Everyone knows. Every fucking person in my school now knows about my relationship with Viktor. Under different circumstances maybe it would have been okay. Maybe if I wasn't seen by Cassandra in that hidden sex room it would have been different. Maybe if he wasn't this rich it would have been different. But it's not. It is what it is. My biggest fear became a reality. I was labelled as a 'sugar baby'. I couldn't disagree any more with that label. I don't seek his money, I never wanted it.
Of course, the lux he has built is appealing. I'm a sinner for getting comfortable with that. Maybe people are right to call me that. But I never wanted it. I would have been with him even if he wasn't living in that big house. Or if he wasn't driving that expensive car. Of course, it's a huge flex but is something that I can't change. Everyone wants a big house and an expensive car, just not everyone can afford it. But I never wanted a thing from him.
Viktor didn't come home all night. Not until the small early morning hours. I don't know where he was. I don't know who he was with or what he did while he was out. I don't even know exactly when he came back home. I was in a state of mid-sleep and got startled by barking Ginger. I waited for a few minutes, but Viktor didn't come to the bedroom, so I went on a short mission to find him.I see the kitchen's lights are on, so I suppose he is there and indeed, he is there. Sitting in a chair with his back towards the door and swirling a whiskey tumbler on the table."Viktor..?" I cross my arms and step cautiously to him. "Viktor, are you alright?" I ask but get no answer. "Viktor, please. Talk to me," I beg and walk to the chair next to him."Do you really love me?" he suddenly speaks, not breaking the staring at the glass in his hand.His question catches me off-guard. The way he asks it, with hands gr
I grew up with stories about true love. I grew up watching kids movies about princesses and they always were ending with the prince, understandable. My mother was saying they call the prince of the story 'prince Charming' because of the way the princess looks at him. She also said that every girl will meet her 'prince Charming'. My dad was her prince Charming.I grew up with my parents' story as a leading point of my life. They were always saying the same story, never changed a word of it.My mother, Shelly Cox, or previously Shelly Peters was 17 when she met dad. My father, Shawn Cox, was 20. She was still a high school student, he was first year in med school. She was a 'true rebel', according to dad and he was 'your average goody-two-shoes'. Theirs was a love of first sight, or it's what they were saying. I remember my dad retelling their story every time he had the opportunity to.The story, as seen by my father went
"Good morning, little one." I hear Viktor's gentle voice, followed by a kiss, 'Sleeping beauty' style. "Uh, good morning," I mutter while I lazily yet loudly stretch my body. "God, it's so early," I then protest and roll to the other side of the bed. "It's 10 in the morning actually, but you suffer the consequences of changing time zones," Viktor chuckles. "Come on, I have planned some things for the day that I believe you will find entertaining." "Ugh, how are you so energetic in the mornings? Like, for real? What's the secret?" I cry out. It's way too early. "I'm just used to having little if not sometimes no sleep at all," he shrugs. "Oof, can't we just stay here instead?" I complain again and pull Viktor by his hand and in the bed on top of me. "I didn't bring you here to lay in bed all day, did I?" Viktor gifts me a shiny smile
"What's going on inside that pretty head of yours?""Huh?""You zoned out. What were you thinking about?""Oh, just about some random stuff," I shrug and make myself comfortable in the lounge."Stuff but what stuff?" Viktor looks at me over his sunglasses as he lifts to a sitting position."Just... I thought about my funeral, to be honest," I purse my lips and look up to the clear sky."Uh, where's this coming from? If I knew any better, we are at the beach and far from death," he furrows his brows and takes off the black glasses."Haven't you thought about your funeral? When the day comes, have you ever wondered who will come? Why will those people come? Did they remember you with good or bad? Such stuff," I shrug. "I think my funeral will be attended by only one person. Two, if we count you.""Where are
It's Wednesday today and I feel still as awful and drained as I did on Monday. Viktor insists I should see a doctor, but I utterly hate the stink of hospital and sterilisation, so in front of him I try to play healthy and alright but actually I feel like I want to dig a deep hole and lie inside it.I go to school and Lucy keeps asking what's wrong with me. Telling her my symptoms she suggests I should go see a doctor too. And when I refuse, she complains about how reckless I am with my health. She suggested I might got some disease since I got stung by something on our trip to the Bahamas, but then she checks on the internet and my symptoms don't match the symptoms of Malaria or other diseases. I have no high fever, skin problems or swollen lymphs.In the end, my annoying best friend convinces me to at least visit the school nurse and here I am now during lunch break."What's the matter, lovely?" the ageing nurse b
