Chapter 3

Mark & Abby

Abby picked up a fast-moving Bea before she could get too close to the fireplace that had just been lit. Bea wiggled and pointed, saying something that sounded like “daddy” over and over again.

“Your daddy is upstairs,” Abby said as she carried Bea away from the fire. It was the evening of the third day after everyone had arrived at the cabin, and Abby had been enjoying a brief quiet moment before Bea had run into the room.

The toddler babbled as Abby sat her on the floor and started playing with the stuffed animals scattered on the rug. She wondered where Lizzie and Trent were; it wasn’t like them to take their eyes off Bea. Then again, Bea was so fast that they might not have noticed her absence yet.

“There you are!” Lizzie took a deep breath as she crouched next to her daughter. “One second she was there, and the next she’d run off. You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

Abby decided she wouldn’t mention the bit about Bea getting close to the fireplace. No reason to upset Lizzie further.

As an ER nurse, Abby had worked with all kinds of children—and adults. You never knew who would show up in the emergency room on any given day or night. Abby had always enjoyed the babies, though, although she’d never love to see anyone in distress, especially infants and toddlers.

Bea giggled as Lizzie kissed her cheek. Abby’s heart twisted in her chest as she watched them. She’d known coming on this trip would bring up feelings she thought she’d dealt with. She’d told herself to swallow the feelings of envy and sadness, but when you were surrounded by your nieces and nephews, it was next to impossible to keep those feelings in check.

Abby had known for some time that she couldn’t have children. Or at the very least, it would be difficult to conceive. When she and Mark had first married, she’d told herself she was content that it was just the two of them. They had their horses and cats and all kinds of animals on Mark’s ranch. And in the beginning, it had been more than enough.

Except lately, Abby had wanted a baby of her own more and more. It wasn’t simply proximity to babies, although she knew that played a part in it. She’d dream of being pregnant, of holding a baby of her own—a baby equals parts her own and Mark’s. Sometimes the need felt all-consuming. She’d always dismissed the idea of having a biological clock. Now, she felt it ticking louder and louder.

“Bea likes to run away from us lately,” Lizzie was saying. “I think she does it because she knows it’ll freak us out. Do you think it would be super weird to get a baby leash?”

When Abby didn’t respond, Lizzie touched her arm. “Abby, did you hear me?”

Abby forced herself to shake off her melancholy mood. It’s Christmas. I can’t be moping around on Christmas. “Sorry, I was thinking about dinner tonight. What were you saying?”

Eventually the living room filled with people, especially since the weather outside was currently rainy and windy. The babies were almost as loud as the adults.

Arms wrapped around Abby before a low voice said, “Having fun?”

She leaned back into Mark’s embrace, closing her eyes. Out of anyone in the world, he was the one person who could shake her of this sadness. Or at the very least, distract her long enough for her to forget.

“Has your family always been this loud?” she mused.

Mark snorted. “It’s worse now that everyone is paired up.”

Jubilee stole a cookie from Heath’s plate, which made Heath chase her about the room until he caught her and hauled her over his shoulder. Harrison said something that sounded like, “Don’t drop her!” while Caleb yelled, “Shouldn’t steal a man’s cookies.”

As an only child, Abby had had to get used to how boisterous the Thorntons were when she’d attended her first Thornton get-together. Add to that that Mark was easily the quietest of the siblings, and it had been quite enlightening to meet everyone at once.

She and Mark stood some feet away near one of the windows, out of earshot of the rest of the group. Mark turned so they faced each other, although Abby found herself gazing out into the woods, watching the rain patter against the glass.

“You’ve been quiet today. Did something happen?”

She forced herself to smile. “Besides the usual family shenanigans? No.” At Mark’s skeptical expression, she patted his chest. “I’m fine. I’m glad we came, although I can tell you’re itching to get away already.”

That made him smile. “How can you tell? I love my family, but God Almighty, they’re loud.”

Right then, Megan laughed and Rose shouted, and then everyone seemed to be yelling and laughing at the same time.

“I don’t believe you, you know.” Mark touched her nose. “But you can tell me later what’s bothering you.”

To Abby’s immense gratitude, Lizzie chose that moment to interrupt them both to play charades. Mark balked, but Abby pulled him into the group. Sometimes her husband needed a push to get out of his comfort zone. He usually thanked her for it later—usually.

Mark grudgingly marched into the middle of the living room to play. Abby struggled to keep from laughing: he looked like he’d rather endure the rack than play charades.

Abby sat next to Sara, who had Bennett in her lap. Bennett, being curious and busy, soon climbed from his mother’s lap into Abby’s without batting an eyelash. When Sara tried to get Bennett to return to her, Abby just shook her head.

