was.”

“Bullshit.” He stepped in front of her. “Why are you keeping something from me? Didn’t we vow to tell each other the truth?”

“I’m not lying to you!” Her mouth twisted. “I just haven’t told you some pertinent details.”

“Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to force it out of you?”

She rolled her eyes. “The macho thing does not work for you, husband. Fine, you want to know?”

She blew out a breath. The light breeze played with the dark strands of her hair, her cheeks flushed and her lips a bright red from kissing. In that moment, Trent couldn’t help but feel like she was the most beautiful woman in existence.

“Terry has been bugging me nonstop because he wants me to go on tour. And I want to go.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I can’t go, though. I can’t leave Bea behind, or leave you behind. Or worse, take Bea and separate you two.” It was as if she hadn’t even heard him. “I’m a terrible mother, because sometimes I want to get out of Fair Haven and see the world again. I want to get on stage and sing in front of an audience, not just be a mother or a wife. So no, I didn’t tell you, because it was my burden to bear. And I’m over it. I’m going to tell Terry it’s not going to happen.”

“Why can’t it happen? If it’s because of me and Bea, then we’ll go with you.” The idea sounded insane, but when he spoke it aloud, it didn’t seem quite so crazy.

“You can’t come with me. You have your restaurants. Your family.”

“Lizzie.” He embraced her, and it only took a moment for her to melt against him. “You’re my family. You and Bea. Yes, I love my siblings, just like you love yours, but that doesn’t mean I need to stay in Fair Haven to look after them.” He grinned. “I think Ash would be offended if he thought I needed to look after him.”

“But the restaurants. They’re doing so well, leaving—”

“For one, I could work remotely. Secondly, I have three awesome managers to assist in the day-to-day.”

“And Bea?”

“She’s a baby. She doesn’t care where she goes as long as it’s with us.”

Lizzie blinked and shook her head. “I don’t see how this will work.”

“Maybe it won’t, but isn’t it worth a shot?” He tipped her chin up. “Music makes you happy. I’ve seen that. Wanting to continue that part of your life doesn’t make you a bad wife or mother. If anything, I’d be worried if you didn’t care about music anymore.”

Her chin wobbled. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Now you’re just being stupid.”

She laughed before moaning. “God, now I’m getting excited.” Her eyes began to sparkle, and Trent could see her mind whirling with plans. “How do you feel about going to Europe? France, Germany, Spain, Italy—”

“I was thinking Spokane. Maybe Boise?”

“Shut up.” But her smile belied her words, and by the time they got back to the cabin, Lizzie had returned to her old self again.

The snowball fight having concluded, a few adults had stayed outside to finish the snowman. Bea squealed Mommy! when she saw Lizzie.

She swung Bea into her arms and gave her a loud, smacking kiss. “What do you think about going to Italy?” she asked.

“You’re going to Italy?” asked Seth, who was adding pebbles to the snowman’s torso as buttons. “Since when?”

“Ask Bea. She’s the one making the itinerary.”

Seth sent Trent a confused look. Trent just shrugged and wrapped an arm around his wife and daughter, kissing both.