Today I made a decision. I decided to be selfish, egocentric. At least for once in my life. For once I chose to put myself before everything else. I didn't sleep all night, my thoughts gave me no rest again. I tossed and turned. I wanted to sleep, I really wanted. But I couldn't.I thought over all the possibilities very carefully. Of course, my brain made me rethink if I should keep the baby. My brain, and the exhaustion probably, made me imagine how it would be if I keep the baby. Viktor's words made me think about what it would be. Could we be a happy family? What kind of a mother would I be? What kind of a father would he be? I guess we won't be able to know. At least the part where he becomes a dad. Or I won't be the lucky one to find out.I made a decision for myself. I can't keep it. I can't give up on my dreams. I want to study in college, I want to attend crazy dorm parties, I want to make many friends. And it can't be done with a b
It's been almost a month now since that day. 30st September. I will never forget this date. It's the day that changed me forever. Or it's how it feels now. The abortion was successful and I didn't suffer major side effects. Only the most common ones. And now, life goes on. It's Tuesday and I'm back to school. It's been a week now. And I don't know what magic did Viktor do, but nowhere in my record is noted that I was absent for almost a whole month. And surprisingly, I have passed a major test in Physics. I didn't even do it but I don't complain. I utterly hate Physics. Lucy doesn't stop following me everywhere I go. Not that she was leaving me to breathe in peace before, but now is even worse. She watches after me like an overprotective mother. I take a step, she takes a step. I am not even sure if she didn't synchronise her blinking with mine, because I haven't seen her blink at least once. Maybe she does when I do? So she doesn't miss
"You can't be serious," I throw Viktor a doubtful look. "A vampire, seriously?""Don't you like me? I'm big, bad, dark and want to dig my teeth in your skin, how this look is not fitting me?" he smiles to show me the fake vampire fangs he stuffed in his mouth and waves the red cape he tried on."You are such a dork sometimes," I laugh."And? What about you? Are you going to be a sexy bunny? Or Catwoman?" he smirks as he looks at the provocatively short female costumes shown on the mannequins."If you are a vampire it's only fair if I am a werewolf," I wiggle my brows and point to the overly hairy full-body costume of a werewolf."First, why a werewolf? And second, if you haven't shown me that costume I would have imagined you with dog ears and bent over the couch in doggy style. I don't find a full-body hairy costume sexy," he frowns."Who said I want to be s
This is the worst graduation ceremony you could ever see. Not because of the ceremony itself but because of me. I feel dead. Viktor is in jail. It's the reality, it wasn't a nightmare. I really hoped for it to be a bad dream. I hoped that I fell asleep while watching horrors and my brain played such unbelievable scenarios, but no. It's real. It's late May now and the weather is warm. Why do I feel so cold then? I barely slept and cried a lot last night, maybe that's the reason. Our school hosts a big and fancy graduation ceremony. There are togas, awards and diplomas. Lucy's boyfriend, Gideon is awarded 'best football player', the ultimate teacher's pet is awarded 'smartest student', Lucy is graduated 'most artistic student' and the list of awards goes on and on. And no, I'm not awarded shit. And I couldn't care less. I keep my nose stuck in my phone. Viktor's arrest and the exposure of
"What do you mean you have to leave?!""It means that I have to leave," Viktor nonchalantly shrugs as he pushes another shirt in his travel bag. "Hopefully, for a few days. A week the most.""But... You can't! You will miss my graduation ceremony!" I complain."I'm sorry, little one. I can't miss this deal," he says without even looking at me. He just keeps stuffing his travel bag with clothes. "I didn't want to tell you earlier. I got the call the other day, when was your Prom night. I didn't want to ruin your mood.""But that was two days ago! Why are you telling me the last moment?!" I throw myself sitting on the edge of the bed and cross my arms angry and confused. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?!""I told you, I didn't want to ruin your mood," he says as he pulls the zipper of the bag."And you thought telling me an hour before your departure is the r
"This one really does looks good on you!""I like the first one better.""No one is asking you.""Can you two just shut up?" I scoff. "You are bickering like kids."So, as you probably guessed I'm together with Lucy and Viktor and we are picking a gown for the Prom night. It would have been funny if it wasn't annoying. The theme this year is "Spring magic" and I narrowed the options to three and truth be told, I am with Viktor in this.The first dress I tried and he liked is in gentle mint green. It has a deep V neck and open back, really high slash and is high split with the upper part being covered in rhinestones. It's truly beautiful and really sexy. I love how it suits me.The one Lucy liked is a princess type of big, in gentle pink, with open back and again is covered with rhinestones. I like it too, but I feel a little like a cake.