Mark held up two fingers before miming what looked like drinking as his team shouted guesses. On the other team, Abby found her attention wandering, especially as Bennett turned to face her and began to babble baby talk. He was a pretty child, with his dark hair and brown eyes. Pudgy and darling, he began to fiddle with Abby’s necklace before trying to eat it.

“No, don’t eat that. You wouldn’t like it.” Abby took off her necklace and set it on the table next to her. Bennett’s lip trembled, but to her relief, he didn’t start sobbing. It helped that there were plenty of other things for him to fiddle with: the buttons on Abby’s blouse or strands of her hair. She winced when he pulled her hair hard, disentangling his fingers before he could do serious damage.

Her heart did that little squeeze it always did when she was close to a baby lately. Like with Bea, Abby tried to push the feelings away, but this time, she couldn’t. Bennett seemed determined to make her really see what she wanted—and, in a way, accept that she wouldn’t have it.

Oh, they could adopt, and Abby had been seriously considering it. But neither she nor Mark had a lot of extra money to put toward an adoption at this time. They couldn’t ask his parents for money, even if they were willing to help. Having Lisa Thornton interfering with their finances sounded like the worst kind of hell.

Bennett babbled, plucking at her shirt, and Abby moved him so he faced away from her. She leaned down and inhaled his sweet baby scent, his hair silky soft. He was so warm that she was glad she wasn’t sitting any closer to the fire.

“You and Mark will make great parents,” Sara whispered.

Abby’s eyes widened. “Oh no—”

“I can tell when people have that gleam in their eye. When they want to have children.” She smiled before taking Bennett from Abby’s arms. “And this one probably needs a diaper change. Mm, yep, I was right.”

Sara hurried away before Abby could—what? Explain that she couldn’t have children? She didn’t want Sara to feel guilty for saying anything, as it was hardly public knowledge that Abby’s body wasn’t made for having children. She swallowed against the lump in her throat.

Right then, Mark mimed something else, looking completely exasperated, when finally Caleb yelled out, “Vineyard!”

“Finally,” Mark muttered. “Took you long enough.”

Abby felt perilously close to tears, but she refused to break down in the middle of a family game of charades. Getting up, she got upstairs to her and Mark’s bedroom and shut the door, tears leaking from her eyes. She slapped a hand over her mouth to contain the sob wanting to burst through.

She let herself shed a few tears before wiping her eyes. Glancing in the mirror to make sure she didn’t look like a total mess, she returned to the games downstairs before anyone had noticed she was gone.

Christmas Eve meant stuffing stockings. Everyone agreed that instead of buying gifts for everyone else, they’d only buy gifts for their significant others. “Considering we’re all covered on that,” Megan had said, “I don’t think anyone will be too upset.”

That didn’t mean everyone didn’t contribute to the kids’ stockings and gifts, though. Sitting in front of the tree with the rest of the adults after the kids had gone to bed, Abby couldn’t imagine the chaos tomorrow morning when the kids woke up. Good thing only James was old enough to really care.

Mark had bought James a cowboy hat to wear when he visited the ranch. He’d begged Sara to let him have horseback-riding lessons, and she’d finally agreed that he could start in the spring.

Abby had bought the gifts for the babies, although Mark had asked her at least three times if she was okay with that. Was it strange that she’d wanted to buy the toys, the clothes, the tiny items? She didn’t even know anymore. Maybe for a moment she could imagine she was buying those things for their baby, not someone else’s.

“Can you hand me the scissors?” Rose asked as she wrapped ribbon around a box.

Abby handed over the scissors. “Is that Seth’s present?”

“Yep.” She leaned closer so Seth wouldn’t hear. “He’s going to flip out.”

Callie, who was sitting next to Rose, woofed quietly as if in agreement.

“What did you get Mark?”

Abby smiled wryly. “Socks.”

“Wait, really?”

“That’s what he insisted that he wanted.” Abby rolled her eyes. “Why did I marry him again?”

“These Thornton men, you know.” Rose winked. “Sometimes I wonder if we’re all just crazy for putting up with them in the first place.”

Abby caught Mark’s gaze, and she saw his eyes heat with desire. Feeling her cheeks flush, she resumed wrapping gifts, although if her current wrapping job was any indication of her distracted state, she would never admit to it.

Later that evening, she went upstairs to take a bath. Jubilee stopped her in the hall to ask, “Sorry to bug you, but do you have any extra tampons? I didn’t bring enough.”

As Abby got out her bag of supplies, she realized she hadn’t had her period last month and she had yet to get it this month. Since she had PCOS, a condition that messed with her hormones and often resulted in irregular periods, she hadn’t thought anything about it. But she’d never gone this long without some kind of period. She’d gone off birth control within the last year, mostly because she knew she didn’t need it to prevent a pregnancy anyway.

She handed Jubilee some tampons and promptly locked herself in the bathroom to calm her pounding heart.

It was too soon to know. More than likely, her period was just extra late. She shouldn’t get her hopes up. And yet...

Oh God, where’s a pregnancy test when you need one?

She couldn’t help but go into nurse mode right then, asking herself about any other possible symptoms. She hadn’t felt sick to her stomach, but were her breasts tender? They’d been a little sore lately, but she’d attributed that to Mark enjoying her assets a little more vigorously than usual. She hadn’t been extra tired, per se, but then again, she’d taken a nap yesterday and the day before. She’d attributed both simply to being drained from being around so many people in the cabin.

When Abby climbed into bed beside Mark, she was so preoccupied that she jumped a little when he touched her arm.

“Whoa, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He peered more closely at her. “What is it?”

She hadn’t intended to tell him like this. She didn’t even technically have anything to tell him in the first place. But then the words tumbled out, and she found she didn’t regret saying them aloud. “I think I might be pregnant.”

Mark stared at her, his expression completely blank. She was about to repeat herself, thinking he hadn’t heard her, when he finally said, “How?”

“I mean, I’m not sure. I haven’t gotten my period for two months, and that’s rare, even for me. Do you think any of the girls brought a pregnancy test? Why am I asking you that?” She laughed, a little hysterically, vacillating between excitement and dread.

“Abby,” Mark said, “what are you talking about?”

She twisted the edge of the bedsheet. “I mean, I think I might be pregnant. I don’t know for sure. I won’t know until we get back. Unless you want to drive an hour to the general store we passed?”

Mark took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through his hair, and for the first time in a long time, she realized he was well and truly stunned.

“I know we haven’t talked about kids beyond the fact that I thought I couldn’t have any. If you’re not happy about this—”

“Abby. Jesus, am I happy about this?” He shook his head. “Everything about you is a miracle.”

She laughed, giddy, and he kissed her with a love that she felt equally. When he placed his hand on her belly, she prayed that she was right. She prayed that even if she weren’t right, she could give this amazing, kind, loving man a child someday. Mark would be a wonderful father, just like he was a wonderful husband.

“I don’t want to get our hopes up. I’ll probably get my period in the morning and this will have been just a brief little blip.” She felt tears prick her eyes. “But I want a baby, Mark. I do.”

“I know you do. I’ve seen how you’ve looked at the babies. I hated the thought I couldn’t give you that.” He kissed her forehead and wrapped her in his arms. “No matter what happens, I love you. And we’ll have a baby, somehow, someday.”

The next morning, Abby awoke to find Mark already gone. Frowning, she touched his side of the bed. It was already cold, so he must’ve left hours ago. Considering it was all of eight o’clock right now, she wondered why he’d get up so early on Christmas Day.

When she couldn’t find him anywhere after going downstairs, she began to worry. She sent him a quick text, which he replied to within moments. Be there soon.

By the time he arrived, the kids had already unwrapped all of their presents and the adults were starting on theirs. Mark came into the living room, looking harried but exultant.

“Abby, I need to talk to you.”

Abby followed him upstairs, not even realizing she’d followed him into the bathroom until he shut the door behind her.

“Nothing was open. That’s why it took me so long.” He handed her a plastic bag. “But I found a place, finally. Pretty sure the owners don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Abby peered inside the bag. “You bought me a pregnancy test?”

“Go on. Let’s find out if this is happening or not.”

Opening the box, Abby still felt a bit like she was in some kind of surreal dream. But seeing her husband watching her, looking like he was about burst out of his skin with anticipation, brought her back to earth. “I love you, Mark,” she said wryly, “but not enough to let you watch me pee on a pregnancy stick. Shoo.”

Flushing slightly, he muttered under his breath as she pushed him out of the bathroom. Then she got down to business. She knew very well that you had to wait a few minutes for these tests to give you results, but waiting those three minutes was pure torture.

Needing moral support, she let Mark come back inside the bathroom. And then they waited.

When the two pink lines showed up, Abby almost thought it was a joke.

“Is that…?” breathed Mark.

She stared at those two lines—those two blessed, blessed lines—and started laughing. “Yes. Oh my God. I’m pregnant.”

Mark whooped so loudly that Abby was sure the crowd downstairs heard him. Someone knocked on the bathroom door, and Mark opened it to yell in Seth’s face, “We’re having a baby!”

They didn’t wait for Seth to react. When they got downstairs, Mark—normally staid, reserved Mark—yelled, “We’re pregnant!”

The family stopped talking. Even the babies seemed surprised. Then, they erupted into congratulations.

Abby hugged and was hugged by everyone, no one the least bit annoyed at the interruption of their Christmas Day festivities.