Have you ever wanted to have the ability to stop time? As the inevitability comes closer to becoming the bitter reality, have you ever wanted to be able to stop time? Yes? That's exactly how I feel.It's late March already. Spring is settling in, life seems to have awakened from the winter sleep. It's warmer, calmer, prettier. Nature's beauty is revived. Why don't I feel any calmer then?Viktor came to peace with the fact I'm not willing to give up on Berkeley. Or at least he pretends to have accepted it. He has, maybe, but I am not. I gave up on the hope of him following me to there. First, he promised to try everything possible to be with me but then he just defeatedly admitted that he will miss me.At first, his confession made me feel somehow loved by him. It melted me like butter. I liked his confession at first, but now... Now realisation has finally struck me. He has given up. He will not follow me to Berkel
"So? How did it go?""Uh?""The tour around the university. How did it go?""Oh... it was good. Yeah, it was good."After I drive for another six hours back to Long Beach, I come home to find Viktor carelessly lying on the couch in the living room and watching something on the TV. The moment I step a foot through the door I feel some sort of tension. Actually, I feel it since the other day on our way back from the vacation.We haven't talked about my choice of a university since then but there seem to be unspoken things that fuel this awkward tension between us."Did you do what you had to do?" I ask as I sit on one of the small stools in front of him, just wanting to start some sort of a dialogue. Have you ever felt so awkward around someone that you just feel the need to say something? That's how awkward I feel for a few days now."Hm?"
It's such a pity we have to leave already. I fell in love with this small neat town, its friendly people and beautiful landscape. Originally, we were supposed to stay for four nights but the weather was in my personal favour. It was heavily snowing during the last night of our stay, so instead of leaving on Wednesday morning, we leave on Thursday. I can't say I'm disappointed, a whole day being in complete privacy at a mountain cabin with Viktor only, is far from being a reason to complain. At first, Viktor was a little moody for having to stay closed in one place for over 24 hours but I know how to fastly turn that frown upside down. If you catch my drift. Anyways, this was just the perfect vacation and I will gladly accept people calling me names for being with Viktor if that means I will visit more such incredible places. "Do you want me to drive?" I offer my d
"Come on! One more! Right here!" "Ugh, fiiine." Our first day here flew away in doing nothing. We ate, warmed each other in bed and rested. Six hours are tiring, no matter if you are on the driver's or the passenger's side. For our second day here we decided to make the best out of it. We decided to go on a walk through the town and I want to take photos of the whole place. I pose next to big live and beautifully decorated Christmas trees, I take a few selfies with Viktor with the downtown's decor as a background. I take a lot of photos. Memories might stay forever but I want to secure myself and have photos. "Tell me we are staying for at least a week!" I bounce joyfully in front of Viktor on our way to one of the few small restaurants in the town. "We can stay for as long as you want," he chuckles. "How about a month?" I giggle.
I have never been the angel everyone thinks I am. I have never pretended to be one, I don't know why people think so highly of me. Is it because of my looks? People say I have an innocent and handsome face.I took the silver eyes from my mother. And thanks god, because my father has the most basic brown eyes you can ever see.Those eyes have seen much. Maybe too much. They have shown me pain and happiness, they have shown me naked bodies and pretty faces. They have shown me love and disappointment. They have shown me much.And that ash-blonde hair, I got it from my mom again. Messy untameable locks that felt the entangling fingers of enough girls.I don't pretend to be a player. No. I was something much worse.I got much from my mother. But I wish I got her courage to leave. I wish I got it sooner.I was born and raised in what I thought was a happy fam
"Wake up, little one.""Huh?!""Come on, wake up," Viktor's long fingers gently brush my hairs."But why?" I complain still asleep then roll to the other side."We need to leave," I hear him chuckling then."Uh? Why?""I promised you snow for Christmas, didn't I? Come on, get up. It's a long drive.""But... it's 5:30 AM for god's sake," I cry out as I check my phone."Yes, exactly. And it's almost six hours drive. Come on," Viktor laughs and pulls me out of the bed. "Come on, get prepared. I packed you warm clothes already, all you need to do is simply get up and get ready."I groan and complain, I curse and cry at the fact I was awakened so early. I have never been the morning type but never had problems with waking up early when I have to either. Never had problems with it but when i